Hey parents, this is a very long post, and I need to vent. And if anyone makes it through this long post and has any suggestions for me, I'd appreciate it.At recess, a kid (3rd grade) was being aggressive with my son (4th grade). They were playing dodgeball and he was calling my kid names and hitting him in the face with the ball. My kid got annoyed and left, and the boy continued to follow him around calling names and throwing the ball at the back of his head. My kid told him to stop multiple times, and he didn't, so he screamed "SHUT UP!" in his face, the boy backed off, and then my son went and played basketball with some other kids.A little while after recess was over, my son was called down to the assistant principal's office. He went down and was told that the student reported him for saying he was going to kill him. He freaked out, because he didn't say that, and told the assistant principal as much. The assistant got a couple other students in that was there that were present and they confirmed my son didn't say that and only yelled shut up. My son has severe anxiety and was shaken up by it and asked to speak to guidance. The school has always told them if they're upset about something, they can talk to the guidance counselor, who they should view as their friend.Towards the end of the day, guidance pulls him in. She told my son, "Well, I heard a little something about you today. I heard you told [other student] that you were going to kill him by taking a gun and blowing his head off." My son freaked the fuck out and told her he didn't say that. She told him several times that she knew for a fact he said it, and if he'd just admit to saying it, he wouldn't get in trouble. He denied each time. She next asked for his side of the story. He repeated what I told y'all. Then she asked him several more times he needed to admit to the "blowing the head off" thing, that she knew he said it, told him he just needed to be honest, he wouldn't get in trouble, etc. He continued to deny it and she let him go. (Frankly, I'm surprised he didn't just say "Yes" to make her stop badgering him.)I found about this after school. I was livid, because in my mind (and as a former teacher myself), no adult should be badgering a child on and on like that, trying to make him admit to something. It's one thing to ask what happened, tell him what he was accused of, and go over it for clarity's sake, to make sure there are no inconsistencies with his story, but that went beyond that. If she was going to accuse him of something so severe, he shouldn't have been in there by himself. I should've been called about something that serious, and at no point did the school call me about any of this.I went back to the school and demanded to speak with the guidance and principal. Apparently guidance left as soon as classes were over, so she wasn't there and won't be back until Friday. We talked to both the principal and assistant principal.Assistant principal said he thought it was just a contact sport type game that got a little heated, so he didn't think that much of it, which is why he didn't call me about the "I'm going to kill you," accusation. He said he did refer my son to guidance at his request and told her a rundown of the playground incident and that my son was upset over being accused of making a threat, but that was it. He said he had no idea where she would even have gotten the gun part from.My son has a great reputation at the school. Never been in trouble, perfect grades, very mild-mannered and tender-hearted. I had a conference with his main teacher this week, and she was just gushing over him. (All that is to say that there's no reason to doubt him and that he doesn't have a history of making things up or whatever.) My son was beside himself last night about what happened. He could hardly sleep. He already had bad anxiety, and now he's a mess.I don't know why the guidance wanted to get him to confess to making a threat when the assistant principal considered it over. The assistant principal told me the other boy didn't go down to guidance since he didn't request to and that he didn't believe him about the threat anyway. The other kid has a history of being a troublemaker, and the assistant said he called my son down to go over what was said because he was obligated to check into it. I'm assuming that guidance decided to make up a big lie like that to get him to admit to something smaller. "If I throw something awful at him, he'll say, 'Oh no, all I said was ____" sort of thing.It will be his word against hers (a young counselor, new at the school). I can't imagine that she'll admit to it. So what the hell do I do with this, assuming they come back and say "Well, she said she didn't do that, his word against hers, our hands our tied..."?How would you guys handle this?I told my son that if he is called down again to tell them that he isn't speaking without one of his parents present (but in a polite way, like "I respect you, but because of how I was treated by guidance yesterday, I want one of my parents with me"). I'm not sure if that's the right call, if it will cast suspicion on him, but I don't want him in that situation again. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2tGZrjM
