Hi all.My twenty year old daughter, Emily, is very spoiled and self centred. We were very young when we had her, and often when she was little it was easier for us to let her off things because of how upset she would get. Unfortunately this become a bit of a habit into her teenage years, and somehow her tears were enough to convince us to let go of things like being involved in bullying and bringing alcohol and drugs into school, even though we were angry with her.In hindsight, we were stupid. We love her immensely, and she was such a pretty and clever child. She was a high achiever throughout school, and has grown into a beautiful young lady just like her mother. But the fact remains that us not putting our foot down when she was little let her think she could do and say anything. She throws tantrums constantly and if we get angry at her she just cries and acts like we're being cruel.Not long ago, she made a deeply cruel comment to her 13 year old cousin about her appearance, and only then did we see that it was time to take action. We took her phone and tablet and stripped her of privileges (I.E, no spending money unless she gets a job, which means no more of the expensive clothes she likes, etc) hoping that she would learn a lesson.However, she took things even further when me and her mother went out one night for a date, and came back in the early morning to find the house littered with empty booze bottles and smelling of marijuana, as well as quite a few young people passed out in our living room.Once we got the unwelcome guests out, we then tried to make Emily clean up. She refused and threw another tantrum, swearing at us and telling us to ''f#cking do it ourselves''. I was furious and blurted out that enough was enough and I wanted her to leave, and was surprised when my wife agreed. Emily then started to cry and acted frightened and saying she didn't know where to go. I said she has lots of friends and she can figure something out. She pleaded and begged us to change our minds but we were so angry with her that we wouldn't.She's been staying with a school friend, Chloe, for the past few days, but texts her mother every day asking if it's ok if she comes by. She's been saying no, but I'm not sure. At the end of the days she's still our kid. I don't know how long her friend's parents will want her to be around for. Not only that, but in September she'll be starting her second year at university, where she's studying medicine. All of her uni things are back at the house, and she'll have to come back to get them before she heads off, and I really don't want to affect her studies/future by not letting her do that. Also, we're still paying for some of her student debt as well as all her resources and such, and we're not sure whether to stop doing that.The thing we're concerned about is whether if we let her come back and keep things as they are, her bad behaviour will continue. It's our fault, but she's a grown woman now so there isn't much we can do. She's completely dependent on us. Do we let her come back even though she may not have learned her lesson, or do we let her fend for herself?Advice? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2LDMt20
