Religious brainwashing

I posted this In r/step-parents but I think this can apply to parents In general....In the last year BM has become increasingly religious. They attend church 3 days a week, 4hrs on Sundays. BD and I are both agnostic. I am completely open to SD going to church and having faith. I think that many churches offer great extra curricular activities and are ultimately filed with well meaning/good people. That being said, what do you do when churches teach children that people of other religions are going to hell? Up to this point we have been supportive of BM religious journey. We have even taken SD back home early on our weekends so that she can attend this or that church event. Recently our SD 12yrs old was very upset because she believes that her cousins (my side of family) who are Jewish won't go to heaven. We talked about it, how other people believe different things and that's ok but she has been preached at so much that she believes it. BM also believes this. This is just one example of the increasing ideological ideas she has come home with. Before I thought I was doing the right thing to support and let SD faith grow naturally, now I am scared that she is going to grow up, to be close minded and judgmental. This is just one example, there have been many other concerning things she has said to us. BD and I am at a loss of what to do. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kpMs2Q

Changing an (internationally) adopted child's first name. Looking for advice and opinions.

My husband and I have two kids and are completing an international adoption of a toddler boy. He will (hopefully) be coming home during the summer. He will be just over two years old when he comes home.His name is normal for his home country, but would very out of place where we live. It would be difficult to pronounce and would stand out. I would love to change his first name, but keep his original name as his middle name.My husband was on board with this plan, but has recently changed his mind. He is worried that it will traumatize our son even more.I know it might be a long shot here, but has anyone completed an international adoption here? If you did change the name, were there any problem? Any issues if you didn't change the name? Parents who adopted domestically are welcome to answer as well. Even if you have little to no experience with adoption, it would be nice to hear any opinion you may have.I would post in /r/adoption but I have found that sub to be incredibly rude at times. I have been attacked for asking adoption related questions (many of them are opposed to international adoption) and would prefer to avoid that. This sub seems a little more helpful and positive.Thank! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kT1dIt

Parenting is the greatest worst feeling in the world that you love/hate.

Being a parent without a doubt is the greatest responsibility one person can have. An obligation to love, support, and cherish another's life with unconditional love. It's a struggle. It's emotional. It's love. You want them to grow, be healthy, happy, and successful in whatever form that takes. At the same time you wish for time to pause. To keep them small, dependent, seeking Mommy/Daddy to fix or give them what they need. They need you now. It's the feeling of being needed that is so draining yet such a blessing that fills your heart. It's that feeling that makes hard days not so hard and those easier days as they grow not so easy. Cherish every moment. Embrace being needed. It's difficulties and it's wonderful feeling. The give and take it plays on all us parents. I contemplated this tonight and I wept for no matter what part of me wants for my children part of me will not. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jTMkI2

How do I help my child be "cool"

Please dont think im shallow... My 9yo daughter was just crying and saying she has no friends (she actually has 1 but besides the point..). I feel like a POS because I'm sure I'm somewhat to blame for not taking her to every birthday party she was invited to etc. She had friends last year but we live in a working town and with the oilfield crash, most of her friends moved away. I was a "loser" as a kid and I've done everything I can to keep her from that label. (Dressing her in expensive af clothes etc) My niece who is in the same school told me today that some of her friends say my daughter "weird". Which she kinda is, mostly just immature where she will talk in a baby voice. But how do I help her escape this?! And please don't say "fuck what they think they're the problem" because I know this now but when I was that age I just wanted someone to like me. I tried to kill myself when I was ELEVEN by taking a full bottle of Tylenol because I was so sad. She's nine and I don't want that to ever happen to her. HELP. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kPqTJL

Custody Woes

Hi r/Parenting! Hope you can help me navigate this delicate issue. I'm at a loss.I have two boys, 13 (going on 14, in high school this year), and 11 (12 in December). I have been split up from their father since they were 6 and 4; both his father and I have our own respective relationships with significant others that are long term. They have been seeing their father on a regular basis as per our custody agreement (every other weekend and one evening a week) since the break up. That is, until this week.A little bit of context: my fiance does not have any children, so my boys are the only kids in my household. My ex's wife has one son from a previous relationship who I believe is 10.My boys approached myself and my fiance last week and laid out what is happening at their father's house. They feel like their father doesnt love them because of his treatment of them. Different rules exist for the stepson and my boys, one example that continually comes up is the fact that my boys are barred from this child's room, but when my boys arent at their house the stepson is allowed to enter my boys room and pilfer what he wants. Their time spent with their father is spent attending stepson's various sports 'as a family' and the boys rarely get quality time with their father. When the kids disagree, my ex's wife ends up yelling at the boys (this I know to be true as my oldest mimicked her finger-waving head bobbing and it was the same thing she did to me when I was attempting to communicate with my ex a few years ago). Stepsons side is continually taken no matter what, as stepson will wail if he's in any way inconvenienced.We listened to their complaints. They then indicated that they no longer wished to visit their father as they didnt see the point.I encouraged my boys to speak to their father and work this out. They texted him, which went nowhere (texting is literally the worst form of communication) so I suggested they talk when he came to pick them up for their weekend with him.Reddit, it went terribly. Ten minutes later they came in the house both bawling their eyes out. I talked to both boys separately. The jist is that he called them liars, these sorts of things arent happening at his house, and that theyre lucky they have a dad to visit. He then said he doesnt care how they feel, and to get out of his truck which was when they both walked in crying. He then texted me accusing me of alienating him. I have always advocated open communication and although my relationship with ex has never been easy (he has communication and ego issues, heh) I have always encouraged the boys to visit their father and stressed the importance of their relationship.That brings us to today. My youngest came in distraught because 'Daddy is across the road!' It wasnt his truck, but it opened up a dialogue about their impending visit today and how both boys are still not interested in visiting. When I again told them that they'd have to bury the hatchet and communicate with their father, my oldest became upset. My ex's response to the boys refusal was 'Fine. Call me when you want to see me.'Should I be forcing them to go? Should I be encouraging more communication (Ive suggested email because its a great way to get many thoughts down without the heat of the moment clouding ones words). Are they old enough and mature enough to decide? Should I be communicating with ex? Ive largely stayed out of it because I dont want to meddle in their relationship but SHOULD I be meddling? Any questions to clarify the situation are welcomed. Thank you! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kOdnmp

Help with offensive instagram

Hi everyone, I'm not sure this is the correct sub so feel free to point me in the right direction if not.My son is called mark (name changed) and is 11 years old. His dad and I split when he was 3. My SO who I have been with for 7 years has helped me raise mark in every way.Marks dad has been occasional feature in my sons life. He pays nothing in child maintenance and he probably sees mark 10x a year. It's usually short visits at marks nans house.So onto the issue. My ex recently said to my SO that he has explained the reason why he doesn't see mark much as he should to mark. I asked mark what his excuse was and it's pretty unbelievable. He is apparently pursuing a rap career...Mark told me his dads rap name and I have found him on instagram. He has uploaded lots of really offensive videos stuff on there involving; drug taking, sexual acts, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, guns, violence etc. You get the picture.Now if this was just him I wouldn't care HOWEVER he has photos of mark on this page. I really do not want my beautiful and innocent son this very murky page. Marks dad is such a burden to him as is I really don't want any repercussions from this... is there anything I can do to get marks pictures taken off this site??TLDR: Sons dad is an "aspiring rapper" with a highly offensive/gross instagram page with photos of my son on it, can I do anything to have them removed? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jsMmbj

Wife is in tears with breastfeeding, how can she stop?

My youngest son is now 28 months old. My wife stays home and is with him 24/7. She doesn't know how to stop. She can't accomplish anything at home because he is always looking for it. Any tips would be appreciated. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kelnxd

Penalized for taking maternity leave

Not sure if this is the right subreddit so please feel free to redirect me. I actually don't even think I have a question I just need to talk about this.I recently had my second child, I had a different job when I had my first. I was eligible for 24 weeks of leave through different mechanisms (ie state-sponsored leave, disability, vacation, sick leave, etc). When I met with my direct supervisor before I went on leave to talk about what it would look like, she told me to work it out on my own and not bother her with it. So I did all my paperwork with HR and took care of my stuff. I tried to work with my boss to reassign some of my projects and she told me we were understaffed and she would deal with it.I was ok with doing some light work from home (answering emails, keeping up with regulatory stuff that was going to expire, etc) so I did that throughout my leave. But 3 months in my boss started hounding me about my projects not getting done, and accusing me of being lazy and irresponsible for not completing them. She said that it was unfair and unacceptable to expect my coworkers to do my work for me. I fell for the guilt trip and felt so guilty that I started coming in 1 day/week, which has quickly turned into 5 days/week.My boss is clearly furious at me for taking as long of a leave as I did and has been berating me and publicly humiliating me. For instance, one of the staff people who was working on a project of mine made a mistake, so my boss brought it up at a meeting in front of the whole department and told me that my laziness, irresponsibility, and lack of oversight caused the error.I am putting my baby in daycare next week and ending my maternity leave early. I want to quit my job because I think this behavior from my boss is unacceptable. My SO thinks that I am just hormonal and shouldn't be making any snap judgments like that. Aside from my boss I like my job.I think I just need to hear from someone out there that this is not normal? Maternity leave is supposed to be actual leave, isn't it? Has anyone else been forced back early or punished like this for taking leave?Also I just want to implore you to please not turn this into one of those posts where you tell me everything that I did wrong. If I had a time machine I would do many things differently, but I don't and I already feel like a piece of shit for being in this situation. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kdygaU

Preschooler won't stay in car seat shoulder harness.

My three year old has figured out now that he can slide the chest clasp down to his crotch and work his arms out of the shoulder straps. He's been doing this constantly. Any ideas how to stop this? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jRqNQa

Best and Worst part of parenting

What do you think is the best and worst part of parenting?To me... Best: cuddling sleeping baby; coloring with them; watching them see/do things for the first timeWorst: after school meltdowns; worrying about them via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kR3bZT

I could use some suggestions on righting the food ship with our second child.

Hi there, everyone -I am the father of two little boys. The oldest is 7 and his younger brother is 16 months. I am writing with a bit of a dilemma regarding feeding the youngest. Our older son has been diagnosed with ASD and a significant component of that is an extremely limited diet (he eats about 5 things [chicken nuggets, fish sticks, chips, carrots, sweet potato fries] and that's pretty-much it). When our oldest was younger and we were navigating the ASD challenges, we put food issues pretty low on the priority list. At this point, however, regrettably those limitations have become much more entrenched. We've made great strides in other areas but food we just didn't.Anyway - our youngest son started out open to trying anything we put in front of him but as he's gotten older he's seeing his brother eat nuggets or fish sticks and now he doesn't want anything to do with those different foods. I'm trying to figure out if there's any way to right this ship while he's still young given our limitations with our older son. Has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this? Any suggestions? Thank you very much in advance! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2knhqsM

Where is the line between abuse/molestation and natural curiosity between children?

I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Basic background...my daughter is 8 and my niece (not blood related, close family friends of my wife's mother...long story) is 10, and they generally get along quite well. My daughter has no access to older kids aside from being around them at school, whereas my niece has two older brothers who are quite troubled, as well as a mostly absent father who has been accused of inappropriate behaviour with my niece. Nothing ever came of the accusations but everyone's careful around him and he does seem a little bit off if you know what I mean. when the girls were 4 and 6 I caught them in their underwear in my MIL's room during a visit. They had gone in there fully clothed and were giggling and playing around but nothing sexual appeared to be happening (yet). I didn't really react at all, and I just told them I didn't think it was a good idea for them to be playing in there with their clothes off and to get dressed and come out of there.Now on to what happened...They moved away for a while but recently came back, and this is where I don't really know what to think. Now that they're 8 and 10 they're obviously a little farther along, and a lot more curious than they were before, so I understand that, but that day in their underwear was always in the back of my mind. So sure enough, during a recent visit they weren't alone together for even 10 minutes when I decided to go and check on them and they both have the deer in the headlights looks on their faces, and without much prodding at all, my daughter tells me they were playing boyfriend and girlfriend and kissing each other on the mouth. Again, played it cool and didn't act like the world had ended, but I also told them that they were no longer allowed to play together unsupervised if this was the type of "playing" they were going to do. On the surface that doesn't seem so bad, until last night when my daughter asked me what "French kissing" is. I told her. She asked if she could watch her mom and I do it, and I told her that wasn't necessary, and that we both know she's seen it on TV. Then she said she already knows anyway, because she's done it...and admitted to playing french kissing with her cousin told me they were actually kissing with open mouths and touching tongues. I asked her if anything else happened and she said no.So I have officially restricted their contact because I don't need my child getting her sex ed from a kid two years older than her, and to be honest I really don't know who initiated this activity, so I also don't want to hear from my "sister in law" that my daughter is doing this to my niece.We have had age appropriate talks from the beginning, she's seen myself and her brother naked hundreds of times, and we're always very matter-of-fact when it comes to anything sex-related, so I decided that before it was too late I'd give her a quick crash course/refresher last night just to get ahead of it, including "if you have any questions, you can ask us" but she's really shy with this stuff so I don't force it. I really don't know what to think. She doesn't seem to be traumatized by it, but she was incredibly uncomfortable talking about it so I dropped it and just made sure she knew that she could talk to whoever she felt comfortable talking to if it was something she wanted to talk about, and that it was okay if she didn't want to talk to her mom or I about it.I'm having a hard time convincing myself that this was any kind of "assault" or whatever, but knowing how much more exposed my niece is to this stuff, I'm pretty sure this is stuff that's happened to her, considering how quick they were to get at it, and how much she seemed to know. So...as far as my daughter is concerned, do I just drop it and let her process it and let her come to us on her terms? Did anything really "wrong" even happen? I don't want to freak out and make her thing she did something wrong, even if she did initiate it, as I think this is more of a learning opportunity than something that needs to be punished. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jR08TB

Car seat on trip to Europe -- seatbelts don't lock out like in US?

I'm in Spain for a trip and I tried to attach our carseat to the cab's seatbelt as I've done many times before in the US, to discover that the belt doesn't "lock out" when pulled all the way. I tried a second cab and it was the same. Is there something I'm missing, or do I somehow need to acquire a locking clip and learned to use that on the next cab?Car seat I'm using is the Graco Snugride Click Connect 35 (without the base). via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kQNxgX

Formula perfection

I need help understanding this. My wife told me that our pediatrician okayed our son (8 months) to drink water with a sippy cup. He refuses, but to help keep him hydrated I add a bit more water to his formula bottle. As in less than an ounce. She stumbled across an article that talked about problems from constipation to infant death with incorrect formula ratios and forbade that. I know where she's coming from better safe than sorry, but I guess I thought a little extra couldn't hurt. But now she's insistent that each scoop of formula be absolutely perfect, and will ask me if I leveled each scoop of powder with the lid so no extra formula is added. We are pretty chill parents normally. Is this overkill? Or is the formula ratio truly an exact science? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kcGb8k

Toddler waking up in the middle of the night -- wife and I are losing it

Our daughter (2.5) has never slept well. She was sleeping through the night, but over the last month to six weeks she has started waking up at 2-3am and moaning ... and then screaming for mom. For a while, I could get up with her and rock her back to sleep. But that no longer works either. Mom has to get up with her and spend quite a bit of time before she'll go back to sleep. Wife has put a mattress down in her room just so she can get some kind of sleep.We've done modified CIO in the past and it has worked okay for us (wife finds it very hard to do).I work outside the home and so I have to leave fairly early - wife works at home but is struggling to do anything with how tired she is. (My wife isn't a great sleeper either, and when it is interrupted she has a very hard time going back to sleep).Have you encountered this problem?What worked for your family? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jqHqUo

Handling entitlement issues with 10 year old girl

Hello everyone,My oldest daughter has visitation with her Dad. Her Dad works part-time at a minimum wage job, but he married very rich. He and his wife have a lot of nice materialistic things. Now, I'm a college educated single mom. The kids and I used to live in an apartment and they would complain about sharing a room. I worked and hustled my ass off and landed a great paying job! I was able to rent a 4 bedroom house in a decent neighborhood for all of us. Not going to lie, I was proud of this accomplishment. Out of the blue my 10 year old starts saying how crappy our neighborhood is and that she's embarrassed by how 'poor we are'. I was incredibly hurt and ticked off. WTH?! I didn't raise her to have an entitlement mentality. So parents, how do I best go about solving this issue? I want her to be grateful for everything she has. Never once did I look at my parents house as a child and say "This isn't good enough for me". Just can't believe her attitude, I was so upset. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kcE5Wf

Question for Dads and Husbands

Question for Dads and Husbands, How do I explain to my wife that the sense of protection I have over both of them is not weird and also that there is nothing I can do to help it?Mods...if this question is in the wrong place, just let me know.Scenario: We went to a free Superbowl event in downtown Houston this past Saturday and took our 17 month old daughter. There were many people looking around and checking out other various booths and whatnot. Because this was a free event, there was also some riff raff there obviously high on something. From that moment on, I went into watchdog mode. I was not interested in the things going on around us, just that they were both in my site. I want them both to have fun and get the full experience, this is good for me. I took over the stroller duty (which is fun because I can play with my daughter) and we visited the exhibits, looked through the booths and checked out the food trucks.As we are walking back to the car my wife tends to walk behind me so she can take in the sites. I slow down so she can get in front of me but instead, she slows down because I do. The discussion started when I asked her to walk in front of me…that it bugs me when I cant see her. Don’t mind if she walks slow and stops to take a look around, just as long as I can see her.She claims that this is weird which infuriates me. I didn’t start a fight or anything, just allowed her walk in front of me and resumed our little adventure. There really is no end to this story I just want to know what other fathers experience is with this. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jqQ0m2

Skin to skin contact for 2.5 year old girl.

Hey all,Recently separated from my ex and we have joint custody. Things were exactly on the best terms when we split so I can't ask her regarding stuff like this. Whenever I have my daughter and it's time for bed she likes to take her shirt off and expects me to do the same. Is this normal and kids just like the skin to skin contact? I may be overreacting just wanted to hear from you guys. Thanks a ton. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kQ3wfo

Weekly - Ask parents everything - January 31, 2017

This bi-weekly thread is meant as a place for non-parents and parents to ask questions to the community.Note - Remember that all questions and responses must adhere to our community rules.For daily questions see /r/Askparents via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kNG3iE

Sad Realizations

My 7 year old daughter loves to wear her bracelets, necklaces, and sprays that were given to her from a family friend. She doesn't wear them to school just around the house, she is quite the character. That led to my girlfriend making a comment about when she is an old lady (my daughter) we will never know what she is like.That really bummed me out. The thought that I will never see my kids grow up to be old or the fact that one day this will all be gone literally brings me to tears. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kPnbvM

When is old enough for your kids to supervise themselves while you're in the house but asleep?

I was talking to a friend who said her kids, who are 8 and 5, aren't old enough to be unsupervised while she takes a nap. I remember my mom napping and supervising myself when I was 8 or younger. I think I might have been around 5 when it started, but memories blend together. I know for sure I was 8 or younger though because we moved out of that house when I had just turned 9. Anyway, my mom was very hands-on and not negligent at all, and I never ran into any trouble while being unsupervised. I was also very responsible though. So my question is, at what age can you leave a kid unsupervised while you nap, and does it depend on the maturity level of the kid as well? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jQdywC

Out of answers with my 3 year old. Help

Good Evening EveryoneFirst of all, if you took the time to click this and read, its greatly appreciated.Let me start off with the situation. My 3 year old is as rambunctious and full of life as any that you will come across. Recently, I bought a home and moved to a new city with my fiance (not his mother). My fiance and my son have always been very close, very good friends, but ever since the move it has not been the same. He constantly wants to go back home (to his mother) and recently anything that is said his way will throw him into a crying fit. He spends most of his time moping around and asking about his mother. I cannot get him to play or do anything a 3 year old should be doing. I am afraid he is depressed and I'm sure the move is hard on him, but it seems a little extreme right now. Is there anything I can change to help him feel better? What are your thoughts Reddit? I would love to hear any and all thoughts. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2klqNco

newborn

My wife and I just had out first born 3 days ago. It was a complicated birth ending in a c section due to the complications. Because of my wife's condition, I've been the primary caretaker of our son while also helping her recover.The biggest challenge we've had so far has been feeding. My wife cannot get baby to latch and feed without help from the nurses. She gets frustrated and gives up very easily. She wants to breastfeed but it just isn't working for her. She makes a huge deal about pumping - delaying and delaying until baby is hungry and it is too late or finds another reason why she cant pump now... Nursing is all I am asking help from her with - I am doing all diapers, calming baby, etc... I am also syringe feeding baby probably half of everything he eats.I'm trying to be as supportive as I can but it is tough. I am starting to worry that these might be symptoms of ppd. Can anyone here share their experiences with c-section recovery? I'm wondering if this is similar to your experiences...Sorry for the rambling stream of text. Rest is something that I hope to find somewhere in my future. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kOvKXw

He won't eat and I'm at my widths end!

Long time lurker, first time poster here. I'll try to keep this short, because I don't think that back story matters much. I have a 6 year old step son, who won't eat ANYTHING. I mean ANYTHING. I'm currently sitting at the table with him still, while everyone else left the table 30 minutes ago.I can't handle it!We made ribs! RIBS! And French fries. He ate five French fries and some of his salad and he refuses to eat any meat! Or macaroni, or broccoli, or potatoes, eggs, bacon, bananas, apples, fruit in general, vegetables in general... you're starting to get it I'm sure... please help! I don't know what to do anymore! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kJ8sDf

Ambitions question on my 1st grader's test

So my 7yr old son came home from school today with homework and tests to review and sign. This was one question on his reading/vocabulary test marked incorrect and it just doesn't sit well with me.Question: http://ift.tt/2klaXP2 feel like there couldn't possibly be a wrong answer to that question, and I wrote a note under my signature on the test saying I thought it was subjective and any of the answers could be correct depending on THAT person's ambitions. Thoughts? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2klbDDM

Too much TV

Hi parents,I have a 3 year old and 1 year old who probably watch more tv then they should. My 1 year old doesn't watch very much but the 3 year old does. When the TV gets turned off she throws tantrums.Lately she has been into these YouTube videos where people play with toys (Paw Patrol, water balloons, paint, or gum balls). Which baffles me because wouldn't it be more fun if she actually played with some toys herself?Once the tv goes off they will find something to do but she always watch to "watch cartoon show". I want to foster more imagination and I don't mind playing with her for a little bit but I have to wonder if a time will ever come where she will just play by herself.Any advice for cutting back on tv and doing more imaginative play? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2joAIyg

Potential partners have been hugely turned off after telling them I have a son... Starting to feel like damaged goods

I love my son and am so proud of him. But after the flirting/first date stage when I mention I have a son the past three women I've sensed a strong connection with immediately go cold.There's always the, "What?! Really?" reaction, so I tell them I see him two days a week, and hopefully more when he gets older. They don't ask about him, and then that's it. The date gets awkward and the relationship kinda peters out.I mean, I understand where they are coming from. It must be a bit of a disappointing surprise. But I believe strongly in disclosing my situation early, especially before sex.Just looking for sympathy/advice I guess. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2joe1Ks

Grandfather in law sent preachy "you must have more kids" letter

I love my kids. Love them dearly. But I have 4 under 4 - our household is crazy. We'd already decided that we were done having kids, but I happened to mention so to my sister in law a few months back.Well, apparently it trickled through the grapevine, because we just got a letter from my (very conservative, very Catholic) grandfather in law telling us that regardless of finances or health, for the good of our souls we should keep having kids.This is rich considering a) he didn't participate in the raising of his kids except to beat them and b) HE'S NOT A WOMAN.I'm especially bitter about this considering I just had an emergency procedure to fix a health problem, and one of the results was actually that I can't have more kids. I don't regret the decision, we were done and it made my life infinitely better but... the fact that he explicitly called out having more kids as being more important than my health was just... unbelievably condescending.My husband grew up surrounded by this mindset so his response was to just kind of shrug and say "what does it matter". But I just can't get over the gall.Just a vent, really. Sigh. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jwoTkH

My Toddler keeps having loose stools ONLY at daycare

Title says it all. Shes been sent home 6 times in the last month because she crosses the "3 loose stools" limit. we get her home, totally fine. Normal poop in the morning before we go. By 2pm same day, daycare lets us know she's had 3 and needs to be picked up.Weekends are also totally fine. Its ONLY at daycare!I'm pulling my hair out. My wife and I have burned through a lot of sick/personal days and the year just started.What could it be? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kkA7NA

What's it like when your young kids get bigger than you?

Does anything change or get more difficult? I am 5'2" and husband is very tall. Our 5 year old is just shy of 4 feet tall already. I can still lift her but just barely. Are there any weird power struggles originating from being as big or bigger than your parent at a young age? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kkhtpd

7 week old baby not sleeping well after family visits - Advice?

Any advice on how to get the baby into a bedtime routine after changing up their daytime schedule? It seems like they sleep ok when they have a normal day at home. Go for a family visit where they get passed around/photographed and they sleep in family member's arms all day, then bam you're dealing with a baby who is up until 4:00am. Makes me want to cut the fam visits a bit shorter to be honest.I know newborns sleep when they want to but generally they were sleeping 4-5 hours at night which was good. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jnmpKf

5 yo son breaks down into a sobbing mess if we tell him not to use bad words. Doesnt care if we get made at him for not picking up toys

I dont get this. My 5 yo son is a funny, great kid but can be aggressive sometimes other than that no issues. Twice in the last 3 months my son has used a bad word "damn" or "hell" and my wife or I have gotten on him about it. We admonished him about it but nothing severe, like "Don't say that, its a bad word" "You know not to say that" and the kid falls into a heaping crying mess on the floor. I mean like sobbing. Guilt ridden.Same kid has toys all over floor of his room and I tell him to pick it up and he refuses and defiantly stomps his feet and/or throws objects and ends up in time out. WTH? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kGIkZQ

When is a good age to limit your child seeing you naked?

Im married to a woman with a son from a previous relationship. I see him as my own and we have been curious as when is a good time to stop changing in front of him. He is three years old and is always in our room playing. Being in college we are always busy and running around like chickens with our heads cut off lol. We basically just said screw it but he is getting older and I don't want anything to come of this. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jvm4jF

Playdate issues....I dont like the mum!

Hi everyone, I hope someone can give some advice. My daughter is almost 6 and has a friend "kate". The issue is Kate's mum has started pestering me for playdates with my daughter but the problem is I dont like or trust the mum, even though we started off on friendly terms (took me about 2 months to realise she was strange)Just to name a few of the weird things she has done She gossips endlessly about people and has a vendetta against one other mum, even going so far as to suggest the other mum bribes the school to get her daughter parts in plays.After I offered once to have her daughter on a playdate, she asked me to collect or have her daughter on playdates about 8 other times..most of the time only contacting me to ask for help, when I started to say I was busy, she started ignoring/pretending not to see me.She criticised another mum for having a small halloween get together as her daughter wasnt invited...apparently they should only do something like that if they plan to invite the whole class! She then emailed the mum to find out why her daughter wasnt invited.She criticised me for my choice of date to hold my daughters birthday party as her daughter couldnt come (i suspect they wouldnt have come anyway)She asked for a playdate for two specific dates...I said I cant do those dates...and she seemed annoyed that we had other plans...telling me "I thought we were going to try and arrange playdates"It might not sound like much, but compared to the friendly, kind and easygoing mothers in the class I just feel like I dont want to deal with her. These are also the easiest incidents to explain...trust me there have been many more, including her telling me my daughter was invited to the halloween get together because we live on the 'rich street' (me and my husband and daughter live with my dad in social housing!)The problem is my daughter seriously likes the other girl...if she didnt I wouldnt have taken the mums craziness for so long...I am not confrontational so most of the time I just try to avoid her and am friendly when she is normal with me, but now she keeps telling the girls we are going to do playdates, so they are getting excited, so I feel forced into it. I thought that perhaps I could ask her daughter to come to our house...but I think she knows I am trying to brush her off...so she is more determined for us to go there. I imagine she also wants the friendship to get going again so she can start dumping her daughter on me again.Any advice would be appreciated, I feel really bad about the situation as its not fair to the girls... but the mother is bad news. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kKfk6S

Appropriate age for kids to go for a walk on their own?

I have 2 girls, 7 and 8. I live in a small neighborhood and while they have not mentioned it, I think they would be excited about the "freedom" of going for a walk around the block by themselves. I know a lot of it depends on maturity, judgement etc. but is this age appropriate? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kLDxWg

Weekly - Stories from the week/end - January 30, 2017

This weekly thread is meant as a place to share stories that happened to us as parents over the weekend. Share good, bad, fun, not fun, etc. Also, if you ever wonder who we are, click here to meet the mod team! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kKka3I

My son is getting scared of so many things

Hello all,My son, who is 6, has had quite a few of the usual fears growing up. He's scared of the dark and monsters on occasion...Usual stuff.The thing is I managed to explain how zombies and ghosts aren't a problem as even if they were real they'd have to get past me in the house first (tough dad me). He's still scared of the dark but I'm gradually dimming his lights at night which is getting us there slowly.A big problem has occured now that he saw a video on the kids YouTube app of someone playing Five Nights at Freddy's and he's been absolutely petrified of it since. He won't go anywhere alone which means his toilet training (which was also recently a problem) has gone out of the window as he doesn't want to go as it would mean going upstairs alone.I've tried explaining the difference between reality and this game but I'm struggling. Does anybody have any advice at all?Really appreciate it. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kiQF8f

[update] feeling heavy hearted about serving custody papers

I always love reading people's updates so here is a little one. Thank you to everyone who commented! I really needed that extra push.(Original post link) http://ift.tt/2jlRHRJ: I did it and it was fine.I was a major anxiety nightmare leading up to it today and planned out for every scenario possible. I recorded it just to be safe. It lasted all of 2.3 minutes. Most of which was him dropping off the kiddo and telling me how Kid is tired, hungry, and in need of a diaper 🙄). I just blurted it out, with the kid in my arms still, him standing at the door. My mother handed him the papers.He asked the ONE question I was not expecting. "Why did you do this?" I'm not sure why I didn't plan for that one. I told him I was tired of dealing with the same issues and it's in the paperwork. He went to grab our son but I wouldn't let go. There was a moment when he realized I wasn't letting go and he kissed his forehead and then left. I'm not positive he grabbed him to take off with him or to just give him a last hug, but I was not going to find out!I know it's just the first day to a long road (I know he will fight me and we will probably go to court) but my anxiety has started to shed!Thank you again for being such a great supportive Comunity! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jm3NdA

Preparing for parenthood: lesson 26

Go to bed and fall into a luxurious deep sleep.Wake up suddenly to a child beside your bed calling your name while simultaneously puking all over you.Get up. Manouver puking child to the toilet. Clean the child up and possibly change childs bedding. Return child to bed. Remember to put large basin next to child because a puking child never just pukes once.Now clean yourself up. Clean up your bed. Get back into bed and attempt to resume much less luxurious sleep.Get out of bed when you hear child walking toward your room. Find them walking past the bathroom holding basin, while puking, to come get you and tell you they're puking again.Repeat clean up routine. Put child to bed with clean basin. Hope child doesn't puke again.Go back to bed and make reddit post while waiting for child to probably puke again. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2k8oS8g

Baby advice

Any advice for babies with delayed gastric emptying? What are some treatment ideas/causes? I have a 2 month old and we are running out of solutions to help her. She has delayed gastric emptying, laryngotracheal malacia, gerd, and obstructive sleep apnea. They have a transpyloric feeding tube in right now. She is still refluxing and the tube causes an obstruction in her airway on top of her already having obstructive sleep apnea this is not a good combination. We have had to choose whether she is breathing good or getting nutrition. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kJ7JFE

Child always needing to be "first"

My two daughters, 3.5 and almost 5 years old, are always fighting over who gets to be "first". I think this is particularly coming from my eldest, and she has rubbed off on her sister. I have seen her rush past others, sometimes bumping into them, in her race to be first. She'll have a fit if her sister was dressed first, and insist that she must have her teeth brushed first. My second is now also playing these games.I don't always have the time and patience to make sure that everything is completely equal. In the morning rush, whoever got out of bed first might be dressed first, and I don't want to hear tantrums about it. I try to explain that sometimes they each get something special or different, and they don't always have to be the same.I have seen some good advice here, so I'm reaching out to fellow parents. How do I get my oldest daughter to let go of being first? I think it may be related to being the oldest (and as a fellow oldest child, I kind of get it). Still, I'm looking for creative ideas for how to change this. Has anyone experienced this? Any tips? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jM3EfA

My son started a black market at school

So, I didn't know where I could discuss this other than the reddit community here.At my son's school they give out fake school money, "bucks," for being good in class or helping the teacher. And with this at the end of the week they can buy real toys in the main office or buy stuff from other kids like a flee market at school on Fridays.Well my son (10 years old in 4th grade) wanted to make more money so he decided he was going to sell secrets he knows about people, but in order to buy from him the secret about someone specific you would also have to tell him a secret about yourself... That is in case someone tells on him he will "spill the beans".I'm not sure if this is something that's been already happening at other schools but this is the first time I've heard of a school black market. And in the 4th grade. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jHAIb1

Explaining Death to 2 Year Old

I have a very bright 2 year old, he'll be 3 next month. My grandfather is dying. He might have a couple days left. I've been super sad and let my son know that it's because my grandfather is very sick. He knows my grandfather and likes him very much.I know it's been discussed here. I can't seem to recall the advise. And I can't really find the threads. Link to them if you can. But how do I explain death to a kid this age? We are not religious people.Thanks. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jt8rBH

I was given two courtside tickets to an NBA game. I have two sons (9 and 12) who are equally obsessed with basketball. How should I handle this?

I recently was given the opportunity to use my company's CFO's court side tickets to a game in which he couldn't attend.I have three children, a daughter (12) who couldn't care less about basketball, and her twin (12) and younger brother (9), both rabid Wizards fans. My plan is to take one of my boys, but have no idea how to handle this situation in the fairest way possible. They both love basketball, and we try to attend a game or two every season, being a highlight of the year for them. Though, I've never gotten tickets even close to court side.Right now, after thinking out all possibilities, I'm planning on taking a buddy of mine and leaving the kids at home to keep from causing any issues between them or between us. Though, I'd much rather be there with one of my boys and I know it would make their life.Thoughts? Sorry if this isn't what the sub is for, I'm not too heavy of a Reddit user, but I want to know what other parents think of my situation. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2khxpsp

How I Handled My Daughter Wanting To Be A Baby Again Like Her New Baby Brother

After we had our son, my 3+ yr old daughter wanted to be a baby again. She was seeing her new little brother was getting all this special baby attention she used to get, etc. She started wanting to sit in his seats, which then progressed to her acting increasingly like a baby.I asked her if she wanted to be a baby again, to which she exclaimed a resounding, 'Yes!'. I tried to explain to her all of the great things about being a big and growing kid like her that her little brother couldn't do -- eating all of the yummy food instead of just yucky formula, being able to run and jump around and play with big kids, being able to play more games with mommy and daddy and enjoy more places, being able to talk to us so we can understand each other, etc -- saying that if Gabriel had the choice and understood then he'd probably rather be a big kid like her.It wasn't working. She still wanted to be a baby.So I asked her, 'Are you sure? If you want to be a little baby again, then okay, you can be a baby, but you can' t pick and choose what being a baby means. That means everything about being a baby, no more big girl stuff.' She was definitely excited and looking forward to it. It was time to eat soon, and she was hungry, so I said, 'Okay, since you're a baby, you only get to have baby formula in a bottle, like Gabriel (her brother), and that's all you ever get to eat.'She said, 'Okay!'So I went and made a bottle for her, picked her up and held her like a baby and everything, and gave her the bottle. She started to drink it and winced. I could tell she (obviously) absolutely hated it. I said, 'Mrmmm! It's good, huh?! Babies love their formula and its all they ever get to eat! You like it, right?' She tried to force an, 'Uh-huh'. I went to give it to her again, calling her bluff.She tried it one more time and pushed it out of her mouth and spit it out. She said, 'Ugh, I want real food!'I said, 'I'm sorry baby, I don't understand baby talk. But I've got a bottle for food if you're hungry, and that's all babies can eat, so here you go!' I motioned the bottle towards her and she yelled, 'Eww, no! I hate being a baby, I want to be a big girl again!'Problem solved. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2khaXPw

11 y/o son upset I had a beer at lunch.

Does anybody have advice on what to say to my son? His mother and I have been divorced for several years but my relationship with my son has often been strained by parental alienation syndrome as a result of his mother's rage against me. Today we went snow tubing and stopped for lunch afterwards. I ordered a beer and when the waiter brought it he became agitated. I tried to reassure him that one beer would not impair me but he just got more and more upset as lunch progressed. He said he heard in DARE that I was putting him at risk. We finished lunch, I didn't finish the beer, and now I don't really know what to do moving forward. I only rarely have 1-2 drinks around him and only at meals. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this moving forward? I want to demonstrate to him that it's OK for grown ups to drink in moderation and that my driving is not impaired by 1-2 drinks over the course of a meal. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kI2dmF

Struggles since becoming a parent (need advice)

I read a lot of news and I've always been interested in forensic psychiatry and the human psyche. My childhood wasn't the best but I'm in therapy which has helped me a lot.I read an article about journalists interviewing pedophiles. The article described some of the material and it stuck with me, I'd say I read it about a month ago. I have trouble sleeping I just keep thinking about those poor children and what I would love to torture the awful human beings capable of such evil.Since becoming a parent myself these things fuck me up bad, if a child dies in a movie it sticks with me for weeks. Does anyone else experience this? I guess I'm just seeking advice on how to cope with these feelings. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jGeIgL

2 year old and newborn- advice and tips

Hello r/parenting!I have a 2.5 year old. My husband and I have made the decision to try for a second in a couple months to get everything situated. Meaning, promotion for husband, second car, quitting bad habits, etc. Since we are in the preparation stage, does anyone have tips for having a toddler and an infant? Experiences? Appreciate anything and everything. Thanks! 😊 via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2js2ODN

Should I leave the house more often?

So I have a 10 month old girl and she's amazing. I'm a young (26) SAHM and with the winter and constant rain I don't leave the house much. We have a strict schedule with her that she loves and hates when we break it. But yesterday I got sick of staying home and took her to the pool. It was amazing, we didn't stay there very long because she got tired quickly but she loved it and she loves meeting new people. So is it important that I take her out more? I've been thinking of enrolling in Gymboree. Good idea? My hubby think she's fine but I'm the type of person that's never happy and keeps thinking of how to make things better. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kgjWRi

Being a parent in light of current events

Six years ago there was discussion on whether or not to have a kid. The positives, the negatives, the changes to our life, the challenges that would surely follow, the course our lives would take if we did not have a child. "This world is a pretty strange place. Are we sure we want to bring a child into this world?" We weighed the options, we decided that all things considered that it would be, in general, a good thing.In the past two weeks it has suddenly become very difficult to look to my little girl, think of current events happening, and wonder if this wasn't a terrible world to bring a child into. With each day that goes by, I find myself asking the question of "Why did we do this? What kind of future is she going to have in this mess?" These are not anxious worries I ever thought I'd be having as a parent.Looking to see if anyone else is working through similar self questions. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2js69CQ