I need some advice, Assumed a parenting role through unfortunate events.

Hey all, I just need some advice or guidance on what I should do. To make a long story short, after a nasty divorce and a lot of unfortunate circumstances, I have basically assumed a fathership role over my girlfriends little brother. She's 26, he was a late decision and is only 12, currently in 6th grade.After a nasty divorce, they (girlfriends mother and brother) got to keep the house whilst the father got to keep his 401k, stock options, bank accounts, etc.I have been helping fix the house in his absence and have become close to the mother and brother, and I really want to see him succeed. She's a foreign immigrant here as a legal citizen working full time at McDonald's for little more than pennies as the only source of income.I have been helping fix the house up and have grown a lot closer to the family because of it, and I want to marry my girlfriend, so the family tie is strong, as I don't have any other than my parents and sisters.The mother asked me to help make him a man, and to help with raising him, which I sort of have been helping with but haven't really seen it as serious as I think it is.I don't know where to start. I don't have any kids and don't know how to build the bonds a parent would with a child. I let him help me build a shed, do oil changes, work on plumbing, give advice about relationships (at least to the capacity a 6th grader), and try to smooth tensions between the removed father and family, but it's really hard and I don't know what to do.I'm a college student so I have a lot on my plate, plus I will be moving to a city 80 miles away in 6 months. I don't want to sit by and watch this kid fall victim to bullying or weakness or lack of guidance because I didn't know how to help him. He's not the strongest kid and he's become very feminine being only around his sister and mother.I really want to help him become a man, but without "being there" like his father could be (and should be) raising him, seeing him morning and night, showing him how adults can argue without violence, etc, I feel like I can't (or don't know) how I can help this kid to the best of my abilities.If anyone has been in a similar situation, has advice on long distance parenting, has been a child of divorce, or anyone who thinks they could chime in, I'd absolutely love to hear some ideas of how we could bond, and how I could help him become the man he deserves to be.This is my first Reddit post, so please be understanding.I really need some constructive input here, his life is on the line. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/296FyXi

Long car ride tomorrow and want to download some educational apps on our tablet. My daughter is 2 going on 16 so I am open to any and all ideas she might like. Thanks!

No text found via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29fRoSA

My daughter bought me a wallet in Italy. I wasn't in the market for a new wallet. I now have a new wallet.

So my daughter went to Italy with her high school chorus. Ten days there, trip of a lifetime. She came back all excited, and brought gifts for the whole family. She saved mine for last -- it was an Italian leather wallet that -- OMG! -- the guy selling would engrave with my initials FOR FREE!!! I am very much a creature of habit, and have had my wallet for umpteen years, because it's perfectly fine and worn in all the right places. Except now it's retired. She was so excited about the wallet I said to myself, "You know what, maybe I can get used to a new wallet." When I went to the store tonight, I had a hard time pulling my bank card out of my new wallet, as it's all stiff and unworn. I got home, and my daughter asked me how the wallet worked. "It's amazing," I said. I'm gonna break this bad boy in. This is my dadgum new wallet... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29f0GQ0

Bulimic Baby

Ok. It was cute (and totally wrong) to call my constant thrower upper my Bulimic Baby. She spit up alot, but it was not just spit up. My girl threw up fully. She choked and threw up - a lot as a baby. I am talking throwing up breast milk. I've talk to the doctor. We've tried medicine. But it seemed more situational - she chokes or gets upset and throws up. We've tried the Barium Swallow test, and there is nothing physically wrong with her.Now the gal is 2.5 years old. We carry barf bags constantly. Sometimes it is in the car (car sick?), sometimes it is in a restaurant (choking?), and sometimes (like this evening) is was in the bathtub because she was upset I brushed her teeth and was having her shower.A friend mentioned how anxious I was regarding her barfing. (I get it, I am her Mom of course I am anxious.) Another friend (same day, same incident - we were all out at a restaurant), mentioned anxiety.So, could SHE (my 2.5 year old) have anxiety? Could she be wanting to control the situation? (It seems now like she is trying to throw up at times....) Could my baby actually be bulimic? Bulimia IS serious. What if my daughter has it? Or can potentially developed it? She is two and a half! I know she does not have body image issue - she's two! Can she have a control issues and be using throwing up as a control?I am going to contact her pediatrician. Does anyone have experience with this? Any advice?!?Thanks in advance.Edit: I understand that the terms bulimia and anorexia are not correct terms. I just didn't know how else to describe it. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/296KBvp

How do I discipline my niece who has never been disciplined?

My 5 yr old niece recently came into my care after being removed from her mother by cps. She has never been disciplined by her mother. She has never had a time out. The main thing I want to work on with her is her whinning. She will whine when she doesn't get her way and and sometimes throws tantrums. How can I effectively discipline a child who has no concept of discipline? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/296mQip

Serious Post! Recent family loss and new pregnancy

A sib of mine and their spouse just had a a still birth within the past month. We are a very close family. I have just found out my spouse and I are expecting. With our last we told our parents and our five sibs the day/weekend we found out we were pregnant. I'm having such a hard time feeling so conflicted, feeling the loss and feeling happy all at the same time. Few questions. When should we be telling our immediate family. I wouldn't want to exclude sib and their spouse and them find out, but I don't want them feeling like we are rubbing it in. Also this weekend is the holiday weekend and we will all be together as a family. So they will so know by me not drinking, or if I'm having nausea. And I suck at lying. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29feB7o

My son wants to be rich and refuses to go to college.

My son is 21 and plans to be an actor or singer or something that will make him rich and famous. He has been saying this for years and years. But now that he is older he gave up college and I think he is dead set becoming rich. He never had any other ambition apart from making millions. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29ek8wb

A toddler with new cultures

I took my 3 year old to the public library today. She was playing when a woman in a burqa came out of the restroom with her two children. My daughter stopped, pointed at her, and proceeded to yell "Darth Vader! Darth Vader! Mommy, look, it's Darth Vader!" This was the first time she did anything publicly embarrassing. Usually she hates speaking around people she doesn't know. At least the woman thought it was funny... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29a2feV

awkward kid moment

Hubby and I (especially me) really enjoyed our grown up cuddles last night...so much so Mr 7 asked me this morning why I was making an oh oh oh noise last night....He is 7 I tried to tell him it was TV but I think he is onto us... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29c75Ki

My son has been making outside time exhausting.

We moved in a new house. We don't have a fence yet, but saving up for one. I take my son to play outside 2 hours a day. He keeps running out of the yard. He has plenty of activities like a trike, trucks, shovel and bucket and plenty of dirt. We live near a creek with no water, just huge rocks and dirt. He loves playing with rocks, I went and gathered some while he was inside with dad to see if he would stop running toward the creek. He still did. One day he almost got ran over. The car had to slam its breaks. I have been having dreams that he decides to run down the road. I've been taking him in kicking and screaming after I gave a warning and even the first time he did it, he still did it several times. By this time I'm breathing heavy, crying, extremely hot. One day he did it a total of 3 times, he got pretty far real quick when I turned my back for one second to get my drink off the concrete walk way. I'm almost at the point where I give up taking him outside. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/297Y2to

Do you love your kids equally?

Before I had kids, I had no idea how much you could possibly love your kids. I have a 2 year old daughter and I learned very quickly about the amazing and unconditional love you have for your child and the love that they return to you.I am due with my second daughter in just over two months. I've been thinking for a while about this. Do most parents love their children equally? I wonder how I could love another child as much as I love my daughter.What do you think? Without any judgment, do you love your kids equally? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/299vH4n

I think I'm good with just having my son. Any advice for raising an only child?

I have a 9 month old boy who's wonderful. He wasn't planned, but things couldn't have gone better with him if he had been. The military was doing a trial maternity leave program of 18 weeks, and my maternity leave lined up with my terminal leave, so all together I got to spend 6 whole months at home with him before returning back to work.Now that I'm on the civilian side and my best case scenario is 12 unpaid weeks I could never afford to take, I just feel no desire to have another child. I don't want to have kids that are too spaced out in age either, and our financial prospects aren't going to drastically improve in the next few years.I have four brothers, so I never planned on just having one child, but in truth it sounds more and more appealing. We'd be able to focus our finances and time on just him - he could play sports and an instrument without too much strain, childcare wouldn't destroy us, and he wouldn't have to join the military to pay for college like my husband and I did.It feels shallow to change my life plans because of money, but the more I think about it, the more I think it's a better idea for our family. Does anyone want to share their experience with only children, or have any advice? :) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/296vjTF

Very new(ish) to reddit but had to share one of the best parenting quotes I've read yet about the journey. As a Mom of older kids (one 16, one 12)... this really spoke to me.

Parenting is to know all the previous versions of someone, to hold them inside your mind as they grow, as they unfold. It’s slowly learning to let go on the outside as their lives begin to take shape, separate from your own, while on the inside, in your strong, tender parent-heart, you never let go at all.(Author of the quote is Lynn Shattuck on elephant journal.) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29bop1H

When your kids school wants your support in discipline but you believe it is unfair.

Have any other redditors been in the position of their child’s school wanting your support in enforcing something but you not being willing to do it?Just to put this out there: My daughter is currently at a Christian school. It is *not** my choice for my daughter to attend this school. She is an atheist and doesn’t want to be there either. However, I am divorced from her father (largely driven by him rediscovering religion a few years ago). He is paying for the school himself (he is from money) and convinced a judge that it is in her best benefit because the school has a slightly better academic record than the (still perfectly fine) public schools in my area. We could not get the order she go to this school overturned. So it’s sadly not as simple as ‘go to a new school if you don’t like it’ in my case.*My youngest daughter is 16 (her siblings 18+ so not subject to parenting plans anymore). Poor thing has inherited my awful teenage skin as well as my very bushy eyebrows. If she takes after her older sisters, she’ll outgrow it by about 20, but the brows are here to stay.I took her to start getting them waxed when she was 13 after she expressed disliking them. She is very self conscious about her acne and has gotten very into makeup as a way of covering it up initially, but now she’s into it as a hobby. I’m supportive of this even if her father isn’t because I think 16 is old enough to decide she wants to wear makeup. And besides, is she prefers to spend her money from her job on makeup and spend her time watching makeup tutorials instead of partying and getting drunk, suits me just fine.She wears her colourful lipstick and sparkly eye shadows on the weekend, but for school as just wearing foundation and powder and very light eyebrow shaping.The school is demanding she not wear it anymore despite the fact she has been bullied pretty badly in the past for her skin before she learned how to cover it up. They also have said she is not to have her eyebrows done anymore and want me to ‘support them’ in this.I’m struggling with this one because I personally think the rule is a bit ridiculous. I have no issue with them saying eyeliner/lipstick/teal eyeshadow is a no go for school, but I don’t see the problem with allowing a teenage girl with skin issues to use foundation to cover it because it makes her feel better about herself. And I have to say that I find telling her she can’t have her eyebrows waxed or threaded anymore is extremely…..controlling? As an adult, there is no way I would allow an employer to tell me I can’t wear light makeup or pluck my eyebrows, so it feels silly to impose this on a kid who is going to be bullied pretty heavily when she takes it off.Oh she keeps getting detention for no wearing her hat....she has had 3 hates stolen in 4 months and I have told the school I refuse to buy another until they abandon their policy of forcing students to leave them on top of their bags so they don't get squished and retrieve them to wear to sit outside for lunch/going to and from school. I do not force her to go to these detentions and come and pick her up.The other issue, perhaps bigger, is I have been asked to support them in disciplining my daughter for writing an essay on a ‘moral issue’ where she wrote that she supports more relaxed abortion laws and she backed it up with a ton of evidence and put forward a very well written and reasonable argument. She also got into trouble for refusing to take a pamphlet on why same sex marriage should not be made legal and they said I need to support my daughter in her ‘faith’.I get that the school might be Catholic, but I am not going to support any disciplinary measures for my child supporting the legalisation of same sex marriage and better abortion access and giving a well researched and backed up rationale for that. I think they should be glad that a 16 year old has thought about her opinions and displays critical thinking skills…..and there is the problem that she doesn’t even have a faith to support.I feel like my hands are tied her. Her father (who lives most of the year in the UAE) is making her go to this school when she doesn’t have ‘faith’ that needs to be supported and I have no problem with her having liberal views or wanting to protect herself from bullying over her skin.Redditors, how do you handle it when you can’t bring yourself to support unfair school rules? I'm stuck on a fine line of not wanting to impose this shit on my kid and having her kicked out and my ex claiming we did it to ~piss him off~. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29e1bZu

can my newborn sleep in a rock n play as oppose to a bassinet?

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At what age did your kids sit still for a story?

I was reading the post on the front page about how fewer parents are reading aloud to their kids, and I thought about how mine will sometimes bring a book for me to read, sit on my lap as I open the book, than proceed to completely disregard that I am reading him a story so he can play with the book or go do something else.He will be two in two months, so he's still really young, but he's started using sentences and speaking to us so I want to nurture his little brain as much as possible. Any tips? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/296fZ9A

Has anyone created a very book-loving environment – tons of books around to read, reading aloud to their kids at night – and had a child who still turned out NOT to like reading?

I'm a book nerd, but also kind of a jock. Baby daddy is also a jock and while he reads a lot online and is very well educated, well spoken etc., he does not read books for fun. Of course I'll love and accept my kid whoever he turns out to be, but I have to admit I'd be a little disappointed if he turned out not to be a reader. How much is nature and how much is nurture? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2932GVW

I Created a Human and Set Her Loose Upon the World

Hey fellow parents. I know there's many here who can relate to my sentiment here, but forgive me if this isn't the place for this. I'm a mess of emotions right now and I wanted a place to vent them where others would understand where I'm coming from. This subreddit looks like that place.This morning, I dropped my daughter off at the airport to go start her adult life on the other side of the country. As a single dad, that was both the hardest, yet most important thing I've ever had to do. It both fills me with pride, and it terrifies me.She's a smart kid, much smarter than I was when I was eighteen. She's got strong passions that he works hard for, and while sometimes she's too hard on herself, I've seen with my own eyes what she can do when she's determined.It occurred to me this morning after dropping her off that I had fulfilled my biological imperative. I did my part to create a human, and I set her loose upon the world. I can only hope I've prepared her for what's to come.Anyway.I just want to say to all other parents running this solo: Be patient, guide them, but let them figure out who they are. They'll surprise you in the best of ways sometimes. And they're among some of the strongest memories you'll have when they're out on their own.Even through the tough times, keep positive. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29aTsLl

Weekly - Things my kid said - to share all the things your kids say. - June 30, 2016

This is a weekly thread where you can share the things you're kid said to you that made you laugh/cry/go on a mad rampage.If you'd like to talk daily about things your kids say, feel free to visit /r/thingsmykidsaid via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/295ZBG8

My kid is a brat...shit.

I have one child. She's 22 months old and I fear my husband and I have fallen into the trap of what's easy vs. what's best. I am a teacher so it's just she and I for the summer (during the school year, my SIL watches her, along with my nephew who is 18 months). I first realized she was a brat and got her way all the time when I signed her up for a weekly 'ONE IS FUN' class through our parks and rec. department. Free play coupled with clean-up and circle time, songs etc. She is easily the most out of control in the class and throws a F-I-T during any re-direction. This led me to take an inventory of when we just 'let it go' and 'choose our battles' or 'let her explore' and as it turns out, it's quite often. The list includes, but is not limited to:Bibs--she hates them and throws a huge fit when we try to put them on her. The solution? No more bibs.Phones--I stopped trying to keep my phone away from her. She throws an enormous fit if I'm on it and don't give it to her so, guess what? I either put it away or just let her have it.T.V-- I don't watch T.V or the news during the day like I want. if the T.V is on, she breaks down and I either turn if off or put on the educational shows she's grown to love.Nothing for me--I am her entertainment committee. If I try to read a book, talk on the phone or do something on the computer, she suddenly NEEDS me--even if she's playing just fine on her own, she NEEDS me all of a sudden. Do I give in? Hell yes I do, her tantrums are nuts.Even as I write out this list it's clear to me that what I need to do. The logical part of my brain says, "duh, let her throw a fit, she'll figure it out and life moves on" the Parental part of me says "She's my baby and I hate seeing her upset, is it really that big of a deal? She'll grown out of it?I'm pregnant so she'll have to grow out of this eventually (very early, not due until March).What say you /r/parenting? Am I overreacting or do I need to start laying down the law? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/295UV38

What does your kid want to be when he / she grows up?

I am father of my 3-years old son, and it is interesting to see which professions he is interested.As far as I see (inspired by the article of fatherly), children are interested in professions that they meet the most in their lives. At the beginning they wanted to be parent, doctor. After that they start to play with animals, so they want to be veterinarian. They already see some films and hear some stories, so they want to be fireman, policeman, some hero. And if they go to school, they want to be athlete, teacher). But what is your experience?? Do you see similar dreams of your child? Do you want to somehow influence it? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/292B9Ek

At the end of my wits

My only child, my beautiful nearly 6 year old daughter is an independent and stubborn very clever individual. Every morning since she has started school (so very nearly a year) it has been an absolute battle to get her to get dressed. I've tried absolutely everything, after some discussions with her teacher and an upcoming doctors appointment following a phone consultation, it seems like she may be on the lower end of the ADD spectrum. I guess I would just like to hear from someone else, have you been in a similar situation and did it get better? I work full time I don't get a lot of time during the week with her and it breaks my heart that I spend that time in conflict with her. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29sPAmS

Need a gift idea for a very hard working single mom of 4 boys

She loves to bake, is always texting on her iphone for work, and that's about all I've got. Any help on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/296I81i

Those who coslept... How did you transition to their own room?

My son is 17 months and has started the WORST sleep regression of either of our lives. A friend said he may need to get in his own room but how do I even do that? He's stopped responding to our bedtime routine or books/stories/songs like will actively not participate. He has a never-used "Montessori" bed not a crib. Should I get a crib? Wtf do I do before I go postal? Oh yea and we nurse to sleep so that'll need to be broken too. I'll try anything short of extreme cry it out. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/295pqpI

Teaching kids about "tricky people" vs. stranger danger

Instead of teaching kids to never talk to strangers, teach them about a "tricky person." A tricky adult asks a child for help; a safe adult would not ask a child for help. A tricky person asks a child to keep secrets from their parents, etc. Seems more practical and gets the child thinking about the situation rather than an anonymous "stranger danger." Saw it in an article and thought I would share. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2965zJ9

12 weeks along, how should we start preparing?

This is our first. I (mom) work full time in IT, dad is a medical student about to start two years of rotations (i.e. try out all the specialties, it's a pretty cool part of medical school). I happen to work for a great company where I get 12 weeks fully paid maternity leave and an additional 4 weeks before the due date through FMLA.We live in a way too small apartment and have an application in to move to family housing on campus. We think we will be able to move to a much more appropriately sized 2 bedroom apartment in the late 2nd trimester or early third.So far, family & friends have bequeathed to us a crib (meets current safety standards, score!), a stroller, and a glider chair. We've got a Pinterest board and an Amazon registry to collect the rest of the necessities.At this point, what do you wish you had known or started doing? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/296QLwr

I suspect my second kid is autistic as well.

I don't really know who else to talk about this.My son is 2.5 and is mildly autistic, he's non verbal and fairly easy to care for. He doesn't tantrum, he's usually in a good mood, he's happy, he's loving and sweet, very social.But he's still a big baby, if you know what I mean. At one point, toddlers become "little people" and we are anywhere near that. While my husband and I love our son and makes us happy, he also brings us sadness. His situation saddens us.Now, I accidentally got pregnant right after my son was born so my little girl came to this world before my son's first birthday. There's was a point in our lives were everything was perfect. We felt so blessed. My boy started regressing sometime after 13 months.My girl now is 17 months. She was very difficult eater, she was a late walker and she still non verbal. We can tell she's behind. She points randomly, but she doesn't point to "show" or "share" anything and this is one red flag. Her eye contact is not consistent and since she's on early intervention already so I'm told I should play lots of social games and try to teach her sign language. But she won't look at me, she looks at the object but not at my face. She doesn't seem to use eye contact to communicate.Today, I put the sippy cup out of her reach but she could still see it. She was thirsty so she kept on trying to grab it, I was there and calling her name, I wanted her to look at me or give any sign asking for help. But no. She just gave up, cried and went away. And I was right there.She's a busy baby. We have toys but she doesn't care for them. She goes around the house, picking things and carrying them around. She walks around the house as she's going somewhere but she's going nowhere, just walking.She babbles. She has a very particular babble she repeats. She is friendly and sociable I think. If she is, she could be another mild case. She's certainly different, more "advanced" but still. I feel like we're about to start all over again. I've got this feeling I can't shake off.I've been depressed lately, Im terrified and feel like a failure. I know I didn't cause this, but I just feel very unlucky. It feels unfair. It hurts. I haven't ever recovered from my sons diagnosis and I'm afraid I'm gonna start another one again. I don't know how I can move on. Happiness will come when I finally accept this, but I can't accept this. Nobody wants a kid with a disability, I certainly didn't.Now I might have two.The worst part part is that I'm pregnant again. Our birth control failed and we got pregnant, I'm 2 and a half months in. My daughter has been on Early Intervention since she was 1, for feeding problems. She was assessed then, and we were told she's fine, she's not autistic. She was on track after that, so the idea of a third child was a bit scary but if she was fine we could try again in a few years. Our son could have been just a one time thing, or a result from his difficult delivery, who knows.But now, my daughter seems to have stopped progressing and Im pregnant. I'll think about about it for a couple of weeks more and then I think I'm just gonna lose this baby. Please don't judge me. I feel horrible already. I absolutely can't have another autistic kid. I can't. I don't want to. Emotionally, I don't think I can carry the disappointment of a third child with a mental disability.I know it's not confirmed, that I'm just assuming. But once you have an autistic child you are able to spot others. I'm seeing a few things already and we're having a small assessment tomorrow afternoon.I need to make a decision soon.I just needed to get this off my chest.Thank you if you read it all.Yes, I'm seeing a psyquiatrist, my sister (25) committed suicide about 6 months ago so my heart is already broken over that as well. I don't know if it's helping though. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/299s7c6

Emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy screening tests

My wife and I have a 16-month-old daughter.Everything is great.We found out that my wife is pregnant.We weren't planning for it, but great!The thing is.... When my wife was pregnant the last time, our OB saw something or thought she saw something, and we were referred to a specialist who scared the crap out of me and my wife.There could be a chance that your baby has down syndrome they said. We don't really know for sure they said and it put the fear of God in me like nothing ever has.It also strained our relationship, because I didn't want to go through the pregnancy. (Yes, I'm a insert appropriate adjective)Wife is 7 weeks pregnant now. We only found last week.I'm not F***ing ready for that emotional rollercoaster again.Once that specialist said everything is fine, we went back to our OB. She was like, "did everything turn out OK?"We were like, "yeah, they did something called a 'harmony test'".Then she was like, I do that for my PPO patients. (We have HMO.)And under my breath, I was like you bitch!!!!Any advice on how to handle the next few months. It's freaking scary. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/295A7un

My son is saying he hates himself

so my son is only 4 years old and I've developed this new punishment as it were and getting him to stare at the wall and he absolutely hates it but it gets so bad that after 1 minute he starts hitting himself and saying he hates himself. I'm super worried about this I'm guessing he must of learnt this from somewhere else :(. His father and I are split and he lives with parents and our son has weekly contact with him. He has an uncle who is 9 that lives there and they always play and im just wondering if he's seen it from there.Anyway I'm just worried about this. Do you think it's phase that will just pass? Also my son tries to steal his younger brothers dummy and I often catch him with it and he throughs a tantrum when I take it off him. Today I let him have it for 15 minutes and I know it's bad for his teeth but he seemed to calm right down instead of just being his cheeky then going back to naughty self. I'm wondering if maybe he's been stressing out? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/296PZ13

Toddler and video games?

I was googling if it's bad if I play video games around my 2 year old son and couldn't find anything. Just wanting some opinions from people with experience, since he is my first child. I used to play around him at times and would stop if he wanted something, and now I don't ever because I was feeling guilty, like I wasn't paying enough attention to him? I don't play them all day long, but today I was really wanting to play destiny but still have that little bit of guilt. Lol being a mom is the struggle sometimes. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29dRbB8

Does anyone else know the Finger Family nursery rhyme? My 3 year old is obsessed.

My 3 year olds favorite thing at the moment is "Daddy finger Daddy finger where are you?...". He asks to watch the different Finger Family YouTube videos constantly. He sings it to himself in the car, while falling asleep, and the wife and I can't get it out of our heads!!I have never heard of this nursery rhyme before. Since it is constantly in my head I have asked friends, family, and coworkers if they have ever heard it before but no one has.Is anyone else's kid as captivated with "Daddy finger"?Does anyone know how the hell I can get it out of my head!?!? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/295M4zB

18 year old Daughter problems, Help!

This is a throwaway, but i need some advice/help. I have an 18 year old daughter who has decided that flying from the west coast to the east coast, to meet up with a 55 year old man is a great idea. The 55 year old apparently has some criminal history (not good) My other daughter (26) is trying hard to prevent this from happening, as am I. i believe my younger daughter is being used and manipulated. But, some of you know just how some 18 year olds can be. no crimes have been commited yet, that i am aware of. what are my options and resources to deal with this? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/295PwxR

I've criticized my best friend for crying to me that she couldn't handle her kids and wanted them to go live with their dad. I have started to feel that way too about my own child and I am so ashamed

I used to give my best friend grief because she'd call me crying about how she can't handle her kids and wanted them to go live with their bio dad. Before I was a parent, I was disgusted with her when she'd tell me that. I'd think "What kind of mother is she, to want to just let her kids go like that". But I have begun to feel something similar.My husband and I are still together and the relationship is good. But he works 12 hour shifts so I am alone with our 2 year old pretty much all the time.Taking her in public is a nightmare. Screaming, tantrums, every single time and I'm always alone so I have to do it by myself and I just flat out don't know how to handle the public tantrums. It's getting so bad that I thought recently that I could understand why my best friend said that. I'm getting to where my child is breaking me down so bad mentally that I just kind of wish she could stay with her grandparents for a year until she grows out of this.I hate myself for even thinking that. I don't know what to do. I'm married but pretty much a single parent since my childs father is either working or sleeping. Is it normal to feel this, will it go away? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2938EqE

Is There Any Way to Get My 6-month-old Baby To Sleep in His Crib without Letting Him Cry?

My son has never been a "good" sleeper and was very high-needs for the first few months of his life. He hated sleeping on his back from day 1, not even sleeping in the hospital bassinet. At home, the only way anyone slept was by co-sleeping or having him sleep on one of us in a recliner. At some point, we managed to get him to sleep in his swing. That was a big accomplishment. Later, I had success getting him to sleep in a bassinet while swaddled (he hated swaddling at first, but liked it when he was a bit older.) Then he reached a stage where he was breaking out of swaddles and outgrowing the bassinet, so the swing has become his primary bed because I didn't want to cosleep anymore. He sleeps quite easily in the swing, which is great, except that he is now almost 6 months and will outgrow it soon. He already squirms around like he wants to roll on his side but can't because we buckle him in. We really need to get him in the crib, I think.I feel like there is no way we will be able to do this without letting him cry. We have researched the Ferber method, but I refused to do it until at least 6 months since the research suggests that before that is too young. I know it will more than likely be a miracle solution for his sleep, and that it won't psychologically damage him, but it's just terrible to experience crying, as I'm sure all parents know.A few weeks ago, we tried just picking him up and putting him down til he fell asleep in the crib. He ended up so upset that he cried nonstop even in my husband's arms because he was exhausted. I finally just said to put him in the swing, and he fell asleep right away.I've followed all kinds of suggestions to transition him out: the swing is next to his crib; he plays in the crib sometimes (he loves the mobile and loves rolling over); I try putting him in there to see what happens (on occasion, he will nap, but it's rare and unpredictable); I have other sleep associations going like a white noise machine, dark room, pajamas, story, etc. I don't know what else to do. I'm reluctant to buy a Magic Merlin suit or Zippity-Zip because it's hot right now.Any advice?PS: he still doesn't sleep through the night, and it's only recently that he's begun "going to bed" at a set time (8pm) and sleeping until 6-7am with a few wakeups in between. He's easy to settle when he wakes up, but we're all still waking up. He's breastfed, and I've reduced night feedings to just once or twice a night.So my point is, I'm scared of this progress going completely out the window, and I'm scared of having to let him cry. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/294IHIV

Is there some kind of logical reason why kids get so little physical activity in school?

My son recently started a summer camp where he actually gets a reasonable amount of activity and the difference in his demeanor is huge. He is able to focus at home much better and is better behaved.I don't think this is a unique issue, yet I don't think any schools in western countries give the kids enough activity...just wondering if there is some reason why this is the case. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2962XfD

At a loss for ideas for fitness for a 11 YO son with physical delays -- looking for suggestions or a place to start.

My 11 year old son wants to do some kind of fitness program like his older brother (13) who goes to the gym. However, 11 Y0 has some physical issues -- low muscle tone, balance issues, flexibility issues, and does not meet some of the physical fitness standards for kids his age. He does not qualify for physical therapy because he exceeds the physical requirements. We've also done soccer, basketball, and martial arts -- which he didn't care for enough to keep going after the session was done. He also has a mood disorder, SPD, and ADHD which make some activities difficult because of other distractions or noise. Or he can get frustrated and upset if he doesn't do well. Looking for some suggestions on what kinds of programs (if any) that would be a good place for him to start. I know he'd like to be stronger and it would help his self-esteem. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/292P1PC

5 year old over-reacts in a disturbing way.

Our five year old daughter is the sweetest little thing. She is empathetic and makes friends easily. The only snag is that when something goes wrong she acts out in the most dramatic fashion possible.Even a minor correction can result in "I'm stupid," "I'm the worst kid," and more disturbingly "I should die." She is smart and creative and will even list off the ways she should die. "I should be in a fire," or "I'm going to jump in the ocean and get swallowed by a whale."Obviously, these aren't realistic and we don't have any fear of her acting on them. But they are...unsettling - especially to others who haven't seen it before.We checked with her teacher and she doesn't do it at school. But yesterday at day camp she did. She hit a kid and when she was punished, she went into her usual routine. The day camp leaders didn't know what to do at all. They put her in time out which just spiraled into a prolonged tantrum.We have tried ignoring it. We have tried talking it through with her. We have tried punishing her when she says those things. Nothing changes. Maybe this is just her "tantrum style?"I don't think she really understands the consequences of what she's saying. And I don't think she is depressed or anything. But I wonder if anyone else has seen this sort of thing and how they handled it. Even a little reassurance would be great. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/295jpKl

Looking for vacation activity in a major city that could serve as a "second-wind generator" for my 9-year-olds.

Hello,Last year, my family spent a day in Niagara Falls (Canada-side). It was exhausting, walking in such heat, but we made it to the giant SkyWheel, and the half-hour spent there (air-conditioned, slow mover, beautiful vistas) served as a wonderful "second-wind" generator, and the kids had enough energy to pursue the itinerary for the rest of the day.This year we are going to Boston; and I suspect that for the limited time that we will spend there, there is entirely too much for them to do. Instead of cutting a program out or two, I was thinking of finding an activity they can do sandwiched between two big activities, that can also help provide for them that necessary second-wind.Any ideas? (Or should I bite the bullet and cut out an activity)? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29cmrQT

Weekly- Wallet Wednesday- June 29, 2016

This is a weekly thread where you can share pictures of your children and cute, crazy or awful things they have done. Please upload your pictures through Imgur and post the link as a comment. Feel free to share the context of the picture! If you are not a parent yourself, this is the place to ask us anything. Also, if you ever wonder who we are, click here to meet the mod team! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29cfS0y

Have you stopped allowing an eager, free babysitter to babysit? What pushed you over the edge?

I've had it up to here with my SO's parents' undermining and complete lack of judgment, but his threshold seems to be that the stupid things they do are pretty unlikely to actually kill our kid, so let's just take advantage of the free, enthusiastic babysitting whenever possible.Have any of you had to cut someone off who loved watching your kid(s)? How bad did it get before you pulled the trigger? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2904XS8

I'm concerned because a lot of boys like my daughter

About two years ago, my daughter hit puberty and last year she started getting get scary pretty scary fast. She also got her braces off and people say her smile is so beautiful. Around that time, too, she asked if she could wear makeup, so I took her to a makeup store and they showed her which makeup would look good on her and how to put it on without it being too much. This makeup obviously made her even prettier than she already was. Partway through this year, it seemed like boys started showing interest in her. Several boys sometimes call her and text her. And some days when I picked her up from school, sometimes a boy would walk with her to the car to talk to her. And guys have asked her to hang out with them this summer. She's a very sweet, good girl and she does well in school and I've never had any problems with her. But I don't want her to start getting mixed up with the wrong boys and going to parties and having sex. What do I do? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29oCKpK

Flying with my 2 year old (First Time)

Parents who have traveled with their children I need your advice! My daughter is taking her first flight ever (2.5 hours). She is a seasoned road tripper and train passenger, and fortunately a pretty laid back kid, but are there any tips you could give to ease boredom, possible fear, etc?I usually pack snacks, pack a few small books, have some movies/mickey mouse clubhouse on a tablet and give her a Kinder Surprise as a treat/time occupation for road trips. What do you all think? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/293JVVP

Bragging parents

Not a question, really. Mostly a vent.I struggle with my annoyance at parents who brag. Everybody thinks their kids are beautiful, brilliant and exceptional. But occasionally I end up talking to parents whose kids are objectively exceptional, and I get tired of their bragging.I have a Facebook friend who likes to write cute posts about what her daughter talks about, "Little Pumkin has announced that she'll reconcile quantum mechanics and the theory of relativity before she reaches second grade. What a rascal!" Another friend has a daughter who is physically very adept, and likes to update me on her current mile time, the fact that she's the youngest black belt in her school, etc.It's annoying. I dont know if I'm annoyed because I am jealous --either of their kids' accomplishments or their comfort with bragging...I want to brag, too! I tend to respond with something droll, "Oh? That's great. My kid has a black belt in Minecraft, ha ha."Thoughts? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/293Vfk5

The plastic/electronic toys vs wooden toys debate

So, before I had my son I was very much inclined towards more wooden toys and 'simple' toys, and made it clear to family who might buy things to avoid anything battery powered and electronic. This is partially because I prefer wooden toys and do think that perhaps simpler toys leave more room for imagination, and also I want to avoid the faff of replacing batteries and the annoyance of bleeps and flashing lights. We do buy Lego and certain plastic toys that are still non-battery powered, though.Anyway, a lot of people told me it was unrealistic and that I'd cave at some point - kids prefer electronics, they'll get bored, etc.My son is 21 months now and to be honest I find the opposite is true. We haven't got anything battery powered for him at home, and he rarely has TV/tablet time (like, 10 mins a day maximum usually, mostly him watching orchestra videos on YouTube) and so he only plays with these things out of the house at playgroups etc. I find that the flashing stuff/plastic toys tend to keep him entertained for maybe only 30 seconds - enough time to be amused by the lights, but then want to see something new. Whereas wooden puzzles/stacking toys/etc. at home can keep him entertained for much longer than that.Any experiences from parents on here? Am I missing out by not buying electronic stuff, or is it a myth that kids are more entertained by flashing lights and music? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/294oVBk

Teenager Bad Behavior (drugs) - Advice?

Throwaway for privacy reasons.I’m gonna spare the long sob story for everyone’s sake, but basically I’m 20 and I’m now responsible for my 4 younger siblings (ages 15, 12, 11, 8) after the death of my parents about a year ago. It’s been a big adjustment from being their older brother away at college to now the “parent.” Nobody’s handled it well but my younger brother (age 15) has handled it horribly. I know he’s resorted to doing drugs, alcohol. His performance in school last semester was awful, at least when he went (so add in some suspensions in here too). He’s been kicked off the teams he was on for not showing up. He’ll usually come home sometime between 2:00 am and the next afternoon, rarely calling. And so on. I can’t really discipline him effectively because I’m his older brother, the one who used to just let him get away with stuff. He also knows I experimented with marijuana and alcohol in high school and I managed “fine” (good grades, college etc.) so he doesn’t take me seriously at all on this. I try to explain I was different since I just experimented at parties occasionally and didn’t let it dominate my life (plus he’s doing drugs much worse than pot), but that obviously isn’t effective (btw not justifying my high school behavior, just remarking). I think he’s just angry so he’s finding an outlet. Part of the problem is, I think, I’m really busy. I work a lot to financially support them and I transferred to a local university and take classes part time, so I don’t really have time to emotionally support him and I’m away a lot so that gives him plenty of time to sneak out. My younger sister texts me when he leaves but I can’t just leave work every time that happens. Our elderly neighbor watches the youngest while I go to my second job in the evening, and she’s tried to stop him from leaving but he’ll get violent with her if she tries to restrain him too much so I’ve just told her to let him go. He’s actually a really great kid, but he was really close to my mother (he was the obvious favorite), and he just can’t emotionally handle it. I just don’t want him to throw his entire life away or worse die. I also don’t want my even younger brother (11) to get any ideas that this behavior is OK. I’ve tried talking to him about what happened; I’ve tried explaining what the consequence for himself and his future will be; I’ve tried screaming and yelling; I’ve tried guilting him; I’ve tried punishing him (though, again, he just runs out anyway). Not really sure what to do.Perhaps nobody here can give useful advice since a big problem is he doesn’t listen to me at all, but I thought maybe some parents could help. I don’t really have anyone to ask this to since my friends are all under 25 and I don’t know really any adults. I’ve tried asking some of my parents old friends, but they seem uninterested. I tried talking to his school counselor but I got no help there. So I decided to turn to the parents of Reddit.If more information would be helpful let me know and I can try to oblige. Thanks in advance. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/297Tx47

The battle of the sippy cups. Please help.

All I need is ONE sippy cup that does not leak. Please. I've bought at least 3 different kinds, not entirely sure of the name or brand but two for sure I know are playtex and they all leak like crazy when they are tipped over. So if any of you have had some luck with one or two specific brands in particular please let me know! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29dMK6b

My 3 y/o is acting strangely

Okay so I'm bathing my 3y/o today, and he starts to appear very sad. So I ask him if he's sad, he nods his head yes and I ask Why. And he looks at me and then points behind me. I, then, ask if he's afraid and he says no. This sent chills up my back but I remained calm. His other parent and I are not together but they see him every other week. Recently, he's been acting out at daycare. Shaking with temper tantrums and then sobbing. He's also antisocial. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/29dv6ja

[Advice] I need to babyproof my apartment. Time to anchor bookcases etc to walls...

That said, the walls in my living room (I live in NYC in a rental) appear to be plaster over lathe. Can I effectively secure furniture to the wall if my wall is like this? It doesn't look like plastic toggle anchors will work.. Should I be on the lookout for toggle bolts or hollow wall anchors? Any tips for anchoring to plaster walls? I'm going to try and find studs, but I think I might not be able to find them..Thanks in advance! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/291m0rR

15 month old HATES getting his teeth brushed

My wife and I are completely at a loss. We've tried everything - letting him play with the toothbrush to familiarise himself, different baby toothpastes, different baby toothbrushes (finger toothbrushes too), tips from friends (positions, games, etc), ... NOTHING WORKS! At the moment, I hold my son's mouth open for about a minute while my wife brushes. He hates this of course, but we feel we have no option if we don't want him to develop cavities. Has anyone else been through this? Any advice greatly appreciated! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2922szY

Opinions: Who is responsible when a young child breaks something at daycare?

So I have a dilemma and I'm hoping to get as many opinions as possible.I have a 4 year old child, and he's quite the little handful. We're in the process of having him deemed "gifted", and we're in talks with our pediatrician and workers who are explaining that part of the package is that he will be more difficult to handle than a typical child because of this. He has trouble with his temper, and he has trouble relating to other children because his interests are sort of more complex for his age. Our daycare worker is totally on board the process, and she seems eager for the opportunity to care for the little stinker. We love her; she's been great to us so far. We're thankful that she's agreed to take on our son in her home daycare.We've been there for around a year now, and in that time he once broke a toy. She never asked us to pay and honestly before now I didn't really consider that our responsibility. I viewed it as part of running a home daycare, although I did and still do feel badly about it. Maybe you'll agree with me on not offering to pay for it, maybe you'll disagree, but nonetheless, the fact that he's broken something before is important for what I'm about to say next.He's broken something again, and I'm very torn on how to feel about it. This time it was an expensive, fragile glass item that could have seriously hurt him or the other children there, and it shouldn't have been within his reach in the first place. She says he broke it purposely by slamming it to the ground. I'm torn in the following two directions:I want to replace her item because I feel so badly that my child purposely broke it and because he's broken something in the past which I already don't feel too great about.I don't want to replace the item, because I don't want it to again be within his reach, and potentially hurt himself or others. I'm concerned that he was able to grab it to begin with. If he'd have gotten his hands on something like that in my own care, I'd feel kind of dumb for allowing him access to it in the first place.This is really the first time I've been concerned for his safety like this, and I understand that accidents happen, so I'm willing to get over that since she's otherwise been fabulous. People are human and slip up. That's how I view the situation because she has an otherwise wonderful track record. I'm just totally at a loss for how to proceed. My husband and I are getting the impression that she wants us to pay for her broken glass. We kind of want to, but also kind of don't want to since that would be rewarding her slip that could have hurt our child.What would you do if you were in this situation? We never signed anything stating that we're responsible for broken items, so I know that legally we're not required to pay. I want to be nice, but not too nice. I'm thinking that maybe I'll use this as a life lesson for our son, with the whole taking change from the piggy bank to buy a new one at the store... but... he shouldn't have been able to grab it in the first place! I'm very very torn. Maybe pay for half since every party should own up to their responsibility in the matter? What do you think? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2978eEw