I just want to talk about my Millie

It's been about four days since my daughter ended her life, and I just wanted to talk about her a little bit, especially since her birthday was the 27th. It was hard to go through that without really anybody to talk to. I don't know a lot of people where we live, so everybody's just been giving obligatory condolences and it feels really hard to tell them about my baby. It always feels like I'm talking into a void when I write here, so I figured I'd just give it a shot to see how it feels to talk about Millie like this.When it was just the two of us, we would have so much fun. Back when she had braces, I'd be the one to take her to all her orthodontist appointments. I'd let her take the whole day off school, and we would get breakfast together, and then I'd take her to the appointment. Afterwards, we'd get pedicures and go see a movie and have ice cream. And we were so happy. Millie would be having the worst week imaginable and then we'd go out together, and she'd just smile so big. It made me feel like I was some kind of a supermom. I just loved making her happy. She could never find anything with her full name- Millicent- on it, so I'd get custom stuff made for her from friends and companies, just so she could have a keychain to show off like all her friends did. I got her a Millicent mug, and one with my name for myself, and the paint on hers is barely there she used it so much. She loved that mug.Millie was so sweet and sentimental. She'd save up all her birthday cards, and read them whenever she got sad. And whatever we got her for her birthday or Christmas, she was always so grateful. Even a pair of socks got a squealing reaction from her, and whenever she didn't like something, she would just give it to someone who could use it more than her. She was so charitable. She always put other people before herself, she always was concerned with everyone else's happiness. Millie was the best daughter a mother could ask for. We loved each other so much, and I'll admit, I doubted if she loved me sometimes. But I feel like I know it now, just thinking about all those years with her. Millie loved me. And I loved my Millie so much.All I want to do is tell people about her. She didn't have enough time. Nobody is going to know my Millie in 5 years if I don't tell them. She never had the chance to do her big, world changing thing. I don't want to make her some icon of mental health awareness. I don't want to make her a martyr. I just want people to know that Millicent Grace existed. I want people to know that Millie fell asleep listening to public radio, that she poured honey in her cereal, that she wanted to be valedictorian just to give a speech, that she was someone incredible. I just want to tell people about my daughter before they forget I even had one. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GVKwZ7