Easy son and difficult daughter. How do you prevent favoritism when one kid is way more challenging than the other?

I am the father of 3 young kids. 5 year old boy/girl twins and an 18 month old as well. I am a stay at home dad and the twins are in kindergarten.My son is so much easier than my daughter. They have a late birthday (September) and we considered holding them back because we were worried about our daughter's maturity. We sent them and our son is thriving. Our daughter isn't as much. She is moving along but very slowly and doesn't have the same enthusiasm for school.She also has numerous sensory issues and a real defiant streak. She says no to everything and makes things so difficult. Trying to do her hair in the morning is ridiculous because she fights me the whole way. Getting ready for school is a struggle. She doesn't care about time outs. We have tried sticker charts and hoped that seeing her brother get rewarded would encourage her to behave. When that failed we tried having just a sticker chart for her. That failed worse. She is still throwing tantrums regularly. It's her way or the high way.As a result I find her twin brother so much more fun to be around. He plays with me without getting upset if I touch his structure. My daughter gets mad if I play the wrong way. We like to go outdoors and ride bikes and play some sports. My daughter hates being outdoors and throws tantrums if she gets messy. We had her evaluated for autism and she isn't autistic. She is just programmed on hard mode.How do I make sure she doesn't get lost in the shuffle. It's so much easier to want to spend time with my son. I spend an equal amount of time with the twins but have caught myself wishing I was playing with my son instead whenever my daughter has her meltdown. I hate that. I love my kids and don't want to feel that anymore. We have her in OT and it's improving but I'm worried that it will always kind of be this way. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2CJ6bTO

Just wondering why my ex had to take my son from me

My ex and I have 2 kids together. The youngest is not mine. I did not know this until he was 8. She cheated on me, she had a feeling he wasn’t mine, but never mentioned it until my wife got pregnant. This pissed my ex off for some reason despite the fact that ex is married and has a kid with her husband.Anyway, she insists on getting DNA tests done. The kid is in fact not mine, she contacts the “real” dad and they’re all smiles. I’m stripped of my rights as his father since we were never married and it was proven that he wasn’t mine.It hurt. A lot. I love my son. And yepp, he’s my son. Sorry Ex, DNA isn’t changing that.Time goes on. She gets over being pissed at me for having a child with my wife and lets me continue to see my son. The happily ever after with the real dad fades.But it’s not the same. I get NO holidays with him. I get NO guaranteed time. I get NO say in any decisions made regarding his health and well being. It fucking sucks.I’m treated like a babysitter. I only get my son when the ex doesn’t want him. When my daughter visits, I have to beg their mom to let my son come too. Hell, I have to beg to get info on when his next soccer game is.I just want to be his dad. That’s it. His real dad wants nothing to do with them so now he’s left with no stable father in his life. Just me who is sometimes allowed to be involved. Oh and his step dad who “breaks up” with ex every other week and occasionally hits her. Very loving guy /sThe holidays were really rough. This was supposed to be my year to have the kids for Christmas but nope, I only got to have my daughter over. Haven’t seen my son in weeks and I have no clue when I will. I didn’t even get to see him open the presents I bought.We live in a fairly small town and see old friends and acquaintances all the time in public. It kills me inside when someone asks where he is when they see me with just my daughter. I want to say “your guess is as good as mine!” But I just smile and say “with his mom”.Not sure where I’m going with this but I’m just not feeling good tonight. I remember one New Years Eve before I was married, it just me and my 2 kids. We drank sparkling cider, popped confetti shooters, and made funny glasses out of construction paper and crayons. It kills me that I will never get a night like that back.At most, I’ll get to celebrate a week later when ex decides she wants a break from him.Happy New Years to ya all! Hope yours is better than mine. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2BQbTS9

I threw out my tree the day after Christmas. Am I normal?

I couldn’t take it anymore. Looking at me. Shedding on me. Taking up valuable toddler space. Shedding on my kids. Not absorbing water anymore. Shedding on everything. Still sticky somehow.I’m done.Happy new year. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2BUDrFM

In very little time me and my wife have experienced a lot of aspects of parenting with our baby boy, we celebrated his birth, he got sick and we have to spend our first anniversary with him in hospital which was a surreal experience and we took him home when he got better. BUT...

We were not ready for a child loss this early in our parenting. We lost our child the day we brought him home. He was alright and the most active that day. He was responsing as 6 month child. He made all of our family happy that day but we didn't know he was leaving us that night.For the first time in many nights my wife got to sleep sound and deep but she had put alarm on her mobile to feed him. After 15-20 minutes she got awake but our son has left us by then without any signs or symptoms to tell us. We brought him to hospital but they just confirmed that.It's 2 weeks now but we are at very much loss. My wife have got stabilized a little but now and then she got very upset. I myself also got very very upset and sometimes on myself. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2ToRPxv

Our nephew punched my son

So over all I like my in-laws. Some of the kids are well behaved, some of them aren't. This nephew is 5, my son is 4. So pretty close in age, but this boy doesn't listen for shit. I hate to bash someone's parenting because if it works for the child, who cares. But the parents have no control because they don't stick to any repercussions, they care about his feelings more than punishments. Normally, it's whatever, but your child hurt mine!Well, I wasn't there when this happened, but my husband was. So nephew grabbed my son by the shirt and straight-up punched him in the face with intent. He made my son's nose bleed. Nephew's father was in the other room, so my husband stepped in. He put nephew in time out and yelled (loudly and sternly) at him. Then talked to nephew on why He did it... 'because (son) roared at him'. Then DH explained that is the wrong reaction ect. He handled the situation better than I would.Anyway, I don't want to make a thing of it because DH already handled it and told both parents about the incident. But I am PISSED. This child has no repercussions for his actions. If my son did that I'd woop him silly and leave the house. Not for this child, when nephew's father walk in (hearing DH yelling at his child, somewhat on defense) nephew got a 'oh you shouldn't do that'. STFU and take a toy away or something, ANYTHING!I'm looking for ideas of a passive way for the next family event to approach this if it happens again.Edit- On top of this kid hitting mine, my son has a brain condition (Chiari). So any hit to the head (or any minor incident) could potentially mean surgery. I'm a little over protective of that beautiful head of his. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2LJaCkj

Are there any parents of children 4 and under who don't feel like they're treading water?

If so, what's the secret? Do you have a big support system outside of your spouse?I was just reading a thread on a different sub discussing stay-at-home moms and working moms and someone put it well by saying how both groups are treading water, basically in survival mode.It's totally true and feels like it could not have always been this way for humans. Where and when did it go wrong as a species?Is there anybody with young children who feels like they are not just surviving but also thriving on a personal level? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2GQj2Yl

I want another kid, gf doesn’t. How to move on?

I (33M) have a 6 year old son, I am widowed, my wife died shortly after childbirth from complications. It has been my son and I for the past 6 years, I have dated on and off, but nothing serious, until my gf.My girlfriend (31F) has a 4 year old daughter. Her ex Bf left when she found out she was pregnant and she hasn’t heard from him since. We have been dating 3 years. So I’ve been around since her daughter was one and she’s been around since my son was 3. We do live together and have both kids full time.I always imagined us having a child of our own. But my gf is adamant that she’s happy with the family we have. I genuinely love her daughter, she calls me dad, I consider her my daughter. My son calls my gf mom, and she treats him like he’s her own.I have a ring, and have been thinking about proposing for the past year, this is the only thing holding me back. This isn’t something you can compromise on.Any advise on accepting not having more kids when you want them? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2Aq38hB

Will only poop at school!

Alright parents, I need some advice. My 3.5 year old is doing great with potty training. Around age 3 he was completely pee trained, but still having trouble with pooping on the potty, which was fine, because I know lots of kids struggle with #2. He has finally come around to the idea and will successfully poop on the potty at school, but nowhere else!! He evens comes home all proud and says “I pooped on the potty at school today!”When we are home or at someone else’s house, he will show very obvious signs he needs to poop (farting, holding himself) but no matter how many times I ask him or try to persuade him, he will absolutely refuse to go potty. Often this ends up with him running to a corner when we’re not paying attention and pooping his pants. We’ve tried everything including a special Paw Patrol potty seat, sticker chart, treats, toys, etc. Any advice or suggestions? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2rYtgeY

Give it to me straight. How important is clothing choice for kids in public schools? Are kids bullied over their style?

This is something I keep seeing on this sub. Kids who are tortured because they wear the wrong style of underwear or the wrong brand of socks. Is this something that actually happens in real life?I'm asking because my oldest will be starting middle school next year and for the first time his school will not require a uniform. Only the elementary schools in the district will continue to require a uniform. We don't go all out on clothes. He doesn't care about clothes and gets them dirty so we mainly get hand me downs from relatives or go to the thrift shop. We go to the outlet mall for socks, underwear, and nicer clothes but I don't shop by brand and my son just cares that it's comfortable. I have no clue what brand of socks he wears. I don't even know what brand of shirts or shorts he wears. He grabs whatever.I don't want to set him up for failure but no boy has ever said anything about his clothing before. He dresses out for gym and no one has commented on his socks or underwear or undershirt or anything. Is this regional? We are in a more liberal part of the world. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EZyTlK

Having a singletons after twins. Worried about the youngest one being left out.

I have 18 month old twin boys. They will be 20 months when their baby brother is born. Lately I have been worried about the youngest one feeling left out as they get older. The twins are already referred to as "the twins" by everyone around us so I don't want them to be "the twins and the other one."I don't know if this is a valid fear or not. I could be projecting. I grew up being 10 and 12 years younger than my brother and sister. They were/are best friends and I felt like I grew up as an only child for the most part. Even now they go out and do things together and I never felt that same sibling bond they have with each other. My husband grew up being 18 months younger than his only sibling and they are still very close.I know identical twins often have a strong bond and I want to keep that in my twins but I don't want the younger one to feel like he's just the other one. We might have a 4th but I'm not sure yet. Is this the hormones talking or is this something I have to actively work to prevent? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2F1UusG

Keeping my newborn warm

I just moved from Louisiana to Wisconsin and am having my first child in February. Our home is 117 years old and can get cold. What can I do to ensure my baby is warm enough?Edit 1: sleep sack has been mentioned and seems popular. Also told my wife this and she opened a closet full of stuff... apparently I am a bad Listener via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EUGWzr

6 year old with acne?

My son has always had sensitive skin, breaks out into random rashes, and was also diagnosed with Ezcema as an infant (went away and recently came back), however within the last few weeks he's developed "acne" (a bunch of pimples) around his mouth and chin.We use NIVEA Soft lotion on his face, hypoallergenic body wash, and the is also prescribed EUCRISA for his cheeks for the Ezcema. We started using Cetaphil face wash this weekend.Has anyone else experienced this? Or have any advice? He's at that age he's embarrassed about it, because kids ask about it. So I'm willing to try anything?! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EYVEGk

Tip for parents who are putting their kid(s) into daycare for the first time: write their name on EVERYTHING.

And yes, I mean everything. Every sock, every shoe, every article of clothing, every container in their lunchbox, and if they’re going to a daycare with water sports, PLEASE label their towels.I worked in daycare with children aged 2-4, and they lost a lot of their shit. A lot of the time when we’d find a lost item and would ask the class who’s it is, we’d be met with fifteen little blank stares.You have no idea how many complaints we’d get from parents every week telling us that their kids don’t have all of their stuff that they came in with, but what they don’t do is label it. We’ve got lots of kids and we can’t memorize every individual’s whole wardrobe, and we can’t tell which Tupperware came from which lunchbox.But we can read! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EYrv9u

Weekly - Stories from the week/end - December 31, 2018

This weekly thread is meant as a place to share stories that happened to us as parents over the weekend. Share good, bad, fun, not fun, etc. Also, if you ever wonder who we are, click here to meet the mod team! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EXQf2k

Respect for the SAH moms and dads!

Just want to send some love toward the stay at home moms and dads out there. The kids have been off from daycare since the 21st and will go back Wednesday. I took the week off from work to watch them, and it’s day 4 of me on my own with two toddlers. I don’t know how you guys do this full time, it’s so much harder than it seems on paper! Of course, we have had lots of fun moments and snuggles this week, but dang. It’s rough! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2GNIcHd

Any experience giving up custody?

Our 8 year old daughter is currently in a residential care facility. She has a long history of manipulative, violent, and destructive behavior. Our family is not safe when she's at home. Despite many therapists, medications, facilities, and interventions she refuses to engage with any therapy to work on her rage or coping skills. Because of insurance, and her refusal to work towards any therapeutic goals (even just participating in therapy), she may not have much time left at the residential facility. My husband and I have an appointment with a lawyer to discuss terminating custody so she can continue to get the intensive oversight and care she needs, perhaps in a group home, which is not covered by any insurance available to us.Has anyone been through this process before? If so, what should we expect? What do you wish you knew before going down this road? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EXKBgE

My niece is horrible

My sister is the kindest soul you would ever meet, and a very loving mother.She has three daughters: 6, 8 & 10.The youngest and oldest daughters are sweet as sunshine. But the middle daughter is a nightmare.She has tantrums over the smallest things many times per day. She explodes with foul verbal abuse. She physically attacks her sisters and grownups. She has tortured animals.My sister has tried therapy but the daughter didnt engage or else was all sweet and the psychologist was like 'your daughter is absolutely fine'.Lately my sister cries every night. She is at the end and doesnt know what to do. It is seriously destroying her whole family.Any advice? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2CIbhQb

How to avoid resentment when one kid is always complimented on their looks and the other is ignored?

I have 2 amazing little boys. They are 6 and 5 and are 16 months apart.Both are gorgeous in my eyes but the oldest is the one who gets stopped when we go out. People ask if we have considered commercials or modeling. I'm not saying this to brag but these are what people say often. A few moms of girls in his first grade class or in his karate class call him their daughter's boyfriend. We thank them but don't pay much attention to it and never mention looks at home.This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a younger son who is noticing and asking why people don't say things about him. I don't know what to tell him. I don't want to focus to much on looks so I don't know if it's better to tell him that he's handsome too or if I should focus on other traits that make him great.I don't want him to feel like he's living in his brother's shadow. His brother is more outgoing and gets more attention in general so I worry that this will add to the problem.Please help. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EV6sVg

My 6yr old son flipped off his mother over a video game!

Last night I was driving home from work and I got a phone call from my wife, Libby, she had told me that she was trying to tell my son (Conner) to get off his video game and he turned around and yelled at her while holding up “The middle finger”. I really don’t know where my son could have gotten this behavior from. Maybe some kids at school is all I can think of because no one else talks like that or holds up “the middle finger” in our house.I really think one of his friends at school or something told him about this. I mean, he’s in kindergarten, so is this too early to be dealing with something like this? What kindergartener knows what the “the middle finger” is at that age? Obviously my kid 😢He doesn’t watch YouTube, he watches kid YouTube and all the videos are for a elementary level. So I know that it didn’t come from there. He watches tv but only cartoons on Nickelodeon so where could it have come from? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2GNy2pM

We're trying out something new at our house that I'm calling "The Coin System"...

I picked up some Super Mario coins and banks and we made a list of chores for the kids to do that earn them a coin. Each coin is worth 20 minutes of video game time. I'm not a fan of allowances or for paying kids money for chores, but I do like incentivizing responsibilities. So far the kids are loving it and they are actively asking us to do chores.http://bit.ly/2GNvMii and the banks make the Mario coin sound when you put a coin in. 😁 via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2R3G2be

IT IS A VICTORY...

So my son is 4yrs old basically lives on grilled cheese and steak 🙄. He is sooo damn picky but tonight i pulled out a veggie tray for dinner(I have been really sick so cant really eat). He looks at the celery and picks one up and starts eating it, WILLINGLY!!! I asked do u want more in a bowl and he said YES!!! I AM SO TAKING THIS AS A WIN WOOT!!! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EY117R

3.5yr old having a hard time potty training

My daughter is 3.5yr old and has a speech delay but is able to understand and communicate a few words. She can say poop and pee and understands the concept of going on the toilet. She just does not appear to care one bit about it. She has successfully gone on the potty many times, with great fanfare from me, but just doesn't care to make it a habit.I did naked time for 4 days, bought a carpet cleaner. I did the 3 day potty training book. I bribed her with a doll she wanted I bribed her with a kindle I gave her gummies, marshmallows, m&ms, chocolate chips etc. Every time she went I took away diapers completely and I now have to wash a load of underwear daily and have to keep her away from plush surfaces. I got her potty time dolls, we "potty train" the dolls I got her potty books we read I got her a potty time watch that goes off every 30 minutes reminding us to go to the potty. This was the most successful for about a day.I have 4 kids in all, a 6.5yr old boy and my girls are 5.5yr, 3.5yr and 18m old. The first two were tough but it seemed to "click" for them after a few successes. This kid just has zero care. She will poop or pee in her undies and just walk around like that and refuse to say anything about it.Help! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2RqR4qi

Update: Preteen son embarrassed about crying during a game because of a medical crisis. Doesn't want to play in his tournament.

http://bit.ly/2LE3Ps0 got a lot of good responses and wasn't able to comment because of my schedule but wanted to let anyone who was interested know how the tournament went.Essentially my son with type 1 diabetes passed out during a basketball game last week. When he woke up he was scared and started crying. He wasn't sobbing but it was noticeable and his coaches helped him off the court.My son had practice and a tournament yesterday and was so embarrassed about crying in front of his teammates that he wanted to avoid the game all together. We talked to him about it and told him that people wouldn't care but he insisted they would. I asked him if he wanted me to email the coach and he said that would make things worse. I explained to him that he needed to go to his game for his teammates and that I understand why this is hard, but you can't run from embarrassment. He reluctantly ended up going to his practice the morning before the tournament and the coach asked him if he wanted to explain what happened. Most of his teammates don't know about his diabetes so my son decided to explain what happened, why it happened, and what to do if it happens again. He joked that sometimes passing out like that can make your eyes water so it looks like you are crying even if you aren't.He had no problems with being teased and went out to eat with his teammates last night after their tournament. He was happy to play and was glad that he went.Thanks for the advice. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2GKJItz

Discovered my 10 yr old son is searching up porn. How do I talk to him about this?

His father and I are not together and I’d like to involve him in on this talk but I want to get some advice first before I do so. I didn’t think I would come across this issue until he was older. Now that I’m here, I’m at a loss. I want him to feel comfortable with his sexuality and the changes in his body but I don’t want to make this an awkward talk. What are some tips some of you can give me to help make this talk a lot easier? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EUKTUK

Parents don't clean and I struggle to be assertive

I (24F) moved out of my family home six years ago, when it was a bit messy but nothing major. Fast forward six years and there's stuff everywhere on the floor and on the sofas, damp on some of the walls, and every time I go home I ask if I can help to tidy and my mum says no because she will do it, but next time I go it's never done and is even worse. My mum and step dad live there with my brothers who are 21 and 10.They all do the minimum (wash pots, throw rubbish away etc) but there's just clothes, toys, things EVERYWHERE, and I think it's a combination of it getting on top of them and being overwhelming, but also a bit of them being oblivious because they see it every day, I see it once a month. My mum showed me my brothers room the other day and pointed out how messy it is, when there is mess everywhere in her room. Like to the point where you have to hop across the carpet to find a place to put your foot on.I wouldn't be as bothered but for my younger brothers sake I want him to grow up in a tidy home. My step dad also has asthma and chest problems and I can't for the life of me understand why he wants to live in a dusty, damp home. I want to go there for one day to do a massive clean but my problem is my mum is very sensitive and has fallen out with a LOT of family members and I've struggled to be assertive all of my life for fear of upsetting. I wouldn't like it if someone came into my home and told me I need to clean, but I know I need to say something along those lines. How would you tackle it? Don't hold back!​ via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2BMfJvp

Father of 17 yo son who snuck out 4 months ago

I posted on here about 4 months ago and received a fair bit of criticism for my actions and I would like to give an update as to what progressed.My son did write the one-page essay as I asked. He did not give any solutions as to how he would rebuild my trust, instead, he basically said the same as many of the comments on my last post stated. He stated that he would apply to colleges soon and if I would not respect him "so be it I only have to deal with that for less than a year." I realized that maybe you all were right and I was way too harsh on a 17 yo man. While we are still not talking a lot some things have smoothed out a bit. He got his car back in September, so not a year without a car just a month. He got his phone back, but we will still use Life360 to keep an eye on his location. We did get to meet his girlfriend and my wife invited her to our family Christmas party. I still don't know her all that well and I am still rather upset he didn't tell us about her sooner. I do not believe that he has snuck out again but I have no way of knowing for sure because he's a really smart kid that I believe can find workarounds for Life360. He finished his college applications and he made me proud with those. He submitted 8 applications, top three are Georgia Tech, Texas A&M, and Minnesota twin cities. He's gotten 6 acceptance letters and he's just waiting to hear back from GT and Purdue. Overall, I am proud of my son but I am upset with actions. I made this post to let everyone who was/is concerned informed as to what resulted.Edit: link to first part: http://bit.ly/2ThUfxS via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2QXFPWY

Update (by request): I retired from cooking

I don't know how to link my original post, but people there are requesting updates.Short version of original story: Kids (teens and preteens) had turned into picky little shits and complained about every meal I cooked, so I announced I was retiring from cooking for the family.The update:For about two weeks, everyone lived off of sandwiches and cereal. At about that point, I started cooking for myself and my wife only, things that we like to eat and cook.Eventually, one kid said, "That smells really good, can I have some?" I said that I only made enough for the two of us, but if they'd like some of tomorrow's dinner, let me know and I can make extra. I was expecting "what's tomorrow's dinner" but instead I got, "yes, please, anything's better than more sandwiches."All of them eventually followed suit. I'm back to cooking for six, but I'm making whatever I want to make. If anyone has a problem with it, there's sandwiches or cereal. And surprisingly, sandwiches and cereal are being chosen very rarely.So the retirement didn't last long, but the temporary strike seems to have solved the problem that led to my premature retirement, so I'm good with it. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2SuRNUr

Child doesnt respond to traditional discipline of a reward system or of taking away privileges/toys/activities. Also is a TOTAL slob despite constant reminders/trouble. ...I grew up with abuse, so I don’t have any good parenting examples. I Need Advice!

Child (F/9.5) is a complete slob. Ie, once done eating immediately forgets to clean up. Wanders away (I suspect she has some attention deficit disorder but nothing confirmed. )Tried reward system but she forgets about it. Useless.Tried removing privileges/activities. She rebounds and forgets them. Useless.Tried removing all messes via a trash bag that she can ‘earn back’... she just created another mess, resulting in a second full trash bag (which are currently standing in the middle of my bedroom... because they are mostly Christmas gifts, and I canNOT throw out the gifts that people took the time and $ to purchase. I can’t do that to the family. They were gifts given out of love. I would feel horrible doing that, like shitting on the family’s hard earned money) . Useless.She is very defiant, even to her dad who she states is really scary.The Only thing that matters to her is her dance classes. But we’ve already reduced her dancing As punishment, and that was short lived. Ie, quickly forgotten.Dance is not an option to remove; She is extremely talented (skipping classes etc), and at this particular age it’s extra important for kids to hAve team activities and structure. I feel at this age she is getting a Huge developmental and skill benefit from dance. I can’t take her out , it would completely ruin her progress and set her behind her contemporaries forever. i am convinced that dance is the way to keep her relatively out of trouble as she approaches teen ageI know this seems silly to ask for advice on Reddit , but I just don’t know where to even stArt. And as I grew up abused, i know I can’t use the examples of how my parents handled problems such as this. I’m still traumatized and don’t want my daughter to live with that via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EU4UeM

Does anyone know where I can find this cloth book my 3 year old is obsessed with?

Hello, the wife and I bought this cloth book about 5 years ago at Halfprice Books. Since then our 3 year old has become obsessed with it, she always sleeps with it and even sniffs it when she is feeling stressed. The issue is we can not find another book like this one. We have tried scouring the internet without any luck and even emailed the company that published it. I was hoping someone out there might know where we could get another one for under $20.​We really don't want to find out what happens if the washing machine eats it or a dog decides its a new toy. Thanks for your any help you can provide!​Pics of the book in question via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EY8i8I

Anyone ever successfully made peace with their MIL?

I understand a lot of people will tell me to post this in JustNoMIL but I find if I do then a lot of the comments are just mean and not constructive advice. So, I am posting here.A little backstory: I have a 17 month old son and another boy on the way at the end of April. My MIL (husband's bio mom) moved in with us when my son was born so she could care for him when I went back to work 3 days a week. We thought it would be a really convenient and money saving decision for both sides.Unfortunately, his mother turned out to be an incredibly passive-aggressive and mean person. She constantly criticized me: where I put furniture in my home, the type of sheets I had on the guest bed, why I wasn't making my husband dinner every night of the week (and when I did, she would have a problem with what I was making), how I chose to breastfeed, how I chose to take care of my son...the list goes on.She is really good with my son even though she basically ignores my instructions. I physically had to hide the bottles when I wanted him to transition to a sippy cup, I had to hide his blankets because she would put him to sleep with a blanket over his face when he was just weeks old. Despite my problems with her, my son adores her and even cries when I take him away from her.We are selling our house and moving in the spring (close to my due date). She understands she is not coming with us. We have a small family so I want my son to have a relationship with her so I feel like I need to reconcile our differences and get over how she treats me. Has anyone successfully done this before? If so, how? I am having such a hard time with forgiveness right now. Every time I see her face or hear her voice I just feel so much rage. I can't even bear to make eye contact with her it stresses me out so much. Please help.Tl;dr: My MIL and I have serious problems. How do I make up with her so that I don't ruin the relationship she has with my son? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2BMJfRZ

Today I let my kid wear a cape shopping.

Today I argued with my 3 year old to get dressed. He downright refused to wear anything but his pajamas. Finally he went to his room to get dressed. He came out with jeans, a T-shirt, and a cape from his Halloween costume. I let him win this one. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2VmNYTt

[UPDATE]Considering waiting until birth to let everyone know about our triplets

So I read the comments for our last post and I totally agree with everyone that it is NOT a good idea. Considering this is my first pregnancy (older girls are adopted) and we had to use fertility treatment, this very well might be a high risk pregnancy. My husband was kinda bummed but understood where I was coming from. Now he’s saying he wants to do a surprise triplet gender reveal. We will know the gender in a few weeks so I think I could handle that.I would probably tell the girls a few days prior so it would be a better transition. He is still stuck on the idea of it all being a surprise, so I think this is probably the best solution. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2AlwayW

Our boundaries are being tested by both sides of our family

First: I’m on mobile so excuse my formatting issuesSecond: I’m not looking to cut our family off, just looking for some advice on how to deal with them.For a Christmas gift I arranged for my wife and I to take a trip from the 26th to the 29th. My in laws were with the kids and my sister ran my daughter around to a couple activities. We thought things would be ok. Until last night when we got home.I know on my first post I got a lot of flack for punishing our 7 year old for sneaking and hiding candy, well I should’ve been clear, she was sneaking and hiding chocolate which my 3 year old is highly allergic to along with dairy and he plays in her room sometimes with her and I don’t want him getting it. So we have a no chocolate rule in our house. Well once again my family ignores it and my sister sends my daughter home with a big bag of candy. We don’t don’t deprive my daughter of sweets, and we asked that no one really bring anymore candy because her stocking was full of it this year.My daughter learned from last time about not hiding it so she put it in the pantry. THE WHOLE BAG IS FILLED WITH CHOCOLATE! We struck up a deal with our daughter and said she could trade in the chocolate for different candy or a small toy and we thanked her for not hiding it. She traded it in for a trip to Kilwins since her and her brother can get stuff from there.Now for the worst one. My MIL is old school Jersey Italian and I love her, but she really tested me. Our 3 year old has been potty trained since he was 20 months old. He can verbally tell you “dad I wanna go potty” and yes, it can be annoying for him to announce it mid movie or on a long drive but hey man, little dude must go. Everyone in the family knows when he’s ready to go potty.... take him. Well my MIL seemed to not grasp this and decided she would just put him in pull-ups and go about life. She wanted to shop and his need to go potty must have “inconvenienced” her because he couldn’t hold it and shit in his pull up. When we got home last night she was pulling in the drive and he ran to my wife who noted he smelled like shit... literally... so she asked if he forgot to wipe and my MIL said “No he needs to be changed.” My wife and I were confused because he rarely has accidents. That’s when we learned he’s in a pull up and has been using them for the entire time we were gone. Luckily he has been adjusting back to regular underwear and potty practices just fine. But this was ridiculous. She claims that a pull up is just easier for on the go because he asks to potty every couple of hours and when at the mall that causes an issue.Maybe it’s holidays making me even crazier than normal but I’m living my sister disrespected us and sent chocolate to our house. Our kids have a great life and just because they can’t have chocolate doesn’t ruin it for them. And my son feels embarrassed for using a pull up and going potty on him self. We told him it’s not his fault and that he was still making us proud by asking to use the bathroom no matter what.I guess I’d just like to know the best ways to address this with each party.Thanks in advanceEDIT: I should add we definitely don’t do free childcare because we provided my in laws with our house to stay in we paid them $375 as well as covered any gas they needed and my sister drives my daughter every week to her after school events so we pay her $100.We pay because that reinforces what we expect from them. The kids know that just because grandma is watching them they abide by the set in stone rules in our house.And in the event we receive free childcare I would still expect our hygiene rules to be respected. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2AgNghx

He's only 29 and I don't know what to do

I just found out my son is a functioning alcoholic and bulimic...I am at a loss. I want to support him. He admits these things and says if it gets out of hand he will ask for help.....I already think it's out of hand. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2QUvUkK

12 year old struggling with accountability

Our middle school daughter has an excuse or can blame others for everything. We've never put up with it, but she's never learned. She's going to be dealing with puberty soon which in combination with be a nightmare. Examples: Not doing a homework assignment becomes my teacher misplaced it. (We don't even entertain this but even after it hasn't worked she reuses it). Being tardy to class becomes kids were walking slow in my way. Missing the bus was always the bus drivers fault. When she doesn't do her chores always an inventive excuse.We never give her an inch on the dishonesty or excuses. She can't say 'sorry I'll do it now'. When you catch her in a lie she screams that she wants a normal life. Or she will cry that she didn't so anything wrong. We've done lectures, confrontation, spanking, grounding, room confinement. She's always a victim of the punishment and her life just isn't fair.We want her to grow up to be a responsible adult any suggestions? This is our middle kid. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2Qc5uG1

What age is it no longer appropriate for me (her father) to be naked around my daughter ?

Pretty self explanatory, as the question above, but my daughter still sees me naked, when we go to the swimming and are getting changed, and sometimes in the shower at home, when is this no longer appropriate ? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2StboEu

Toddlers embarrassed us in the store and my wife got angry because I reacted

Just yesterday, my wife, our kids and I went to the store. We let our 12-year-old daughter go alone because she wanted to search for some snacks. We were left alone with our 5-year-olds. As we were walking, they grabbed things from the shelves and proceeded to pretend to read them, which is okay, nothing wrong with that.Next thing I know they are grabbing every single cereal box off of the shelf and dumping it on the floor. One of them hits the other on the head with a box, so she starts crying and people start turning around to see what's happening. My wife tries to calm her down and I yell at the other.After that, when we were paying, the daughter that hit her sister on the head grabs the bag and because it's heavy, she drops it and a jar breaks. We had to pay. In the car, I was yelling at my daughter for doing that while my wife was yelling at me. Our 12-year-old daughter was likely not aware of the yelling because she had her headphones on.My wife said that she's a kid who needs to be taught behavior in public places in a calm way and that all kids do that, (I saw plenty of younger kids in the store and none did that) but how could I be calm if she repeatedly hit her sister on the head with a box?I seriously need advice on how to deal with this in the future. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2Qe1Xae

Can my mother put my son’s father on child support?

I (20s), live with my mom and I have a son. I take care of him and buy him things. His father buys essentials for our son too. However, my mom feels like she buys everything for our son, which she does on her own well. I never ask her to buy toys or clothes. Now she is upset and threatening to file for child support, on my behalf. I’m against this because my sons father struggles with money already. He gives what he can when he can and I am fine with that. Help? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2TdfQr0

My daughter (2) misses her terrible Aunt.

(Really long. Sorry. TL-DR: My SIL keeps throwing away my daughter's shoes. Tired of the disrespect for my parenting, I've cut contact. But my 2 year old misses her and is breaking my heart.)My sister-in-law is really self absorbed and narcissistic and really just a chore for me to be around. She constantly says hurtful things without having a clue as to how she sounds to the person she's taking to. The example that sticks out most for me is when she called me panicking because my mom didn't answer the phone. I told her I had just spoken to Mom an hour before, she was packing for a trip and likely too busy to answer the phone. SIL responded, "But it's me. She doesn't ignore my calls." As if SIL is more important to my mom than any of her biological children or anyone else she knows! I've never had a conversation with SIL where she didn't drop some minor but hurtful line like that. But she's good with small children and my daughter loves her, so I bit my tongue and let it go.In October, SIL decided I don't know how to buy shoes for my child. After a visit with SIL, my daughter came home in a new pair of shoes a size and a half too big. The next time I saw SIL I asked where the old shoes were and she said she'd thrown them away. I explained that the shoes she had bought were to big and asked her to consult me in the future about such things. Then I let it go because we were at my mom's birthday party.A few weeks later, SIL was picking my daughter up to babysit her. She wanted the shoes she had bought. I told her again that those shoes were too big. She snapped at me that she's taken a parenting class and knows about shoes so just go get them. Since I was already ten minutes late for work by the time she'd even showed up to pick up my child, I gave her the shoes and avoided an argument.The day before Thanksgiving, SIL picked my daughter up from daycare and kept her overnight. When I went to take her home, she once again had new shoes. And when I asked for the old ones, once again, she'd thrown my child's shoes in the trash. At that point I'd had enough. In less than polite terms, I explained how I'd had my daughter's feet professionally measured in real shoe stores three times since this started, and every time she's been a 5 1/2. That SIL clearly didn't know as much as she thinks she does. And that she wouldn't be spending any more time around my daughter. She stood in front of her door refusing to let me leave until I apologized and yelling at me to put my daughter down so she could fight me. My brother had to pull her away so I could get out of there.Needless to say, I haven't gone back there and she hasn't babysat my daughter. But for the last week, little girl has been periodically crying and begging, "I wanna go to auntie's house." It breaks my heart and I have no idea what to say to her. I don't want to tell my daughter something bad about someone she loves so much. But I cannot let SIL be around my daughter unsupervised. And I cannot be around SIL without it getting ugly. Two days ago I finally cracked and told my daughter, "We can't go to auntie's house because auntie is mean to mommy." She hasn't asked to go since then, but I'm really not sure if I did the right thing.I don't know if I need advice, or just ranting. But this has been eating me up. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EVR5vE

Pre-Menopausal With Little Kids

I am about to turn 40. My mom keeps telling me that I am in the early/pre stages of menopause. She started at 40. I find myself irrationally angry and frustrated at pretty much any inconvenience/frustration to my life. Innocuous things my children (2M and 5F) do, that I should be able to get over, drive me insane. It causes me to become irritated with my husband. For the most part, he handles me incredibly well. He lets me vent when I need and lets me throw the occasional pity party for myself. However, this further makes me feel bad because he’s handling me and the kids and I feel like a useless crazy person. In the middle of being angry/frustrated I am aware that I’m doing it but I can’t always make myself stop. When I do, it turns into horrible guilt and sadness.I wonder if I’d feel differently if I had kids younger. Before I got so set in my ways. Before I had money and realized how much I wanted to do in life. Before I became I hormonal mess.I’m not really seeking advice, though I wouldn’t turn it down. I might just be venting or seeking confirmation that I’m not alone. I feel out of control and often like a bad parent.Adulting sucks!! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2SrvWgJ

Enforcing home rules at other homes...

It comes up every year at the holidays. We'll be visiting relatives with kids at similar ages to our own and they will have very different home rules. The ones that came up today were about telling and interrupting.At my sister in laws house, it is acceptable for their kids to start yelling "Mommy Mommy Mommy!" At the top of their voice while two adults are talking. And their mom will just ignore them, pick up her own voice, and finish her own sentence and then calmly turn to the kid and say "yes dear? What do you want?"Now, I'm really not paying here looking for people to judge my sister in laws parenting. I love her and her kids. The problem is that, after some time at their house, my kids start doing the same stuff even though it is strictly forbidden at our home and they are very good about following that rule.So what do you do? I'm obviously not going to scold their children. But scolding just my children, especially in front of the other parents, seems passive aggressive.At the same time, I feel weird just letting my kids misbehave when they are at someone else's house... via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EVNxdD

Remember this Rents. Your child only has one childhood.

Saw this sign (Your child only has one childhood) hanging in a consignment shop and I tried buying it. Cashier said it wasn’t for sale. I asked why. She said, “it’s a reminder too parents that kids are kids” ...May this help you all. Fuck being neat. Fuck their pants getting dirty. Fuck the flinging of food. Fuck the holes in their brand new pants. Fuck it if they want to go out without a jacket. Fuck everything that you think you should monitor. Fuck it if they only want shitty boxed mac-n-cheese 8 nights a week. Fuck it if they jump in puddles in their brand new shoes. Fuck it if they get s’mores all over them. Fuck it if they decorate the tree in a fashion you don’t like. Fuck the tree, it’s about them, not you. Fuck what your parents think. Fuck everything, but your children’s childhood.Sorry, not a rant, just an FYI. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2RmmNsv

Struggling with the idea of having a second baby

I always loved the idea of having more then one baby.. ideally I wanted two and maybe even three. I am very fortunate to be able to stay at home to take care of my son while my husband works. After my first baby was born back in May I am having a hard time thinking about a second child. Raising him has been nothing but pure joy. Of course we had the struggles.. lack of sleep and always tired.. even now he still wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes but I love it. I love being a mom and every minute of it.Now my struggle is not being a mom.. like I stated I love it. My struggle is how much I love my son. When I was pregnant I loved him so much but when he was born that love evolved into something much bigger. He became the world to me and I will do everything in my power to raise him to be a kind and thoughtful person and try my best to make sure he lives a happy life. It was truly unconditional love. I want nothing but the best for him too.. my problem is I'm scared that he would be my "favorite". If I do have another child I would try my best to love him/her just as I do my son. I don't want to play favorites or have one but I'm scared I will. I will try to make everything fair but sometimes you can just be blinded and not notice.Did anyone ever feel like this? What happened when your second child was born or did you not have one? Any and all advice is welcomed. Thank you for taking your time and reading this post! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2CGVMYV

Today my toddler ate her poop.

We've all heard the horror stories of finger painting gone wrong with poopy diapers, we've all said "it wont happen to me" well I can't say that anymore.My 15 month old sleeps in her bed on my side of the room, I somehow felt her presence awake and opened my eyes just in time to see her put her grubby little fingers in her mouth then shiver like she was eating a lemon. Before I could fully grasp what was happening and stop her, she got another little piece and did it again, made the same face and went back for more. By now I'm fully awake and yelling "babe babe shes eating her shit help me" which thankfully startled her enough to not go for that third scrumptious bite.No I did not take pictures, and shes fine, no adverse side effects, she has been scrubbed down and her teeth have been thoroughly brushed. I'll never put her to bed without a snapped onesie again. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EYPLc4

Im at my wits end with my daughter and I don't know what to do.

My 3 year old is horrible. I really don't know what to do. She hits me, kicks the dog, I caught her trying to push the cat down the stairs, shes mean to her older sister, shes just mean. I try everything, I can be kind and explain it, I can shout and scream, she just ignores everything I say. I sat her down on my lap today and explained that her behaviour was just not on and was making me and daddy sad when she acted that way. She farted and smiled at me and then carried on being horrible. I am just going crazy, I am constantly stressed and it was not like this at all with her older sister. I don't know what else I can try and I am ashamed and feel like a terrible mother. Often when it is just me and her during the day she is sweet and polite, but as soon as she has an audience of even her dad or sister she is a totally different child. She's very smart for her age, I know everyone says that and every kid is in their own way but you'd never believe she was 3 because she is so advanced. I've been working so much recently as we've just got a new cottage that is costing us a fortune, so I feel very guilty for that because I'm often giving her to her grandad for the day and she says she misses me and doesn't want me to go to work. It is her birthday tomorrow and I've spent all day today yelling and her and giving her time out (I feel terrible). It's effecting the whole family because every activity is ruined by her mean behaviour. Does anyone have any advice for me? Anything would be appreciated... I feel like I'm going to pop. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2ESq7VQ

Asshole kids

I took my son to softplay today. He’s not even two but looks much older for his age. I’m clear with him about good and bad behaviour and so many parents were excellent and doing the same. But two boys pushed his head back and then later he thought it was a game. They started hitting him. He again thought it was a game as he never experienced that before. Then he played with other kids. After a big 5 year old went over and slapped him because he was playing in the group. She then shoved another girl down the slide and squeezed the face of an 18month old. Later my son went back and she shoved him. He thought she is playing as he doesn’t experience this anywhere else. He of course had a tantrum when I tried to move him away. I told her it’s not kind to which she shouted “I am kind”. Can anyone help me out. How do you deal with little shits who hit your kid at softplay and their parents couldn’t give a shit or don’t tell off their kids until it’s gone too far. My son didn’t cry or get put off playing because he didn’t know they were being little shits so I know that his feelings were not hurt. But still it will happen again and I was upset about it. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2Rm5cAX

My little one has got the RS-virus, the first time she's really sick

My baby (I'll call her CL), now 4.5 months old, has been coughing since she started at day-care when she was just 11 weeks old. I know not many things are certain in life, but the fact that your child will catch something new at day-care every week is one of the facts of life. That is fine by me, she will get stronger eventually. CL's a very happy and easy going baby, she only cries when she's hungry or tired and I'm not fast enough for her liking. So I know something's wrong when she cries.Since yesterday her cough became more serious. CL began wheezing like she was out of breathe. I thought nothing of it at first because she has been testing her vocal cords the last few days. Which means she has been screaming for most of the time, out of pure joy I might add. So I thought she had a sore throat, I would if I was her.Today CL started to cry inconsolable every time I put her to bed. Like she was in pain. So this triggered me to call our local general practice center. They wanted to see her because they heard her wheezing through the phone.When we got there it was very busy so I prepared myself for a long evening.. luckily the assistent gave CL's case priority. Within a few minutes the doctor could see us. CL was happy as always, surprisingly because she was missing her nap. After a few test the doctor told me she's got the RS-virus.For now it isn't too serious, but we have to keep a close eye on her. This is the first time that she's really sick, a side from the usual stomach cramps. CL's sleeping now but I keep checking up on her. I feel terrible for her because there's nothing we can do. She's too young for real medicin but we got some nasal drops for baby's. I hope it won't get worse and that she will get better soon. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2GM211A

15 y o daughter does nothing all day

DD has had health issues for 1.5 years now - dizziness, nausea, fatigue, headaches. I’ve taken her to every specialist I can think of, including 2 different neurologists, psychiatrist, nerve disorder specialist, 2 audiologists, plus the paediatric department of a very well known hospital that treats children. We now know she doesn’t have Menieres, Ehlers-Danlos, POTS, hearing issues, balance issues, any neurological diseases, nor heart rhythm problems. Waiting on an echocardiogram appt in January.As a result of these very vague but annoying/debilitating symptoms (depends on the day), she doesn’t attend regular school. She is home schooled because the pace of 5-day per week school is currently too much for her, plus she has many doctor appointments and would miss a lot of classes anyway. Last year she didn’t get all of her credits because of absences. No matter how intelligent you are, if you miss 2-3 days of school per week, you won’t be able to keep up with everything.2 different doctors have now told her to get up and outside the house for at least 10 mins per day, eat regular meals even if she isn’t hungry, and try to be out of her bedroom more. She is in her room sleeping or just laying there for 20 out of 24 hours. She doesn’t eat much because of her nausea. She doesn’t have an eating disorder, we have looked into it.Maybe this isn’t the right subreddit. I know no one can diagnose her and I’m not asking for that. I guess I’m just venting. She’s taking me down with her. I’ve been trying SO hard to find out what is wrong with her. I’ve set up a weekly appointment for her with a social worker starting in January and I hope that will help. She resists all of my suggestions and often says I’m not helping her, which is patently false.DD’s dad is out of the picture but that’s a story for another day. I am remarried for nearly 10 years to a wonderfully supportive man. He is very involved with my kids and always has been. He is not the problem.DD has friends. She socializes online mostly but sometimes in person when they visit her. She and I talk honestly with each other. I’m at my wits’ end. It feels good just to type this and organize my thoughts.Edited to add: she is on a low dose of anti depressants because the psychiatrist (and stepdad and I) believe she is depressed. These meds have helped A LOT, but she is far from ok. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EXZsYx

My ten year old daughter came home from school saying she kissed a boy in her class?!

I don’t know if this is entirely true or not but yesterday, my daughter, who is ten, came home from school jumping around the house saying she kissed a boy in her class ON THE LIPS!! Both her and the boy have been best friends since daycare and they both are in the fourth grade.She walked in the door all happy and jumping around so I asked “Why are you so cheerful today?” She looked at me and said “you can’t tell anyone ok daddy?” I said “yeah sure, my lips are sealed”. She whispered in my ear “I kissed (boys name) at recess today”. I immediately look at her and said “wait what, on the lips?” She said “yes he let me”.I told her she was to young for that and to wait until she was older to start kissing boys. But she still won’t listen, she thinks she’s old enough to kiss boys even though my wife and I said no you’re not. This boy she has known for a while, probably ever since they where like two or three. I just can’t believe my kid would do that 😂😂😂. Any advice? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2SsifOP

How to get my daughter to be more patient with her little cousins?

My sister's husband's passed away in the spring, and I have been trying to help her as much as I can, which includes hosting her two daughters, ages 7 and 5, for weekend sleepovers about 2 or 3 times a month. My nieces are active and rambunctious, but they aren't bad girls, and they practically worship my daughter, who is 10. But my daughter's early interest in these frequent sleepovers has morphed into annoyance and now hostility. She is constantly enforcing rules on them that no one else cares about, yelling at them for "destroying" (read: leaving out) her stuff, and avoiding/hiding from them.My husband lost his dad when he was 8, so he is infuriated by our daughter's lack of empathy for her cousins. We have both explained to her that we need her to be patient, generous, and kind to her cousins. She cries and apologizes, and then it happens again. She has a younger brother, but he's only 14 months younger, so she is used to sharing space with a kid who, a) doesn't play with her girly toys, and b) is close enough in age that the big kid/little kid dynamic doesn't exist between them.I'm at a loss as to how to handle this. Please advise. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2TgthXq