I don’t wanna grow up I’m a Toys R Us kid

My mom use to wake me up in the morning for school singing all loud over and over again till I woke up“ I don’t want to grow up I’m a toys a R us kid”. It just hit me how fast I’ve grown up and how much I miss my mom that little song stuck to me a good mother. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Dx2ct1

They're here!

After nine months of waiting, my second set of boy/girl twins are here. Connor James and Natalie Elizabeth. Born at 5:42 pm Thursday, I'm excited. Older siblings are excited, family is excited, church friends are excited, the cat is less excited. Babies are currently going to be sleeping in the master with husband and I until they can sleep through the night. It's time to double down. Four kids, one of which has autism, one cat, one dog, and a household to run. Time to say goodbye to all free time, but I wouldn't trade this for the world. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2DzGwws

The best day of my life.

After almost eight months of custody battles, court dates, no-shows and continuations, it's done. Today, I received custody of my oldest girl, and now have full custody of all of my kids. Ex has been given supervised visitation once a month, may be extended if she can stay clean for a longer period of time.But finally, I never have to go to sleep at night wondering if my girls have been fed or clothed, or who's is or isn't the house with them. I know that my girls are safe because they're all here with me, watching The Aristocats and eating popcorn. I know that their beds are safe and comfy because I went to Ikea and picked them out myself.I know that they have food because I just watched them eat dinner. I know that they have good shoes and coats because I can see their shoes in the hall closet. I didn't have any of this certainty before today, and I'm grateful for it. I just needed someone to tell this too, thanks for reading the whole way through. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Y7Sy9F

Just need to tell someone because I can’t tell my kids!

I’m so excited because for the first time in 5 years my fiancé and I feel financially stable enough to get the kids, and by default ourselves, Season Passes for the local amusement park! They have no idea yet and I cannot wait to tell them! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RhHe9R

My 4 year old son, could be sexually abused

I’m a single dad, very young, and I do not have any experience in parenting. I’m just taking slow, baby steps and learning as I go along. I have no idea where to seek advice, so here I am. Pardon the throwaway, I would like to keep my son’s and my identity confidential, in case my friends or someone close sees this post.Lately, my son’s behaviour has caught my attention and I am starting to suspect that someone could be potentially abusing him sexually. I’m sorry, this might get lengthy.For context, I work as a pilot, so there will be certain days in a week where I have to fly and I will not be around. On days when I’m not around, I’ll send him over to a old lady who stays a few houses down our street. Two years back, she dropped by my house and sincerely asked if I needed a nanny for my son. Seeing how she’s friendly, amicable, and an easy going person, I gave the green light. I figured it was extremely convenient too, since we’re staying on the same street. That was how it all started. I was extremely positive she would make a good fit as my son’s nanny, but I’m not too sure now.I engage in rather intimate activities with my son. Mainly because I believe we are both males, and we share no boundaries. Whatever sexual organ that I have, he has it too. So on days I’m at home, I shower with him. Two weeks ago, when I was showering with him, he has started asking things like, ‘Papa, will your peepee become hard like a rock?’ and he pointed at my penis. As if, someone has taught him about it. I was shocked. I have never been erected in front of him, there’s no way he would know. So I asked him, ‘Did anyone play with you in an inappropriate manner?’ He kept quiet suddenly and tried to change the subject, as if afraid he might divulge something. I continued pressing him for an answer but he refused to say something. As the situation got more tensed, he broke down crying so I stopped. This situation ended just that, and I’ve never pursued it any further since I couldn’t bear to see my son crying although I did suspect something was amiss because he was clearly overreacting.Ever since that incident, I’ve worn swimming shorts with him while showering with him. Things were pretty stagnant for a period until last week, which happened consecutively for a few days, my son has been showing immense curiosity for my private part, although it isn’t exactly unfamiliar to him since he has seen it before. He pulled my shorts and underwear down while I was walking and shouted, ‘Show me it! Let us play a game!’ I got scared at his choice of words. I don’t even know how to probe him because I’m certain he won’t reveal anything. I am unsure where did he learn it from, or was someone doing it to him and he’s just mimicking?I was a victim of child abuse, and it has been traumatic for me even till now. I’m on therapy for a few years now but it’s still just there. I’m afraid my son is a victim, because I don’t want him to suffer the same fate as I do but I can’t seem to gather any information on that from him.I don’t even know who did that to him. Nanny’s husband? Nanny’s son? Nanny’s visitor? Or who?Do you think he was sexually abused? And if so, how do I go about resolving this? I’m sorry if this gets controversial, I am really at loss now. Do you think going to a paediatrician and explaining the situation could help to dig out something from my son? I’ve googled and some said kids’ curiosity for such is normal but I beg to differ. My son has never been like this. I would appreciate any great advice, thank you so much. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OXZe6k

12yo. daughter is almost phobic about alcohol and drugs -- help?

You're probably wondering why I'm seeking help for something most parents of preteens would consider a positive, but read on, friends, read on.My daughter "Megan" is very bright, a little precocious, and also basically a 12 year old DARE cop. For background, I divorced her father when she was five because he refused to seek treatment for alcoholism. I suspect this may be where her fear originated, but I've never been able to get a definitive answer from her about it. I should also note that I've NEVER talked badly about him to or in front of her, have always made it clear that his alcoholism was a sickness that got out of control and not a sign of poor character, and that he isn't a bad person.I myself am an infrequent social drinker (1 to 2 drinks literally a few times a year, almost always on special occasions), and still any time my daughter has seen me drinking she's become upset almost to the point of tears and asking me "why I have to do this." I've tried explaining that most adults are capable of enjoying the occasional alcoholic drink without it becoming a problem, and that having a single drink doesn't mean you're an alcoholic, but it never sinks in.She's also internalized some weirdly judgmental attitudes toward people who use substances regardless of the reason. We recently had a conversation about the legalization of marijuana in some US states, the differences between medical and recreational use, and the medical benefits for some people (controlling pain, seizure reduction, etc.). I asked Megan what she thought about the subject, and she expressed that people who use marijuana are all "stupid" and "idiots" and "probably just want to do drugs." Another time, upon seeing a news item about some local teens who crashed a car in a DUI joyride, I made a remark like "they're lucky they're not dead" and my daughter shocked me by replying "It would serve them right." And this is not a kid who typically lacks empathy for other people. Under most other circumstances, she's an incredibly loving person and very supportive of her friends, but it's like anytime alcohol or drugs enters the equation she wants to throw the book at people.This all finally exploded last week when Megan tattled on a classmate who was seen smoking a cigarette at the bus stop before school. I should emphasize that Megan wasn't even there and didn't see this happen. She just heard about it and decided she needed to take action, so she told a guidance counselor. The kid was pulled out of class, the school contacted his parents, and he got a couple days of out of school suspension because he still had the cigarette pack on his person on school grounds.Megan was legitimately expecting her friends to think she'd done a good deed, so she was confused when they all called her out for snitching on him. I think she was even more confused when I didn't immediately show pride in her for what she'd done. I tried to tease out her motives to make sure this wasn't a situation of trying to get back at someone she'd had conflict with or anything like that, and she made it very clear that it wasn't. She genuinely thinks this kid was headed down a bad road by smoking and that "someone needed to do something before it was too late."I... don't know what to do with this. I understand that she thought she was doing something positive, and that she really thinks smoking a cigarette is some kind of gateway to becoming a junkie, but her reaction here was so disproportionate to me, and it worries me. I'm worried that if she has this same hardline, judgmental attitude in a couple more years when more of her peers are likely to start experimenting, it's going to cost her her friendships.Any advice? Has anyone else dealt with something like this? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/35SkEZs

Kids cry about the funniest things.

I was cooking dinner tonight and while I’m chopping vegetables, my 5yo daughter comes in crying. It went as follows.Me: What’s the matter?! (Thinking she had hurt herself)Her: I don’t want to have babies!Me: wut ._. What do you mean?Her: When I’m older. I don’t want to have babies! 😭Me: Who said you have to have babies?Her: I have to! But I don’t want to!Me: You don’t have to have babies if you want to. It’s nothing to cry about silly.Her, now crying in the corner of the kitchen: But I don’t want to have babies! But if I don’t have them, you won’t be a nanny!Me: I don’t mind if I’m not a nanny if you’re happy.It literally took me 10 minutes of convincing that she didn’t have to have babies if she didn’t want to, and that loads of people don’t have babies and are really happy. I’m not sure how much she believed me, or how she even got onto the topic of babies as she was watching a Disney film with her brother before I started cooking. She cried for nearly 10 minutes about imaginary babies she doesn’t even have to have 😂 via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/33CdKWo

Is my wife being too hard on my daughter about grades?

My daughter is a great kid and loves to learn.She decided to challenge herself this year by taking some college courses alongside her regular high school classes (in subjects more specific than honors or AP classes offered.)She took two colleges classes and got Bs. She worked very hard and learned a lot. I was very proud of her.Her mother is upset she didn’t get As and doesn’t want to allow her to enroll in any more classes next semester.This seems crazy to me, but I’m a bit biased because I’ve never been particularly militant about what it says on paper as long as she’s actually learning things she enjoys and can use in her life.Thoughts? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/37S9GVC

Do you think it’s ok for my daughter and her gay male friend to sleep in the same bed?

So my husband and I have different opinions on this. He doesn’t think they should, I personally see nothing wrong with it.The kids are 12. Her friend told his parents ‘he thinks he likes boys not girls’ and my daughter told me the same thing about him. They’ve known each other for about 4 years and there’s never been anything more than friends with them. I know it’s a bit of a stereotype to assume he’s gay because of the way he acts, but both myself and his mom have always thought it anyway. So it wasn’t a surprise when he came out to her.They’ve been having sleepovers for a while and now both of them have hit puberty (my daughter just recently started her period) my husband is being weird about them sleeping in the same bed. He said he doesn’t think they should anymore.I think he’s being ridiculous. I know nothing is gonna go on between them but my husband says it’s ‘better to be safe than sorry’ and thinks that just cause he’s said he likes boys that doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind.So can I get some thoughts on this? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/33xyKhe

My 4 year old son

Has been so grumpy and moody lately. Quite irritating if I’m being honest. But, I’m hopeful it’s just a phase. Anyways- he was just in a bad mood because I made him go throw his trash away and he looked at me, dead faced and said “I no love you mommy”, and I responded “what did you just say?” And he again proceeded to say it two more times. He’s never said that before and I am worried and heartbroken. How do I handle this age? 3 was terrible..I was hoping 4 might be a little better but Here we are. I’m not sure if he’s picking up some behaviors from the children in his class? He goes to a private school, and his class is 4-5 year olds. He’s just been so terrible towards almost any adult lately. Thanks in advance for any words of wisdom or advice! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2XZRXXJ

New baby dealing with unvaccinated family members

I am going to have a baby in Feb. My SILs kids have no vaccinations. Its their choice and that’s fine but how can I protect my child and not segregate myself & son from the family? It’s easy for everyone to say don’t let the kids around the baby but at the end of the day that makes me really sad and is not that easy. I have been in their lives for so long & see them often. I just looked up vaccinations schedules for where I live and babies don’t even get the measles shot until a year old! I would love to hear from some parents who have been in this same awkward position. I’m not asking for medical advice more how to navigate this awkward issue. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2L6TjKS

My teen son’s friend’s mom is asking him for car rides

He has been friends with M since last year. They spent a lot of time together since summer. I’ve met her once. M is 16 and my son just turned 17.M’s mom got her second OVI and uses a breathalyzer to start and drive her car. Yesterday she couldn’t drive to the nail salon because she “spilled perfume on the front seat” . (Her son M has a temp license and drove her there. He asked my son if he could pick her up at 1:45pm since he shouldn’t really be driving without an adult. )They arrive there on time and she’s not done. They wait 45 minutes. The mom asks my son to drive her to Walmart since it’s Black Friday. Told him her car was broke and thanks for the ride. Son drops her off; she tells him she will find a ride home. Son and M go skating when a few minutes later she texts my son to pick her up. She couldn’t find a ride. My son tells her he’s not her Uber and it’s not his problem. Her oldest son picked her up and drove her home.Last week he picked up and dropped of M to work because the mom had been drinking. She gave him $10 for gas.I am a chicken shit and suck at confrontation. Should I call this mom and tell her how inappropriate it is to text my son for rides? My son handled the last one really well with “I’m not your Uber”.My son didn’t believe her excuses and knows she has issues with alcohol. He feels bad for his friend because he knows he is embarrassed. M is a good kid.Any advice appreciated. Please be kind. This is the first time I’ve dealt with anything like this. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2R7sUjS

My 6 year old daughter says she does not want to be black. How do we address this without making it worse?

I have 4 young kids. 6 year old boy/girl twins, 2 year old boy, and a 4 month old daughter. The twins are in first grade. I am black and my husband is white.My 6 year old daughter is super intelligent but immature. She is in the highest reading and math groups, but is a wallflower and struggles to make and maintain friendships. Anywho, she brought home a picture that she drew earlier in the school year. The kids were told to draw a picture of their family. She used the peach crayon for her and her dad, the brown crayon for her brothers and sister, and the black crayon for me. I asked her why she drew herself differently than her siblings and she said it's because she isn't black like them. All of the kids are about the same color. If anything the baby is the most white passing. I told her that she's half black and half white and she said that she knows that but she doesn't like the black part. I asked her why and she said she doesn't feel like she's black. I asked her what that meant and reminded her that black people come in all different shades, from various ways of life, and have different interest. She said she knew but still doesn't like the black part.I'm not sure what to do. I think we talk about race the average amount for an interracial family. It is not a daily topic of conversation but some race related topic comes up at least a few times a week. All 4 of the kids have names inspired by historical figures and 3 of those names were inspired by prominent black activist. We have talked a bit about slavery and the civil rights movement with the twins. They both know why they have the names they have. We do live in a majority white suburb in the New England region but the kids see my family and have a good relationship with my sister.Where are we messing up and how do I fix this before she becomes a self hating black person? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qZRSqS

11 month old loves crumbs

I vacuum everyday, sometimes twice. It doesn’t matter. Too many people in the house to avoid getting stuff on the floor.Lil missy will hunt down crumbs like it’s her job and then proceed to eat them. Then me and wife are always worried what she has in her mouth.Does anybody else’s baby do this? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qYZCJH

Art pile is out of control! Need help

My 5 year old daughter is an amazing artist and is constantly creating. I love this and I do everything I can to encourage this creativity. The side effects is a giant box in my living room overflowing with art works that all have deep sentimental value to her. Do you have any suggestions on how to organize this or create a way to only keep the most important drawings. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2R6QjCe

Will he be living in my basement when he’s 30?

I need some advice about my 8 year old (9 in February). He does not like being away from my husband and I at all. He will not participate in any extra curricular activities at all. We have tried all sorts of activities, but have learned it is largely a waste of money and time because he won’t do any of them. We have had a few days where he flat out refuses to go to school. Last summer we got him to go to a three day summer camp and they almost called us to come get him because he was so upset the first night. His brother, sister, and other friends were even there, too.I guess my question is where to pick my battles to push him to be more independent, but not force him into situations he hates. For example, do we force him to go to summer camp this year even though he says he doesn’t want to?School is a little more complicated because right now he goes to the school I teach at. I am quitting at the end of this year, though to do an in home daycare, so he would have to switch to our neighborhood school because current school is 45 minutes away. The only reason he goes there is because I teach there. He does not want to go to a new school and I have seen him dig in his heels and just refuse to go. There is nothing anyone can do to force him. He literally runs out of the building. Since I will be at home next year, we have kicked around the idea of letting him do virtual school at home, but I worry about giving in to him to much and allowing him to just hide from his fears.I just feel like I have no clue how to handle this and balance his independence versus his fears. Any advice would be appreciated. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/35YAVft

18mo grumpy with mum a lot of the time, but when relatives take him off for a play or trip to the shops he’s apparently super happy most of the time!

Hi! Just after some thoughts / commiseration from those who’ve gone before me - we have a lovely and very busy 18 month old boy (Elijah). He goes to day care 2 full days a week and on other days has either me or his dad. At day care the updates are that he is generally very happy and easy going, but at home on days off as well as after day care he is HARD WORK. I know he’s our first, but this has been noted by other parents too. Just very much in need of 100% attention, wants to be held but as soon as he’s held throws himself out of your arms, and tantrums have begun in full force. Usually it’s not teething - it’s him with big emotions! I’ve heard about us being his “safe” place but I wondered is it a common phenomenon to be better with people that are not us? Sometimes I just feel I always get the worst of him. I know I get his giggles as well but lately the crying and grumpiness has outweighed the happiness.I figure he’s a little boy unable to express himself at all (he’s only got about 7 words so far), so maybe that’s it? I’m just worried about my ability to cope when he’s two, or is it in some ways a little bit easier because they can communicate more? Gah, 18 months is so far my favourite and least favourite age! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2R67bZQ

smart stubborn defiant teens resisting homework

I have a couple teenagers that are resisting their education. How do I get compliance?There is a 16-year-old boy. He is quite capable, though he imagines himself to be well beyond that. He is kind of lazy, procrastinating and always doing the bare minimum to get whatever he feels is a good grade. He clearly has no respect for either parent. He is willing to damage his education in an attempt to control how our family does things; he wants to dictate parental choices.There is a 14-year-old girl. She is quite capable. She is a very different sort of lazy, probably influenced by perfectionism. She has a perfect GPA in her college classes and is in honors calculus. She resists signing up for a normal load of classes. She is willing to screw up her non-college class in solidarity with her brother. She has no respect for her dad, and might not respect her mom. Part of the trouble here is that her mom caved in during class registration for spring, letting her defy her dad by taking a very light load.Via dual enrollment, the two generally take 5 to 12 credits of college with older siblings. They also take homeschooled AP Chemistry with younger siblings. This semester that comes to 4 classes, which is a light load. It'll be just 3 for her in spring. The boy at least signed up properly, which is still a light load.The boy has decided that he has a veto over the education of younger siblings. He has decided that they won't be homeschooled because he has determined that we are incapable of teaching, which isn't true aside from his misbehavior. (older kids passed AP tests) He also seems to believe that he can force his parents to let him take chemistry as dual enrollment at the college. Even if I have him sit beside me with his chemistry book, he will do nothing but stare at the book. This is deliberate failure, intended to coerce his parents into doing what he wants. One doesn't learn without working through the problems, so he isn't learning. His sister generally does likewise. He may be pressuring her in some unknown way. She did do a few problems under heavy pressure from her mom when her brother wasn't present.The AP test date is May 7. That is out of our control. Without regular progress, passing the test will be hopeless.One of the awkward issues here is that backing down would grant the kids, especially the boy, control over parental decisions. This means that I can't really give up even if I'd prefer to do so. His misbehavior mustn't be rewarded. Another factor is that it is harmful for younger siblings to see these teens get away with disobedience and disrespect, causing the misbehavior to spread to additional kids.Taking a full schedule is very important for financial reasons. Dual enrollment and AP are nearly free compared to what college will cost later. Without that, college might not happen. For example, an older kid without the defiance is expected to transfer this fall to a 4-year school with 83 credits toward his degree. That is a huge amount of money saved.All of this trouble is of course a distraction from other parental duties. These two teens are selfishly consuming time needed for so many other things. There are other siblings that need attention, there are errands to run, there is income to be earned, and so on. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/33wPdSz

Advice for gracefully managing a six year old with a newborn?

My six year old is not necessarily a handful but she is very invested in being around with the baby, which is sometimes super helpful and sometimes super not. I feel like I’m losing my patience too much with her, and I know it’s not her fault she just wants to be apart of everything and still be a kid.I didn’t imagine that the hardest part of having two kids would be my frustration levels with my oldest at her jumping around the baby, yelling when I’m trying to get the baby to sleep, or just wanting to touch the baby at the most inconvenient times. The other day she woke her up, after I told her not to, because she wanted to “see her”.At the end of the day, like now, when both of them are asleep and I typically find it hard to sleep I just think, am I fucking up? Am I doing a horrible job with my oldest. I could try harder to be more patient and loving when she’s just being a six year old and then I go into guilt mode.Any advice or words of encouragement appreciated. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2DsnnfX

Okay but what about vegetables?

My (5y) and (3y) won’t eat nothing healthy and I’m very concerned about their diet. Very picky eaters and I don’t know how to start making them eat vegetables. Fruits are fine like apples and bananas, some berries but not one vegetable except potatoes. How can I encourage them to eat vegetables? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/37RBUQc

Proud mom moment

My kids (8 & 9) are on a wrestling team that is selling raffle tickets. The tickets are kinda pricey for our area ($20) for a weird prize (half a cow, processed - aka a shit ton of beef).We set up in the breezeway of a local restaurant tonight to try to move some tickets; my kids (especially the oldest) were selling machines. They talked to people, explained the prize and what the raffle profits go towards, even suggested to one group they split the cost of the ticket and the prize (the objection was first the cost, then the space it would take to store all the meat). My boys took any sales advice I gave them in between potential customers and actually incorporated it into their pitches.As proud as I am of them for stepping up and being great salesmen, I am even more proud that they did not get discouraged by all the no’s. So many people either ignored them, laughed at them, or politely declined (I can’t tell you how many people I heard blessing their hearts on the way out the door). Not once did they seem fazed, just ready for the next opportunity.Add to this, my oldest is legally blind with ocular albinism. This means he can’t actually see your face when talking to you from more than 6 inches away. Watching him interact with total strangers for 2 hours and how fearless he is, it makes me so grateful to get to be his mom.Now who wants a ticket?? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2DBpj5z

I told my adult daughters to grow up after they had a fight on thanksgiving

I have 2 adult daughters who are 21 and 22yo, since they could walk, they have never gotten along. I have tried everything from separation, reffing everything, punishing both, different activities with me and mom alone, all sorts of things but nothing worked. Once they hit their teen years things started to calm down. They still fought almost daily but made up almost instantly and could actually get along and be around the other one for more than like 5 minutes. They both have a very fond love for cooking and both are going to culinary school, the younger one got a scholarship so the money we had saved for her college tuition we were able to give our oldest for her tuition. Before you say thats playing favorites we never gave them the money for living expenses we had a different set amount for that, but for the set amount we had for college tuitions we were able to pour it all into one since the other got a scholarship.They are both home for thanksgiving and about 4-5 days ago they had a friend bet (at the time) to see who is the better cook. In hindsight I should have put a stop to that right away but it seemed friendly and hey I get to try both of their great cooking on thanksgiving. My brother, his wife, and their 2 kids came alone with my wife's brother, his wife and their 3 kids. There was a total of 13 people at our smallish house. I was hanging out with my brother and BIL while watching after all their kids. I don't know what happened and frankly I don't care but I guess they were both kinda tipsy and my youngest slapped my oldest. I came in to them both cussing at each other and crying. I took them both into a separate room to see what happened and WOW they were fighting again. I have had to deal with the same BS for the past 21 years. I said "you are adults and acting like children, starting a fight and slapping your sister? Really? I don't care how it started but from now on I'm gonna treat you 2 like kids until you guys can prove to me you two aren't." They were both quiet and ill admit I was annoyed that they were cussing IN FRONT OF KIDS and started a fight over nothing.The rest of the dinner went well enough tho a bit awkward cause they didn't say a word to each other. Everyone left but my brother and his family stayed the night cause he decided getting too drunk to walk was a good idea lol, and his wife doesn't know how to drive manual and he has a manual. When we were in bed my wife asked me how I handled our kids fighting and I told her what I said. She seemed disappointed I talked down to them as kids and that it wasn't the best way to go about it. I asked her what she would have done, and she said that she would have locked the door with them and her in a room and said they can't leave till they make up and get over it. I am now thinking that the way I did it was wrong cause now they are probably mad at me for treating them like kids.II am curious if what I did is wrong? I am not treating them like kids, other than cutting up their food (don't judge I'm a dad lol). I almost like my wife's way better cause it would make themselves work it out but.....idk. Which way was right or the better ways o go about this?TL;DR:My daughters got into a fight last night and I told them to grow up via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/33tOYrr

I just need to vent.

I’m a single mom. I work 60 hours a week. I’m also a college student with a 4.0 but I literally feel like I’m failing at everything. The holiday season is so hard because I’m away from my whole family and friends to try and make a better life for my son and I. I’ve been in tears every single day and I just want it to stop. I’m working so hard, I’m barely sleeping, meanwhile trying to be the best mommy I can be, the most patient mommy, and still try and take care of myself. I’m doing everything I possibly can to make sure this Christmas is special for my son and I’m exhausted. I never sit down, I go nonstop from the moment I wake up to the moment I sleep and this mama just needs a break.😞 via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2q9Ffcs

9 year old nephew won’t stop hugging, picking up, and kissing my daughters (3 and 2) even when they resist. He also always “asks them to come upstairs.” My wife thinks I need to “relax” (it’s her sister’s son). What should I do?

I have two girls, 3 and 2. I’m blessed. Sweet, Smart, adorably cute.My 9 year old nephew will not stop grabbing them and kissing, hugging, pulling, etc. Like I get it, they are smaller and cuter. He doesn’t have younger siblings (has two older sisters).I have a problem with how touchy he is. I get being lovey. A kiss hello and good bye, some tickling, etc.But in my eyes, his behavior is over the top and borderline alarming. I would say in a 3 hour family outing, he kisses each of my daughters more than 15 times, and usually more.He also always wants to “go upstairs” and away from everyone...but only with my girls. We has other male cousins who he never needs to bring upstairs.Also, he always tries to be in the room when they are changing diapers, taking baths, etc. I get they there’s a curiosity, but it’s the totality of the circumstances that raising the hairs on the back of my neck.I said something to my wife about it and she was obnoxious. “Okay I’ll tell my sister that you’re not comfortable with “Johnny” kissing the girls. Well I never said that, but I think the amount of touching and kissing is strange. And it bothers me.Has anyone run into this? Looking specifically to hear from people with daughters who have older male cousins rather than the parents of males who have younger female cousins.Thanks. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/33ByAoW

A stranger put her finger in my three month old’s mouth.

I was visiting a friend for thanksgiving. Her step sister in-law was there, and had two sons close to my age. She wanted to hold my son while I went to get some food and when I came back she had her finger in his mouth. Who in their right mind does this with a strangers baby especially during cold and flu season. If you’re one of these people, stop it! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OAQ7JQ

My 6 year old son watched a movie and thinks he knows how babies are made

My son watched the Pixar Short called “Bao” and got really excited and got his play-dough out . He started making dumplings and rewatched the short over and over to make sure he was making them correctly. When he was finished he put them in a skillet and asked me to turn on the stovetop to make the babies. That’s when I realized the poor little guy was really hoping they would come to life. I love him SO much. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2rJeATZ

Why would my sons father lie about him being potty trained???

So my ex and I share 50/50 custody of our now 5yo son. He’s been potty trained since right after he turned 3. He’s always had to wear a diaper at bedtime though. Boys wet the bed longer than girls on average and it’s completely normal. His dad does not believe this and will get mad at him for it. I’ve even brought him things from our sons pediatrician (ex has never been to any appointment himself) clearly stating that it’s normal for a boy his age to be wetting the bed after being potty trained. So after son turns four ex tells me son’s pretty much stopped wetting the bed except the occasional accident. Great! Only thing is that is not the case at my house. So what’s the difference? I’m comparing with ex and we seem to be doing all the same things so I can’t make sense of why he’s completely potty trained at his dads but not at home with me. So then yesterday my son tells me that he wets the bed all the time at his dads house and he doesn’t know why his dad says he doesn’t.Why is my ex lying about our son not wetting the bed?? It’s normal for a boy his age!! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2P1dZFe

Today, it happened

My son is almost 2 and likes to play with stickers, as toddlers often do. He was wandering around the living room with his truck stickers, putting them everywhere. He occasionally will stick a sticker in his mouth and come over to me with a yuck face on and want me to pull it out of his mouth. He doesn't ever "want* to eat them, he just likes attention.Well, he wandered around the corner for a minute or so and came back with his yuck face on. I asked him if he was eating a sticker again and told him for the umpeenth time that we don't eat stickers, when I realized he didn't have a sticker in his mouth. And he smelled really bad.Oh no. It's poop. Poop on the wall. Poop on the hands. And presumably, poop in the mouth. Definitely the grossest parenting thing so far. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2R5U4Yq

Never plan a joint birthday party, I guess.

A close friend of my wife's son is the same age as our oldest, and the kids are great friends. The moms had an idea to have a combined birthday party. I didn't want to do anything after last year's party nearly killed me from RSVP stress, but I said go for it. We rented a place which allows up to 25 kids.Wife got a text today that the other mom has 20 yesses. Cool. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qXwaUn

How to navigate the embarrassing things little kids say?

Today my 4 year old and I were in the grocery store. The cashier had some crowns on her teeth and my son said "I love your golden teeth!" He was sincere, but she was very obviously embarassed.Of course, it happens all the time since children don't know yet what is and isn't appropriate to talk about...In this situation I didn't know what to say. Obviously I don't want him pointing out thing that could embarrass people, but it's hard to describe what those things might be.I also don't want to discourage paying people compliments, as I think it's an endearing quality...Any advice? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2r1Dhv5

Throwing an entire plate of food on the floor

My 2 year old started doing this when he was finished and I messed up by reiterating how we don't throw food on the floor and he laughs and does it about every meal. I know I'm supposed to reinforce positive behaviors but how do I get him to stop throwing his plate on the floor??? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/35I0elu

🎅🎅Official Santa MegaThread 2019🎄🎄

Thanks to historical precedence we know this is a big deal this time of year...If your post mentions Santa it will be redirected here.Enjoy the cookies, use a coaster under your spiked egg nog, and bring all Santa discussions here! 🎉 via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/35I0dOs

College freshman is not adjusting to college. Is it cruel to make him finish out the year?

My oldest is a junior at college so this is not our first rodeo. The junior stayed relatively close to home (a little over an hour away) and picked a state school, so he knows some people there from high school. While he had a hard freshman transition, I do think having a couple of high school classmates there helped. One of his closest friends is at the same school and they relied on each other a lot.My freshman was accepted to that school and strongly considered it but opted for a private out of state school instead because it was stronger in his major. He's struggling hard. He has tried putting himself out there. He plays intramural and club sports. He looked into frats but decided to hold off on that. He goes to campus events. For some reason he is still uncomfortable. He is home for Thanksgiving break and told me that he really doesn't want to go back to school. He says he made a bad decision and wants take the spring semester off to apply to other schools for the fall. He has felt this way since we dropped him off. I thought it was normal nerves. He cried but so did his roommate. My older son did as well even though he was only an hour from home. He called me a couple nights after dropoff and said he wanted to come home. We hoped that sticking it out would eventually make things easier over time but it hasn't. He's happy to be home and with his high school friends. They'll all go back to school soon but most of them stayed in state so it would be easier to see them if he attended one of our state schools instead.We told him that we want him to finish out the rest of the school year and then transfer. That way he'll have all of his freshman classes done and can look to applying somewhere else as a sophomore. He isn't sure where he wants to go instead so I told him we can take the winter break and spring break to explore tour other schools and explore other options. We can do all of that and he can finish his freshman year where he is. He was pretty upset but I don't know what else to do. I guess community college is an option but he doesn't want to do that. Are we cruel? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2rDbQaO

Mental/neurological agitation from the sounds of young children. Am I the only one?

First off, I plan on seeing a mental health professional about this. But I wanted to reach out to a community first to see if others have suffered from this and to try to find out what "this" even is.I have two young children--a 5 year old and a 2.5 year old. I can wake up fresh, rested, and in a great mood. But within an hour of hearing them yelling, whining, crying, or sometimes even happily playing (loudly), I want to tear someone's head off. It's as though the sounds are directly agitating some part of my brain or my nervous system.I've found it helps if I sit quietly and cover/close my ears for a few minutes. Kinda resets something. Or of course if I just actually leave the house and then come back.I want to be there for my kids and my wife without being so agitated all the time. I don't enjoy it. And my kids are actually better behaved than most so it's not like they're doing anything crazy. They're just being normal, if not more mild-mannered than normal, kids.Would appreciate any thoughts, ideas, recommendations, etc. And if you suffer from this sort of thing, let me know! I'd like to know if it's just me or not.Thanks! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/37Lt6vj

Blood family vs non blood?

I was part of a mentoring “big brother” style program when I was in graduate school and I worked with a 5 year old boy.One thing led to another, the boy had very similar interests to me, I ended up very involved in his life. His father was in and out of jail, his mother had to work day and night and then some to support him and his siblings, I was just a stable adult presence to reinforce things like “school is important” “you matter” show up to sports games, help with homework, give life advice, etc.That was 14 years ago. I’m married now, I have a kid. But I’ve also remained in this boy’s life. I was the one at his graduation, I was the one he called when his first girlfriend left him, I really consider him a son.My wife doesn’t get why I can’t just “walk away” from him. Me and her had a huge fight over thanksgiving. She said she wanted thanksgiving to be “just the family.” So I said, great, you, me, baby, your parents, my parents, my sisters, your brother, our cousins, and him.She’s insistent that I should draw a line between blood family and this boy because I have a real family now, but that’s seems so arbitrary to me.I’m not sure how to navigate this. Advice? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qZtntL

Is this punishment to far?

I need some advice, longSo my son and daughter recently lost the Nintendo switch that we got less that a year ago. They have broken a Xbox 360, lost three game boys, broke countless controllers and my son downloaded a virus that killed the computer after we told him not to download games online because of scams.I AM DONE. I feel like they need to learn to appreciate what they get. And I know it’s possible because I never broke systems and neither did my husband.My son is 12 my daughter is 9. I wanted to take all technology away for a year, which was a extreme reaction but I thought of this as a punishment.I’m going to make them pay for their own systems so that they understand the value behind the items. And if they break it...it’s theirs so (shrug)I’m making a chore list that has money values to jobs done. I won’t force them to do these jobs, but if they want the money they will have to work for it. I’m making a cut off of 10 dollars every two weeks from me and my husband and 10 dollars every two weeks from their grandma.I had to add the grandma cut off because she keeps buying replacements and my kids arnt learning anything. If she gets my son a system for Christmas I will literally return it to her. I’m being 100% upfront with her about this. I made the money cut off for her because she will sneak him cash, and I will not allow this enablement of not appreciating stuff to continue. I also want this process to take a reasonably long time to really get the message.Once they own their own items I will not take it away as punishment because it’s not something I worked for. But I am making them give me a one time payment to use the tv and internet that can be revoked due to bad behavior. Again I’m being 100% honest with them and hanging up a new rule code.I’m going to treat the chores like a job in the idea of my standards of what I expect and the attitude they accomplish it in. My son is high functioning autistic and I’m very worried when it’s time for him to support himself that he won’t be willing to put on the work smile. So I’m using this as a training ground.Anything that we already own and they want to use the money will go into their savings account. And anything they need to buy I will give them the options such as used/new whatnot and let them decide how to best use their income after explaining pros and cons.This is only with technology that would qualify as a luxury. When it’s time for phones and stuff I’m going to get them the cheapest and most dependable and if they want a iPhone or something they can save up for that.My son is freaking out. Telling me he hates me. I feel pretty confident in the direction I am going but would really appreciate insight from others.Thanks for reading this far. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qX5IdA

Adult with hand foot and mouth. SOS.

This is 1000% miserable and horrific. I caught hand foot and mouth from my son's daycare and this is probably the sickest I've ever been in my life. My hands are covered in blisters and it hurts so bad my husband had to put my bra on this morning bc I cant do the clasps. I also have them on my face, including lips and inside my mouth, and on the soles of my feet so it hurts to walk.Everything is agony, but our dr said there's nothing I can do except dab antibiotic on the blisters as they rupture.Have any of you guys had it as adults? If so, how long were you miserable? And is there ANYTHING that you found to ease the pain or itchiness? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2DpXbm9

My socially immature teen hangs out with much younger friends. How big of a deal is this?

My socially 15 in December and is a high school freshman. He has always been immature socially. He has always had younger friends and his interest always aligned more with kids who were 2 to 5 years younger. He had no real friends until 3rd grade when he started hanging out with boy in kindergarten. They remained friends until we moved. I was hoping that the move may push him out of his comfort zone but we ended up moving right nextdoor to a family with 3 kids. My son was 12 at the time and their boys were 9 and 7. My son became instant friends with both. It has remained this way for the last few years. They have sleepovers, hang out after school, etc.My concern is that the 11 year old even seems to be passing my son in maturity. My son was hanging out with them on Wednesday and came home sad. He told both boys what he was getting for his birthday and the 11 year old said something like, "Aren't those things for little kid?" The 9 year old was super into it though and my son said he ended up playing with him most of the time while the 11 year old texted friends. This is a reoccurring theme lately. The 11 year old has new friends who don't really seem to like my son and I get it. I'm not angry with the 11 year old. He's a really sweet kid but he's moving past the stage of playing with toys and is getting more interested in other things, including girls, sports, and clothes which my son has no interest in. In fact, two of the shirts my son mentioned he was getting for his birthday were deemed as childish by the 11 year. Both are character t-shirts.So this means my almost 15 year old ends up spending a good amount of time with the 9 year old. Should I try to gently discourage this? That seems cruel but I wonder if he needs to start looking for friends his own age. He is involved in band at school but doesn't want to do any other activities where he could meet friends his own age who share the same interest. He says he doesn't like hanging out with his peers because they are always thinking about other things and don't want to play with toys all the time. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/34xV3Vi

Bi-Monthly Application, games and books review - November 29, 2019

This is a Bi-Weekly thread meant to share review and comments on children's phone applications, games and books.Feel free to share with us your new discoveries, what you liked and what you didn't really appreciate. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/35IxVn8

Santa magic (is it time to come clean to make things easier)

My twins are 7 and they are a boy and girl, we just recently moved from California to Kentucky and we have been out here about a year due to my husband taking on a new trade. ( floor installer) sub contracted. Basically paid by jobs when completed. His partner just had an emergency surgery and found out he will be out for at least a minimum of 3 months or possibly indefinitely. We have no family out here and haven’t established many friends since we haven’t been out here very long. Since my husband has no partner he has no work. He can’t move refrigerators, furniture and boxes of flooring alone and the contractor can’t put him on any big jobs because he is only 1 person and it would be hard to complete in a timely manner. I work at Chipotle and don’t make a lot of money. The money I do make will be paying our bills rent, water, electricity and hopefully enough to feed our little family. We don’t even have much decorations because we left them all behind in California because we moved across country in a Jetta and what we could fit in it. Mostly clothes I was able to get some little decorations from the dollar tree but don’t have the means to get much more. My babies just turned 7 in September and they still believe in Santa and the magic of Christmas I don’t know how to explain to them that Santa won’t be able to bring them very much this year so I am hoping some people out there have been in my shoes and could give me some great advice on what I can tell them, or if maybe I should come clean and let them know there is no such thing as Santa. Any thoughts or advice is greatly welcomed. Please help via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2L4LMMM

Please tell me the holidays get easier.. actually please tell me it all gets easier

My 16 month old is not an easy baby... he doesn’t sleep well (still not sleeping through the night reliably and is a VERY light sleeper), he’s a pretty whiny baby. Of course with winter coming he’s sick with a cold which adds to his current misery. Honestly I feel like my husband and I are barely making it day to day just getting through. Then yesterday at thanksgiving he had a complete mental breakdown, screaming/crying/would not calm down. We ended up just leaving after an hour and didn’t get to eat, got food at a gas station on the way home...Please tell me it gets easier, it’s just a phase. I love the holidays and always imagined the magic of sharing it with my kids... never pictured this was how holidays would be instead via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OUWaYv

Not being able to provide Christmas for my son

Hey everyone! I’m just looking for advice on how to handle my current situation. I’m a very poor college student and a parent to a 10 year old son. Often I worry about groceries and basic necessities like clothes for him. Paying the bills has been a struggle. Now Christmas is coming up and I feel insanely guilty because I absolutely can’t provide any extras this year. I feel like such an awful parent. I’m so close to being done with my bachelors degree and I’m doing everything I can to make sure he has a better life. I feel guilty that I’ve had to scrape by his entire life. My main concern is he’s 10 and realizes the financial situation we are in but he still believes that Santa will bring him presents. I don’t know if I should tell him and ruin it for him? I’ve tried to reach out to different toy assistant programs and it’s not likely that we will be chosen for help. Has anyone been in this situation? What would you do? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/34ye5uD

Yesterday, kid from across the street knocked on my door, crying. Her electronic key had stopped working and she couldn’t get into her house. I replaced the battery and she got in safely. It seems she hasn’t told her mother. Should I tell the mother?

Need advice from parents.First, it’s very normal here for young kids (as young as 5) to walk alone, to and from school, or even shop for groceries.Also, I’ll mention I teach English in my home and the kid in question and her 5-year-old sister are two of my students. I have the mom’s e-mail and phone number and she’s a friendly and reasonable person.Yesterday, the 7-year-old girl from across the street rang my doorbell. I looked at the monitor but couldn’t see anyone. I was making a lesson plan at the time and ignored it. 5 minutes later, it rang again. It was about 4:30 PM and getting dark.I opened the door and it was the 7-year-old kid from across the street. She was crying. I asked what was wrong and she said her key wasn’t working and she couldn’t get into her house. I went across the street to her house and asked if she had the key. She showed it to me and it was electronic. I noticed a screw on the back and the size of the key reminded me of the remote control for my Christmas lights, the battery of which I had just replaced last week.Whether it was the right decision or not, I don’t know, but my first instinct was to try replacing the battery. If they didn’t work, I was planning to call the mom on her cell, although she was at work. If that had failed, I would have walked with the kid to the police station (5 minutes away) and waited there with her.I told the girl to wait while I got a screwdriver and battery. Ran back to my house, got the items, ran back, opened the key and replaced the battery. Fortunately it was the right size and the key worked. So I told the girl it was okay now . She was still sniffling but seemed relieved. I waited until she was safely inside before returning home.The mother usually gets home around 5:30 or 6:00. I was expecting the mother to e-mail or call me thanking me but then realized the girl probably didn’t tell her mother. She might think she’ll get in trouble, even though it’s not her fault her key battery died.I don’t blame the mother because she probably didn’t expect the battery to die like that. The girl is 1st year elementary school so it’s probably her first year coming home alone and I imagine the key is relatively new.Now I’m wondering whether I should tell the mother what happened. I imagine the kid doesn’t want her mom to know because she is afraid of getting in trouble. Seeing as I’m teaching them, I don’t want her to feel like she can’t trust me anymore. On the other hand, I feel the mother needs to know what happened so she can prevent in the future.I also want to make sure the mother doesn’t think I’m blaming her. Basically, I want to maintain trust with both parties and make sure her kid can get home safely in the future too.Parents, what should I do? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/35HkF24

We have a new assistant at home, Alexa :)

We are going through potty training and Alexa surprisingly have been really helpful. our 2.5 year old will go to toilet whenever Alexa reminds him but same doesn't work when we remind him.It helps that Alexa always understands our reminder prompts as "go to party" instead of potty and for some reason he finds that funny each time.It is hard to understand toddlers... via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/34w7Asl

4 year old son has some sensory issues. He and my dad wrestle roughly on the regular. Tonight my son said he would punch my dad and dad responded by saying,” I won’t send you to the corner, I’ll wear your ass out.”

I was shocked. I had never heard this from my dad since I was a kid. When I was a kid I was severely beaten , left home when I was 16, and eventually came to forgive and make peace with my folks and attempt to build a relationship when I got older. My parents have been fantastic grandparents since my children were born and I’ve never seen any evidence of this form them since. But this seemed to come out of nowhere. We don’t talk to our kids that way and we don’t use corporal punishment.Needless to say that the visit came to a screeching halt and I made sure to let it be known that no one would ever hit my children or threaten them and that he needed to leave.I’m going to catch hell for this from the rest of my family but o just wasn’t about to sit there and let an old man cuss and threaten violence against a four year old with SPD. Honestly, it brought up a lot of old memories and I saw red the second it left his mouth.I’m not really asking for advice and I’d rather not get into a discussion about corporal punishment. Just was a crap end to a good day and needed to vent. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2rESeTy

3 year old refuses to go to bed. Becomes demonic.

Hi all.So I am the guardian of a lovely 3 year old. Honestly, he's lovely during the day. The odd temper tantrum as to be expected but on the whole he's great.Bed time is a whole different ball game.He has a routine, quiet time before bed, plenty of warning that bed time is coming soon. Usually accepts it and goes up to bed without a fuss, sometimes whinges but again, as to be expected. It's when he's actually been put to bed the trouble starts.He will fly out of bed after minutes of being there and then stand at his baby gate on his door, screaming the place down. Not because he's scared, but because he simply does not want to be in bed.My partner and I have tried almost everything. If you suggest it, we've probably tried it. No dice. Nothing. Attitude does not change.When we ask why he doesn't want to go to bed the answer is simple - "I don't want to go to bed". He doesn't listen to either of us, he firmly believes he makes the rules, and will scream and shout, bite and kick, scratch and punch us until we give in (we never do) or he falls asleep at his bedroom door (every single night).Has anyone else encountered such a problematic toddler at bedtime? If so, how did you get past it? I've read about people locking the bedroom door until they learn to stay in their bed, and that it only takes a few nights of this for them to learn, but that seems drastic and cruel.At this point we are at our wit's end. He has no respect for authority, doesn't listen, and any consequence we give him for his actions just washes over him. He doesn't care and would rather do what he wants. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2R1SUxk

I think I saw child porn on my dad's phone.

Please let me know if you think there is another place I should be posting this. This was the first group that came to mind.My dad is one of the most amazing people I have ever known. He is kind, thoughtful, selfless, funny. Not without issues or demons. But aside for my husband and son, he is the most important person in my life.Tonight, after Thanksgiving dinner, he went to take a picture of me and my brother. His camera roll popped up, and I saw, very clearly, a little boy with his back towards the camera, naked from the waist down. Internally, I freaked out. Shortly after, my brother and I confronted him. I asked him about what I had seen. He said it was a meme with a little kid peeing on something Trump-related. He had already deleted it. He was not defensive or angry. He offered to show me all of the pictures in his phone. I said I believed him, in between sobbing. He then said "I'm fine." I thought this was weird.My dad watches my son all the time. He stays here with him at night. He has watched him for a weekend. My son absolutely adores my dad.A few years ago, a little girl next door to my parents kept talking about her vagina. Her mom asked her who had talked to her about these things and she said, "[my dad's name]". My dad had a lot of contact with not only this little girl, but her whole family. They had become like family to us, and were at my parents' frequently.Like I said at the beginning, I love my dad more than anything. Aside from these two instances, I have no reason to believe he would do anything to harm my son, or any other child. I know I was not abused as a child.Am I overreacting? Do I have reason to be concerned? Where do I go from here? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2L4uVtp

It's almost that time of year again! For our USA friends, you can adopt local children's letters to Santa through the United States Postal Service's "Operation Santa"

Every year Santa gets more letters than he can answer. You can help—adopt a letter and fulfill someone's holiday wish.The United States Postal Service hosts "Operation Santa" each year, though only the last couple years has it been available through the web for certain areas. Now it appears to be open to everyone (in the US, anyway), as far as I can tell. Tell me in the comments if I'm wrong, though!Basically, through "adopting" a letter to Santa, you'll be able to gift the letter writer through the post office.A good summary of the program taken from this post at /r/Phoenix:Every year, the US Postal Service receives thousands of letters to Santa. Since 1912, the Postmaster General has allowed a handful of a dozen or so local post offices to read and adopt children's letters, particularly for families in obvious need. In the 1940s and 1950s, the public was allowed to participate, and the program was dubbed Operation Santa.Previously, participants had to go to participating post offices to view the physical letters. In 2017, the USPS ran a digital pilot of the program in their largest post office in New York City. Postal workers volunteered to sort and scan children's letters, removing any identifying information. The digital versions were made available online to the public. About 5,000 "elves" participated through the digital program.In 2018, the digital version of Operation Santa is expanding to several major cities, including Phoenix.So, now, you can view thousands of children's letters to Santa on the USPS Operation Santa website and help Santa deliver cheer to those in need.The OP of that thread also noted:The biggest impediment to Operation Santa's success is that USPS has done almost no marketing or promotion. Very few people know that the post office is doing this at all. So, I tell as many people as I can--in person and on social media--and encourage others to do the same.So once again I want to encourage those who can to participate and share :) via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qrkn0c

One thing you said you would never do as a parent and went back on your word

FTM to a six week old and it seems like everything I said I would never do as a parent I have pretty much done in the last six weeks. I said I would never use a pacifier and I stuffed one in my baby’s mouth three days after he was born to stop the crying. I said I would never co sleep and the baby would have to deal with sleeping in the crib and I let him sleep next to me for a few hours last night just to get some goddamn sleep.My husband made a snarky comment about how he’ll never let our son play on an iPad at a restaurant just to keep him quiet. Two months ago I would have agreed but now I have zero shame if it happens. Was there anything you were strongly against when it came to parenting and then gave in at the end? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2R104Ss

My take on the ‘forcing kids to hug their family members’ issue that comes up every holiday season

I don’t force my 4yo to hug anyone, because obviously that would be a violation of her bodily autonomy, but I also don’t think there’s anything necessarily awful about me suggesting the idea to her.Like today at the family thanksgiving meal, I suggested she go and hug her aunt and grandmother goodbye, and she was more than happy to do it. It wasn’t forced, only suggested, and she gladly went and hugged those family members and it was a natural, positive experience for her.Now, this may be controversial, but as my daughters first role model, I believe it’s important that I teach her that she has the autonomy to both accept and reject physical contact. Children do not exist in a bubble. They thrive in family/home/social environments in which they feel connected and secure, and I feel very strongly that there is nothing more deeply and viscerally connecting and safe to a child than a loving, warm embrace. An emotional connection between two people is going to be reinforced and strengthened with every positive instance of physical contact, and that is equally as true for kids as it is for adults.So even though it is not required, I do sometimes suggest hugs to my daughter at family events.And I believe that in consistently reinforcing the positive value of those touches, I’ve given my daughter an invaluable feeling of connectedness and an understanding of the importance of positive physical contact. She gets to retain her autonomy while also being encouraged to experience and internalize the closeness that comes along with willingly embracing safe, trustworthy people. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Owd1le