Parents of independent adult children: How did the whole "launching" bit go with your kids?

We have an 18 year old daughter. She is currently working part time and still in high school (senior year). She wants to go full time at work as soon as she graduates and then probably attend the local state college part time. I've told her as long as she's working full time and/or attending college, she is welcome to live at home as long as she wants. I do want her to pay her own personal bills though -- does this sound appropriate? Currently we fully support her. I think paying her phone bill, car insurance, and maybe buying some food or something (for herself, not to feed the whole house) would be fair. What are some other ways I can start to prepare her for getting out on her own? She's got a savings account that she's been putting a chunk of her pay into every week, which is for a car and eventually a house/condo. Any other ways I can get her ready? We don't want to MAKE her leave but we also don't want her to be unprepared. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2zEczI5

Online educational game sites for kids recommendations?

I remember I found some a couple years ago but can't find them now. Can anyone recommend good fun online educational games for kids 6+? Something that teaches them but is also somewhat fun. Paid or free is fine. Looking for something that is just really good and don't have to sift through to find good/appropriate games. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kgYoWF

3rd Grade daughter having a hard time at a new school making friends because of cliques.

Hi! I've never posted here before but I was hoping to get some advice. We recently moved because of work and my 8 year old daughter who had some really great friends before seems to be having a hard time making a good friend or really finding a "group." I started realizing that she seemed lonely about a month ago, which is so sad to me because of how sweet and friendly she is. My daughter is one of the kindest, most gentle and caring kids I've ever known and I'm wondering if that's partly what's to blame. I think there are a lot of cliques in this grade and as an outsider, she's having a hard time being assertive and as a result, she's fading into the background. She loves to read but lately, her books are her only friends. I got her into brownies and I went tonight to help out and although she was friendly with everyone and accepted by everyone for the most part, the two girls who she claims are her closest friends spent the whole meeting ditching her. (Not that is should matter) but my daughter is an attractive, clean kid with nothing "weird" about her so there's no obvious reasons why these girls were being jerks. Of course, my daughter is also too kind to understand that they were ditching her all night, so she still considers them her "friends." I have asked her to have a friend over, but she said she doesn't know who to invite. I plan on going back to help out at brownies again (if nothing else I can sit with her or maybe trip those snotty girls s/). But what advice can you give on how to help? I've noticed her shrinking into herself and she has so much to offer. She is just lonely and I'm trying to figure out what else to do. Thanks! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2zSLc19

How to terrify a mom (but it all turned out OK)

So my high school daughter and I were at a college recruitment event tonight. We were leaving, and I called home and told my wife we were heading home, and would be back in about 30 minutes. And about 25 minutes later, just before we arrived home, a police officer showed up at our door and rang the doorbell. "Mrs. Graptemys?" he said. "Yes..." The officer then said, "Your daughter was in a collision..." My poor wife said she had no idea what was going on and began to panic. The officer continued, "...a few months ago. And some of the paperwork has been misplaced and we are trying to close out the case file..." My daughter was in fact in a wreck a while back, and we were fine tonight, and pulled up in the driveway when the officer was still there. Once I was told what was going on, I suggested that he lead with "A few months ago..." next time. Apparently the officer had tried to call me several times as well, and the number showed up as No Caller ID, and also came while I was in the meeting. So, fun times... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2it0Pok

How much should a preschool teacher (5 yr old son's) intervene when there are peer conflicts in the classroom?

I tried a previous post but I wasn't getting constructive comments so I'll try to explain and give more general information on the situation.My son is almost 5, and he attends a church preschool that has a 3 hour morning class, 30 min lunch time, and then a 3 hour afternoon class. The morning and afternoon teachers are different teachers.Last year, both his morning and afternoon teacher reported some behavioral issues. He tends to annoy other kids because he does not know how to get their attention in a more positive, engaging way. I have started taking him to a licensed play therapist once a week to help him build these skills. He's also reported to stick his tongue out at the teacher which is disrespectful. I remind him that it is very important to be respectful to his authority figures on a regular basis.This year, morning teacher has nearly zero issues, but it's the same morning teacher as last year. I believe the primary reason for the improvement is that he feels accepted and loved by his teacher. She usually comments him and asks about his weekend, etc, when he walks in which puts him immediately in a good mood and she always reports he had a really good morning and played well with others.Afternoon teacher is talking with me about once a week that he's annoying his peers doing a "pffffft" thing at them and tends to invade personal space too much. Also, his favorite annoying behavior is using "potty" words like poop and butt all the time which is understandably a nuissance. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, he has afternoon class only, so I drop him off and walk into the class to help him get settled (as most of the other parents do). Occasionally, I am able to witness some of his peer interactions. There are about 3 boys he doesn't get along with, the other 11 kids, he's fine with. I watched my son walk up into a center to play with a toy, and watched these 3 boys actually take over and he didn't know how to deal with it, so he walked away sad looking like he was about to cry. The teacher saw this, but all she did was walk up to the boys and said, "(my son) is at this center right now" and SHE WALKED AWAY. It seems to me that she maybe should have stuck around to help them resolve this?So, she reports behavior issues.... fine my kid's annoying and my husband and I are doing everything we can to raise a respectful, polite boy, but a lot of these behaviors seem to be things that need to be addressed immediately in the classroom. She keeps telling me to work with him at home, but by the time I bring the things up, he's forgotten the inappropriate exchange he's had with the peers. At least he's not just flat out pushing the kids anymore which is what he did last spring... now it's just "being annoying" like with making the "pfffft" sound at them, and one day at recess he decided to show his butt to one of the boys. (teacher told me about that...seems to have been a one time offense).He tells me quite often that the afternoon teacher and the kids don't like him. But, very interesting is this: some of these kids are also in his morning class and he gets along with them during the morning where he feels THAT teacher likes him and accepts him.tl;dr: how much should a teacher of 4/5 year olds help guide them through playing appropriately and fairly with each other? Should I consider dropping the afternoon preschool class and only keeping him in the morning class since that teacher seems to be managing his behavior much better? I also had a thought I should at least email the director of the afternoon class to let her know I'm considering dropping my son out. I only want to protect his self esteem and perhaps when he's more mature, he can be in a class with a less "intercepting" type of teacher....? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ArjR5z

Worst end to a holiday ever

It's our last day of our holiday today, meant to be driving home in 12 hours.My husband came down with a bug, had such bad sickness and upset stomach that he passed out and hit his head, ambulance had to come out for him. (He is ok, luckily)Then as the ambulance leaves, my 3 year daughter wakes up being sick and now me. I have a phobia of sick.Not sure how we will make it home! Happy Holidays :)I will laugh about this soon right? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2iuHG5i

Is 2-year sleep regression a thing or did we screw up our kid?

About two weeks ago my 23-month old daughter started waking up throughout the night periodically. Since then her behavior has deteriorated drastically and she is nearly impossible to put to sleep. Prior to this change she'd would easily go down with a bedtime story or a song or two and would sleep a full 8PM-7AM cycle. WTF IS HAPPENING?!?!?! (my wife and I are ready to tear our hair out...haven't slept more than a few hours at a time and it's almost like she's a newborn again).I guess we got complacent because she refuses to nurse, won't take her nap at the usual time, won't go down with songs/books/storytime, etc. None of the usual stuff is working. She basically ends up crying for several hours while we try to calm her down. We have tried the cry-it-out method but all she wants to do is jump around and talk and do things. She is clearly exhausted, she is fighting her eyelids to stay open but the rest of her body is in overdrive.Is the 2 year sleep regression a real thing? Any ideas what we can do to get this child to sleep??? I feel like we've tried everything. :/ via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ArjCaF

How do I get my son to stop biting?

My almost 14 month son has been biting me a lot since I started weaning him right after his birthday. I bought "Teeth Are Not For Biting" and I read it to him all the time. I tell him that teeth are not for biting and that biting hurts me and put him down when he does bite me. He cries because I put him down but then as soon as I pick him up, he bites me again.At first I attributed it to him being mad that he was being weaned but now he has been weaned for a whole month now. He bites sometimes when he is hungry or bored and I just don't know what to do anymore. Today he bit me so hard that it instantly bruised and I got a blood blister. I'm at the end of my rope. Please help, I don't want to be scared that he is going to bite me whenever I hold him.Edited to add: he doesn't bite his dad, only me via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ArHTgT

Update: I need help to pull an all nighter

I don't know how to post a link from mobile, but I'm sure you all can easily look at the old post.We've been continuing to call the association and I finally did call the fire department. The fire department said they can't do anything unless there's a fire. They did however direct me to the city water department. Which after going around and around with them, they said they can't do anything either because it has to be done from the master meter or something since the individual valve is rusted shut and they can't shut off individual apartments on that and they can't shut off the entire thing, that I need the association to do that. So we've been calling the association over and over and over and over again, probably to the point of harassment, and they said they'd have someone out here to turn off the water between 4:30-6 today. It's currently 5:10. And they said that at around noon when we finally made them realize how urgent of a situation it is. But they can't get anyone sooner because they're "busy". The association is crap though and I don't have high hopes of them even sending anyone.Thankfully my husband's training is done and we're either gonna take turns taking care of the water tonight if no one comes out, or he'll pull an all-nighter this time and call out of work.I'll update if something else happens. Thank you everyone for helping me stay up, and thank you for those who told me to call someone of authority even though it got us nowhere. I'll admit I guess me trying at least will help when it comes time to deal with insurance. They surely can't say we didn't try to get it taken care of. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2AtMQ8H

How in the hell do you get a child to stay in their room at night?

Our 4yo has her bedroom on the second floor and we're on the first floor. We had been having her door closed with a child proof thing on it and utilized a video monitor. So if she ever needed anything, she could just call us. She wasn't really coordinated enough for us to feel like she could navigate down a hallway and staircase in the dark in the middle of the night.Well, she's older, and we're trying to leave her door open at night. (Btw she doesn't need that to get to a potty or get water, she had a bathroom in her bedroom.) Nope! Every night in the middle of the night and also when she wakes up before her Time To Wake clock goes off, she turns on her lights, gets out of bed, goes running through the house, looks for the cats, plays with toys, etc. Not only does this wake us up, but she gets to be a real grouch when she doesn't sleep well. She rarely gets up very early when her door is closed, and when she does, she'll lay in bed and play with the little stuffed animal she sleeps with until it's time to get up.She knows it's wrong, she just doesn't care. She is very hyper (always hopping or spinning or anything while standing, just will not stay still) and it does take awhile for us to get her to bed. We can't keep her in there forever. But every night when we tell her to get back in bed, it's a bit of a tantrum, she says she won't do it again, we'll take privileges away, etc, but then the next night, same. Exact. Thing.I'm sure I may be doing something wrong. Or that she's a 4yo and it's just a phase we'll have to live through for a bit until she actually gets the hang of staying in her room. Can I ask for some advice as to what has worked for you all? Any bit would help. Thank you!! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2AucwSM

Having to make a tough decisions about our twins and schooling. Put them in the same class or redshirt one who is ready?

Kindergarten registration is approaching and I am having trouble deciding what to do with my younger two kids. They are "artificial twins" and are only 3 months apart. My son's birthday is in May and my daughter's birthday is in August. Both are 4 turning 5. The cutoff date is December 1st. Both will be eligible for kindergarten next year.We want them in the bilingual program at the local elementary. The kids in this program start in the same class in kindergarten and continue until sixth grade. If we start both kids on time they would be in the same class from now until sixth grade unless one of them transferred out. I know that most people recommend against having twins in the same class and we would avoid that if we could, but that seems unlikely.Our options areA) Send both kids to the bilingual program and have them be in the same classroom from kindergarten until sixth grade. If anyone has experience in doing this I would love to hear about it.B) Redshirt my daughter. I really don't want to do this because she is so ready for kindergarten. I worry about the impact of holding a kid out who is emotionally and academically ready for kindergarten.C) Send them both to kindergarten but only send one (or neither) to the bilingual program. My husband hates this option and won't even consider it. He wants both of the kids in the bilingual program.What would you do? We aren't in love with any if the options but having them in the same class seems like our best option even though it tends to be frowned upon. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2isFBXI

My youngest needed $1 for a school fundraiser.

I'm not much of a gambling man. I'll play the occasional office pool, bet $2 on a horse at Oaklawn, or maybe a challenge on someone sinking a putt (lost twice in the same round). That said, I've never felt a bigger gamble than what happened this morning. EK asks for a dollar as we're in the car line for drop off. It's for Hat Day (school fundraiser). The pressure is on, cars are stacking up, all I have is a $10. I give it to her, and remind her that I want the change. Her reply is just a wink and a grin as she closes the door. Hat Day isn't till December 15th. This is not a good sign for the next 20 years.TL:dr - My youngest daughter conned me out of $10 this morning. The house always wins. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2zTOQrl

Would you go on a 5 hour road trip with 4 kids (ages 2, 3, 4 and 8) by yourself?

Please let me know if I'm being a huge Christmas Grinch!I have 2 girls (2 and 3), and my brother's family has 2 boys (4 and 8). This year we are spending Christmas at my parents house, which is about a 5 hour drive away.We usually go for about a week, but this year I have an extra week off work so I was planning on heading up a week early with my kids. Then my husband, and my brothers family would all make the trip a week later when the adults were finished working. I was looking forward to a nice relaxing week with my kids and my parents.Now my parents and my brother have requested that I bring my nephews with me when I go a week early. This will mean a 5 hours road trip with 4 kids - which I am dreading. It will also mean that the kids will now outnumber the adults (and the ages are quite spread apart now, so they all need different activities to keep busy/happy) - so my relaxing week is now a week spent babysitting my brothers kids.But - my parents want it, my nephews get an extra week of vacation, my kids are happy when their cousins are around. I realize how selfish I'm being!What would you do? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2zS1gA8

I'm losing my ability and patience to logically deal with my kid.

I'm getting very frustrated with my 10YO kid and his actions as of late. It feels like its only getting worse when within the past three days, he was suspended from after-school care for his attitude (third time this school year), had his bus driver ask me to talk to him about his attitude on the bus and had his teacher email me about refusing to redo work because it was "just good enough," when instead of providing five paragraphs on a topic, he provided two very fragmented paragraphs.On my way to the bus stop with him this morning, I talked to him about tips to help write out paragraphs by giving numerous examples of why a fourth grader should or should not have a cell phone (the assignment topic). Access to friends and family? Give a few examples to make one paragraph. GPS and location? Give a few examples to make one paragraph. Media and Games? Give a few examples to make one paragraph.Yet, he really only focused on correcting me about a small detail about the assignment that I got wrong. He didn't care to listen about what I was saying, he was focused on making sure he pointed out I was wrong. After that, he told me his work was fine.During conferences, I'm told he's a smart kid, but if he doesn't focus and take his work seriously, he may have to repeat his current grade. I confronted him about that this morning, as well, after he basically ignored the advice I was trying to give him. I told him that he needs to take his work seriously or he may have to repeat the fourth grade. I asked if he wanted that, and his response was that he didn't know. He didn't know if he wanted to be held back or not and wouldn't care if he was teased if he was held back. And the "I don't know" answer is all I ever get - How was school? Why'd you get in trouble yesterday? Why do you feel sad?Yesterday, we had a talk about all of the issues that came about these past few days. I told him that being respectful towards other people - regardless of how we're feeling, whether we like the work or not, or whether the person is being nice or not - is what people are supposed to do to each other. But it seems like this stuff goes in one ear and out the other.I am very quickly losing my patience with him. He rushes through his work, doesn't care if it's done correctly. When we do math homework, he tells me stuff that he knows is wrong, like 8x6=4; despite having done multiplication for years. His writing is fragmented, he is disrespectful to adults, and only seems to value trivial stuff. When he focuses and does his work, he does a great job. When things go his way, he has a great attitude; but give him something he doesn't want to do and you basically need to prepare for a fight.And with me being divorced, I have no way to ensure the plan I have in place at my house happens at the other house. With my current partner busy in school, I have more house responsibilities on me, so having to deal with this is just another large item on a plate that already feels like it's pretty damn full.He is currently in therapy for his behavior, but has yet to open up to the therapist. This has been common during past therapies. No one is ever able to get information out of him.I've tried for 10 years to help mold his kid into a smart, responsible and respectful guy; but it seems lately like I've failed miserably and it's getting to the point where I feel like giving up. I know I won't; but I hate the fact that I feel this way. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2AL1XLG

Please help me - I am an abusive father

Anger is a dark and almost constant shadow but last night I hit my 13 year old son. Hard. I slapped him 4 times across his face. Later I found there was blood in his mouth.I dont want to justify because there is no justification for what I did. But I do want to tell you what happened, I think there are 3 reasons. I need to get it off my chest. I need to be villified. I need help.The day was nice, our family of 4 [wife "A", oldest son "K" 13, youngest son "R" 9 and me mid 40s] were sitting watching TV. The boys started arguing and jumping on my wife [who was ill] and not listening to her requests to stop.I felt my irritation rise. "Will you guys just STOP! Do what your other is asking, you know she is now well!" Then the oldest turned to me challenging, shouting at his brother and using foul language.My irritation progresses to mild anger. Threats of punishment [taking away privilages eg XBOX etc] only partly get him to stop. My wife wants him to try some new clothes we bought for xmas and he keeps saying "no" then "ok, i WILL!". I need to leave the room, I go to the bathroom.When i return my wife is still asking him to try the new clothes on and he is still saying "I will". No longer at mild anger. Just anger now. So I shout at him to "get up and try on the clothes!". He responds with shouts and comments like "what are you going to fing do about it?". Im telling him "thats enough, go to your room", his response is "no, you cant make me, what can you do? Ill do what I fing want"Ive left anger and am now enraged. We get into a shouting match, the atmosphere is hirrid, my wife is trying to calm me down, R is crying, K and I are shouting at each other. His next comment is the one that I reacted to with violence. And I hit him. Hard. Harder than I think. Not just once, 3, 4 times across the face. He doesnt back down and keeps going. At some point I had him by the throat. My wife is screaming at us to stop. R is traumatised, sobbing. My wife tells K to get out of the house after she cannot get him to stop screaming and shouting.K goes to our neighbour wanting to phone the police but the neighbour brings him back saying he needs to talk it out with me and his mother. My wife is too angry with K and they start arguing again, then he leaves and doesnt come back for over an hour. Its a very cold winter night and all he had on was his jumper.I cannot look at him, nor he at me. He goes to bed without another word or look to each other. This morning he leaves for school. He will be back in a copuple of hours and I dont know how to talk this out. I dont know if I deserve to talk this out with him.Its the first time I have ever done that and the shame and guilt are destroying me. I haven't cried since the death of my father 10 years ago. But today I haven't stopped. I'm ashamed of myself and my self pity. I don't know what to do. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ipc7Ka

Weekly - Things my kid said - to share all the things your kids say. - November 30, 2017

This is a weekly thread where you can share the things you're kid said to you that made you laugh/cry/go on a mad rampage.If you'd like to talk daily about things your kids say, feel free to visit /r/thingsmykidsaid via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ArGcQA

Wild tantrums in a 4 year old, what do I do?

My 4 year old is sweet, smart, and generally a good kid.But she throws these insane tantrums, usually over small things like getting dressed or doing chores. She’s my only child and I really don’t have a lot of experience with children, so while these fits seem crazy to me, my MIL says she’s just being a kid.But the thing is, I don’t know how to deal with them and I don’t know how to help her. She’ll fly off the handle about something and scream, literally screaming at the top of her lungs, and often will thrash around on the floor, crying until she’s almost vomiting. She’s like a wild animal! Usually I end up yelling or crying too!Sometimes it’s like a switch gets flipped, one minute she’s fine, the next she’s in a crying, screaming pile on the floor. At this point, I’m taking my MIL advice and leaving her in her room until the tantrum subsides. But sometimes it goes on and on for 30-45 minutes. It’s really difficult for me to have to listen to someone I love screaming and crying for that long. (I do go in to check on her every few minutes, and remind her that when she calms down she can come out). I end up a shaky anxious mess. And this happens almost every day.We’ve tried everything I can think of to get her to just follow directions without having these meltdowns and I’m at a loss.None of my friends are parents, so I don’t know who to talk to about this.Any help or advice would be appreciated. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ir8hAd

Christmas ABC Flash Cards - very very cute ones

If you use printable ABC flash cards to learn alphabet with your kid, you may want to check a special flash cards Christmas edition that our illustrator Vera (and a mom of 8 months old Misha) has prepared for all moms :) It's cool and free and the pdf link to the set is here http://ift.tt/2zQ4Ri5 if you like it, we enjoy doing beautiful things for our kids :) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2AJkO9J

The power of three

Have you ever noticed how kids wont listen to you, but when you start counting to three, they act like angels?I sure hope they won't figure out I'm not gonna do much after reaching three or else I'm screwed... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2j2tEVK

Decluttering Playroom

TLDR: Just needed to talk/ramble for a bit. Our kids have too much crap and I'm doing a major haul while everyone is asleep.Here I am, at 1:20am, decluttering my daughters' playroom. I just closed up the last bag of trash but I still have piles of crap everywhere. I have a donation pile, a keep pile, a bag pile, and a box pile. Tomorrow is trash day and I already have the trunk of my car loaded with other donations. I have picked up more of those stupid itty bitty Shopkins than I care to admit (bagged and in donation pile). I have found an entire Wal-Mart bag's worth of crayons, markers, and pencils that we all thought were lost. And when I say an entire bag, I mean filled to the brim.With the three- yes, three- bags of trash/broken items that I've already thrown out, it really makes me think just how dumb it is that we have so much crap. It's partly my fault- I hold onto some toys because they have sentimental value to me. Like their stuffed animals for their first holidays. Or some books that I enjoyed reading to them that they've since outgrown. I finally got smart and put all of those sentimental items in a box to pack away for when or if they have children of their own. There is one item currently lingering between the keep and donation piles- my boppy that I had gotten at my baby shower for my first daughter. I'm done having children (they're 8&5) but I have so many memories with it. On the other hand, I have absolutely no use for it other than as an awkward pillow. You know what...I'll just wash it and donate it. Those things are expensive. The charity that we always donate our items to is Women In Need (a women's shelter).My husband is also partly to blame for our huge toy arsenal. He is an only child, therefore was spoiled to the core. I'm a twin that was raised by my well off grandparents- we were spoiled too but not like he was. He has 2 trunks full of his childhood toys, which I found out is barely just a quarter of what he had growing up. He gave them to our daughters. At least they're being played with. The girls are fascinated with how the original Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles looked. He could probably make a decent penny if he'd just sell them off. But, I understand sentimental value. He also does not like getting rid of their toys. Any time I had tried to do a major haul he would stop me, basically saying that he always had a large amount of toys and the kids needed all sorts of different things to play with. No compromise was ever reached, so here I am.I'm partly embarrassed by all of the stuff currently sitting in the floor. My girls are spoiled, but not rotten. Both mine and hubby's families love buying them toys. I've kindly put a stop to it, or at least slowed it down, over the past couple of years. I was going insane thinking that my kids had drug everything they owned into the living room, only to see that when I would haul it back into the playroom that it wasn't even half of their stuff. This is my second major haul of their playroom. The first one was far worse due to the above mentioned hubby not willing to compromise. And you know what? Our kids didn't miss ANY of the stuff I managed to sneak out. NONE of it. And I'm willing to bet that the same will be true this time around.I'm hoping I'm not the only one here who has had to do this sort of thing. Or the only one that's embarrassed by their stock of toys. I say "embarrassed" because it stays in a constant, unorganized, can't walk without stepping on something mess. I blame my carelessness, my sentimental judgement, and my thought process of thinking that my kids just have to have all of these things so that they'll never get bored. Most days I still feel like a first time parent. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2AgRxCh

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel you've failed as a parent?

Have you ever?I am having one of those moments right now.My oldest, 18f moved out recently. She's a smart girl but is incredibly naive and gullible. She moved in with a real 'winner', and it's just been trouble since day 1. Kid doesn't have a job, does drugs, has a criminal background for assault and moved my daughter into a condemnable home (literally has a hole, the size of a VW Bug in the kitchen roof). This young man is controlling, verbally abusive and just a real waste of space overall.Today, in one of the many conversations my Wife had with her, I heard this young man yelling at my daughter though my wife's phone across the table. I finally take action and call this man and give him a very heated piece of my mind. Everything in their house, I bought them and he said to me, "You can't tell me what to do, I'm a grown ass man". My daughter is in tech school to being a vet assistant. She's been missing class ever since she moved out and I learned today that she's likely going to get kicked out at semester end because she's missed so many days this month.I hung up, spoke with my wife, and came to the painful realization that I have to let my daughter get hurt (emotionally and possibly even physically) before she will realize that she's made a grave mistake. I called the police and spoke to them, they can't help unless I chose to call them citing imminent danger.I actually have to sit back, angry mind you, and watch this scum bag turn my 5'10" blonde hair blue eyed girl into a monster and I am powerless to stop it. Where did I go wrong as a father?Sorry to rant. Thanks for listening. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2AfA6lG

Tonight I called my daughter out for lying about her usage of her Kindle tablet, and for the first time, she told me to shut up. Now that I've counted to 10, how soon can I break that fucking thing over my knee?

My daughter (11yo) keeps her door locked most of the time, and nearly every time I knock on the door, she's "changing." Tonight she finally opens her door and her Kindle is turned on, on her bed, and well after bedtime--so I tell her she needs to turn all devices off, reminding her that she knows she ought not to be occupied with these things after bedtime. She had an excuse (of course) that she uses it as an alarm and needed to check to make sure it was set, so I request that she unplug the earbuds and hand them to me. She complied. A second later, the podcast she had been listening to resumes on the speaker for both of us to hear--so I gave her some attitude for trying to get away with that lie, and that's when she told me to shut up.Sometimes I find myself in these escalating situations with my daughter, and it's getting more difficult to cool off because she's quite adept at button-pushing. Maybe not my best moment, but I immediately got in her face and asked her who the fuck (yes, I said it) she thinks she is to talk to me that way--and I could see she had absolutely no sense of remorse, she wasn't intimidated in any way, and no feeling that I could see that maybe there would be any disagreeable consequence for her.I'm mainly here to vent. She's definitely not getting the Kindle back for a long time. I very much wanted to break it, but I haven't (yet). Honestly, I know that doing so would come back to hurt both of us--as I can easily imagine her permitting herself to throw or break something during our next disagreement, all because I modeled it for her in the first place. However, tomorrow morning she'll find the Roku as well as the PS4 controllers have disappeared in addition to her Kindle, so she doesn't have alternative means of watching the entertainment she chooses.(Aside: the Kindle was a gift from another family member--I probably wouldn't have bought her one myself)I don't know how long I'll keep things this way. The thing is, she watches so much YouTube that I was going to force her to cut down anyway, so now I'm inclined to significantly limit her access to electronics for the forseeable future. Have any other parents out there had to deal with a teen/pre-teen's overuse of smart devices or social media?P.S. Daughter kindly drew a cartoon panel of her version of the story. Perhaps I'll post it. Spoiler: She's the hero. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2zDHrbD

14-yr-old daughter who doesn't do homework

I apologize for the long post. My daughter is a 9th grader, and is currently only passing 2 classes with a C. She has 3 D's and 2 F's. She either doesn't do her homework/schoolwork, or if she does actually do it, it is done halfway and with little effort. She is not stupid. She stays after school 2-4 times a week to get help with work, yet the trend of not doing her work continues in all classes. She can be easily distracted, but she was tested for ADHD at 4 yrs old and we were told she didn't have it. She doesn't communicate well with us without getting frustrated. We had counseling done for over 6 months with no results, as well as problems with her continuously lying to us about who she was with and what she was doing. I know a lot of this is "normal" teenage stuff, but I don't know how else to help get her back on track academically. She has lost her phone, laptop, TV and is essentially grounded until her grades come up, and it's made no difference. She has also been told that I will delay her getting her license for a year if she doesn't pass 9th grade...again, no change. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation that may have some advice for me? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2Ag67tN

I need help on how to pull an all-nighter as a mom

Long story short our neighbors pipe broke and it's leaking into our house (live in a condo), and they can't turn the water off till tomorrow when someone can come out cause the valve is rusted shut.It's a very bad leak, I have a rainbow vacuum to help when the water puddles up real bad, and I have to change the towels against the wall like every 20 min or it starts to flood again. My husband has to get up really early for work tomorrow for a training session, so he cant help, so I'm on my own on keeping this under control until it's turned off hopefully tomorrow.Problem is, I'm a mom to a rambunctious almost 2 year old.... of course I'll be able to nap when she does tomorrow, but she only does one nap now and that's not till noon. So how am I supposed to pull this all-nighter? I have lots of soda and energy drinks and coffee and even caffeine pills, but I'm usually in bed at 10 and it's 11:30 and I'm exhausted. Maybe I can take power naps between each time I need to do something with the water?I can't go for a walk or anything like that cause it's a dangerous neighborhood at night. And even if I make it through the night how am I supposed to feel up to taking care of my daughter tomorrow when I'll be too tired to move? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2i4FSwg

My 6 y.o. (M) and 8 y.o. (F) are both tall and thin for their ages, which makes finding clothes for them a P.I.T.A.

SAHD of 4 here. I’ve yet to find any brand that caters to their body types. Shirts, shorts and pants are always either too short or too big. We try our best to be body positive, but ‘round here, these kids aren’t of age to be proudly displaying their genetically gifted washboard abs (I swear, they don’t do a single damn sit-up, but they get to look like they attend ToddlerFit. Damn youth and metabolism). Also, we love bacon as much as any red blooded American should (as required by the Constitution), but when given the choice between high-water jeans that make them look like a Hipster who hasn’t quite figured out skinny jeans yet, and yanking the shit out of that embedded elastic band so hard it looks like a perfectly cooked bacon belt (saved you the “is that a thing?” Google), I’m a little over it in denim form.Anyone else have this issue? Where do you shop? If you find an online source, you’d be our Enrique Iglesias’ 2003 hit ballad.If you sew/alter your kids clothes, I commend you (and the 8th grade science project on which you likely spent way too much time and energy), but we ain’t got (don’t want to make) time for that.I’ll take my answer off the air. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2Bm9LQ1

Joy of Cooking.... for toddlers

Texts from DH while I work late:"I got (3 yo) to take one bite of chicken tonight praise sweet bèbè Jesus."There was much crying involved. And screaming. And giving pieces to (1 yo) instead. And demanding popsicles. And pretending to take a bite. And taking a tiny bite before spitting it back out. But finally he bit that chicken, and he swallowed it." via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2zBPBBq

What do we NEED to keep a newborn alive for 7 days? (Expecting via adoption.)

We finished our home-study (yay!) and are expected to be matched with a newborn in about 4 months, but it could be next week, or in 8 months. Because of the uncertainty of adoption, we are following the advice of our agency to not put together a nursery until 7 days after a baby has been placed with us. (In our state, birth mom has 7 days to decide to parent and it would be very painful to have a house full of baby stuff staring at us if birthmom changed her mind after a week with a baby.)But because many matches at our agencies are instant placements ("We have a baby for you. Come get it.") we need to have the absolute basics ready to go. So before we buy the fun stuff, what do we actually NEED to have on hand for those first 7 days?We're first time parents so we're feeling a bit clueless. Thank you! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2i0k0lv

Should I feel bad for my sons mother getting her license suspended over late child support?

I am a single father and take care of my 3 year old son.His mom has another child and is currently pregnant.She has been working part time so hasnt had the money to pay child support to me for awhile.Anyways, she now owes over 2k and they are now going to suspend her license and I feel bad, but should I? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2inoJlj

Moments when you realize how much parenting has changed your life!

So, today, I realized how much of my day to day life has changed. Of course, it's pretty obvious that your life changes once you have children, but sometimes it takes certain moments to really make those changes palpable and for you to really realize how different things are, for better and for worse! Today, my SIL, who lives down the street offered to spend the day with my daughter bc she was off work and wanted to give me some time to catch up on errands or whatever else I needed to do. I took was thrilled and took her up on the offer, as I'm a stay at home mom who lives away from family (other than SIL) who rarely gets a break from parenting. I really didn't have much I needed to do today errands wise, so I decided I'd catch up on laundry and cleaning. I have also been really craving some down time to destress, so I was ecstatic that this opportunity presented itself! She leaves, and I get to it. Once I was done cleaning, i had this moment where i was like, "What the heck should I do, and what the heck did I used to with free time at home!" Now, I've been away from my daughter on short trips, and date nights, etc, but I think this might be the first time where I was home for more than 2 hours without her here. The silence was extremely notable! Also, being able to walk into a different room without being chased. Or take my time in the bathroom. It really hit me how much everything has changed! It is just what i needed, but it just feels soooo strange! It's like I had completely forgotten what my life used to be like! Has anyone had any moments like this where they realize just how different things are? I dont mean to imply that im a completely different person or anything like that, but it's crazy to think about how much my day to day experience of life has changed!Edit: I should add that my daughter is 2 so she is in a more demanding stage! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2jxasPc

My high energy toddler got kicked out of swimming lessons because he won't listen. What can I do?

My son is 3.5 years old, and currently attends daycare at a YMCA where swimming lessons are provided for the children. Today I got a phone call that they were kicking him out of lessons.A little about him, he’s so high energy. I’m sure every parent feels this way, but I can’t stress just how high energy he is. Everyone always comments on how energetic he is, especially day care providers, who spend most of their day with children. I’m always exhausted trying to keep up with him. I love my son to death, but his high energy makes me hate being a parent. And that makes me feel like a bad mom.He also sometimes has issues with focusing, especially when he’s distracted or excited. Again, typical toddler, but combined with the high energy it’s extra frustrating. When we let him watch TV, which is usually about an hour a day, we struggle to get his attention. That’s pretty normal, but even when we try to talk to him face to face he won’t make eye contact and doesn’t seem like he’s really paying attention to what you’re saying. Maybe I’m just reading too much in to it, but I swear everything I say goes in one ear and out the other.He got a warning in swimming class for rough-housing with the boys, so they switched him to another group. The next time he got another warning for dunking kids under the water and not listening. Finally, today, he got kicked out of swimming lessons permanently because he got out of the pool and started running around the deck near the deep end, ignoring the instructor.I’m at a loss of what to do. I can only sit him down so many times and explain that he needs to listen, and have him agree with me. I’m hoping that not getting to go swimming will maybe have something click for him, but I seriously doubt it will. I don’t know how to make him listen.Should he see a doctor? Does he have ADD? Is it something in our parenting method? Should we cut him off from all screen time (he doesn’t use a tablet)? How can I burn his energy effectively?He’s completely healthy, and has no disorders that we know of at least. Am I just being crazy? Has anyone ever had a toddler/pre-schooler that was high energy with low attention/focus? How did you survive? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ijMTgl

Visits from grandparents

Vent/ asking for advice.My family has a bit of a situation. My husband and i live 360 miles away from our home town in Southern California, where a majority of our family still lives. We moved to here, California's Central Valley, in 2008 for the family business. My husband works for his Uncle and, at the time, his Grandpa. Uncle had moved here two years earlier with Crazy Aunt and their little girl. Grandpa passed in late 2008 and left the business to Uncle who has cut my husbands salary multiple times. We got married in 2009, shortly before the first of the paycuts, but we were still making enough to keep our heads above water, though serious sacrifices had to be made. Fast forward to 2011. My husband and I had our first child, we'll call him Tank, in September if 2010. In August of 2011, we took the plunge and purchased our home. Led than 6 months later, Uncle and crazy Aunt secretly bought a house in Idaho, and didn't tell ANYONE until the week they moved. My husband found out when he showed up to work one morning and was informed that he would need to help load their house and all the business stuff and help Uncle drive everything to the new place. He ended up being gone for 2 weeks on less than 24 hours notice. Essentially, we were stuck here with no family within 300 miles.My husband and I sat down and figured out how many visits we've made to our home town. 150 since 2008. A majority of those have been since we started having kids. Tank was born in 2010. Our little girl, Squishy, was born in 2014. We have traveled there for every major holiday. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, 4th of July, you name it. We have even had both of the kids birthdays, every year, in our home town so that family can be there. We have hosted one Christmas, in 2015, and it started a war. My husband and I, since we started dating in 2003, have been the ones that organize, cook, decorate and clean everything up at his Grandma's house for all of these events. His grandma is one of those women that is very into appearances. He house is huge and she has the best of everything money can buy. So we have to cook and decorate to her tastes. And its not unusual to have 30+ people at her Christmas Eve party that is supposed to be "Family Only." My husband's cousins, when they can be bothered to show up, often invite their in-laws, their friends or people they work with with very little notice. Grandma is fine with his as it makes her look good.My husband and I decided that we want to have Christmas at our house again. And its started a war. When we did this in 2015, we gave an open invitation to everyone in the family. My in-laws, Grandma and my husbands younger brother were the only ones that came. His cousins, aunts and uncles made a big fuss about us ruining a tradition. Whatever.Now what I need help on is this. I stated above that we have made 150 trips since 2008, never missing a single holiday down there. We want to stay here this year. What took my husband and I 5 hours to drive before kids has now turned into an 8 hour day I. The car with Tank, 7, and Squishy, 3, and our 45lb family dog, Jazz. We have to either ship all their Santa gifts down there, then wrap them after we arrive, or try to hide them in the car and sneak them inside when the kids aren't looking. I'm tired and worn out.For perspective, my in-laws have made 23 trips up here since 2008.Now, I understand that a 5 hour car trip is not anyone's idea of a good time, but this year alone, we've made 13 trips down there between January and May. My Dad passed away on February 10th, we lost my mom in August of 2013. So a majority of the trips were to deal with funeral stuff and cleaning out their storage units. But we stay at my in laws house at their insistence. They have come up to visit once.They missed both kids birthdays this year. They didn't come up at all for summer. I call them every Sunday, but they never ask to talk to the kids. My mother in law has 2 years of sick time and 3 years worth of vacation time saved up, but won't take any time off of work unless its for a trip she wants to do. That's usually for her and Grandma to go watch Elvis Impersonators. She doesn't like taking any time off because she has convinced herself that her coworkers will talk crap about her if she isn't there. Shocker, its because that's what she does.I've always been very close to my in-laws. My husband and I have been friends since we were 4. We grew up living less than one mile from each other, and his parents have always loved me and I them. I don't understand how we even got to this point. The entire family, with the exception of out of state relitives, is pissed that we don't want to come down. Either way, we have to cook and decorate, and while we make the least amount of money out of everyone else ($26k yearly) we're expected to do all of the traveling and are the bad guys because of this.Tank is old enough to realize something isn't right. He's started asking questions. Why don't Grandma and Grandpa come to visit us? Why won't grandma take off work? Do they not like us anymore? Did we do something wrong?My husband thinks I should cut off all communication with them until Christmas. No Sunday calls, no texting, no pictures on Facebook. They get really upset over if I don't regularly update. My MIL is technology challenged, will not comment or "like" anything on Facebook, but will call and have me send specific pictures to her local Costco for printing so she can show them off to all her Non friends at work. I can't do that. It seems so cruel to me to cut off contact with them. Yes, I'm mad, but my kids deserve to have their grandparents in their lives. Its the only grandparents they have left.It seems to me that they want all the perks of being grandparents without having to put in any of the effort.Am I out of line? Is this Ann unrealistic expectation on my part? I grew up with my moms parents living with us until they passed away, so I got to see them every day. My husbands grandparent live less than 20 miles away and they saw each other several times a week. My kids have only spent the night away from me once, when I had to go out of town for a funeral in June. I'm a stay at home mom because we can't afford childcare. Our nearest family member lives 300 miles away. We save all of our money for our trips down there. We don't go on vacations, I don't get my hair professionally cut and I don't get my nails done. We don't take vacations, we don't eat out, both of our cars are older (hubby drives a '97 mustang and I drive a 2008 Town and Country mini van And both cars are 100% paid off), I darn socks and patch jeans, if we need it, we make it, if we can't make it, we buy it used. We have 1 credit card with a $500 limit. We cut and scrimp in every way we can just to make sure we can go visit family. I just feel like we are being taken advantage of. Hubby can't leave his job. The minute he does, Uncle will sell off the whole thing, and Grandma relies on her meager pension from the business to survive. Hubby is trying to keep things afloat until grandma passes so she isn't thrown into poverty.Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Am I the one out of line? Is this normal for families that live this far apart?I apologize for any errors above. I'm on my phone and it keeps acting up. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2AnPk8s

Do you wake your toddler in the mornings?

Our 22-month-old son tends to wake up at 8:30AM, bright and cheerful.The thing is, his daycare/school starts at 9:00.He is consistently "late" and the last student to come in.Should we wake him up earlier? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ikW1Bu

Etiquette regarding clean up during a visit?

My kids are still young, 4 and 1. When you're at someone else's house, just your family and theirs, what do you all generally do about cleaning up toys? Do you leave it be, do it yourself, or have the kids do it (my kids would need direct instruction and supervision for it still), or something else? I've tried several ways and it always feels awkward. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2AlzVFM

My daughter and I like to write Wrongness Shopping Lists and leave them in shopping trolleys, help me think of things to write on them.

We write lists like so:Bread One Left Shoe Caterpillar Spread Slime Juice The music of the forest An orange Bums CrispsThen the 7yo plants them in shopping trolleys. Obviously, we're comedy geniuses. Help me think of more things to put on the lists? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ikWNhN

Mornings are Hard - a Haiku

The bus pulls awayThe bitter taste of my wordsLingers on my tongueYeah... Lame... I know. But does anyone else have mornings when they wish they could chase after their kids bus to hug them again and tell them how sorry you are for being upset or distracted or whatever? I am the worst parent/person in the world. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2iis30Q

I only want one child, but why do I feel so guilty... also, why is everyone asking when baby #2 will come?

My daughter is 18 months old, and the last couple of months has been hard. I suffered from severe PPD and our marriage almost ended because of it. We went for couple's therapy which helped a bit and our relationship has improved. I can't imagine going through the newborn phase again, having to cope with a toddler and a baby, besides our daughter is still not sleeping through the night. There are so many reasons I do not want another child (I am also 35). I feel like a terrible person for not wanting to give my child a sibling, but I am almost certain that it would be a bad idea. Everyone that was pregnant the same time as me already had their second child and people won't stop asking when our second will arrive! I would like to hear from other parents of only children if they ever regretted their decision, also if only children really do grow up lonely and spoiled? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2Bvi253

Weekly- Wallet Wednesday- November 29, 2017

This is a weekly thread where you can share pictures of your children and cute, crazy or awful things they have done. Please upload your pictures through Imgur and post the link as a comment. Feel free to share the context of the picture! If you are not a parent yourself, this is the place to ask us anything. Also, if you ever wonder who we are, click here to meet the mod team! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2k9goSK

Remember to practice what you preach

This morning was an eye opener, my toddler does listen to me! I have a 2 year old little girl for context.I was lay in bed with my daughter and she found a sock at the side of the bed, she tries to put it on and once she's conquered it she passes the sock to me.I scrunch it up in a ball and throw it at my laundry basket, cue my toddlers reaction.."No no, no mummy! No throwing" all said with the sassy little finger in the air and displeased eyes.I was kinda shocked because I clearly have to remind her not to throw her toys, I'm so surprised that she does listen to what I say, that was the first time she's ever said anything like that and I have to say I laughed a little and felt kinda proud.So yes practice what you preach because these little beings are secretly listening to everything you say and do! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ihzzck

Aggressive bedtime routine, how do I break the habit?

When it’s time for my 14mo daughter to go to bed, I basically just lay with her until she puts herself to sleep. She wants to nurse, and then wants to sleep, but no cuddles or anything. Just wants me in the room.Lately she has started to rub her forehead against mine when she starts to get tired, which would be cute, if it didn’t start off with her full force slamming into my face. She also will do this to the bed room wall as we’re laying in bed.How the heck do I break her of this before she seriously hurts herself or me? I show her how to be gentle with the rubbing, and all of that. She gets so mad if I deny the head rubs, I get the front of my hair pulled and she scratches at my face. I tell her, that hurts mommy and to use nice hands, and she totally gets it! She softly strokes my face and makes sweet noises. But man! She totally beats me up with these head rubs. I’d love some help before I have to go to the ER for a broken nose hahaha via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2Ak8Mmw

What to do when your kid is the outcast?

My 8 year old son, Jack, isn't a popular kid in school, and it's always been that way. Since going into school at four, he has never been invited to many birthday parties (and less now since at this age they don't invite the whole class), has never been invited for many playdates and, until this year, I've never heard him talk about hanging out with the kids at school. My husband and I think this is because he can be a little overwhelming. He is that kid in your class who just tried too hard to be familiar and funny when he wasn't, combined with some insecurity over not being a great athlete or taking much interest in sports, in general. We've tried to teach him some social skills in this area -- just keeping your cool a bit, don't boast, etc but he is who he is and, mostly he is just a lovely kid who can be a bit enthusiastic. I don't want to change him.Now, as far as I know, he isn't being picked on. They're not mean to him. They just leave him out of things because they aren't friends. There were more group activities during recess when they were younger, but now that they're in the third grade, they have all gone off into their own groups, often leaving Jack out. We've asked Jack and his teachers and there doesn't seem to be any outward bullying, just no one he could call a friend.When we have asked him the past about making friends, having kids over the house for playdates and how he feels about hanging out at recess alone, he always said he doesn't mind, he likes being alone, he likes to spend time thinking, he likes the quiet etc, etc. We decided not the press the issue at the time because he really is a happy kid normally. He does like to spend time by himself, even when at home. He likes the quiet. He does very well in school academically, and is consistently praised by his teachers for being kind, funny and motivated to do good work. He laughs and smiles and plays. On the surface, there was no real issue.This year, the one kid that he did make friends with in his after-school program, Matthew, has joined his school and is in his class. They didn't see much of each other the previous year because Matthew left the after school program before second grade. Matthew's mother and I tried to get them together the past year when we could, and when we heard Matthew would be joining the class, we were thrilled. Jack would have a friend! An actual friend! This is great, right?Well, kind of. Matthew is like Jack - smart, driven to do well... and a bit obnoxious. They get silly together a lot (which is normal) but bring it to the extreme (which is off-putting). Jack was a little like this before. With Matthew, he is a lot like this because that's Matthew's default mode. Even when I've seen Jack turn it down around other people, Matthew seems to turn it up. I can see the other kids shy away from Matthew, and in turn, they have shied away even more from Jack. No playdates made, no birthday invites extended, no playing at recess with anyone but Matthew.So, I'm not sure what to do. I'm stuck. He's so happy that Matthew is there now. He's so happy to have a friend and, even though I find Matthew tiring, Jack truly loves him and his company. He has admitted to us now that he was pretty lonely in school in the past but that it's better now that Matthew is here. I suggest hanging out with other kids in school as well as Matthew but I understand that it's difficult for him since they were never very accepting to begin with and that they don't want to hang out with Matthew at all. He wonders what he did wrong and why the other kids don't like him. I'm just at a loss. What do I do for my kid who wants friends but just can't seem to make any? Any advice from parents who have been in this situation would be so appreciated. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2iizVPO

Tonight while shopping for shoes and a cot for my 10 yr old daughter she announced that she wants to start wearing boys clothes and be referred to as Matthew or Matt.

(I meant shoes and a coat)Without missing a beat, I said “Ok let’s go look at the coats in the Young Men’s section.” While looking at the selection and trying on a few coats we talked and I asked her why she wanted to make this change. “Some kids at school ask me if I am a boy or a girl. I just don’t want to deal with it anymore.” She continued to talk about how she had been thinking about this for a while. She hadn’t told anyone about it. She expressed anxiety about telling her dad. She wanted me to tell her siblings as soon as we returned to the house. “Well, let’s think about this a bit. You just told me 15 minutes ago. I think you and I should talk about it some more.” I explained that making a choice like that, whether temporary or permanent, is a big adjustment for the people around her. It’s one thing to change the kind of clothes you wear. It’s another thing entirely to ask people to refer to you by a different name. I encouraged her to think about it. I asked her to write down why she wants to change. What has prompted this. How long she has felt this way, and what worries her about making these changes. She cried about telling her dad. (We have been divorced most of her life)I think that since she finally revealed this to me, now she just wants to “make it so”. I am inclined to caution her and make her think it through a bit more. If she is having trouble with 5th grade classmates asking her is she is a boy or a girl, how will they react when she announces she wants to be called Matthew?What would you do? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2zOBr42

Parents bloggers who write every private detail about their kid(s) in blogs.Why do you do it and how would you have felt if your parents had written and published a book about your every struggle and other private things about you as a child back in the day?

http://ift.tt/2AhBW68 via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2i0vrtG

Entertainment expenses

Today we've spent $21AU on entertainment, not including food and drinks. This is a very usual day. It only seems significant when I think of it as 1 hours wages or $105 a week. It could otherwise grow to be significant savings.How much do you spend entertaining the kids? What does a usual week look like between free activities and paid special activities?NOTE: please include your currency type in your comment so we can compare accurately. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2AeqSWL

I thought my 5 year old to ride a bicycle!

This Sunday, I taught my 5 year old to ride a bicycle without training wheels for the first time. The moment I let go of the bicycle and he continued riding it (without falling down) was one of the most exciting moments I experienced as a father, and in life in general. It has been two days since it happened and I am still thinking about it continuously, smiling and talking to everyone I know about it. I am slightly surprised how strongly I felt about the event. I taught my kids all kinds of stuff to date, but nothing ever felt as good as this.Share and celebrate in this joy with me! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2AhhrXa

Am i right to have become angry with my mother???

My husband and i rarely if ever get to go out. We do other things but mostly our childcare is only available during the day and not at night.Anyway, tonight we went out and had dinner and then to see a comedian about a 30 minute drive from where we live.My mother is our prime source of childcare. (Again - we do not go out regularly). We made the plans a few weeks ago and said we'd be leaving for the dinner about 6ish and that the show started at 8pm finished at 10.05. Half an hours drive back etc.I have 2 children. 1 is 7 the other has just turned 3. The 3 year olds bedtime is 6.30 The 7 year olds bedtime is 7pm on a school night she is allowed to read a book for 20 minutes or so if she wants to.I said all of this and my mother knew this before we went out.Got back at 10.45pm.to find both kids wide awake and watching Youtube videos. My eldest was absolutely exhauseted. My mum said she couldnt get them to sleep, she didnt know how to get them to sleepturn off the youtube maybeI said it was unacceptable ESPECIALLY on a school night! and that she could have just got them a milk and a blanket, turned off everything for 20 minutes and let them fall where they lie (she wouldnt have been able to get them upstairs)She is staying the night tonight and things are going to be awkward in the morning if i dont speak to her about it without shouting tomorrow.What should i have said? Should i have lost it? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ieBDC1

Teacher has reached out to my twice about my son wearing shorts to school. Is she over the line?

We live in New York. My son either rides a bike or skateboards to school everyday. He refuses to wear anything other than basketball or skateboard style shorts. He has jeans and joggers in his closet but refuses to wear them. I have given up on this battle and even if I tried to enforce it, he leaves after me and would change when I left. I figure that if he gets cold, then it is his problem. Natural consequences, right?One of his teachers called me in early November about him wearing shorts. I explained to her that I am aware and that I don't consider it to be an issue. She seemed a little surprised but agreed to stop bugging him about it. I got another call today about him wearing shorts from the same teacher. I asked if he was complaining about being cold and she admitted that he never complained, but that it's getting cold out and she wanted to check in again.I feel like this is ridiculous. I teach as well and know that she is looking out for signs of abuse or neglect, but my son clearly isn't being neglected. He said that he isn't the only one who wears shorts to school still. I am worried about how she'll react when it's snowing and he shows up in shorts. Anyone else think this is a little too much?Edit: First "my" should say "me." via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2idsr0z

I don't really know why I'm posting this, I just need some support from people who understand

Tonight, I cuddled up with my 4 & 7yr old to get them off to sleep (we co-sleep sometimes, their favourite place to be is their mama's bed ❤️). The girls were chatting away and I wasn't really paying attention until my oldest, L said to my LO "S, do you know what to do if there's a lockdown at school?" Naturally I was curious so asked her what she was talking about and she told me they've been having drills at school to make sure they understand the lockdown procedure.For a little bit of context, my country has experienced a lot of terror attacks this year, one of which children were deliberately targeted. It makes complete sense that they have a plan in place for an event like this and I'm so glad the school are prepared. This post is not bashing them.Back to my kids. My oldest told me how they know a drill has begun but if it was a real lockdown they'd know because they'd see the person or animal running around... L then told me during the last drill she'd had to tell one of S's little friends what to do because she didn't understand what was happening.... My heart is breaking. All I can think about is how scary & confusing it would be, especially for the little ones. They're so innocent & sweet and this has just reminded me of how vulnerable they are and that even though I feel like they're safe when they're at school they're really not. It makes me want to never let them leave the house again which I know can't happen. I don't really know what the purpose of this post is, I just need a pep talk because the world is so fucked up and scary and I just want my babes (and every other child) to be safe. via /r/Parenting https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/7g8byg/i_dont_really_know_why_im_posting_this_i_just/?utm_source=ifttt

My 2 year old refuses to eat most things

My daughter is 2.5 next month. Totally typical kid. Growing well, talking great, starting to potty train.For the last year her food preferences have narrowed, and narrowed, and narrowed. The first hurdle is milk. This kid will ONLY drink milk. I’m watering down milk lately. She’ll only drink water if we’re out in the heat and she’s crazy thirsty. I kept juice from her because of the sugar, but man what kid doesn’t even want to TRY juice?She used to eat some things that we could hide veggies in (she loves apple sauce pouches and we snuck in apple/broccoli purées as long as we could. No longer possible. She knows what broccoli is.We’ve hit a point where her menu options are pathetic and I’m at my wits end. I stopped cooking 3 meals a long time ago, but even if I did she still wouldn’t eat.Breakfast: man she loved eggos forever and nope. Cheerios, berries, banana and/or apple sauce with milk.Snack: at school. It’s usually pretzels or crackers and a tiny cup of milkLunch: she’s at school and eats literally the same lunch every day because she’s still eating it and I refuse to tamper with it. Small fake peanut butter sandwich (soy based), some sort of cracker and a fruit option. I send her with water that is never touched.Dinner: fuck dinner. Dinner should not stress me out this much. She is heavily attached to Mac and cheese, and while I used to be able to get organic stuff through, it’s a no-go unless it’s gross velveeta. Usually will get a side of some sort. She doesn’t touch vegetables. She doesn’t touch ANY meat. The only other thing she will consider is pizza. If I’m lucky sometimes she’ll be in the mood for yogurt or something. She gets a cup of milk and when she asks for me she gets a watered down cup.I’ve basically listed everything my child will eat. The only addition would be stealing our French fries.I’m trying to stay on top of vitamins for obvious reasons, but also because I’m getting so worried.She’s thriving as far as I can tell but it cannot at all be healthy that she eats all of like 5 things or just refuses to eat.She refuses smoothies. She’s lactose intolerant (really only with milk itself) so pediasure is out. Even if it was an option, she wouldn’t go near it.What do I do?! HOW do I get my kid to consume food? She has a sweet tooth that I rarely indulge. Is there some sort of secret cookie recipe that I can trick her into eating?Help. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2k93VhA

Your kid feels that another kid was inappropriate on a playground...

Say you have an 8 year old kid. Also say you have a family friend with a 10 year old kid. Say the kids are playing on a playground and kid10 says “know what’s different about me?” to kid8. Kid8 guesses “your [article of clothing]?” Kid10 says “no,” and proceeds to touch their pants in such a way that it appears to kid8 that kid10 is attempting to show their private parts. Kid8 runs away and doesn’t interact with kid10 any more. Ever.Kid8 shares the story with you about a week later. You try to get a clear picture of exactly with the pants-touching looked like but kid8 is mortified and insistent that kid10 was trying to show their private parts.You discuss it with the other parent. You do not know how the parent discusses it with kid10, but kid10 gets very upset and denies any attempt at exposing private parts...but lies and says it was in fact the article of clothing that was different. Kid8 wants nothing to do with kid10 ever again. Ever. You are still friends with the parent.How do you proceed? via /r/Parenting https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/7g8h3q/your_kid_feels_that_another_kid_was_inappropriate/?utm_source=ifttt

Moving with an 18 month old

We're moving to a home 10 hours' drive away within the next few months. We've made the drive before to visit relatives, so I'm not worried about that, but we will be waiting for the movers to arrive with all our stuff for at least a week. What would you guys put on a "must drive to the new house with" list? Right now all I can think of is clothes, feeding supplies (plates, forks, spoons, high chair, sippy cups) and her crib. Thanks, and happy holidays! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2j0NIaO