Husband trusts his sister to care for our children more than he trusts me.

I'm a mother of two 7yo twin boys with and I'm very distressed that my sister in law is more respected and influential on raising my children than I am.My sister in law is 8 years younger than me, has never had kids but is a psychology specialist and has several degrees and qualifications in child psychology and development. I don't have any fancy degrees and I'll admit I don't always have the right answers and make a lot of mistakes in raising two boys with developmental issues, BUT I am THE MOTHER. So I should be the authority right? Apparently not.From the time they were infants my husband, and everyone else in the family has deferred to his younger sister more for directing and handling how the boys are taken care of and what the best parenting choices are and it's infuriating to me.I had post pardom depression after giving birth and for a time our extended family really had to help me and my husband because I was such a mess. During this time everyone in the family made a huge fuss over how "amazing" my sister in law was with the babies. Because it just so happened that she was the only one who could them to stop crying, get them to bottle feed, and get them to sleep. The family called her "the baby whisperer" and always asked her what to do for the boys, even flat out IGNORING my input as a mother sometimes! Even then I'll admit I was very jealous and upset that she was able to care for them more than I was, and my envy was a big motivation in working towards recovering from the PPD.After I recovered she remained the primary female influence on raising the boys. My sons both have developmental disorders that she's "highly educated" on and she's always got the right answers and the right tactics to magically come out as the one who seems to be and appears superior in caring for them. Especially after several instances where I asserted my parenting plans and approaches to handling their developmental issues and these plans happened to technically "fail". Then after those failures of mine her suggestions went (admittedly) perfectly. My husband now completely stopped taking my word over hers for anything to do with the boys.It's gotten to the point where my husband gets annoyed/angry with me and the whole family acts like I'm being stupid if I go against what she says is best for the boys. Just because there have been times when what I wanted to do had bad results and hers had good ones.I've tried expressing these feelings to my husband but he just gets exasperated and tells me I'm being petty for not appreciating how "lucky" we are to have someone like his sister. I AM appreciative that she's in our lives. Without her help I honestly don't know how we would have even handled quite a few very hard situations and if I'm being honest I have to admit even to myself that when it comes to their developmental issues she knows a lot more than I do. BUT I'm just so tired of feeling as though I've been dethroned as the mother and of the entire family acting as though she is so much more important to the boys wellbeing than I am. What can I do?! Any advice or insight would be very loved and appreciated.TLDR: Entire family respects sister in law more than me as the person who knows what's best for my boys because she's got a better track record and I've made some mistakes. I've basically been dethroned as the mother. Talked to husband about it and he thinks I'm petty and should just be happy we have his sister to help us. I know I DO want/need her help and that she's better at a lot of parenting things than I am, but I still want to be the one who's respected more and has a higher standing as a mother.Cross posted to /r/advice and /r/RelationshipAdvice via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bCJRR5

Simply terrible kids products?

Thought I'd post this since I didn't find a dedicated subreddit. And I'm angry that after only 1 month, a kids electric toothbrush already died, and my kid actually likes it. Crappy toothbrush here.Can't replace the batteries, nor the head. Not worth it if it only runs for a month (recommended is 3 months for toothbrushes, so it could've at least ran another 2).So what do you have for your kids that just don't cut it? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bDcPtK

Cleaning up- preschooler who doesn't listen or care to lose them

My 3.5yo is very capable of cleaning up his toys. He's been doing it since he was just over 1yo. Now he flatly refuses. It's a major battle. If I tell him, he can't have the toy anymore if I have to clean them he will just tell me to take it then. He doesn't care if I throw it away or donate! What options do I have?Example, he throws his Legos on the floor. I tell him he has to play with them in his room because of his little sister. He can play with the next toy once the Legos are cleaned up. He will cry, make excuses about a bug in his room, a scratch that he needs a bandaid for, being scared of the sun shining in his room, wants to be held because he's sad, his stomach hurts. Things that never bother him until he has to clean up. I'm going nuts here running out of options. How long do I give him to clean up?Is it appropriate to tell him he can't leave his room until they are picked up? Am I expecting too much from him? I'm so sick of this constant battle. I already have a bunch of his toys sitting in the shed. Do I just keep taking them even if he doesn't care? I already give him a ton of positive affirmation when he does things well and without a fight. I feel like that's not even helping. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bCMKA5

Is it odd to have a teenage guy babysitting my kids?

There's a 17 year old boy who lives next door to me, and my kids absolutely adore him. I've had him over to babysit more times than I can count, and he's always been excellent. He's one of the sweetest kids I've ever met, and I've never had any second thoughts about letting him watch my children.Last night, though, I'd gone out to dinner with a few friends. One of my friends had told me that it was so difficult to find a babysitter to watch her kids on the weekends. I offered to reach out to my neighbor, to see if he'd be interested in helping out, but my friend told me that she'd never hire a male, especially a teen, to babysit, because "It's too risky and dangerous." I was taken a bit aback. Several of my other friends agreed with her, saying that they only hired women to babysit their children.Is that the general consensus on male babysitters? Why does it seem that being teen boy automatically makes you dangerous to kids? I really don't understand; shouldn't we judge people based on their characters, not their age or gender? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bKadwD

How do I repair my relationship with my 8 year old daughter?

So for the last 4 years, my daughter has been a "bad" kid. She was defiant, hypersensitive, argumentative, careless, reckless, rude, violent, aggressive, mean, and a hundred other things. We fought daily. And because the consequences we gave her for her bad behaviour didn't work, we upped our game and made the consequences more and more severe. Still didn't work. So maybe we weren't just getting through to her. So the consequences were escalated again, and we started yelling at her, because if she couldn't get the idea of losing toys, privileges, and activities, then surely if we let her know exactly how mad we were, then that would get her on track, right? Well no, of course not.So at a certain point we realized that no kid can consciously choose to be this bad, and there had to be something bigger going on besides her just being a difficult child and we took her to her pediatrician who basically sat her down and told her to "Stop it."Wow...cutting edge stuff right there, doc. A lot of good that did. So we went to other doctors...Of course at 4, 5, and 6 they are reluctant and/or unable to diagnose anything, and you're repeatedly told by actual experts, and "experts" that they're just kids being kids. I knew that wasn't true because she was nothing like my other kids nor was she anything like the other kids I saw (nephews/nieces/neighbours/family friends, etc.). We heard it all..."have you tried natural consequences? Reward charts? Gold stickers? All that other shit?" Yes of course we did. She would literally do something bad, and then go and get a toy (even a favourite toy) to give us to take away from her, or go and put an X on the day where she didn't achieve her behaviour goals for the day. She would consequence her goddamn self.So without getting into all the details, she has a few "disorders." She is being treated for all of them with medication, counseling, therapy, and all that other good stuff. And she really has become a completely different child. Looking back at the last 4 years I can't help but feel wracked with guilt because of how hard of a time my wife and I gave her, constantly on her case, making her feel like shit, causing her to act out/lash out, punishing her more, making it worse, and perpetuating that cycle.I can tell my wife and I are not her favourite people and that breaks my heart. I don't want to be best friends with her, because we're still her parents, but our relationship is so strained that she treats us like acquaintances, rather than parents. She lights up when sees other people in her life, but with my wife and I, it's like she's mad at us and we have no idea how to fix it. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bDsi0r

Is there a potty training book or guide that isn't written by crazy people?

Everything is either "Chinese children are potty trained at six months. If your 3-year-old isn't it's only because you've been brainwashed by Global Capitalism" or "your kid will be potty trained when he wants, doing anything at all will probably cause UTIs and probably ruin your relationship completely."Is there anything in between? Potty training for normal people with lives and stuff? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bC1aBI

7 MO daughter: My wife says she needs to see a craniosacral therapist because our baby is "not symmetrical". Advice please.

So a couple things here.My wife thinks that our daughter is "not symmetrical" which she says is the reason why she has yet to begin crawling. She also got this idea that she uses the right half of her body too much. Got this from her chiropractor that claims that babies that show too much handedness...well it's a sign of poor development or future motor control issues or something.So she wants to take her to a cranioscral therapist to get "adjusted". I'm just not sure about it. I did a google and I found some people swear by it and others not, and even a story of a baby dying from the "therapy".Does anyone have any more info? I'm just not sure how to feel about it.edit: I did a bit more googling and now I'm a tad concerned. Baby stiffens right leg more than the left and definitely right hand dominant. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bW0NyF

Minecraft is destroying our sanity

My boyfriend's 7 year old daughter (only child) is absolutely obsessed with being on the computer, Minecraft, and Minecraft videos on YouTube.She will not talk about anything else. She is not even remotely interested in anything else. My boyfriend and I are constantly trying to engage her in other activities; for example: my boyfriend loves baseball, so he brought home a tee ball post and is trying to teach her how to play catch and hit the ball. She will spend maybe 20 minutes outside before complaining that she wants to go back on the computer and play Minecraft.We've tried teaching her how to ride a bike (at age 7 she is nowhere close to being able to ride without assistance which I find odd) with the same results.I've tried getting her involved in crafts, like making beaded jewelry, origami, etc. After a day she's bored of it and it's back to Minecraft.She used to love to draw, but over the last year or so, her interest has severely dwindled. She got a ton of art supplies for Christmas and hasn't touched them. I can't remember the last time she drew a picture.We've received complaints from her teachers at school that all she talks about is Minecraft.We take her to the park to try and meet other kids, and all she wants to talk about is Minecraft to the point where other kids will just walk away from her.It's impossible to have a conversation with her, because no matter what you are talking about, she will perpetually try to turn the conversation to Minecraft.Even at the strangest of times, she will interject Minecraft into the conversation. A few nights ago we were eating dinner and watching a movie (Addams Family) and she kept trying to interrupt the movie with stuff about Minecraft. This is constant. Every conversation.Due to all of this, my boyfriend and I had a long talk together as well as with his daughter's mother and we all decided to limit her computer time to the weekends, at least during the school year. We were hoping that, when she gets home from school we could have family time instead - watch movies, play board games, read books, just do stuff together and get her interested in new things.. but no matter what we try to do together, all she cares about is Minecraft.We don't know what else to do. Any attempts at introducing her to things are met with a "meh" attitude. Any attempts at family time are met with resistance. We are extremely sick of Minecraft.Any suggestions before we lose our minds? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bD7p5j

2.5 Yr Old: Wants Me To Play, But Keeps Getting Mad At "How I Play"

Lately, my little boy's 'toddler-attitude' is getting worse! Little bugger is really pushing it. I come to you more experienced parents for some guidance.I expect my toddler to be defiant and somewhat difficult when we're asking him to do something he doesn't want to do (I get that), but why is he starting to act up during playtimes?It'll be something like this, which I have to assume, you are familiar with:We start playing Cars; He'll grab Lightning McQueen, I'll grab Doc Hudson, and then he'll freak out at the what I'm doing with Doc Hudson... Whether it be "what I'm saying" or "how I'm driving around" whatever. Stupid stuff: "NO DADDY, STOP IT.." (Usually, as he then tries to take away the car from me...) Do This...Or if we start coloring, he will want to take whatever crayon I pick. "I was using that one, buddy, but you can use it. Remember to share, ok?" "OK." (I pick up another one and start coloring.) I can't even finish coloring, and he's trying to take my new crayon...This kind of behavior isn't hitting, biting, hurting, etc., so it's hard for me to consider time-out, but I also don't want to set a precedent. This is beginning to ruin our playtimes, as I'm sure you could imagine. If he keeps acting up, and I threaten to stop playing with him, he really doesn't understand, and when I actually do get up and try to "reset" the situation, then he's just back to "Daddy Sit Down" within minutes.We've been playing with the same things for a while now (Cars, Thomas Trains, Playschool People/Farm/Castle, Coloring, Playdoh, Blocks, etc. Maybe he's getting bored of these toys, although I really don't think that's it.Any thoughts on how to handle the behavior when we are playing? How do I curtail the situation so that it doesn't escalate? Any thoughts in general? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ccpZjx

Considering trying for our second child but worried about how my daughter 14(f) will react.

My wife and I feel like we are ready to welcome a new baby into our home. We've talked extensively about this, and agreed that I finally have a well established job. She no longer has to work, we've bought our first home.We are both 32, so still young enough to have a baby.The only problem is that we are very concerned about how our older daughter will react. How much jealousy will there be? We had my daughter when we were 18, and we've traveled through a tough road of being broke, me away at college, both o us working... It was very hard until we got to where we are now.We are both ready for the baby, and will be able to spend much more time should we have one. Also our families (well hers) will be happy and more receptive of the new baby. They were not supportive at all when we had our daughter, refused to see her until she was six.If we have this new baby, not only will my daughter not be our only child. The baby will have advantages she never had, will be spoilt more by grandparents (and us, just due to our financial situations at the time), and will have more time with us.I don't want her to feel like she is the mistake child and is now being pushed a side for the prodigal child.I'm concerned about the age gap, as my brother is only two years older than my daughter and we don't get a long at all.Should we start trying, or settle for one, beautiful child? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bBUOMw

Weekly- Wallet Wednesday- August 31, 2016

This is a weekly thread where you can share pictures of your children and cute, crazy or awful things they have done. Please upload your pictures through Imgur and post the link as a comment. Feel free to share the context of the picture! If you are not a parent yourself, this is the place to ask us anything. Also, if you ever wonder who we are, click here to meet the mod team! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bBGQz0

My 7. Y.O. son keeps crawling in my bed at night

I have a 7 YO son and a 3 (almost 4) daughter. For the better part of a month my son has been waking up between 2 and 4 a.m. and crawling in my bed. The first time, I thought "oh well...". He would occassionaly do that, perhaps once a month or two months, and I figured he just had an off night. The second night I didn't even hear him and I woke up and he was sleeping next to me. Since then, it's been almost every night--at best, every other night--that he's woken up and tried to crawl into my bed. I am kind of at a loss. It seems he regresses to "I'm scared" (in a very, tired/whiney voice in which you know there's no rational conversation at this hour about fears), although I suspect that while that may in some part be a small part of the reason, he is largely waking up because he knows there's a good possibility that he can manage to get in my bed for awhile, if not the whole night (before my daughter turned three, she would do this almost every night--wake up in the middle of the night, simply out of habit--and waddle her way down to my bed). He's never had this problem before...if ever it were two nights in a row, I could just place him back in his bed on the second night and tell him "Daddy's bed is for daddy. Your bed is for you" and he wouldn't rinse and repeat the behavior.A bit of background. I'm a single father, full time. When my kids were 3.5 and 6 months, respectively, their mother passed away suddenly. Stability and consistency aren't entirely luxuries we have afforded, though I feel I've done a pretty good job overall in trying to be emotionally present, acknowledge their feelings, enact consistent discipline. I'm a million miles away from perfect, but I don't think this issue has to do with not getting the needed attention or verbal affirmation (even if I sometimes have to be more segmented about it--two of them, one of me). My son is also increasingly a hyper-sensitive child, I believe. He's definitely ADHD--his mother, uncles, and grandfather has it. He's not my biological son, so I'm not 100% sure what psychological stuff exists on that side (he's fully adopted by myself though). But it seems that this middle of the night stuff has happened in conjunction with an increase in his sensitivity levels. If he bumps his shoulder (as long as there's nothing more stimulating), he's liable to cry about it (or, at the very least, insist he needs to tell me about it). He's got a ton of energy and can be motivated to be an awesome helper but other times it's an incredible struggle to get him to do anything much at all without him taking it as personal rejection. Hence, I don't want to turn the middle of the night stuff into "I don't want you to be here" but I can't have me and my kids sharing the same bed. They have their own and I can't keep waking up every night to put a seven year old boy back in his, all the time worrying about the level of self-rejection he's taking it to be.Okay--sorry this was a bit long. Our world's a bit of a mess and as someone who's decently informed about human psychology, I also understand a lot of this is pretty multi-dimensional. That said, he's a 7 y.o. boy and I'm at a loss for what to do here.Oh...and yes...he has a nightlight, we say our prayers, and we avoid scary stories/shows, etc. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bB2CnW

daughter (10F) keeps saying things that make me and her stepmom sad about the relationship with bio-mom

This is really more of a rant or a brain dump than asking for advice, because I already know the right thing to do.TLDR: My 10-year-old daughter is telling us things about her mother's parenting that upset us, and I have to tell someone.My ex-wife isn't a perfect person. That's okay; I'm not either. But in the past three weeks, my daughter has said more about the bad things that happen with her mother than ever before. She's not being physically abused (the worst of it is neglect and getting yelled at a lot), but some of the things she says are really upsetting me and my wife (my daughter's stepmom -- who by the way she adores and respects despite only having been around for two years).Here are some of the things my daughter has said lately:"Mommy's going to kill me!" repeated multiple times, when she got a failing grade on an assignment."Mommy just yells at me," when she is asked why she can't have a phone yet."Mommy spends all her time on her phone," during what little time they have together (because the kid spends over 2.5 hours in transit every day she's not in our custody)."Mommy never makes me burgers or spaghetti because she says 'we don't have time'," which is probably true because they don't get home until 7:30pm. She's not even asking for anything complicated."Daddy pays mommy money, right?" asked to stepmom, who said yes and explained it age-appropriately. The next comment from my daughter was, "I don't know where the money goes because mommy doesn't ever buy me anything." (I'm pretty sure it all goes to the mortgage and the private school; my ex has never been a shopaholic or a money-waster.)"Okay, but I'd still like to have been told," when she told us that her mother hasn't bought her a birthday present in two years. There was no excuse last year, but this year her mother gave her a nice party. My daughter just wanted to be told that that was her gift."Why does daddy have to pay mommy?" The answer was, "it's based on who makes more money and who spends more time with the kids." My daughter said, "but you and daddy spend more time with me." That's even though we have her one fewer day a week.I remember, when I was a kid and going through a rough behavior patch, my dad sat me down and told me how I was making him and my mother feel, and that my mother would cry a lot. Well, my daughter's behavior isn't perfect, but it's not as bad as mine was. Still, I feel like crying a lot because my daughter is reaching out for more from her mother, and she's not getting it. We do the best we can, but we only have her for three days a week.It's killing me, but I know I just have to wait it out until my daughter can legally choose which parent she wants to live with. I'm certain I know what the answer will be. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bVkYgh

Potty training...now or later?

DS is 22 months and we're expecting a baby in December. I feel like we should start trying to potty train now so that we don't have two in diapers, and I've heard there's an ideal potty training window between 20 and 30 months.If we have success with potty training now, will he regress when the baby arrives? If we wait until after the baby, how long should we wait? I'm assuming we should give it a couple of months to space out the big changes in his life, but then we'll be awfully close to the threenager stage.I think potty training is the first parenting challenge that seriously overwhelms me. Help! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bV3LDz

5yo REFUSES to eat any fruits or vegetables. 99% sure I'm doing something wrong as a parent.

Daughter, 5, eats ZERO fruits and veggies. I always put a little of something on her plate, maybe two blueberries, or a single baby carrot, or one little friendly slice of apple. 10/10 ends up in the trash.Tried smoothies ("um... I don't really like this...") Yay she tried a sip? She eats wheat bread thank God. She's always constipated and I am more concerned with her trying and enjoying food as opposed to getting the vitamins (I use PediaSure and gummy vitamins occasionally) I'm not interested in hiding fruit or veggies, I just want my daughter to not have the gag reflex if a strawberry touches her sandwich. And not be afraid to try it.I must have done something wrong as a parent in general. Yes, there has been an occasional rage moment where I yell and don't let her leave the table, but not for a few years. I'm really trying to be nonjudgmental of her stupid habits and encouraging about new things.Ideas?? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bFiJLt

My kindergartner is being bullied in the after school program and I'm not sure how to intervene.

My 5 year old has been in the program for about 3 weeks now and at first the bullying was only minor but it has escalated rapidly. It started with one of the older kids picking on him for little things. Telling him his brand new shoes are ugly, that he's not good at an activity, things like that. My child is incredibly social and has never had a hard time making friends but he is quickly losing his friends because they are becoming victims by association. He didn't mind when the older kid was picking on him, but now that his favorite friends "hate him" I can tell it's starting to get to him despite his positive outlook.Picking him up today he was sitting with a group of boys and when he saw me he jumped out of his seat and said "mama!" An older boy mimicked him in an over the top whiny voice and the rest joined in. I couldn't believe this kid would be so cruel, especially in front of an adult. It was also disconcerting to see the rest of the kids join in. I asked him if he played with anyone at after school today and he said yes, but he was mostly upset that they picked on his friend as well.I asked him if he wanted to go to another after school program but he insists that he wants to stay at his school. He loves his school and comes home happy every single day. He is proud by nature and it takes a lot to hurt him, which is why I think the older kids are being relentless. I'm definitely going to talk with the program director but other than that I don't know how to help my child because he makes it seem like he doesn't need it. When I talk to him about it he is quick to say "they are just bullies" like bullies are no big deal and can't hurt him. He is having no problem socializing at school. Walking him to class at least one kid will say hi to him in the hallway. Even at the grocery store kids of all different ages will say hello and know him by name. He is a likable fellow because he is so friendly and non exclusive, but my biggest fear is that he will become jaded from the torment.Where do I go from here? This is not normal elementary school behavior is it? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bZbK43

The Condom Conundrum

oh boy.I have always encouraged my 13 year old son to talk with me about anything. He knows I will tell him the truth. This includes sex, masturbation, and "if you are going to have sex, WRAP IT UP!" kind of conversations. We have also spoke of how sex should only be with someone you love. (esp the first time!)Today my son text me and said "My friend needs condoms. He has a girlfriend and his parents wont get him any. He doesn't want to disclose who he is" Me - "Okay, lets talk about it tonight"Tonight we chatted. He doesn't want to say who is the friend. I said to him "I want to know 3 things. 1. Has he ever spoke with his parents about sex? 2. If so, has he spoke with them about wanting to have sex and needing condoms? 3. Has he spoke with his guidance counselor?The answer I received was "his parents are super christian and there is no way he can ask them". Then he grabbed $10 and said "please buy them".I dont intent to buy condoms for some 13 year old boy I dont know. And I dont think my son is the "friend" because he is still in the sports mode, not the girl mode.But how do I approach this? The ultimate goal would be that my son knows he can come to me for anything....and if I can help him, I will.But this one....ummm....help? :) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bHrN4g

Please help, my 5 year old is driving ruining my life

Let me start by, I love my 5 year old, yet at the same time I can barely stand her around me as of late. See i'm a single parent of 4 kids (their mother is psychotic and actually tried to kill our 5 year old, before the problems started). I love spending time with my kids and play with them often, i'm the type of parent that rarely spanks. Recently my 5 year old has started some really bad behavior since we moved to a new house. This the first time we have had a actual yard, since we have mainly been in apartments. She has been sneaking out to the point that the police has been called on me. How did you sneak out. First day opened the door that was blocked with a sofa (had to go to store to buy latch). Secound day while putting up latches she opened the windows. Put locks on windows and now just a few days ago, I forgot to put a master lock on a latch and she used a brook to open it up at 7:am and took her 3 year old sister with her. The police have threatened to arrest me if it happens again and cps has shown up threatening if it happens again all my kids will go to foster care (my parents are alcoholics, my sister is too, my grandparents are dead, her side is full of racist conservatives and criminals (think slumlords that also keep their families in the slums. One has had 4 heat strokes because she refuses to install ac even thought she is setting over $500,000. Her dad is also a pedophile). I do not have any friends and without a car I cannot get her counseling other than from a place that has a 6-9 month wait). Enough of my woes in that area. She also lies to me while getting caught in the act and blames it on her sisters. The other day she through a toy at my monitor trying to hit her 3 year old sister because I let my 3 year old play a game. She takes food from others at the table, she will get into food if I stupidly leave the baby gate down. I watch her most of the time, but I have to use the restroom often (I pee a lot for some reason). She cannot play in the room with her sisters without causing issues, she cannot play outside without trying to hurt someone, even if i'm watching and she is aware of it. Awhile back when this first started she pushed her younger sister on the sidewalk while we were looking at ducks. I'm honestly scared of my child and what she will do to my other children. My youngest (age 1) doesn't play with my 5 year old, hell she avoids her. I don't loose my cool when she does these things, I keep emotion out of it. Bacally at this point, my I have 10x more trust in my 1 year old than my 5 year old. My oldest is 8 and never acted like this. I don't know what to do, sometimes I wish I could give her up for adoption. I don't want to give her up because I still love her, but I think often I would and her sisters would be much happier. Btw cps didn't want to help, they just told me to stop making excuses and to basically be more responsible.Incase you are wondering, she is good when we are in public. Home is where the problem is. She gets good exercise too, we often to the grocery store every other day which is nearly a mile walk. Other thing is I can barely take my kids outside to play, she'll ether disobey (throwing dirt and rocks, or hurting someone). If I set her in time out she screams and i'm worried about the police being called because these are not normal kid crying screams, they are the type of scream a kid does when they get hurt. If I send her inside I panic because i'm afraid she'll escape or destroy something and get us kicked out of our house. First day she drew all over the walls with a crayon, despite 2 weeks of warnings not to before hand. My other kids listen, they turn themselves in when they do bad. They ask why they got in trouble or can't do that and I explain and they understand. My 5 year old does not ask why and does not learn you can't do that. Sometimes I want to blow my brains out, I wanted to go to college, but I can't now because of her behavior. Anyone that has tried to watch can't stand her and has even ran off one my counselors.Sorry if this post is a mess, I'm just so upset typing this. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bQl3o6

The carnivore question

Tldr version : How do I explain to my 4 year old that her favorite food (pepperoni) is made from her favorite animal(pig)?My daughter has been asking a lot of questions about and where things come from. Most of these are easily answered by google images or youtube. Pictures of strawberry plants or a how its made video is easy. Explaining that meat is dead animals is trickier. So far when it comes up we say things like "hamburgers are made of beef" and rely on her not asking where beef comes from. It is going to be time to explain any day now so how did other meat eating parents handle this one? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bEy9zG

13 year old just found out I smoke.

He went in the car to get something, found a pack on the seat and stomped in yelling at me in disbelief. I was a reformed smoker for 17+ years and recently started again. My SO knows and we both thought my son had a clue (commenting on the way I smelled or asking why there was a lighter in the garage... He is a smart kid. ) He is up in his room fuming and most likely disappointed and heartbroken, since he's always been taught how bad it is for you. I don't know how to deal with explaining it to him :( via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bApBJy

i am exhausted

Beyond exhausted.I'm a widow with three little boys. I stay home and babysit for three other single moms, four extra children total, with all different work and school schedules. I can't afford to put my own kids in daycare, this is how I make ends meet, barely.That's seven kids. Seven different wants, needs, likes, dislikes, and schedules.My extended family is small and distant. My in laws don't like being around my children because (they're assholes) it reminds them of the son they lost. I have no help, and I just need a break. Occasionally, I have a friend watch my kids so I can take a day off, sort of. But when I need it most, when I've had no sleep, and bedtime is still five hours away, and I need to cook and clean and everyone needs me RIGHT. NOW. I just wish I could turn to my husband and ask for five minutes alone. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bPUkYN

Potty training- wiping question.

My 2 year old daughter is now potty trained, but she is super independent and doesn't like me going with her when she pees. (She is the opposite when she poops, needs company the whole time.) Anyway, she obviously isn't wiping every time she goes and she likes to sneak off when I'm not paying attention to go. Is this bad for her? I'm going to put some tp next to her potty- already torn into proper sections, but I'm guessing it will be a while before she remembers every time. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2cpfy0e

[x-post from /r/relationships] My (27F) friend (27F) is angry at me for telling my son and daughter (6) the facts of life

Hi, I've posted this on /r/relationships but I thought I'd post here too, just in case. I hope I haven't broken any rules.My twins Max* and Emily* are both very much into human biology, like I was when I was their age. My ex (their dad, 28M) and I get them age appropriate books, and they had a basic knowledge of how the body works. The other week, they both simulatenously started bothering me about where babies come from after noticing my friend's pregnant belly. My ex and I spoke about it and decided we'd tell them together. When I was little and started asking, my mother sat me down in front of Look Who's Talking and then answered my questions from seeing that, and borrowed some books from the library - I never remember being sold a story about the stork. My ex had a lot of that hidden from him and told me he didn't want his children finding out in their own way. It's the summer holidays so over a week, we did activities together with the kids and basically guided the conversation so they ended up asking, which they did eventually and we told them everything, but in a very gentle way, and followed their lead with the answers we gave. They understood and I'm really proud of them and how smart they are, and also of my ex - I couldn't ask for a better father for them.Now onto my friend. The other day my twins and I were at her house. They were playing with her 5 year old son, and we were sitting in the living room chatting. I heard the conversation, where my daughter started talking about what her mummy and daddy told her about where babies really come from - I get the impression this was a continuation of an earlier conversation where she was about to brag. I shot both of them The LookTM and they knew to stop talking before they said anything more (I know I'm biased but they really are smart lol), and that was the end of that. However, apparently that night, my friend's son kept bugging her about her belly and how the baby got there. The following morning (yesterday), she messaged me saying that I shouldn't have told my kids, that they'll end up being a bad influence on other kids and that I've robbed them of their innocence and that she doesn't want her son's innocence ruined too. I responded that if she feels that way that she shouldn't let him hang out with them. I got no response.I'm feeling really shitty at the moment. Apart from that incident, my friendship with her has been strong, and she doesn't have that many people to help her while she's pregnant. My kids have started asking after her son. I've known her since we were 11. However, I also feel I did the right thing in telling my kids - it was something I'd always planned to do. I have told them not to share it with any other kids and explained that it's a special thing that mummies and daddies tell their kids and it can't be anybody else, and they seem to understand that.I think the question probably caused my friend to panic and she's taking it out on me, but I feel hurt about the robbing innocence remark. I didn't show them a porn video and leave them to figure it out on their own. I also feel like she'll eventually come round but I want to reach out and give us an opportunity to talk properly.tl;dr: I taught my 6 year olds the facts of life, and they nearly shared this with my friend's 5 year old. Now my friend is upset with me and thinks I robbed their innocence. How can we get past this? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bzBPp7

Need advice for helping 5 year old cope with loss of father

Seven months ago, my son's father and I amicably separated. He was great about the whole thing, and made it very clear he wanted to continue to co-parent with me. In May, he found a new lady friend, whom he'd had a relationship with many years prior to us meeting, and suddenly his whole outlook changed.She was incredibly jealous of our life together. The marriage, the kids... And she told him that if he wanted to be with her, he needed to give us all up and start a family with her immediately----which included reversing a vasectomy.I didn't think much of it when he told me about it (we maintained very open communication), but a week after she'd given him the ultimatum, he informed me that he was done being a father and was signing over his rights and access to the children (S-5; D-3), and he'd chosen Aug 1 as the date for it to happen.I don't know what the hell was going through his mind, but he chose to tell my son that he was leaving to make a new family, and as promised, August 1st is the last time they saw their father.I have never seen heartbreak like this. I feel his pain so viscerally. He is acting out because of it, and despite weekly counseling, we've seen little improvement in his behavior. He gets angry and violent more often than not, and takes much of his aggression out on his sister.Life is hell with him around, and I'm struggling to help him and stay sane at the same time.Any suggestions or advice to help ease my baby's pain would be so so appreciated. I am at my wit's end, and desperately need this to end! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bytjK4

Child won't stop peeing at night

My son is 4. He has been potty trained for over a year now. We have been doing pull ups a night cuz it's easier. But I decided after buying this last box that was going to be it. We are into the second week and he is still peeing every single night. I know he can hold it but just is so used to being able to go in a pull up maybe?I've tried making him clean up the pee on the bed and the bedding. Bribing him with a treat if he doesn't pee his underwear. Getting mad/showing disappointment when he does pee himself. I also have him avoiding fluids hour before bed. Having him pee before bed. I don't know what else to do.I'm 8 months pregnant so I'm thinking that I'm going to start waking him up when I pee in the night to help. But not sure if that's really going to help in the long run.Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2c8IBkj

[Update] Oh Crap Potty Training - anyone else start early?

Update to my post from yesterday:I emailed Jamie Glowacki, the author, and got a response from her assistant, who recommended putting the potties underneath the tables she was running under when "caught" peeing or pooping. This would give her more privacy.First thing this morning I set the kid up with a book on her potty under the table and walked away. Giant turd plus pee in the potty. :) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bPl0Zr

[Serious] Parenting advice needed, what to do with my 13-year old son, whom I just caught sneaking back into home @ 4:am? (x-post from r/askmenover30)

Copying my message from other subreddit, your advice is appreciated:Hi guys,Long story short, I had trouble sleeping tonight, so I was smoking, out on my back porch, when I heard some noises, coming from my backyard gate.It was my 13 year old son and his (currently) best friend sneaking back into the house. My son was just able to utter an (I imagine) astonished "Oh" and his friend was gone with the wind.This happened 30 minutes ago, and according to my son (who doesn't seem to be under influence of drugs and/or alcohol) two of them have been hanging out with two girls that they like in the neighborhood park.I had a quiet, mostly fact gathering talk with him, and sent him to bed.What is a parent to do?My wife is asleep, and doesn't know about this yet, I will talk to her tomorrow.I need to go to sleep, as I have to work, in a few hours, so I would really appreciate some some sound advice, on how to deal with this.Here are my initial thoughts:!) Have all parents informed (not sure how feasible is this as some parents are divorced, and we haven't met any of them previously) about the fact that their children are out @ 4:00 am.2) Invite everybody over (parents and kids), and have a discussion on how we can make sure that they are safe, and not out of the house that late.I don't think there is a much point in forbidding them to be together as they obviously care so much to go to such an extreme, AND I have read "Romeo and Juliet", but I cannot let him/them be outside this late. It is a pretty safe neighborhood, but still, they are just 13 years old.What do you think?P.S. - Thank you all for your advice (in advance, as I have to go to bed, and will probably not able to get back to you, until tomorrow, or the day after, but I will will try to read your input)! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2cbZVb5

Beginning reading games and apps

We are starting to teach our son the basics of reading. Realizing how much random useless information he learning from some of his video games, I was thinking a reading game might be a good way to trick him into learning reading skills as he is having fun. So does anyone know of any good reading games or apps that we might look into? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2c5wIvi

Tip for infants/toddlers not quite big enough to sit in the shopping cart seat.

I discovered this by accident but since I've started doing it parents come up to me in the store every single time and tell me it's clever so I thought I'd share it here.Basically, you just need a pool noodle. With the little one sitting normally in the shopping cart seat with legs through each hole, place the noodle behind them and bend each end towards the front and across the lap. Facing the child, place the right end through the left leg hole and the left end through the right leg hole. I have a photo but linking is discouraged here. It ends up looking like the cover of Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells album.I know there are pads and products out there for this purpose but the noodle supports him/her well, is something that they can hold onto, doesn't take up much room in the car, and it's cheap and fun.I promise I don't sell pool noodles for a living. Hope this is helpful. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bCpZYF

Weekly - Ask parents everything - August 30, 2016

This bi-weekly thread is meant as a place for non-parents and parents to ask questions to the community.Note - Remember that all questions and responses must adhere to our community rules.For daily questions see /r/Askparents via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2cbPjcg

Bio Dad is beginning to pee me right off! Please tell me I'm doing the right things here.

I'm the stepdad to a 9 year old boy. Raised him since he was 1 years old. He has a biological Dad who's an absolute idiot, and right now he is beginning to get on my nerves.First of all he hasn't done a thing for his son. He doesn't pay anything towards things he needs such as school clothes, shoes, trainers, etc. In the 8 years I've looked after his child he's probably given us £20 max.Whilst I'm at home working until god knows what time he's getting high on drugs acting like the proud parent who does nothing for his child.He used to see him every 2 weeks on a regular basis, but then he told me he became addicted to legal highs and wasn't well. His contact became irregular and when he had my stepson overnight my stepson would say "Daddy spent all day in bed and I was bored". Obviously he was drugged up.The week after he told us this he was arrested for dealing drugs from his property. That was back in April.My partner instantly stopped his contact until the dealings with the police were over and he sorted his life out. He didn't sort his life out because 3 weeks after he was sent to prison for smashing his girlfriends house up. He was already on bail for the drug offence.Yesterday he called after having no contact for 6 months.He was released from prison last week, yet it took him until yesterday to call. And now he wants to meet up to discuss things. His words were "We could meet at a cafe, talk about the current situation, and hopefully I can take J (the child) with me so he can stay over the night".HELL. NO. OVER. MY. DEAD. BODY.You don't just waltz out of prison, leave it a week to contact us, then demand you want to take your son. It doesn't work like that. Both me and my partner can not trust him right now to do what's right for his child. The last time he had drugs in house, and was getting high, whilst J was in his care.He wanted to meet up Thursday. We've cancelled the meeting. We feel that we shouldn't have to give up our time to fix his mess.I feel like this now needs to go through legal channels. I'm concerned he's using drugs. I'm angry that he doesn't put his hand in his pocket to support his son. I'm angry that this waste of space walks around like his son is a trophy.On the plus side my partner wants me to adopt my stepson legally. She said if anything ever happens to her she doesn't want his bio Dad to be able to take over his care. So I guess that's a plus.But do you think we're right to take this through a court regarding his contact? The needs to prove that he's not on drugs, and his life has changed. We would both rather his contact now go through a contact center to begin with until he can prove he's a responsible parent. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2coqZW5

My step-daughter (17F) and her first job!

So today was my step-daughters first day at her new job and she was very nervous and excited about it. We talked about how crazy it was because she really didn't know what was going on the whole time but she sounded positive.This evening after I got home from being with my son, my wife tells her daughter to tell me what happened at work. Apparently, her manager offered to sell her weed and after my daughter declined she asked her how old she was. I was livid, what kind of adult in a leadership position is offering to sell kids weed?? The manager went on to tell her that she has a MMJ card and she gets it for the rest of the employees as well.So it all blows up and we argue because her mom doesn't think I should do anything because her daughter handled it. I'm glad my daughter was truthful and handled it the way she did but I don't agree with this managers actions. Am I overreacting? I should state that I am pro marijuana and think it's a lot safer than alcohol, but it's still illegal in our state and trying to peddle your medical marijuana to my kids is unacceptable. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bSvcOn

Am I wrong for wanting to purchase ear plugs to cancel out crying?

So, I'm prepping for the arrival of my second son and i brought up picking up some ear plugs to my wife to help cancel out the crying. With my first son, i was suprised by how stressed out I was when he would cry. It wasn't the act of crying but the pitch and volume that would get to me. It felt like he was screaming from the inside of my brain. When this happened I would have feelings of anger, despair and even violence. Needless to say I reacted poorly in a few situations. I dont want to feel that way again and I dont want to further upset the kid. My wife thinks its strange and is making me feel a little guilty.Does anyone here have any experience with using plugs or have any feelings as to why it may be immoral to use them? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bO8mdq

I just found out she's really mine..

Back story- I had a fling with a girl I loved my whole life and still love but I guess she wasn't ready.. She said she loved me but she was also seeing another guys on the side. We did it a couple times and then she told me she was pregnant. We didn't talk after that. I was in shock and really angry at her. I loved her all my life and the chance it could be some other guys baby really made me angry. She texted me a picture after the baby was born and I didn't respond. It was a little girl, she was beautiful and looked like me. I knew she was mine but I was just so angry still at her mom. Time went on and we had no contact although I'd see the pictures of them on Facebook through friends profiles or around town.. They moved out of our town and I felt a great sense of relief. Today I got a message from her mom saying "I had a paternity test done on the other dad and it came back negative so she's for sure yours, I don't want anything from you but know you're about to get married and will probably have more kids soon. Evie is sick with a genetic disease and wont live much longer. You should see a genetic counselor before having more children." I'm in shock. I don't know what to tell my future wife. I don't know what to say to this woman who I loved and still love who has been there every moment for my dying child while I've been a dick. I never told my family or anyone. I don't think I can go anywhere home to my future wife, my sister, my parents, a bar no where feels good. Church doesn't even feel right. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bNBLUO

Opinions please! My daughter's father is a nightmare who takes me to court constantly

My childs father is emotionally abusive and impossible to coparent with. He has informed me that he got another lawyer and is taking me to court, again, over my daughter starting kindergarten. I have sole physical, and state joint legal. I consistently inform him of all school and medically related decisions, as well as daycare changes etc like I'm supposed to. Be couldn't be bothered unless it inconveniences him in some way. Then he starts attacking me and its unbearable. Some issues he has recently started would be allowing our daughter to hold his gun, letting his girlfriend bathe with her (never even met her, i dont even bathe with her, just assist) takes her out of state to girlfriends house without informing me per his request that i don't take her out of state without letting him know. His mother has my child during his time while he stays out of state at his girlfriend's. Plus more ridiculous issues. He can afford a lawyer, i cannot. Any advice? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2cn3bBS

I [17f] dont know how to talk to my dad [48m] about him being so controlling over me

I'll try to make this as short as possible -Mom and dad split when I was 4. Mom got really strung out on drugs. My dad won full custody of me and my mom only got supervised visitation, after a while, she stopped showing up for visitation and hasn't paid child support in years. Haven't had any contact with my mom since I was 9 years old.Dad's never been with anyone else since he and my mom split. He's had 2 or 3 girlfriends since my mom, but they never lasted long. It's always been just me and himI work my own job at a fast food restaurant after school and on the weekends. Because I'm still in high school (graduate next June) I can't work more than 30 hours a weekIt seems like ever since I turned 16, my dad has become this total control freak. He won't let me take driver's ed so I can get my license, he won't let me buy my own clothes without his approval (that even extends to underwear and yes, it's really creepy to have your middle aged father picking out what underwear you can and cannot buy). Makeup, who I'm talking/texting, etc. He will regularly take my phone out of my room while Im sleeping and go through my texts/call log to see who I'm talking to.He also demands that I pay for my own cell phone (which I do), my own groceries (I do), and give him a share of rent. If I dont do these things, my dad will get angry with me and in the past, has taken my bedroom door off the hinges. I cant have the bathroom door locked or shut my bedroom door. My bed must be made before I go to school (which is fine, I really dont mind making my bed) but I must give him my laptop (that I cant have a password on) to him so he can see my browser history (thank god for Incognito)The most recent thing thats happened is I went shopping with friends at the mall. I ended up spending more than I wanted to on the things I bought but, I had already gave my dad rent and paid my share of the phone bill. I really didnt think it would be that big of a deal and I still had money left over to buy my own groceries. What cost so much was that today was my friends birthday and I bought her a couple of bath bombs from Lush because I knew she never used one before. I went to Victoria's Secret as well and bought myself two new pairs and some better fitting/cuter looking underwear (because good god I am so tired of wearing fucking granny panties) and some clothes from LoveCulture (I really love that store)I dont know what my dad's problem is, but he's known to have anger outbursts over simple silly things. When my friends dropped me off at home, he demanded to see what I had bought. I really didnt want to show him what I had bought but he threatened to not give my laptop back, so I didWhen he saw the things I had bought from Victoria's Secret, he asked wtf was I doing with clothing that "whores wear". I told my dad I was tired of wearing sports bras that have no support and hurt (Im unfortunately big chested and my dad is always telling me I cant wear anything that isnt "modest" and shows off the fact I have boobs) and I wanted underwear that actually feels good and not like Im wearing something my grandma would wear. My dad got SUPER mad at me for this and yelled at me and screamed that he wouldnt have a "stupid slut living under his roof" and threw my friends bath bombs against the wall where they broke. He also grabbed my laptop and threw it against the wall where the screen shattered and I dont think it could be replaceable. Now my dad has locked himself in his room and is ignoring me.I really dont know wtf to do in this situation. This isnt the first time my dad has gotten angry over things I've bought with my own money and has broken my things before. Ive tried talking to my school's guidance counselor over this but she's dismissed me before saying she "couldn't believe such a nice man would do something like that" - I guess it doesnt hurt to mention I live in the south and my dad is a very devout Baptist Christian. I dont go to church (haven't since I was 14) and I think my dad gets angry/upset over that.I really dont know how to approach him on this. I just feel like he doesn't care about my property / my things and he continues to treat me like a child even though I turn 18 next July. I'm 17 and Im the only one out of my friends group who doesn't have a license because he refuses to let me take driver's ed. He expects me to go to the college of his choice but tells me it will be my responsibility to pay for the tution. He wants me to become a lawyer, when I want to be a pediatric nurse. When Ive told him this, he told me "that's an easy job. Anyone with half a brain can be a nurse. Lawyers are smart and you're GOING to be a lawyer if I have any say in it"Please help me reddit. My dad makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. What do I do?tl;dr: My dad is a huge control freak and I don't know what to do about it anymore. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bRCVwj

Fought our 6 year old for a year to our absolute wits end over bedtime. Now we made a deal that works, but I'm afraid it's a selfish one.

We made a deal with her. You are in your room after 8:30. The rest of the night is mom and dad time. Stay in there and you can play with your toys or read/look at books as late as you want.She just wasn't sleeping. She stopped napping at 2 years old and since then has only napped if she's sick. So once night comes around she is overtired as fuck. She turns into a nightmare. Running out of her room, offering up toys for fun when we threaten to take them away, picking her up without a word and putting her back in just became a game to her.So we figured, if we are going to fight with her from 8 to 10 or 11 every night, why not just let her stay awake those hours in her room. She's up just as late, but she's calm, no one is stressed, no one is yelling or crying.For a couple weeks it's worked, but she just passes out wherever she is. On her floor, at the end of her bed uncovered, hanging off the bed. It doesn't look comfortable or restful, but she falls asleep on her own by 9:30 or 10, sometimes earlier.I'm just worried that we may be setting a bad habit. I mean, I truly feel like she's going to be a night owl anyway. But she definitely doesn't get 10 hours of sleep before school, and she's not the kind of kid to fall asleep earlier the next day because of less sleep the previous night.Are we doing an OK trade off? She is getting more sleep than she was, and she's calm leading up to it. If she isn't going to get as much sleep as she may need, at least it can be a more peaceful rest right? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bwospC

We could use some help with our momma's boy of a toddler.

Our son, who is 3.5, has always been sort of clingy with his mom, but it's gotten even worse lately. She's a gymnastics instructor, and so has a mix of morning and evening shifts and some weekend afternoons. When she works evenings he's at home along with myself and our daughter, who is seven.When Mom isn't around, he's a great little guy: lots of fun, very kind, gets along well (most of the time) with his sister, who was not anywhere near this clingy when she was younger. The kids have been for week-long trips with my parents or my wife's with no problems.Whenever my wife is around, though, he has a very hard time being out of her arms. Whenever he wakes up at night, he's asking for Mom right away, and if I try to help out, it's usually at least a half hour battle before I can get him to stop crying for Mom and settle down. If he wakes up again an hour later it's the same thing.I'm sure my wife's schedule has exacerbated the problem; there were a few months this spring where the kids literally didn't see her for two days a week, due to how early/late she started. However, her schedule has been much less demanding for a few months now, and his behaviour has not changed at all.Has anyone ran into this kind of selective clinginess before? We're not sure the best way to address it. If anyone has ideas I'd be grateful. Feel free to ask for more details.Thanks via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bzrOp7

Oh Crap! Potty Training - anyone else start early?

Kiddo is 19mo. I decided she is capable of learning because when she soiled a diaper, she'd get a clean one and try to put it on herself (over the dirty one). Then she'd be really upset that someone changed her. She also had been waking up from overnight dry. She also can communicate hunger, thirst, etc.We started Oh Crap! Potty Training method on Friday and here on Day 4 we are still in Block One. When she has to poop, she runs frantically around trying to find a private spot (under a table, etc.) until the poop just falls out of her. She's peeing on the floor in sprinkles, but we had two good solid pees in the potty yesterday and two today so far.I am suspecting my kid might be extra sensitive to correction. When we say firmly, "pee doesn't go on the floor. Pee goes in the potty" she loses it crying, sometimes throwing herself on the floor.tl;dr questions:How can we slow her down during pooping freak out time?The book method specifies no rewards, but I'm struggling to see the difference in a reward vs. a special item kid gets when on the potty. We also are cycling through our "special items" so fucking fast my head is spinning.If anyone can offer any insight, I'd love it. I assume we're supposed to be going bananas and bouncing off the walls at this point, but still hoping for encouragement. Thank you! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bVdDP7

"Me and [sister] need $25 each by tomorrow and planners or we get Fs in 2 classes". Happy back to school, parents!!

That's the first text I get from my daughter on her first day of school. Cracks me up. High School is such a pain. They will come home tonight with a giant list of school supplies that despite how hard I tried to stock up on everything over the summer, will be woefully inadequate.How's everyone else's back to school going? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bDFX6b

6yo daughter referred to RTI program at school. Need help understanding and next steps!

We received a letter from our daughter's school that she has been identified as a candidate for the RTI (can't remember what that stands for) program. There's not a lot of explanation in the letter - no criteria, indicators, test results, etc. that explain why or how they came to this decision. I started googling more about the program and it says it is for kids who have learning or behavioral needs. My daughter is very smart, but I can see that it is sometimes harder for her to focus when someone is directing her to do something. She is not hyperactive and has no problem staying on task or focused on one thing for extended periods of time when it is something she has decided to do herself.I have called and emailed the person whose signature is at the bottom of the letter but have not received a response. We need to know more about what's going on, why they have decided this, what issues are present, and what the plan is so that we can help at home. Of course the lady's mailbox is full. We recently moved from a school that was not well-ranked (3/10) to one of the best elementary schools in the state (10/10). Is it possible the preschool and kindergarten background my daughter received just isn't up to par with the new school and she needs help catching up or does this mean there is something more going on. Should we have her seen by a doctor or specialist?Any help or experience you have to share would be greatly appreciated! If I don't hear from the person on the letter today, I will send a note back to her teacher tomorrow. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bMvhFE

What are your red flags for dating as a single parent, new to dating am I just being paranoid?

I recently started being open to the idea of dating again, I began talking to someone but am struggling with what red flags are and what is me being paranoid. When I was a young parent I put my oldest child and myself in a not so great situation with a partner (the one I divorced). I'm very nervous to put my kids in a bad situation again but almost feel like I am being hyper sensitive.I suffer from anxiety and ptsd so it can be hard for me to determine sometimes if I'm over thinking or just being smart. With my children I would rather aire on the side of caution, but in the same respect I don't want to give up something great for nothing because I'm second guessing something innocent.Ex: went on a few dates with new guy. I am not able to get out much or often as kids dad doesn't really see them. New guy tells me he doesn't mind if I bring kids along he is good with kids, likes them, Yada Yada... my brain hears "what normal guy is like that? Why does he want to meet them so soon? Maybe he is a pedo".....I decided that in that event that I was over reacting, eventually took them to park and had him meet us there. We walked and played with them. He was very good to them. Towards the end we were taking about how I'd like to take them out like this more but with my schedule it can be hard to do it as much as is like. He is off work earlier than I am so he followed up with, "well I'd they get more used to me, I can take them out like this all the time. I go for walks and to the park daily" (which he does, we've talked wow a bit about this and had a few park dates).Again though my "what's this guy's problem" meter went off in my head. Am I over thinking, or is this a red flag? I decided to watch and wait with him. Contact with kids only while I am there obviously and just keep my eyes and ears open to any major game stoppers.So please feel free to weigh in on this, I won't take offense and also what are your dating red flags? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2byhxtw

5 months in and I don't think I'm cut out for this - Rant/rambling

My daughter just turned 5 months recently. The first few months were great, although I felt myself slipping away a little at a time. I kept thinking I'll just catch up later at some point. Recently I have felt like I no longer exist as my own person, and I'm not even sure what to do about it.I wake up every morning and go to a job I hate. I spend hours there doing as little work as possible just to not get fired, but I think my boss is starting to catch on, and now I'm worried about my job. I recently got prescribed Ritalin because my doctor was concerned about my description of how I act at work and had me take a pre-screening test for ADD/ADHD. I am apparently at a pretty high risk of having it, so I'm going to be getting a more thorough test soon. The medication is helping a bit, but I still hate the job and have no desire to work.I leave work in the evening to head home, and once I get there our caretaker leaves. I have my daughter to myself for anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour, depending on when my wife gets home. During that time I have no opportunity to rest since that tends to be when she is fully awake and wants me to sing to her, or play with her. I do enjoy this time with her, but it's a bit exhausting right after I get home.Once my wife gets home, I'm getting dinner ready for us while she feeds the baby. We don't do anything complicated these days, but it still takes some time even if I'm just making spaghetti and meatballs. My wife's hands and wrists are killing her due to tendonitis and carpal tunnel that stems from breastfeeding. So once dinner is ready and we sit down, I generally hold the baby while we eat, since she doesn't like it when we put her in her highchair. We'll finish dinner and my wife will clear the dishes and clean up while I handle our LO.After dinner is cleared and away, the two of us will play with LO for a while, usually for another hour or two. We generally only stop the playtime when she needs to eat again. While wife feeds her, she constantly needs to ask me for things which I feel the need to obligate the requests because hey, she's feeding our child and making sure she survives. The least I can do is get her a drink, a snack, the remote, her phone, etc.At this point, it's about 10pm and we're starting to get LO ready for bed. How that goes depends on the night, so it can take anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours, but either way, once she is down, we're both exhausted and crawl into bed.Weekends are generally packed with things that need to get done around the house and taking care of the LO, or trying to do something fun as a family. This weekend was awful, mostly because my wife recognized that I was about to lose it. She decided to try and let me relax, but I don't really know how to anymore. Even when we would all sit down to just read/watch tv/whatever and she would take our daughter, it was still the issue of a constant request for items or help with something.So anyway, amidst all of my complaints and ranting, I guess my generally point is that I don't feel like a person anymore. I'm a husband/father/employee who doesn't have the opportunity or ability to relax and be himself anymore. Does anyone else have this issue? Does it get better? Any advice?Oh, there's also a ton of emotional issues going on because of some shit happening with my parents that just makes everything worse. It has caused my wife and I to really have trouble even talking anymore because I just don't know how to deal with any of that either.Tl;dr - I'm lost. Part of me just wants out of the whole husband/father thing, but more than that, I need help relaxing. Please help. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bwotLY

5 Month is really gassy only at night? Won't sleep!

Hi all! My 5 month is having a lot of distress only at night with gas. He's fine the whole day... then when my wife will feed him on the breast and put him to sleep and then he'll wake up like 10 minutes later, arching his back and farting up a storm. We try to massage and move his legs before bed but this doesnt really change anything. Literally nothing will get him back to sleep but feeding again, and then the process repeats. He won't calm down if we rock him or walk him around, or sing, etc. What usually happens is we'll do try all that stuff for like an hour and a half and then give in and feed him.We know he has issues when my wife consumes dairy at all, and she has cut that completely out of her diet. She also stays away from 'strong' foods like garlic, asparagus, turnip, etc.The odd thing is he's fine the entire rest of the day. Even at his nap, when she feeds him the exact same way he'll go down and sleep for a solid 2 hours and not wake up. There's nothing we can think of that is different from the night time that would be different to give him so many problems...We're kind of at loss and no one is sleeping! Any tips? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bws7k7

Almost 2-year old hyping self up at bedtime?

My son will be 21 months old next week. Around 18 months, we started working with him falling asleep on his own. He was rocked and nursed until 15 months, and then he was primarily rocked to sleep after that. We could never do the drowsy but awake thing because if he was even remotely awake, he would cry as soon as we set him down in his crib. At 18 months, he actually would go down in his crib awake, and eventually fall asleep on his own (progress!), with either his dad or I sitting across the room. It started off taking almost an hour or more, then we got it down to a "science" of about 20-30 minutes.However, the past couple of weeks, he has been fighting it like crazy. It's been taking an hour or more, sometimes closer to two, for him to fall asleep. Our bedtime routine has remained the same. He is getting his two year molars, so that may be part of the issue. But he is so, so tired, but does things to hype himself up and then he's wide awake.For example, last night, he's super sleepy. We do our bedtime routine (bath, pjs, books). He's practically falling over, so I tell him, "this is our last book". We read the book, and he instantly walks over to his crib and tries to climb in. I put him in his crib, he lays down and pulls his blanket over him. All is going well, right? Then the babbling starts. Then the screaming. Not an upset screaming, more of a, let's see how loud I can be! Then he gets up, and he'll do a baby cage match where he runs and bounces from one crib rail to the other. How does he start off so sleepy, then all of a sudden, hypes himself up wide awake?I will also point out that he is a little behind on speech. We have had him evaluated, and they recommended speech therapy (we are just waiting for them to contact us and set up the sessions). It seems like he makes strides every day in his speech, so maybe he's just on the verge of something, and it's disrupting his sleep?I know it's sometimes hard to pinpoint an exact cause for sleep issues, I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. Once he goes down, he's usually down all night long, it's just starting to wear on us that it sometimes takes two hours for him to go down.TIA! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bM4ntj

Weekly - Stories from the week/end - August 29, 2016

This weekly thread is meant as a place to share stories that happened to us as parents over the weekend. Share good, bad, fun, not fun, etc. Also, if you ever wonder who we are, click here to meet the mod team! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2cm1pAN

Thanks for creeping me out like whoa, 3y.o. son of mine.

Driving home last night from a visit with the grandparents this weekend. Just me and my son who just turned 3 a few months ago. He quietly begins counting down from the back seat, "8, 7, 6, 5..." And trails off. A solid minute-long beat of silence, and then:Kiddo: "Mom: You will die."Me, shocked: "I'm sorry, what did you say?!"Kiddo, matter-of-fact: "Mom you will die. Dad will die, too."Me, now very wigged out in our very dark car in the middle of nowhere: "What are you talking about?"Kiddo, with a deadly seriousness no 3 year old should have: "...When the numbers run out, you will die."Thoroughly creeped out and he changes the subject. Fucking creepy, kiddo! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bwkzxE

Snapchat reprieve?

A few years ago my daughter asked if she could download Snapchat and we said no because at the time she was too young and it had a reputation of being used to swap nudes etc. She ignored us and downloaded it anyway and we caught her. Long story short, she did this 3 times and we caught her each time until we had a massive fight and then she stopped. Fast forward to today - she's 15 years old and SnapChat is more of a social media thing- she's asked us if she can download it.So here's my dilema: I don't mind her having SnapChat in itself but I read this post and it's made me think I should say no SnapChat EVER because she intentionally ignored us 3 times and downloaded it anyway. On the other hand I don't want to be an a-hole about this and maybe we should let her have it.What do you think guys? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2c35Xrz

What are some traditions you've implemented into your family? I want to give my newly adopted kid some awesome memories!

My mom wasn't in the picture much and my dad was too busy trying to provide for me and my sister. We didn't really have many traditions at home, except maybe making pancakes every other Sunday (hence the name).My husband and I have been working towards adopting and that moment is just around the corner! The kid is absolutely adorable, 4-year-old with a smile for days and the laugh of an angel. I want to give her the most awesome memories and I was wondering what traditions we could bring in to make it all more fun. I have some ideas, but I was still wondering what all you moms and dads could recommend.Thank you all! I'm so excited. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2clrIHx

My autistic 5yr old horrific new habit

I need advice. My son is just turned 5 years old and begun attending primary school. He's majority nonverbal and uses body language to communicate. This is has been a challenging time for everyone involved, especially with his "quirks". At first when something happened that he disliked, a sudden loud noise or someone in his personal space, he would scratch them. After a few weeks at school someone got through to him that he can't lash out at others in frustration. So in response he started clawing his face. This was a horrible and difficult habit to put a stop to, especially at school. After a week or so, I thought he had given up this phase and his face began to heal. Until yesterday. He has taken to his eyes. This is absolutely horrific to say the least. I can't get to him fast enough to grab his hands and I imagine it's traumatic for his classmates. What on earth can I do?!? We have made contact with his specialist, pediatrician, occupational therapist but no one has any suggestions. I need help before he seriously hurts himself via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2c2LseR