A little lot of background first: This conditioning came from my mother, who had my younger sister and I taken from her custody when we were 16 and 12. Someone called CPS on my mother after she beat my sister for not bringing her dishes into the kitchen. CPS placed us with my mother's friend, so she was in constant contact with us, threatening and bullying us. She told us that CPS just wanted to take us away so they could get funding from the government, that we would end up in a foster home being raped and abused by our foster father/brother, and would never come home. She never took any responsibility for the part she played in having us taken away, and blamed me for calling the police (I didn't). It was clear when they asked us what happened, she thought we would lie to protect her. Well, putting those other ideas in our heads worked. We reneged our statements, she told the court we were mad that she took our phones away, and they just ignored the bruises and panic attack my 12 year old sister had I guess. My mom also mentioned that her psych eval stated she needed to learn to take responsibility for her actions, which I think is pretty clear when you hear her excuses for this incident, and other abuse we endured growing up by her hands, and at the hands of people she trusted us with. CPS followed up for a few months with a few different counselors, and our case worker coming out every few weeks. My mother ingrained in our heads how they were only doing that so they could find an excuse to take us away (not because we/she needed it or anything), and kept reminding us what types of abuse we would endure in a foster home. She would even print out news articles from all over the country about kids being abused or even killed by their foster parents. I was terrified. At the time, it didn't occur to me that CPS was actually trying to make sure we were safe, and give us any services we might need (dealing with depression, PTSD, bpd, and anxiety at 16, I really could've used a real therapist and psychiatrist). I thought they were just trying to get me to say something that would get my mom in trouble, so when she denied any of us needing services so "we wouldn't have to deal with them anymore", I went along with it.Now here I am, a mother of 2, and I just learned that CPS can really be helpful. And I just wanted to remind people of that, especially young, single moms. You don't have to have a child abuse case open against you to get the help of their social workers. I was just in a car accident with my 1 year old; my family and I are also in the process of moving. I didn't know that after a car seat is in an accident, you have to dispose of it and get a new one, regardless if there's damage or not. Last week I called the local CPS agency, explained the situation, and my social worker ordered us a new car seat yesterday, and it was delivered today.I know a lot of moms who have had them help them get free child care (or very cheap with vouchers), helped them get cribs or other furniture for their kids, they've even gotten crib bumpers that are mesh in the middle, so there's no worry about the baby asphyxiating on it.Tl;dr: Don't be afraid to ask child services for help when you need it. As long as your child(ren) is safe, have food, clothes (which they can help you get), and a home, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2gPK3v4
