Well, I thought Halloween with my teen daughter was a good idea.

So, as background my daughter and I haven't always been close. She has ODD (Opposition Defiant Disorder) which has always made our relationship..well hard and good moments or events are very special to me because they historically are rare. Anyway, she's a high school freshman and it seems emotional maturity has helped and we have been getting along much better. For example, she's able to talk through stress and anxiety 50% of the time rather than shutting down completely. Anyway, tonight was the first time she wasn't going trick-or-treating which is a bummer, the end of childhood and all.We went to Target to get cupcake explosion supplies and I got her some mark-down stuff. I am usually a homemade baker so even though it seems weird buying a box cake and pre-made frosting is a rarity for us. When she was younger she hated that I made every cake and baked good but I was trying to mitigate her symptoms with diet (now that she's a teenager in high school she eats crap every day and it doesn't seem to matter much). We spent over an hour in Target and had a lot of fun. Once we came home my husband made some homemade pizza and all the interactions were great. She decided to sit on the front porch and hand out candy so I asked if I could join her. We ate dinner together watching best of Vines on her phone and handed out candy. We had a good 2 hours of fun interaction. It was great and I felt awesome having an easy mom/daughter night.Once we finished the candy though she just shut down and retreated to her room - which is normal when she feels overwhelmed. I knocked and tried to talk to her, she was kind and understandably upset because she spent Halloween with her mom instead of with her friends. I know that is normal and I'm happy she was able to express her feelings clearly and calmly. I guess I'm bummed. Like I said, our relationship is complex and difficult and I'm so aware that my time with her before she's out in the world is waning - I feel selfish and so sad that at this moment our time together wasn't meaningful to her.Full disclosure: I'm new @ reddit and I 'think' this is the correct place to post this. I'm honestly not looking for sympathy just needed to get it out of my head. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eu4hbd

Stupid Question Regarding 1YO Son

My son recently turned 1, went through the brunt of teething a few months ago. He was finally sleeping soundly, but occasionally he will wake up crying in pain... My wife assumes it is still teething and will give him a small dose of children's Advil. He woke up crying tonight- I went to change his diaper and noticed he had an erection. Is it possible morning wood is a source of my son's crying? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f7toBR

Son's friends are telling me he is bullying them; nervous to bring it up with him. Advice?

This my first post here so please be a little patient. Just a little background:My wife of twelve years and I live in Washington state and our son is in the 4th grade at a pubic elementary school.My wife seems to be able to deal with private conversations with our son much better than I've ever been able to. I don't have a short temper, but needless to say I have a lot to worry about with work and sometimes I'm just not all there; physically and mentally for him. This year I made a pact to try to spend as much of my time off as possible with him: go to the park, watch movies with him, etc.A few days ago (Saturday) my son and his two male friends came over. Let's call them Joseph and Tommy. They've both been at our house before multiple times, but we've never met their parents. My son and Tommy were in our backyard playing soccer, during which I was in the kitchen reading some files from work. i made the usual small talk with the boys, but Joseph came in to use the bathroom. After he came back out I could sense he was hesitating a bit and I looked over. I asked him if everything was alright and he kind of sulked, looking down.I realized it was serious and that's when he unloaded everything on me. Joseph told me for about 10 straight minutes, crying midway through, that my son has been acting very inappropriately and teasing him in front of his other friends at school. Not casual haha teasing, really nasty and disgusting stuff. Suff like "you're gay; your hair looks like an ice cream cone of shit; you're not going to play soccer with us anymore you toad".This is all disturbing to me and I haven't brought it up with my son yet. Should I speak to him first, or Joseph's parents? How would you approach this? Please any advice is appreciated. Thanks! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dWWnuK

My wife has a [19F] teen who doesn't do anything or leave the house. Locks her bedroom door. Won't answer or open it when my wife tries to talk to her. This has been going on for several months now.

I just got married last May. My wife whom I've known for 25 years before we started dating and got engaged moved here from Mexico with her 18 year old and 12 year old daughters. She asked the 18 year old if she wanted to join us in California, or stay home in Mexico, get a job and start living on her own. She opted to join her mother here. So my wife and her daughters joined me here last April. The plan was that her 18 year old would go to college and probably get a part time job to give her some income. Since we got here, she just stays in her room all the time. She never leaves the room. Her behavior has been getting worse and worse. Now she's even shushing her mom, she won't unlock and open her bedroom door when her mother addresses her. I had a talk with the daughter, with her mother present, and I told her it's time for her to start taking classes, get a job or both. That she's 19 years old now and it's up to her to start making decisions for herself. We took her to an adult education center where she was supposed to sign up for English classes, we told her she needed to do it. Well...- I found out to day that she never signed up for the classes. I told my wife it's time to give her the choice, go out tomorrow and start looking for a job or school, or I buy her a bus ticket back to her country. She has know where to go or live, her Grandparents and her Brother already said they have no room for her at their house and so she really has no options. I just don't get her behavior. She has no problems using my internet, water, gas, eating the food I buy and she just won't leave the house or make an effort. I guess my questions is threatening to kick her out too much? Am I going to far? What would you recommend? TL;DR 19 year old step daughter never leaves the house, never leaves her room, doesn't have a job, doesn't go to school, aimless and no motivation, and now she's getting sassy with her mother. What do I do? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dWTPwl

Is it possible to be a mother with no maternal instinct?

Hi Reddit,I'm a first time poster so apologies I'm not sure of all the acronyms that get used on here! I was hoping I could get a little random advice on a topic that's been bothering me for a while now.Basically I'm a 25, a female and have had absolutely zero exposure to children/babies/siblings/people younger than me in general. I'm still the baby I've my entire family, I'm a tomboy so have no female friends to babysit for or talk with.What I'm starting to wonder is if I could ever be a good mother in the future if my partner and I wanted kids. I've been told by my own mother I'm not very maternal and I'm unlikely to have any but I was never given the opportunity to practice the way other girls do growing up ie looking after siblings, dolls etc.I know my partner would make an excellent father one day if he wanted but I'm worried I would let the side down by being hopeless at it. I was hoping to get responses from absolutely anyone who felt similar, or could advise, guys or girls?Is there anyone out there without a maternal bone in their body but had a child and found they could make a good parent? I find myself thinking of all the educational and fun places I would take my child but I'm starting to get worn down by all the comments I get telling me it's not for me.Thanks Reddit and sorry for the length of this post! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eVkE19

Well, turns out I broke my 1yo daughter's jaw.

You know those plastic little tikes swings, with the swing-up bar and over-the-shoulder straps? I'm sure nobody thinks it's a good idea to let your kids swing unbuckled, but here's a story demonstrating the thrilling possibilities.We had another family over for dinner on Friday the 21st. The two moms left for a church ladies retreat, leaving two dads and 4 kids. My 1yo and the other 7yo girl are mutually enamored with each other. The 7yo helped my daughter into the swing and "buckled" her in. Cute little pushes ensued, without incident.My daughter is a bit of a thrill seeker so asked to be pushed "fast!" So, without checking her buckles, I pulled her up over my head, pushed her down, and out she came. The overall effect was much like I picked her up over my head and body-slammed her facedown on the concrete.At first I thought I had killed her...then the screaming and bleeding started. Split chin, pools of blood in her mouth, at least two chipped teeth, and an obviously crooked bite were what I noticed immediately. Off to the urgent care! They stitched up her chin, checked her jaw (not broken, they said) and sent us home.We went to the doctor on Monday just so they could check the gashes in her mouth and make sure everything was healing OK. They recommended we see a pediatric dentist about the misalignment. They checked her jaw and joints and again, said it wasn't broken. The dentist agreed - not broken, joints swell and make things go out of alignment. She said let's wait a week for things to heal up a little, then take some x-rays to be sure. The rest of last week was fine. Her stitches came out, bruising all went away, her bite was even looking a little bit less crooked.We went for the x-rays today. Broken jaw, right between her lower right canine and lateral incisor. Off to the oral surgeon we go, tomorrow afternoon.Anybody else dealt with jaw injuries/surgeries with toddlers? I'm kind of a wreck...couldn't even go 5 minutes on my own without seriously injuring one of my kids. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f2quRf

Worried About Daycare

For all those parents overly worried about their child in daycare, this is an anecdotal story from the woman who manages my son's daycare. They offer video cameras of all the rooms and spaces that parents can login to and watch anytime (even overnight).One mother called and emailed upset because she believed her son was spending way too much time in timeout. He was sitting with a toy and looking at a poster on the wall for what she believed was at least 10-15 minutes past what would make sense.The daycare director went to speak to the classroom teachers. They stated that whenever they told him timeout was over, he would say "okay, I'll just finish what I'm doing here first." He would sit in timeout even after they told him it was over because he was playing by himself and not done yet.The daycare director called the mother and told her what she'd learned. The mom became very quiet before saying "Oh my goodness, I'm so ridiculous. He does the same thing at home!"But the daycare director was really glad that the mother had voiced her concerns (however crazy), because if she hadn't, she would have seethed and internalized and would never have known that her kid was actually being pretty awesome. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f66gDD

23 Month Boy: Understands words and sentences, but is not using many words: Should I worry?

My 23 month old boy Grant seems to understand a lot of words and sentences. I tell him to get his baby brother a toy; he does. I tell him to grab my ps4 controller, he does. It is evident he 'clearly' understands what I am saying however he really only says Mama, dada, doggy, car, and Uh Oh.Should I worry? My mother said don't worry because if he clearly understands, then he may just be a late bloomer.Opinions? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dVEaxk

RANT - Daughter wants to go home because kids are making fun of her costume

Rant incoming!Ever since watching The Force Awakens my 10 year old daughter has been fascinated with Rey and she knew she wanted to dress up as her for Halloween. It's a pretty simple costume but we added some accessories (we made the belt together) to spruce it up. I even took the time to learn how to do her hair since I knew that her mom would be working today. She was so excited to go to school dressed up and she even asked if she could bring on of my lightsabers since Rey had on at the end of the movie. I sadly had to tell her no so she settled on bring her staff. Here's a pic we took last night when she was trying everything on.Rey with Luke's lightsaberI get a text from her and she says that everyone is making fun of her costume. "Are you a mummy? Are you an explorer? Are you wearing toilet paper?" No one recognized her and when she tried to explain who she was they just looked at her like she was a crazy person and continued to make fun of her. It got to the point where she asked me if she could just go home. We texted a bit more and i told her that as long as she's happy with her costume that's all that matters and to try to just ignore the comments. She then texts me this:http://ift.tt/2fa4DUc love her reply and proud about her attitude about it but it also makes me a bit sad that she had to ask "is it because he's a boy?" Now this is the geeky side talking but Rey is arguable the star of the damn movie. She's a female character in the lead who doesn't need rescuing or saving. The other kid is apparently dressed up as Kylo Ren but in the movie Rey kicked his ass! ERG!Now my daughter just started this school as we recently moved. It's a very good and highly rated school but the majority of the families that go to this school are very...uppity. A lot of the kids act like entitled, privileged brats with no manners and no respect. We moved to the area thinking we could provide a better life for our kids but I'm really starting to regret the move. It would be one thing if the rudeness was a one-time thing but it happens quite a bit according to my daughter. We don't step in and we try to try to encourage her to ignore it. As long as she's happy with who she is then that's all that matters, etc, but this is the first time she's asked to go home even though she ultimately said she'll deal. I'm a bit stuck as to what to do. I don't want to seem like an overprotective parent because some kids didn't like her Halloween costume but I'm also partly tempted to pull the race card because I think these entitled little shits should learn some manners.UGH. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2es1lff

What age to take child trick or treating?

My daughter is 17 months old and we were wondering if we should take her trick or treating tonight? She already has a costume so that's no problem. We were thinking of maybe doing a few houses on our street but I'm not sure since she will not eat much of the candy(maybe one chocolate bar). We also aren't handing our candy since we have 2 large dogs that go crazy when anyone is near the home and our daughter will be asleep around 7:30. When did you take you little ones trick or treating for the first time? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dVDxUD

I am an introvert and am struggling as a parent. Any tips or suggestions?

Man, I am really struggling!Background: I have two kids, both young, in school.School has been something I have struggled with it since September and I feel like it just gets harder, and I worry that my lack of "mom socializing" is negatively impacting my kids, especially my son (6).I feel exhausted all the time trying to keep up. Another mom said they had FOUR birthday parties this past weekend. FOUR! It takes all my energy to make it one. The regular moms have playdates everyday of the week, rotating homes, plus are on every committee you could imagine. I feel obligated to stand with them when I do drop-off and pickup and we are friendly, but it's like this who world of Mom-hood that I not only can't penetrate, but don't want to. I do try to attend things (last week I went to a CEM), I volunteered in the class a few times, but it exhausts me.But I don't want my (extroverted) son feeling left out. When he asks, we stay for playtime, and he has fun, though he does play alongside then, as aside from with them, probably because he isn't around them as much.We have little to no family where we live, so we are used to just hanging out as our immediate family. I find the pressure of interacting and keeping up with being a SAHM with school age(d) kids. Has any other introverted person experienced this? How did you make it all work? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f17H8Q

Multiple adults involved in raising daughter

There are currently 6 adults that at any time are responsible in some aspect for my daughter (including my wife and self) As the father, I'm not always home as I'm working but witnessing my daughter start the terrible two tantrum phase, I'm concerned too many cooks in the kitchen might be a problem for calming tantrums and keeping control.Does anyone here have some experience with that? Background is:My family and I have recently relocated to Korea to be close to my in laws for some familial support as our family has gone from 3 to 4 members (daughter 2 and son 2 months). We are currently living in a large apartment with my in laws that consists of my father in law, mother in law, sister in law and my wife's aunt who stays with us 4 days out of each week. Also included is my wife and myself. Most involved with the raising of my daughter are all but my father in law. He works long hours and is rarely home but my daughter loves him very much and is often super clingy to him. It's mainly my wife, mother in law, and wife's aunt. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eMw6ya

I've created an 8 month old nap monster with a bad habit. Help!

My daughter is 8 months old and is an excellent sleeper at night. She's been sleeping through the night since 3 months old. Goes down easy at 8pm wakes up 630-7am.During the day, she will not nap in the crib. Only in the car seat or the rock and play. She'll fall asleep quickly in either of these and stay asleep for an hour to two hours. If I try to put her in the crib, I do so while she's drowsy after a bottle. The second she touches the crib she's electrified with energy. I let her stay for 10 mins by herself and it never works. If she does fall asleep, it is never more than 20 minutes.Without the good naps she gets very fussy by about 4pm. I'm trying to break the habit but assuming I can get her sleeping in the crib at all, 20 minutes isn't enough. She's going to outgrow those clutches soon.At night and nap time there's white noise and blackout curtains. Someone help please! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f4Y2Mr

Weekly - Stories from the week/end - October 31, 2016

This weekly thread is meant as a place to share stories that happened to us as parents over the weekend. Share good, bad, fun, not fun, etc. Also, if you ever wonder who we are, click here to meet the mod team! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2e5bCwM

Wooden Xylophone recommendation?

I wanted to get the baby a xylophone, they're still way too young for it but I want to have it ready for when I think their fine motor skills can handle it.I want one where the notes are actually in tune but I don't want the letters written on them or anything because in my husbands words "having perfect pitch can ruin music for a person" and I'd worry that if they had the note associated with the letter from a really young age they might develop it.Also for my own sanity I want it to sound nice, that's why I want a wooden one, I'd like a nice soft round woody tone not a horrible tinny metal tone. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eM3Bkq

What to do for 2 yr old twins napping problem?

So my guys are two and for about a month now I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do/ what they need. All they do when I try to put them down for a nap most days is play/ talk to each other during that time. Then there are days they do lay down but don't actually nap. Then I got days where they do nap but when they wake up they are little demons screaming nonstop for idk an hr maybe longer somedays. They seem to still need their nap because last 2 days one is falling asleep when he's almost done with supper. They are usually ready for bed by at least 7 but we try for 6-6:30 most nights. They wake up around 6-6;40 most mornings. Any suggestions? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eqCx7c

Halloween treats and safety.

As a non-US citizen who celebrated Halloween this Saturday with my kids for the first time, I'm curious on guidelines regarding free candy given to children.I've read elsewhere kids should never accept candy where the wrapper isn't sealed, but Im not sure this is a failsafe method.Could someone perhaps share their rules/precautions and advice?Thanks! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2e4lua1

Husband (24 wants a child within the next two years, I'm (23 almost 24) not so sure /life after stillbirth

My college sweetheart and I have been together for 3.5 years and known one another for 5. A month after graduating college from (June 2015) I found out that I was pregnant due to failed contraception. I panicked as I was starting grad school that fall but eventually I came around to the crazy idea that I would have a little minion. Well, October 31, 2015 (yes, almost exactly a year ago) I woke up at six months pregnant and couldn't feel my baby. We found out the next day that our daughter died from what seemed to be a cord accident. Needless to say, we were absolutely devastated. It has only been within the past two months or so that I've started to feel like an actual person. We got a puppy in April (she's now almost a year) and I can say she's brought me back to life in so many ways. I look forward to coming home to her and spending time with her. On the opposite end, I feel like my husband is finally starting to feel our loss and as a result has baby fever. Don't get me wrong--our relationship is solid; however, I basically spent a year blaming myself for my baby's death (even though it was natural occurrence), trying to figure out where I went wrong and my life, and cursing the irony that is my life. After all, children weren't really on my radar and by the time I adjusted and got really excited, she was gone. It didn't help that my oldest sister and I were due days apart. She went on to have a healthy son, meanwhile all I have are ashes in world's smallest urn tucked out of sight, out of mind. Oh, two major things that I should mention: he wants two children. I can definitely deal with 1 but 2 makes me scared. We live far away from family so there would be a question of considering overpriced childcare or working opposite shifts. Financially we are doing fine with just the two of us but uhh it's just us and a dog so yeah....I suggested we get another dog and he looked at me like I was crazy. Also, I will be honest that I feel young even though I am extremely responsible and my lifestyle is far from wild but I guess...I was starting to adjust to my new normal and even if it is 2-3 years away, it still feels like soon? Am I being crazy? Sorry for the rambling and typos. I'm trying to navigate my tablet ( I usually use my laptop so this is not working out to well) WHILE being all in my feelings about the anniversary of our daughter. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eSTaZI

Missing out on Trick or Treating?

I'm not sure I can handle taking my kids trick-or-treating this year. My husband got hurt at work the Friday before last and I'm trying my best but I'm extremely stressed. I have very extreme anxiety and a few other issues. We are going to be out almost a whole month's pay because he already had reduced hours earlier in the month because the company he works for didn't have enough work to give everyone in my husband's position 40 hours. Among other injuries my husband has a bad concussion and he isn't the same person anymore. I'm struggling to keep everything together and I barely manage when everything is normal.We had a tiny bit in savings and I just used almost all of it to pay our November rent. I don't have enough to cover the rest of the bills for November. I can't get a job because my husband cannot watch the children. So my stress level is very very high.I love Halloween. It's my favorite holiday out of the entire year. It the best holiday because neighbors open their doors give to young children straight from the kindness of their hearts. In my opinion halloween is way better than Christmas. I don't care about spooky stuff or getting scared. I just want to dress up in a costume and be anything I want to be. Then I get CANDY! At least that's what the child in me feels. Most other holidays make me feel sad. I want my children to love halloween just the same way that I do. But this year I'm just not functioning. It's almost 1:00 in the morning and I can't sleep because my anxiety is so high. Is it right to rob my children of a holiday just because I'm having a difficult time? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dUkOsv

I'm a night shift dad that has a super fussy 5week old boy. First kid. Any advice?

Man oh man, I love my son to death and have enjoyed being a father so much (it's such a good feeling) I work nights as a nurse and my wife is currently at the end of school. We're very busy people, luckily we have lots of family to help with our schedule. But I need some advice on this fussy baby. I usually watch him after work in the morning until about 1pm and he is just super fussy. Nothing seems to make him happy. Apparently this is the same for everyone and he just started this about a week ago. You feed him, burp him, he seems content. Then about 5minutes rolls by and he fusses for an hour straight with no remorse. Gas drops haven't helped. My wife plays some kind of white noise video that doesn't help. Any advice will be beneficial to this new dad! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f455EL

I'm raising my little brother as our mother abandoned us. Now she's back and upset that he doesn't call her "mom".

I'm 31 and my brother is 15. When I was 19 and him only 3 years old our mother left us telling us that she needs to go soul searching after our father had died. She said it will take only a few weeks. She left, after a few weeks she called and said she needs a couple of months. She disappeared and we never heard from her again.I continued to take care of my brother. After a few years I petitioned to legally adopt him and I was granted that. It was very difficult but after a few years we were doing ok and I didn't want our mother to show up and screw with our lives. Both me and my brother who was just a little boy felt serious abandonment as we lost our father and our mother left us. But we had each other.Recent years has been good. I'm now married and my husband has a great relationship with my brother and my brother and I have our own relationship which is somewhere in the middle of being mother-son and older sister and little brother. We're all happy with things.However our mother had reappeared in the past few months. Apparently her soul searching is finally over and she came to me to "collect" her son and start a "mother-daughter" relationship with me. She felt like everything will be just as they were when she left us.Needless to say she was upset about the adoption. She was also mad that I was married (what the hell...) and brought a man into my brother's life.So she talked to him and he wasn't enthusiastic. She said she's his mom but he said she's not. Their conversation got a little heated and at one point my brother told her that she's just the person who popped her out and nothing more. My mother pointed at me and said I haven't taught him manners (yeah...), she said he has to be disciplined but I intervened and told her that I'm the only person who gets to make decisions about disciplining him and told her to leave our house.I don't know what my mother has been up to all these years but I won't allow her to just come and make decisions for him like that. I don't want to be a complete asshole to her either, or deny her a chance to start over but I need the right way to navigate this issue making sure that my brother is kept safe and protected. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dRWngG

Milestones: First time accused of kidnapping my child.

I brought my 3.5 year old son with me today to go shopping for food before football starts. We were picking up some snacks and he wanted a ball. We have about 350 million balls at the house, so I told him no. Because he is 3.5, he decided to throw a tantrum in the middle of the store. I tried to pick him up to bring him outside so we didn't disturb the other shoppers, but he was flinging his little arms and legs around to make it difficult. Obviously, this brought a lot of attention to our little situation and the store manager got involved. He asked me what the problem was and I explained it to him. Now, my son is technically my foster son and he is a different race than I am. Knowing how the situation must have looked, I explained that to him. He then asked my son if I am his foster dad and for some reason, my son said no. I have no idea why and I talked about it with my son after the situation got resolved, and he doesn't know why he said it either. Anyway, that really made it seem really sketchy and the police were called. I tried showing the manager pictures of our family on my phone, but he told me to save it for the police. The police came and the situation was resolved pretty quickly, but man, that was incredibly frustration. I just needed to vent. The Chargers better win today. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dE07i9

I am so absolutely proud of my six year old today who defended another little boy even though he risked being bullied himself.

He has always been extremely sensitive and caring. A teacher approached me after school to tell me how Kevin stood up for another first grader at lunch today. Apparently all the kids at the lunch table were making fun of one little boy who ended up sitting alone.One of the kids said "Raise your hand if you hate David." All the kids raised their hands except Kevin. In defiance Kevin said "Raise your hand if you like David." He was the only one who raised his hand. Then he got up from the group of kids to go sit with David and share his fruit snacks with him. Kevin said he even gave him the best purple fruit snack to make him feel better. 💗💗💗 via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2d9pYij

So my 4yo is washing dishes

So I'm washing dishes after celebrating my brother's girlfriends birthday and my 4yo son grabbed his chair and said, "I wanna wash this bowl."So I let him wash that bowl. He got everything off and then put it in the dish rack.Then without missing a beat he grabbed another...and another...and then just moved onto plates....I stood back and watched him go thinking he would just lightly rinse and flick the brush and call it good.But he stopped, said, "Oh oh! There's some small dirt here..." and then scrubbed it clean.Put it in the dish rack.I stood to the side and wept manly tears of pride.We celebrated with hugs and he will enjoy some well earned rights to stay up past bedtime and watch a show with Dad! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2e75cRU

3yo humping

My 3yo likes to lay on her bed or the couch and go to town. It's all outside the pants (for now) and the last thing we want to do is shame her in any way. We tell her it's okay to do it but it's private so she should do it when she's by herself. But I've found out she will sometimes do it at preschool during nap time which I don't want her to do. I've told her over and over. Is this even an issue? I know kids do this and it's all part of exploring their bodies but how do I know when it's become a problem and what do I do about it? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f3JE6u

need opinion: school Halloween costume rules

My son is going as "Steve" from Minecraft for Halloween. Tomorrow they have the Halloween parade at his elementary school (K-5th grade). There was a notice that said "no play weapons".Do you think they will consider a foam pickaxe a weapon? Link is photo of the pickaxe. http://ift.tt/2f2jcLf via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dTAXyp

Who cleans up after a toy-bomb?

Sometimes we all clean, sometimes just I clean (usually to get out of doing some other awful chore), and sometimes just the kids clean.They're 3.5 and 1.5. Today's mess was a result of dumping every toy in the room.Not it!I probably could have cleaned it in 5 sweaty minutes but I had the kids clean it up while I forced them through every stage of grief.Took them an hour. I hated it. They hated it.Am I doing this right? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f3q2Q5

Minor first aid question (non-emergency)

My three-year-old is a cautious child and has so far traipsed through life with little more than a few scratches and bruises. She's never really needed a bandaid, and actually hates them because of associations with getting shots.So...this morning, I was clipping her fingernails and she moved suddenly, and I accidentally clipped a little chunk of her pinky fingertip. I felt terrible. She was frantic, there was blood everywhere, and we were having trouble wrapping a bandaid around her slippery, struggling finger - I finally just wrapped gauze tape around it until it was bulky but secure. Six or seven hours later, I gave her a quick bath and a fresh bandage and, while it hadn't bled much under the wrap, it started dripping everywhere once uncovered.My question is this: should I do anything different than keeping it wrapped up overnight? When should I let it air out? She does not cope well with pain or injuries, but seems to forget the bandage is there after a while.Bonus question: Have you ever clipped your child's skin? :( via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eK3y8t

Judgmental in laws..

Hey, guys. First time posting here but I love all the stories and advice given! This is a great community. I don't know where else to post..I'm sure we've all had our fair share of judgments being passed on us, and I am no different. My girlfriend and I live with her parents. I was recently medically separated from the military, so we didn't have another option.Anyway, we have a 7 month old daughter who is amazing.The problem is I work part-time and stay home with our daughter while my girlfriend works full-time. It works for us, but her parents just don't think it's fair. I don't mind staying home and taking care of our daughter. It feels better and my girlfriend says she would rather it be this way. But they think the man should be working 60 hours a week and the woman stays home. We're working this way because we could potentially move out and live on our own. We are 20 years old.Has anyone else dealt with judgmental in-laws of any sort? What did you do? How do I confront them about this?Anything you guys have to say, please go ahead! Thank you. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fueacT

Advice regarding stepkid violence

So I was not there for this, just to clarify:My SD (8 yoa, 60 inches tall, just shy of 60 lbs) had a sleepover at her grandmother's because her cousin (nephew, same age, a little smaller in stature) was in town for the weekend.DH went to go pick her up this AM, as well as fix a curtain rod that nephew broke. SIL takes cousin to a museum, but SD couldn't go because her mom is picking her up early.When SIL and cousin left, SD throws a huge fit. Repeatedly hit my DH and MIL, to the point that they locked her out of the room and SD ended up screwing up the door. It has taken over an hour for her to calm down.Just let me say, I feel for the kid. She doesn't have it the easiest because her parents are divorced (happened when she was 2). Her mom is in school, so SD gets bounced between her mom's and her maternal grandfather a lot. I suspect there is not a uniform way that discipline/boundaries are being laid down between three houses and school. She usually get teary when she and her cousins have to say goodbye, but this is a whole new level.I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant. This behavior concerns me because I don't want the baby, myself, or my husband's safety to be in jeopardy. Husband is a big guy, but I'm pretty petite, and obviously, this baby is going to fragile for a long time.I don't know what to do, I don't want to come between DH and his daughter, but this freaks me out. Any advice would be appreciated. Sorry this was so long.Edit: Grammatical fixes via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dTouKY

Trunk or treat - why is this a thing?

I have two older boys, 17 and 15, who trick or treated the old fashioned way, trudging around in the cold earning their candy. Now i have a 5 year old and so much has changed, i blame pinterest, but trunk or treat!?! I get why this is a thing in really rural areas or maybe bad neighborhoods or food other instances where traveling around a neighborhood is isn't possible, but why does this even exist in a nice area? Why is this supplanting regular trick of treating? Plus everyone goes all out decorating their car, just more social pressure to put a bunch of time i don't have into someyhing ridiculous, lest i be the outcast.I have an irrationally steering hatred of this. When did this trend start? Why is it spreading? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eJO04R

How honest are you with your kids?

My wife and I swore we would be 100% honest with our kids (twins - now 9yrs old). That being said I was a little surprised but proud of what my wife told our boys recently. While I was at work one day one of the boys said to my wife 'I heard you making noises in bed last night, what were you doing?' Instead of telling them we were wrestling or some other ruse she straight up told them 'we were having sex'. Are any other parents this honest with their kids? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f6uGvu

LPT: Even if you already can guess what your child is saying, let them finish their thought.

It helps them write complete sentences later and as adults will be able to finish a thought in day to day conversation without trailing off waiting for someone else to finish their sentences. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ebX2a1

Our baby doesn't ever want to sleep.

Hey guys. Our baby is 8months old. Up to about 3 months, her sleeping was fairly easy. Now, it's getting harder and harder. She hates sleep. She shows all the early signs of tiredness and we jump straight to it and try put her to bed. But she fusses and fusses, crying until we sit her up (with her forcing herself up aswell). Then she's happy and starts playing.It's getting to the point where all our tricks (bad habits I know) won't work. Rocking her doesn't work, breast feeding to sleep won't work. She just wants to constantly play until she is so tired she let's out a constant high pitch scream signaling that we are on over tired grounds.We have tried music and white noise but it's all becoming innefective. Once we lay her down, she knows what's up and kicks off to get back up.It sucks because once she is asleep, she stays asleep and wakes up later, happier than ever. Last night, she was up till 11pm. I had to put her in her carrier and go for a walk with her to put her to bed (don't do it often because we know that would be hard to break out of)Any advice for babies who wanna constantly play? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2e1LWkE

Just after the first month, I caught myself humming a baby lullaby while on my phone taking a dump. Shit just got real.

That was my way of keeping myself entertained without my phone for once. Caught me off guard.What have you caught yourself doing? Ours just turned 30 days and is getting fed by his mom right now. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f6502c

I am pretty sure my 4yo son has asthma. What does this mean for his quality of life?

Here's the history of what we're going through. At the beginning of September, my 4 year old son came down with a cold. We all thought it was just a run of the mill cold. Nothing to really worry about. My husband and I both work full time, and my mother watches the kids while we work. We kept him home from school that day, and went to work as planned. Long story short, while we were at work, he started having difficulty breathing. He was wheezing, and my mom said he was breathing from his stomach and his chest wouldn't move. She was very concerned that he might have pneumonia. She called my husband at work and let him know of her concerns, but he brushed it off as overprotective grandma stuff and reassured her that he was just sick and he would be fine. Unfortunately I do not have the ability to take phone calls at work unless it's an emergency, and although my mom was very concerned, she didn't think it was at that point so she never called me. When I was on my way home from work I called her and she told me what was going on. As soon as I walked in the door, I took one look at my son and knew I needed to get him to the hospital immediately. He couldn't complete a full sentence he was so out of breath, and his neck was pulling in with every breath he took. It was so scary. Long story short, he was admitted to the hospital that night and had breathing treatments all night long. The next day his breathing had improved, so they discharged him with an inhaler and a prescription for prednisone. We kept going with it for the next couple weeks after that, and his breathing gradually went back to normal.This was the very first time he had ever had any sort of difficulty breathing like that. The pediatrician told us that it looked like asthma, but because he had never had anything like that happen before that he didn't want to rush into a diagnosis. He said that if it ever happened again, then we would look into it further. He told us to keep the inhaler, and if he ever started to have similar symptoms to go back to using the inhaler again and to call him.Well now the boy has come down with another cold. He was coughing quite a bit last night, so my husband and I decided to give him a couple puffs from the inhaler in hopes that it would prevent what happened last time. It definitely cut down on the cough, but at about 3am he woke up coughing and wheezing, and his chest was tight. I immediately gave him 4 puffs from the inhaler, and within a couple minutes the wheezing and coughing stopped and he was able to go back to sleep. He seems fine this morning, but I plan on continuing to give him 2 puffs from the inhaler every 4 hours until I can get him into the doctor's office.At this point, I'm convinced that we're dealing with asthma. What does this mean for his quality of life? I am so worried about my little guy.I'd just like to know if it is asthma, what it means for my son's quality of life and his future. Should he be on an inhaler even when he's not experiencing symptoms to prevent an attack? Do you know of any resources where my husband, mother, and I can learn a bit more about the signs of an impending attack and how to manage this? I've been trying to read up as much as I can, but I really still know next to nothing about asthma. I would love to have some advice from people who have actually lived with this condition, or parents of children with asthma. If anyone can give me any words of wisdom, I would love to hear it. I just want to make sure my son stays healthy, and I don't want him to ever have to struggle to breathe. I can't imagine how scary it must be. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f2kkOo

Single parents of two young kids - what does your evening bedtime routine look like?

This is my first stint of solo parenting for a week while my husband is away for work and I honestly don't know how single mums/dads manage. I have a 3-year old who will only fall asleep while she's being held and a 6-month old who nurses to sleep and wakes to feed every couple of hours. Luckily I've managed to get a friend or family member coming over each evening this week to look after one kid while I get the other to sleep. But I'm curious as to how single parents manage getting two (or more!) little kids fed/bathed/put to bed! What are your tips and strategies?(This is my first Reddit post so apologies in advance if I'm missing some etiquette!) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eaV0qy

Nanny leaving family. How to say "goodbye"

So I'm not sure if this would be better suited for a different subreddit. The nanny subreddit I saw didn't have that much subscribers. But I figured someone here might be able to help me.I'm a nanny to an adorable 2.5 year old. I started with her 2 years ago when she was a baby and had worked with her full time the first year and part time the second year. So I'm very attached to her and she's also attached to me. I'm pretty much a 3rd parent to her.The issue is I decided I need to move back to my home town 8 hours away. It's really the best thing for my future goals, but I'm really sad to be leaving her. I planned on making a little picture book for her to explain this situation. I also plan to visit that city occasionally and will try to meet up with her and she can call or face time me whenever she wants.But I'm not sure how to first explain this to her. If anyone here has any advice on how to bring this up to her I'd love to hear. I don't want her to feel like I'm just leaving her. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dSioe8

Ever lose sight of your kid in a crowded place?

Its a surreal feeling.I lost track of my 3 year old at a very crowded halloween event tonight. The world stopped. I became hyper focused. I was scared and yet calm. Looking back i feel like i could have done anything in that moment with no regrets.I found him like 15 seconds later. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f1huJw

And suddenly, children

Social services removed my cousin's children from her. My family may be gaining custody of them. She is very cooperative, actually asking us to apply for custody. They are a 6yo boy and 4yo girl. My family consist of me, my parents, and my brother and sister in law, all above the age of 20. The children will most likely be with us long term, possibly even adopted. Does anyone have any advice, about fostering, children coming from difficult backgrounds, or even just age/gender related advice? Any and all advice is welcome. Thanks! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dRSEym

Feed a (harmless) addiction, or try to move past it?

Stupid question.My 22 month old son is HOOKED on these Baby TV Song & Rhymes videos on Hulu. He is constantly asking for his "mimes". When it's on, he laughs and snuggles us, or gets up and dances. To say he loves the videos is an understatement.We realised that there wasn't much else we were watching on Hulu, so cancelled our subscription. He has been getting upset because we won't put his rhymes on (he'll watch some other shows, but complain the whole time that they aren't his rhymes).Theoretically we could re-up the subscription, or screen cap the videos, but I'm wondering if this is doing more harm than good?Please no arguments about screen time for under 2's. We do allow him to watch television with us, and it's an interactive experience for him (we sing along, talk about the characters, etc.) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fiq9es

First post ever and I have to share my news.

Not sure if this is the right place, but here goes. I have been fighting for shared custody for the last year and a half for my now two year old son and as of yesterday it is official:I now have 50/50 week abouts with my son and I'm the happiest dad in the world!Looks like I'll be seeing a lot of you guys. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eHAOgI

I might have fucked up.

My son is 14, he is a great kid and does well at school. He tells me EVERYTHING which is both a blessing and a curse. I am his (40yd) mother. tonight his friend was supposed to be sleeping over my house, his mother is very protective and this was the first time he was allowed to sleep out. I found out 3 days ago that him and 6 friends were planning to buy vodka and my son and his friend were going to sneak out and spend the night drinking in a field. I butted in and said under NO circumstances were they allowed to drink vodka, and stupidly offered to buy them cans of cider instead. From my point of view, I was honestly scared to death about them drinking vodka and dying in a field...but thought that getting them cider would make it better somehow. i'm not a lackadaisical mother, I honestly worry and care about my kids, but I figured that i would rather know exacly what they were doing rather than get a phone call. Maybe i'm trying to justify it to myself, but I honestly believe that I was acting their best interest and knowing EXACTLY what they were doing and what their plans were so I could be ready. If I judged him by his peers, He is honestly miles behind them, lots of them smoke, smoke weed, take various drugs, and generally misbehave. I know if they didnt have cidar off me, then they would have had 4 liters of vodka from their friend, and that is what scares me.....I know i'm wrong for allowing them to drink, but I worry what could happen if he did it in secret via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eUmO3O

What do you do when you see another parent hitting their child?

Yesterday I was in the toy section of a shop with my son and saw a mother yelling at her daughter, threatening to smack her if she didn't come back . The girl was maybe 3 years old, and had seen something she wanted to play with. You know, normal kid stuff.Mum yells until the kid comes back, then grabs her by the arm to spin her around and whacks her angrily on the bum. Kid is bawling, with tears and snot running down her face. Mum tells kid "if you were good, I wouldn't have to smack you" and they leave.This wasn't "discipline". She hit the kid in anger, and then blamed it on the kid.I froze. I watched a tiny, scared human be hurt by the person who was supposed to protect and nurture her. And I didn't do anything about it.I don't know if there's anything I could have done. I'm still new at parenting. My kid is still happy sitting in his stroller, so I haven't been in her position. I couldn't risk my baby's safety by starting a confrontation, and I didn't want to escalate things.Reddit, how would you have handled the situation? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eQd4os

Parenting Advice Requested

So my son, who is 12 going on 30, is a bright and intuitive you man. He clearly oozes knowledge and often I'm surprised at his interpretations and perspectives he shares on things. He has great potential to do great things.Problem is. He hates school. Like HATES it. When he does do the work, in subjects that are of interest to him, it's As and Bs no problem. If he dislikes the subject, he flat just doesn't do the workMyself and my ex wife have tried many things. His personality matches mine to a T, but additionally so it matches her as well. Think of me and my ex being total opposites. Her the structured and self disciplined, strong in scheduling and planning. Me the laid back, kinda go with the flow, from the heart, calm under pressure.My son takes more from me in that regard, and while stubborn, it is stubborn to not doing the work. We've tried almost everything from special Ed, to counseling, to medicine for ADHD, to grounding and taking away all electronics, which like most kids, is his thing.So my question is, what have you done in the past or what have you experienced that helped turn things around? I know the school system and how kids learn are flawed as hell, but he has a 4 year scholarship waiting for him when he graduates and I don't want to see him waste the gift. He got that because he was adopted by the way.Any advice would be great. And there are many more things that we've tried so if I don't respond to your post, most like tried it. But thanks for anything you give me. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2f0XhUc

LPT: when putting young children to bed, try yawning often.

when putting young children to bed, try yawning often.OK, maybe this is not life bro tip but it does really seem to work for me. As I'm reading bedtime stories to my kids and cuddling with them before they go to sleep I find that they usually drift off faster if I yawned and every 40 seconds or so. They start yawning too and are gone in no time. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eZ82Xn

Not sure whether to believe 7 year old or not.

Hi r/Parenting,I'm stuck in a tricky situation here and thought I'd get some opinions.I have a 2 yr old and a 7yr old. It's been a year and a half since their father and I split and went through a very nasty divorce, which has ended up with 50/50 custody.Their father and I do not get along and only communicate about the children and nothing more. I have no idea where the kids are when he has them, what they do, who they see. I basically don't know half of my kids lives. This has left me with guilt and anger with the situation. The oldest unfortunately detects the hostility though I try my best not to allow anything on my end from her seeing that. I do my best not to try "winning" my kids over for the sake of my own feelings towards their Dad.When asking my two year old about a bruise on her chin last night, she said "Daddy did it". When changing her today, I noticed another bruise on her leg and asked again where she got the booboo and again she's said Daddy.So I went out to my 7 yr old and said "I don't know why your sister keeps saying her booboos are from your Dad. That's not true, right? Your father doesn't hit your sister I hope?"My 7 yr old responded:"Well, he hits her when she's being bad. Jane(exHusbands fiancé, name changed)and Daddy sometimes hold her arms down and smack her face and scream at her to stop. And they push me out of the room so I can't see. And he smacks her butt really hard. "I don't want to assume worst case with this, so I calmly asked what else goes on without trying to have her make stuff up by being too aggressive with the questions.And she told me that Daddy screams at her sister a lot and tells her to shut up. And he gets so mad that he'll throw stuff.My exHusband was abusive with me and we argued a lot about how hard he disciplined the oldest when we were together. What my daughter has told me is putting a fear in me I haven't felt since we split, but I think I am fearful of my daughters wellbeing. She is definitely a handful, while her sister was a very calm toddler.My ex is also expecting a new child with his fiancé and I'm worried that the stress my two year old puts on him might flip a switch in him that may cause him to snap - especially because of his animosity towards me.Based on what my daughter has told me I'm wondering if children and youth should be contacted or if it might be my daughter over exaggerating how he disciplines her and my own feelings maybe getting in the way.I'd really like some advice. I'm afraid if I contact C&Y they'll think this is just a tactic for me to try and get custody of the kids, but I'm also afraid if something is going on and no one detects or does anything that my daughter is going to be a victim. I just don't know where to go from here. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eHkZ9V

Why won't Leappad find our WiFi?

Hoping someone here may have had this issue; the last thing I want to do is contact their customer service and be told 'check your settings! Your ticket is now closed.'OK, so, the WiFi. It was hidden but we unhid it, because it can't find hidden ones. Now it's unhidden and our phones can find it, our printer can find it, it is THERE, but the Leappad won't find it. It did find it once, on the evening we did the Unhiddening, but by the morning had lost it again. WiFi for all other devices is working perfectly fine. The Leappad itself is picking up all the usual nearby networks, plus some more that are even further away, but bafflingly not ours.Is there some kind of sciency techie codey thing we've overlooked here?It's not hidden because a) we unhid it and b) everything else can find it.the Leappad's detection can't be knackered because it can find even more networks than our other devices. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dYAAh6

What are your weekends like?

Hey fellow parents,I'm trying to get a sense of whether family's weekends are typical. I don't mean in terms of activities or sports or stuff like that - I'm interested in how you guys 'feel' on weekends.I'm a SAHD and my wife and I have two boys, ages 4 and 2. I'm curious about what other families get up to and how household jobs and errands are tackled. What about socializing (with and without kids) - is that a priority or do you set weekends aside for family time?So, what's your family like and how are weekends in your home? Are they stressful or relaxing, structured or spontaneous, wall-to-wall busy or bordering on boredom? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2frjiOX

Does anyone elses baby just not sleep during the day?

My 6 month old boy is rubbish at sleeping during the day, he will get up at around 6.30ish and might have 10 minutes sleep on my knee during the morning, in the afternoon he will usually have about an hour in his pushchair. If I try and put him in his cot he screams no matter how long I leave him and if I put him in his cot after he has fallen asleep on me he will be awake in 10 mins. He doesn't seam unhappy he doesn't get overly grumpy he is just too nosy. At night he goes to sleep at 7pm and gets up 2-3 times for milk but always goes straight back to sleep. I'm just concerned he is not getting enough sleep. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eTsCKQ