It took a week for my wife to clean the house.

We had a crazy weekend visiting family for Memorial day. Airports, traveling, packing, crazy 11 month old, etc.My wife works very part time while I work 10-12 hour work days. This makes it hard for me to do any real cleaning when I'm home as the baby is usually sleeping or I'm helping with care. Out of no where dishes got stacked up, suitcases didn't get unpacked, little man made a mess EVERYWHERE and my wife didn't pick it up.FINALLY.She's nearly 5 months pregnant and stresses too much on having a perfectly clean house. She'll clean no matter how tired, sick or big she's feeling. I finally sat her down and told her "I don't need a clean house, neither do you. Please rest this week. We can tackle it together this weekend." And she listened!!The best part was what then took place. She spent so much time being a mom and loving on our son. Not that she doesn't normally, but this week it was amazing. Listening to her describe the little stories about their day makes me incredibly happy. The videos she text me during work and the pictures I see are beyond the worth of a clean house and makes work a little bit easier.Parents, don't focus on that clean house so much. Watch your little one grow. Enjoy the time. We're coming up on his first birthday and I can't believe it. Im just glad we've learned to slow down, not worry about the little things, and enjoy this time we have with him. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2W9bRNv

Daughter helping special needs boy backfiring?

I'm a mom of 4 kids. My daughter, who is 10, and in 5th grade, is the oldest. She is an exceptionally kind girl, sweet, generous, all around lovely (not just a mom brag---that is truly her nature!). There is a boy in her class, let's call him E, who is special needs. I am not sure exactly what is wrong, but he struggles socially, has outbursts in class, and struggles to make friends. E also has a classroom aide, in addition to being pulled out for some subjects.My daughter, being kind naturally, would tell me that she would talk to him in class and sometimes play with him at recess, "because the other kids don't want to play with him". DD has told me that he is often loud, impulsive, and socially awkward, and sometimes she even doesn't want to play with him because he's hard to get along with. She understands that he has special needs, and that it's important to be nice to him. I always told her that I am proud of her for being nice to him and trying to include him, but she is more than welcome to play with her other friends too, friends who make her very happy.Now, my issue is this, and forgive me if this comes out terribly. My DD came home from a field trip today, very, very, very upset. She was excited for their trip to the zoo this morning, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me that everyone in class, a few days ago, got to pick their groups (within reason) and up until today, she thought she was being in a group with 4 of her friends from her class. Instead, the teacher pulls her aside this morning, and asks her to be her "special helper" and to be in a group with E, two other special needs kids, and their aide, for the duration of the trip. DD was shocked, because she wanted to be with her friends, and E especially stresses her out, despite her knowing that he has special needs. DD asked why she was put in a group with those kids, and the teacher told my daughter, "Oh, you are so good with E and *other kids* and so good at being nice to others when other kids aren't!" DD, not wanting to cause a problem, went on the trip in that group, and had a miserable time. E and others were apparently overstimulated easily didn't want to go in most of the exhibits, and DD had a terrible time.I am proud of DD for being nice to this boy, but she should NOT be forced or expected to help this boy out all the time, especially with the teacher unexpectedly putting her in an awkward position. I also found out that the teacher has moved DD next to him for the entire marking period, and despite her telling her teacher that he distracts her and annoys her, teacher keeps saying "Oh, be nice, he has special needs!" DD's teacher also put him at DD and friends' lunch table, where he also is disruptive and makes it hard for others to socialize.DD told me, "Mama, I want to be nice to this boy. I know he thinks and acts and learns differently because he is special needs, but he drives me crazy!" DD also told me that she was afraid to tell me up until now, thinking that I'd accuse her of being mean or not nice to him. I get where she is coming from, too. It's one thing to be nice to someone and try and take them under your wing, but it's hard when someone isn't socially apt---nor should it be my daughter's responsibility to be his guide/wingwoman.I'm going to try and meet with DD's teacher next week. I know the year is ending, but I want to nip this in the bud before the 5th grade festivities begin---picnic, 5th grade dance, their class parties, etc. Do any of you have any ways I can address this to her without coming off like a jackass, plain and simple? Are my feelings valid? I feel awful, but it's important to teach your kids to be kind, but to not sacrifice your own happiness, for someone else. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2WI6tFq

I have a real first grader.

Today was the last day of school for us. To be exact the last day of kindergarten. Now they made a big deal at school about the transition to first grade. They had a graduation, a party.. The whole nine yards. Well this morning I asked my daughter how she was feeling about her last day. She got upset. She told me she wasn't ready. She was scared, she doesn't know how to read and first graders read. There was tears.Now we have been working hard at reading, I know she can read a little. And tonight at bed time I pushed on her to read to me.Little by little, my six year old read my a whole book. It was slow, and we sounded it out a lot. But good god we got so excited.She ran out to tell her dad and exclaimed "Dad! I'm a real first grader now!"I cried. Dad cried. Somedays I feel like parenting is an out of control train, headed for a crash. But these moments make it all worth while. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2Kh4dxX

Those days where you just want to chill and have no kids

They're quite hard! You wake up feeling a bit run down, or just touched out and you're craving a day where the only person you have to feed and entertain is yourself.But your toddler wants your attention, your baby needs feeding and soothing, your husband needs to get something productive done (fit the new dishwasher today). I need a day off. No actually, a weekend off. I want to drink cocktails, eat yummy nutritious food and just chill. Go to the movies.Being a parent is relentless.(Obligatory: I love my kids deeply!) via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2MAMu7N

6yo SD is terribly anxious about going to new school next year. How can I help ease her anxiety?

My 6 year old step daughter just graduated Kindergarten. She excelled in all of her studies except for behavior, in which she slowly progressed. But that progress was not without a LOT of work, doctors appointments, an ADHD diagnosis, and therapy. Simply put, nobody was happy with her school administration, we had some run ins with the after school latchkey staff who lied about our kid having lice because they didn’t want to deal with her in the after school program. She got write ups for spending “too much time” in the bathroom when she was sick and constipated. She would get sent to the principals office for defending herself when another girl in class would lie to the teacher about something SD did/didn’t do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fully aware that SD is no angel, but some of the complaints coming from the school were just outlandish.Anywho, for the aforementioned reasons (plus others I won’t bore you with), we have decided to switch schools. Because she is diagnosed, she is eligible for a scholarship that allows her to attend a school outside of our district. The school has better resources for her and more specialized teachers that can assist her. About 2 weeks ago SD found out she wouldn’t be returning to the same school next year and has been a fit of tears ever since. Today was the last day of school and she’s been wailing since we got home (about 5 hours ago). She’s not mad or angry, she’s just sad and anxious about having to make new friends. She still talks about (and sometimes cries over) a friend she had in the beginning of the school year who moved and transferred schools like a month into the school year. SD is an only child and has a deep connection to her friends. She doesn’t see many of them outside of school, but she does talk about her school friends quite a bit. She keeps reiterating to me through tears that she is nervous her new school will have mean kids who won’t want to be friends with her. We definitely can’t keep her in the old school because there are other issues she doesn’t understand yet (see paragraph 1). But it’s breaking my heart to see her so upset.Her mom has already asked for some of her friends numbers to keep in contact and schedule play dates and such over the summer, so I’m hoping that will help. I’ve also told her about how I had to move schools and how I made a lot of new friends, etc. We keep talking about the positives to try and reassure her but she’s just not taking it. She will be quiet or watching tv or playing and suddenly ask about her new school - so I know it’s running through her mind. I’m hoping the new school has an open house we can attend so she can meet her new teacher, but that won’t happen until August at the earliest. What can we do to help her with this transition? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2QBp8Nl

I called cps on a friend and now I feel guilty. (Reposting to keep identity secret)

I'm not feeling guilty because I made a false report, I just keep thinking about how I would feel if someone called cps on me and the fear that I would have about someone taking my child away.The family in question has a 6 month old baby. They are heavy drug users, and they fight often around baby, sometimes getting physical. They were also talking seriously about feeding baby whole milk and baby food, no formula.I'm having a lot of anxiety about reporting them, as I'm worried about the danger that this will bring if they find out who reported them. My motivator was entirely the well-being of the baby. I didn't do this maliciously, or with the intention of getting the baby taken away, I simply want to make sure the baby is okay, but I know they wont see that way amd will attempt retaliation. I just need help to soothe my nerves about it. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2KpXkuD

Recommendation for couples workbooks (or other ideas) as a fun way to reconnect?

We have 2 small children (3 & 1) and don’t feel that we have a lot of spousal quality time. Seems it is impossible to talk when the kids are around and when they go to bed we’re exhausted and end up scrolling through our phone or watching tv.The first step we are taking is to stop looking at our phones in the evening, which now frees up a lot of time! Is there anything fun you’d recommend, like a couples work book, to help reconnect outside of our life with kids? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2WyG24N

Experiences going from a family of three to a family of four

Forgive my formatting, I'm a mobile user.I am nearly in my third trimester for our second child. I keep hearing, "going from a family of three to a family of four was by far the hardest thing!" from parents who have two or more children. I know that a lot of people love to over exaggerate, and nobody will overly talk about their experiences with the transition.So I would love to hear everybody's opinion and experience with adding the second child to your family! And any advice you may have for both myself and my husband! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2KgZNaE

Should I throw my 27 year old jobless, friendless, unmotivated son out?

I'll give a little background. This maybe long so, sorry in advance. I am currently divorced for 7 years with two sons: Son #1(27) & Son #2(24).Twelve years ago my eldest son, then 15, caught his dad having an affair w/a coworker (long story short: he was doing something on dad's phone and read text mssg). My then husband and I separated for a few months but got back together.Fast forward 3 years later (three years of driving lessons, sports traveling,vacations, Christmases...etc) and boom! My now ex comes home and says he's moving out and plans on marrying a family friend. Two years later I am divorced while heavily medicated and in the middle of a nervous breakdown (PA law-only need one party to divorce). Ex married gf and I moved out of state to work for a family member.Son #2 went to university but transferred to college to city where I live. He just graduated, working pt for company he's worked for the last 4 years, looking for job in his field. He pays me $25 a week to basically store his stuff & shower.Son #1 has gone to college on and off for seven years. He cannot go back because he owes the last school 1k since he didn't withdrawl on time when he quit. He has also worked on and off (mainly off) for the past 5 years. He had a girlfriend for about 6 months and she ghosted him two months ago (she lived in the other state). He abruptly quit his job (of a year) at a convenience store shortly after.He had an interview and was sure he was going to get this other job so he quit the job he had. He didn't get the sure-thing job.After a melt-down a week ago (after speaking with the ghosted gf, getting drunk and calling his dad for advice!) he is back to doing what he likes to do best...nothing.The house doesn't smell like he's smoking weed. Stuff isn't going missing and he doesn't leave the house so I rule out harder drugs. He's lived here 5 years and has zero friends other then his younger brother.I don't know if he has a mental issue (he has a very high iq, but doesn't seem to suffer from aspergers or adhd). He is becoming one of quintessential basement dwellers...without the basement.Both my siblings think I throw him out. He'll be forced on his own. But, when faced with that prospect he threatens suicide or some crimal activity that'll land him jail. I don't THINK he'd do either, but after the serious meltdown last week, I'm not so sure.I will say, I know I'm to blame for this behavior. I felt such guilt when their dad (whom they adored)walked out. I was there physcially but mentally I was gone for a few years. I'm mentally better now, but the years of giving in and 'letting him find his way' have caught up.He shows no sign of finding a job. He won't have money to pay his next month phone bill, and he doesn't have insurance on his car.I really, really don't now what to do. I haven't spoken to his dad since son #2 graduated HS 6 years ago.Has anyone been a similar situation? What was the outcome? Any advice is welcome. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2ELn0xT

7 year old neighbor boy has been playing "secret touch" with my 5 year old son

It came out recently that a 7 year old neighbor boy who regularly plays with our 5 year old son, had a game of "secret touch" where the 5 year old would pull down his pants and the 7 year old would touch his penis. This has apprently been happening for a couple months.​It came out when my 9 year old daughter visited that same house and the 7-yr old said she couldn't go to the bathroom unless he could watch and she fought back. Then the 5-year old shared the "secret" with his older sister.​I know kids mess around a bit with this kind of stuff, but this is beyond normal messing around levels.​We've talked to his parents. We're not ending the friendship, but they don't get to play inside anymore.​I'm curious if a 5 year old may need any other support or help with something like this? On one hand, I don't want this to fell like a big deal to him. We've talked about how people shouldn't get to touch you in swimsuit zone and how people who tell you to keep secrets from mom and dad are just trying to do bad things. He's fairly nonchalant about the whole thing so far.​And I don't know how much he'll remember as a 5 year old. But I also don't want him to carry some kind of burden of having broken a secret or done something wrong or even just normalizing behavior that probably shouldn't be normalized.​I know the reddit reflex is always "get a counselor", but I'm not sure if that would make the situation better (by helping him figure this out) or make it worse (by cementing it in his head as a significant event). via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2Mn8VwT

Has anyone given one child one parent’s last name and another child the other parent’s last name?

For example, a husband and wife giving one child the paternal last name, and the other child the maternal last name.If you have done this, what has your experience been? Does it cause any confusion for the kids? Or for friends and community? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2ELA4U2

To the woman at the restaurant who shamed me for not filming my daughter fast enough

You suck. You just do. I get it, you think my daughter is precious and she is and was being adorable so excited about the train passing in front. I get that I am not quick on the draw off the camera which might make me an anomaly in social media culture but no, I am not one of those parents that documents every adorable thing she does. She's adorable all the time and I prefer to enjoy my life without a phone always between us so no, it was tucked away in my purse when you barked at me that I should be ashamed of myself for not filming this.I know you were being tongue in cheek, but you still suck. I have a lot of mommy friends who post two dozen pictures and videos a day and more power to them but that's not how we all operate and I'll admit I've missed some prime moments because of my hesitation to pull out my camera which maybe why this stung. Or maybe it was just because it was after a long upsetting day, or maybe it was because it was just random unsolicited judgement.Whatever it was, it sucked and I wish I'd said something at the time because what I did instead kind of pisses me off. I scrambled for my phone and tried to take a video which caused me to miss half of the moment and the video didn't even come out good because I'm not a freaking videographer. So, next time I'll just say no not my thing, because you know what? You suck. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EHZodp

2 year old cries when sees father

My daughter cries when she sees her father, even before we separated. We are in the middle of working out a custody agreement, and I just tried to FaceTime her with him against my lawyers advice. She cried hysterically and ran to me and took about 20 minutes to calm down. Why is this happening? I make it a point not to talk negatively about him around her, I fake as much as I can that I am confident in his ability to take care of her. I feel awful. I want her to have a strong relationship with her father who loves her so much. Any advice? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2JPBAc4

Anyone have experience with 3 babys in 3 years?

Just found out my wife is pregnant with our 3rd. The first 2 were planned but we were gonna hold off for a couple of years for the 3rd. Were sort of shocked and worried about it, does anyone have any experience with this situation and can you give me some advice and what I should expect? Finances are sort of tight and I'm actually looking into rejoining the military at 33 years old. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2Z1kdZb

My mom helped clean our house, and my wife threatened to leave me.

So as always, the title isn't the whole story. Sorry if this isn't entirely a strictly parenting story, mods please let me know if I need to post elsewhere.​I work full time, wife works part time evenings. We have two kids ages 4y and 1.5y. We are pregnant with our third, still in prime morning sickness mode. Wife stays at home with kids while I work, I stay at home with them while she works. We don't do daycare, we couldn't afford it and are not trusting enough of our options in our area.​While my wife tries her best, the house is destroyed every day. I spend all 2 hours I get with the kids before their bed time cleaning, and occasionally attempting to talk the kids out of harming each other. I have made it clear to my wife that I am not happy like this, and we both are telling each other we need help and for things to get better. She thinks our best bet is to move half way across the US to her family, who is retired unlike my parents, so we could get more help.​Unfortunately I am a horrible communicator. Due to some other unrelated events I was pretty harsh to my wife over text due to a dispute we were having while I was at work. We were unable to help each other understand our views on the situation, and I let my anger get the best of me, and mentioned that she was unbearable to be with sometimes.​Last night I had my mom (who was watching the kids while I worked late) drop them off at our house on my way home. When I got home my mom helped me clean the house. I just about cried, a grown man to his mother. She was understanding of how my house was so messy. She's had kids, I was a messy kid, there was no judgement from her at all. Just help.​I told my wife this morning that my mom helped and she lost it on me. She is upset that I crossed a boundary and let my mother into her house to judge her. She mentioned that she was fed up, and was on the verge of leaving. I tried talking to her, but she is just pure rage.​I don't know what to do. I'm an ass, but am I the completely in the wrong? I'll answer most questions, I recognize this is kinda skimming the situation. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2IfRpoW

No neighborhood kids and shrinking elementary school

We bought a home in a great school district and now I feel like moving. Our neighborhood is a little older - most of the home owners raised their kids here in the 90s - but still some new families here and there. We hoped it would turn over some more because “everyone” with kids moves here for the schools.My son is now 5 and there are no neighborhood kids. Maybe a baby or a 4th grader around the block, but essentially the area is still just empty nesters and their dogs. At Kindergarten orientation, we were told that the school has shrunk so much that they can only fill one K class.Do you think this will create problems in the long run? I feel disappointed at how things turned out in terms of social possibilities for my kid and the responsibility of volunteering (and donations/fundraising) for a school. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2wt76nk

Question: Loading baby/kids into car first

Perspective check here...When we have a bunch of stuff to load into the car and the car seat is in the car I’ll put the baby in it while we load. Our car is in the driveway, and 6 feet from the front door and we live in a VERY safe neighborhood. I don’t see any danger or harm in this but my wife seems to think it’s the equivalent of leaving a child in a hot car while I go shopping.I’m just loading stuff from the front doorway to the car, and MAYBE running to the office or bedroom to double check or grab a phone.Do you think it’s reasonable to load baby first? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2Wgq3ZD

Is Laundry at 8 too young?

​I am a Stay at home parent to two kiddos. Almost 8 and 3.My daughter will be 8 in June. She has minimal chores; she unloads the dishwasher, cleanse her room, makes her bed before school and folds her laundry on the days I do laundry. I feel all of these actions are reasonable things to ask of a kid her age.This past weekend, she changed her clothes ten times, threw it all in the laundry and complained about having nothing clean to wear. I had just done the wash for the weekend. I explained, "None of those clothes are dirty. Take them out, fold them up and put them away. You have plenty of clothes to pick from kiddo."She had a complete meltdown - kicking, screaming, howling. I couldn't talk to her without getting more screaming. I had to have my husband put her in her room. Eventually, she calmed down, came out and told me she still needs clean clothes. So I said, "Ok, I'll show you how to clean your clothes. This way you'll have clean clothes when you need, instead of based on when I do laundry for the household.""MOMMA NO" More screaming. Husband had to go sit with her for an hour to get her to chill out enough.My husband is MORTIFIED. He lectured ME on trying to pile too much responsibility on someone too young for it. Saying he had to cook, clean and was responsible for him and his dad's chores, that my doing laundry for four people at her age is unreasonable. That I should know better.I told him this is how kids learn to be functional people, by learning to care for things around the home. That I was going to be there every step of the way for her - loading, sorting (if necessary), how much soap to use, how to listen for when the machines are done.. He's unconvinced.He's not home with the kids as much as I am, and often says I'm too hard on her, expecting too much. I just want to raise competent people, man! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2IcAbsx

Looking for Suggestions

Hey everyone. Okay, so here's the deal, I (37m) have a 10 year old son who is starting to become very independent. While this is beautiful and expected it's starting to cause some major lack of respect issues. Let me preface this by saying that my son has always been a very kind and loving person, we are only a small little family of 3 and (minus any cliche's) we are all very close with each other. Now, that said, he has started to blatantly disregard directions to do things - ie you tell him to go read in his room and he comes out every 5-10 mins to ask some ridiculous question with the only reason or intention to be not to read. 2 years ago for Christmas my mom bought him an Amazon Fire tablet (despite my HEAVY rejection to it) and his face is glued to it now with almost every free second he has. I have attempted to get him to listen by taking this away from him, it works but its kind of a - meh - punishment. Mostly because it does not bother him at all.​Enough with the background here's the current issue at hand that i could use some help with. Last night we went out to dinner and had a discussion with him that he is having way to much screen time and its starting to hurt him developmentally. It was a great conversation actually - feels all around and generally a good vibe. He had a book report to finish as well as regular homework, so what does he do when we get home? Goes straight into the bathroom - alright that's cool - maybe the food bothered him. Nope, he snuck his Nintendo Switch in there because he wanted to play with it. I didn't realize that, nor was I paying attention to the time because I was helping my wife do some things around the house.. about a 45 mins later I finally realize he's "missing" and call for him, he answers and I walk back to the bathroom and see he's playing on the Switch - it's now 7:30pm - he know's what's required of him and how long it's going to take to do (hours) yet this was his decision. So I don't really yell at him, more just express my severe disappointment and take the Switch. It took him till almost 10pm to get his report and homework done. He spent almost 45 mins hiding in the bathroom playing on that stupid Switch. When he gets all done with his report and homework he comes out and we chat about the bathroom/switch thing and conclude that I was going to be taking it away from him for the weekend. His exact response was "I'm okay with that" and off he went to bed. I was like, wow that was very mature of him, he handled that very well. Fast forward to this morning I wake up and come out to the living room and he's just laying on the couch playing the switch like nothing's the matter. Didn't even recognize there was an issue. Two quick asides, when i tucked him in to bed i told him that as soon as he wakes up that he is to pick up the lego's off his floor and the second thing is he was to take a shower. So, not only has he not done either of those two things, he just went and started playing with his Switch. So obviously this needs to be addressed, my first instinct is to just ground him and make him read all weekend in his room, but the more i think about it I feel like that will just make him resent reading. I am at a loss on how to punish him and looking for suggestions from you guys. I love creative things, I really want him to consider and understand that I appreciate the fact that he's becoming independent but regardless he still needs to listen to his parents when they tell him to do something. So what do you guys think could/would be a creative appropriate punishment?? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2QAmrvt

Worried about our neighbor kid

We live in a really nice, safe neighborhood. Double townhouses throughout. Our direct neighbor who we share a wall with has a young son. He’s 12 years old and a really polite, sweet kid- I’ll call him C. I have 4 kids. My oldest is a girl who’s 11 and then a 9 year old son who attend the same school as our neighbor and ride the same bus. C lives with his single Dad. C comes home to an empty house after school every day- which is ok, he’s old enough and mature enough. But the problem is the way him and his father go about this. His Dad will leave their garage door open for C to get inside. But the Dad is constantly forgetting to leave the garage door open. C knocks on my door to use the phone to call his dad regularly. Then his Dad will open the garage door from wherever he’s at. I’m guessing it’s an app or something linked to their door. Well I’ll invite him in every time and make him a snack and ask about his day. Real sweet boy. Then he’ll play with my kids until he gets ahold of his Dad and gets let inside his house. Yesterday I had picked the kids up from school and we went out to run errands and eat out for supper. We got home around 7pm, pull into our driveway and I see C on his front porch. It’s dark out and his sitting on the porch step, leaning over and resting on his book bag. My heart sank and I was furious. I hugged him and brought him inside, made him something to eat and he called his Dad. I was expecting to hear his Dad apologizing profusely and saying he’s rushing home. Nope. C was on the phone for 2 minutes and hung up, then we heard their garage door opening. I asked him when his Dad was getting home and he shrugged his shoulders. The thought of this poor kid sitting on his front porch from 3-7 and then going to an empty house and putting himself to sleep- not happening. I told him to call his Dad back and tell him that he’s staying the night at my house. I gave him some pjs and washed his school uniform so it would be clean for tomorrow. My kids had a sleepover on a school night and were thrilled. They all are off to school the next morning - and it gets worse. I hear from my two oldest kids that C told them that he’s had sex before! He’s 12. I thought he was just telling stories, tryna be cool. Well, it didn’t set well with me. None of this sits well with me. The very next time I see C, I straight up tell him what my kids said and ask if it’s true. He tells me yes. I ask a hundred questions. It was with a 14 year old girl. We have a super long talk. I tell him everything that I would be telling my kids in this situation. He begs me not to tell his Dad, pleads for me not too. I’m completely divided about how to handle this. Part of me wants to go off on his Dad and tell him what a shitty job he’s doing in all aspects of parenting. And part of me wants to just continue taking care of C whenever he needs it and be that adult he can go too. My husband doesn’t care how I handle this, C just isn’t allowed to hang out alone with our oldest daughter anymore. What would y’all do? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2wvDJRq

Bi-Monthly Application, games and books review - May 31, 2019

This is a Bi-Weekly thread meant to share review and comments on children's phone applications, games and books.Feel free to share with us your new discoveries, what you liked and what you didn't really appreciate. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2Z1OmaD

6 year old wants to ride bikes with friends, am I being a helicopter mom?

I was curious if I am being over protective about my son. He only turned 6 in March, and has recently been asking to ride his bike around the block and throughout the neighborhood with friends around his age. Right now he is allowed to the end of our street so I can keep an eye on him, but is 6 old enough to let him have more freedom? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2KeYqsY

Worst fear at this moment... M word. Measles. Especially when it's in regard to a baby! I have a 3 year old and a 2 month old myself. This is not my story but that of a friend of mine.

Once again. This is not my story but that of a friends. I am posting on here for awareness.****************************†*************Last night was a freaking nightmare and something I would love to never deal with ever again. At about 10am I noticed a rash on Sutton. I didn't think much of it, we kept on with our day at home playing. By 830pm it was a full blown 3/4 of her body rash and looked like hives. So I (just me) go to Target to get some baby benadryl. The selection is crap, so I talk to the pharmacist and he says to go to urgent care. A very succinct concern was placed. A very upsetting word was used. Measles. With both of the urgent cares in Bonney Lake closing at 9pm, we decide to go to Seattle Childrens Hospital. Unlike most dingalings, we called on the way so we were advised we would be put into CAR QUARANTINE once we got there at 950pm. Once we were cleared to enter the building we went thru a private key pad only entrance to a quarantine room. After an initial vitals check with the masked nurse we had a bit of a wait we were joined by a provider in a fancy quarantine outfit. Another examination. Some paperwork. A contraption that sticks to baby vagina to catch pee for analysis. A bunch more yadda yadda and a few more hours they realized this rash was spreading down her legs (Yay!) so they gave her tylenol, which went down fine. And then gave her benedryl which made her immediately vomit every ounce of milk and water that has entered her body in her entire life. Or so it felt like. After cleaning her up, the floor, changing the bedding, cleaning me up, we got to strip Kevin and give him a hospital gown. Finally got Sutton to sleep after the trauma of puking out of every hole in her face and waited for the pee. 2 hours later, i feel my leg getting warm. And then my butt. Fucking pee contraption didn't work. [Recap: Kevin got drenched in vomit. I am now drenched in pee.] Thankfully the 20ml of urine that the stupid bag caught was enough for collection. Discharge to head to an at home quarantine is edging closer. Another 30 minutes and they sneak us out the same way we came in. 235am we are in the car heading home. 320am we roll up to the house, get the baby in bed with me and kev gets ready to go to work. What a fucking nightmare. They couldn't definitively say it's the meez. They aren't entirely convinced it's not. So we are on at home quarantine. It's nerve wracking. It's heart breaking. It's annoying. It's bullshit. Vaccinate your rugrats. Check that you don't need a damn booster. This shit was fucking eradicated. I shouldn't have to be holding my sleeping baby and hoping that her tests come back faster than 'sometime Friday'. There shouldn't have to be a damn test. I shouldn't be wracking my brain for a list of all the places I've been in the last month praying it doesn't coincide with the list of confirmed entitled shitfucks that felt it was their right to be able to cause this fear. (If you want to fight me on your right to this, bring your kids over. Catch the fear. I fucking dare you. You can wait by my side holding my dazed and exhausted baby while I wait for a phone call from public health.) I'm all for granola living, but I'm also all for ensuring all our babies can play in good health.Today she is exhausted. And splotchy. And miserable. She is still clapping along and trying to be her cheerful self when she's awake.I know many people are going to post their well wishes and support so know now we thank you. We are just working on getting this nuggie back to health, from whatever this is. I'll update when I hear more from Public Health tomorrow. I don't think I've ever prayed for a virus before, but first time for everything. 🤷‍♀️*******************†*********************Once again. Not my story but one that got me right in the feels when I heard it especially since I personally know them! Here is a link to their public post of you'd like to comment or share the story to educate othershttps://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10156449938657684&id=751242683 via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2WzXJRx

Education causes recklessness...allegedly

I was raised in a VERY Southern Baptist household in the Bible Belt by parents raised in the 30’s/40’s. If that doesn’t paint the most conservative household then I don’t know what does. Husband and I are expecting our first baby, a girl, in September. I had always thought that I would be able to talk to my mom about parenting when it came time but boy was I wrong. You see, I drifted away from the church (read:cult) because I didn’t subscribe to all of their ideas about what constitutes a good person and a good life. Granted, I am thankful for the lessons I learned along the way because I believe it will help be be a well rounded parent with equal parts fun and grounded discipline, but I have taken a far (like real far from where I came) liberal stance to life. Ok, now that we have the backstory out of the way, here comes he fun part. When I was growing up, sex was NOT discussed...like ever. The most I was taught was to never ever hold a boys hand, or hug him, and god forbid don’t kiss him. Aside from that, my sex Ed was from school, and good thing I have a level head so I actually learned something from it. In my house, abstinence was the only option. Period. Full stop. Yeah that didn’t work so well for me. I met my now husband when I was 16 and, well, hormones did the rest. My parents were LIVID to say the least when they found out and I was a) forced to break up with him and b) marched to the OBGYN for birth control. I was talking to my mom a few weeks ago and parenting came up. I told her how I want our daughter to feel comfortable coming to us with everything, including sex, and how intended to fully educate her about condoms, birth control, how sex works, consent and how to handle those situations. My mom....started crying. Y’all it was bizarre. Apparently, according to her, teaching my daughter about sex will UNDOUBTEDLY lead me to having a pregnant teenager under my roof. Lesson for us all: do not, under any circumstances, educated your child about sex because the more they know the more reckless they will be...I guess. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2Wdm7c8

The city is so pretty do you wanna burn it with me!?

So, my 3 year old was off doing his thing, playing and whatnot while I was finishing up cleaning the kitchen. While I was doing this I was listening to pandora (City by Hollywood Undead) and I was really getting into it. After i was done my son wanted to go outside and pull weeds in the garden, and i was like, by all means kid. So we got our gardening gloves and headed outside. I still had that song stuck in my head so I bent down to my son’s level and sang it at him, “This city is so pretty do you wanna burn it with me?” And my son just stops and rolls his eyes and says in a matter of fact tone, “Mom, we’re not burning the city. We’re gardening.” via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/30XG6dK

No one is coming to my daughter’s birthday party.

My little is turning 4. I invited 30 kids from her school. Only 3 parents responded to the invite at all and only 1 said they could come but just canceled. She is a pretty bright kid and knows we invited her whole class. We tried inviting coworkers kids as well as neighbors, everyone is busy or working. We decided to go to a arcade/pizza place instead as a family but my heart is breaking for her. I don’t know how to deliver the news of the last kid dropping out. Should I wait till the party and tell her then or just let her figure it out or tell her it’s just gonna be a special family party. I know this is a time where you have to put on a happy face and make it special for your kid, it’s just tough. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2I7xE2P

Best thing I've heard from a childless buddy lately

In response to me telling my buddies about how my wife and I have been taking turns going in to help the baby (12 mos) when she wakes up in the middle of the night, he offers, "maybe she needs to get more exercise during the day so she's more worn out at night."Me: "she literally just learned how to walk last week" via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2WidoFR

No diaper bag

I'm gonna start the story from last night while I was at work. I get a text from my SO that my 21 month old fell while climbing out of the crib and knocked his tooth forward somehow. I tried to calm her the best I could and told her everything would be fine. Fast foward to this morning I get home and get a good look at the tooth and decide it would be best to see a dentist. We left in a hurry to try and be there when they opened up and once we arrived I realized I didn't bring the diaper bag with us. I thought for a moment about making the 30 minute round trip to get the diaper bag but decided he should be fine as he normally doesn't poop early in the morning. They were able to squeeze us in and as we are in the room filling out paperwork I start to smell something and just hope it isn't him. My fears were confirmed and he had a diaper full of poop. I remembered seeing a toddler about his size in the waiting room when we arrived. Nervous and embarrassed I went to the waiting room and asked the dad if he by chance had a diaper and wipes I could use. Thank goodness he was nice enough to give me one. As someone whose face turns bright red when embarrassed I could only imagine how red it was today. Thankfully the dentist said everything would be fine with the tooth and it'd probably go back to where it started soon.TL;DRTook my son to the dentist and forgot his diaper bag. He pooped while in the back and I had to go back to the lobby embarrassed and ask another parent for a diaper. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2YRVPcu

Can I adopt some grandparents?

Memorial Day just reminded me how trying my childhood was. I want a wonderful sense of family for my 10mo old. He gets that at home from my husband and I the best we know how, but there’s definitely something extended family can bring and I’m so disappointed my LO isn’t getting that from everyone in his life. It takes a village, and my village is lacking. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2wuV1xX

My kid opened the toilet door

Today I took my 2 year old to the toilet at the shopping centre. It was a parents toilet so it had a lot of space and a sliding door which opened by pressing a button. It took me a sec to figure out how to keep the door shut... wait for it to shut on it’s own then press the lock button.I sit down to use the loo, finish my business, start to wipe. I’ve got my period so it’s a bloody mess trying to clean up. Then suddenly the siding door opens onto the hallway. It is the main hallway to all the bathrooms so people can walk right past. My first thought was that the lock didn’t work and someone was trying to get in. Then I realise my kid had hit the open door button.I panic not knowing what to do. Mashing buttons while I stand there, pants down. The door will only close in its own time! I can’t shut it! Frig.I ended up pulling my pants up and just waiting. Longest 3 seconds of my life, lucky no one walked past! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2HMDMP9

Never assume your kids aren’t listening.

My almost 4 year old is playing pretend with his dinosaur toy. He’s singing a song to himself that he makes up as he goes. All of a sudden I hear “and the mama dinosaur goes ‘I never get any alone time’”I don’t know whether or not to laugh. But it’s so very true. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2MlNGvs

Do all daycares get together and make a pact to not respond to anyone?

I’ve reached out to multiple daycares in our area and haven’t heard back from a single one. How on earth does anyone sign their child up?! Do I just walk in? I’m pregnant with our first child and this is all new to me, so I requested info from them like pricing and if they have an infant program. I’m at a loss on what to do now.One of them did get back to me and their prices were very high. They seem like a top notch facility so I’m fine with paying for what I’d get- quality care. I asked about a tour and she said absolutely, just let her know when. I responded back saying basically anytime towards the end of the day- whatever was good with them, and now nothing. She went totally silent.I’m starting to freak out. How do I go about this? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2XfshFb

Two year olds are fun.

A new great thing my son will do is eat most of his food and slide his plate away and say "all done". Like awesome buddy, thanks for letting me know nicely you're full.I ask him "you're done eating this?" And he'll always reply "yes"I take his plate away and start to put the scraps in the garbage and he yells "HEY" and holds his hands out to take the plate back. I try to hand him the plate back and he recoils and yells "NO" so I'm like ok so you're done and put the food in the garbage and he just has a complete meltdown.Anybody else have a lovely toddler story? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2QAY2WC

9yo despises 8yo brother, claims I play favorites

I love both of my children to the ends of the earth. They are absolutely my #1 reason for getting out of bed every morning and trying my best. But they are different as night and day. They always have been. It's amazing to me how obvious their differences in temperament have been since birth. It's created some struggles in parenting them.The 8yo is one of the sweetest kids you would ever meet. He is incredibly empathic and outgoing. He works hard in school and he's always the darling of the adults around him. His high level of empathy has earned him a lot of friends. He's also just generally easy going for his age. He rarely gets upset, and when he does the fallout is short lived and mild.His 9yo brother has his own set of character traits that I am extremely proud of. He's incredibly creative and talented. He has many creative hobbies which he takes very seriously. He's also a pretty deep thinker for his age. The range and depth of the questions he asks and the things he finds interesting blows my mind. I really see signs of incredible intelligence in this kid.But he is one hell of a hand full. He's hyper active and he's constantly testing boundaries. His grades are suffering, but it's certainly not due to a lack of intelligence. He hates school, and I'm often worried that his inability to integrate well into school might crush his natural curiosity. He struggles with making friends, and occasionally complains about teachers and class mates "hating him." He flat out despises authority and he's very vocal about how he feels. His emotions are also extremely intense. If he gets mad about something, he can be angry for hours. I think he feels emotions more intensely than a lot of other children.It goes even deeper though. The 8yo is far more receptive to affection than the 9yo. He makes it much easier to show love to him. For example, when we're having a family movie night the 8yo will climb into my lap and snuggle up. The 9yo by contrast gets extremely annoyed when anyone touches him, so I try to demonstrate my love for him in other ways. Usually by praising the effort he puts into his creative work. However, he'll point to me snuggling up with his brother as evidence that I love his brother more. It's like he wants love, but he pushes it away.This has created a challenging dynamic to deal with as a parent, and it seems to steadily be getting worse as the years go on. I'm almost constantly yelling at the 9yo, trying to get him under control. I almost never have to get on the 8yo for anything.The 9yo is recognizing this more and more, and he's claiming that I like his brother more than him. It seems like it's manifesting into outright disdain for his brother. He's constantly throwing unprovoked insults at him, and occasionally getting physically aggressive.I'm hoping for some ideas on how to improve this situation. I do love my 9yo. If anything, I think he has all the makings of a creative genius. I totally respect and understand his personality. Hell, I actually see a lot of myself in him. He just takes a different style of parenting than his brother. How can I improve the situation before it gets any worse? I wish I could just get him to see the problem from my perspective, but he won't hear it. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2JMEJJG

Pot smoking step daughter

My step daughter is 13 and lives out of state. My husband and I have a contentious relationship with said mother, she has custody in the state they live. I recently found out, not surprisingly, that my step daughter has been getting high with her mother. My husband is obviously upset and at odds with her mother. I'm at a loss, I'm not sure what to do. Should I call CPS on them? Should I stay out of it? After all she is not my child. My husband feels torn about the situation also. His daughter would definitely resent us if we get full custody. We know bc this isn't our first time trying to get her. Her mother has been doing through issues off and on for quite some time. Please help me. I'm at a loss! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2KcyFJL

My son is a sympathy crier and I hope it never changes

My son (11 months) is a sympathy crier. He has an older sister (almost 3) who can be a little sensitive. In other words, there are lots of tears in this house and when my son hears crying, he joins in. Enter my favorite story so far.We grocery shop at Aldi because it’s the only store around that has a double child seat (we’re in the south and I’m so over the child carrier in 90+ degree heat). Anyway, we are at the grocery store and each child has a block of cheese to carry as I push the cart. I am reminding my son that the cheese is “hands only” and redirecting it from his mouth. He is getting a little frustrated and starts waving the block of cheese around. Big sister is right next to him and of course ends up getting repeatedly smacked in the face with an entire block of cheese! She was rightly unhappy with this and began crying. Well my son doesn’t know why she’s crying but something must be upsetting so he must cry too. I couldn’t help myself, I had to laugh at the situation. Definitely one I’ll be writing down for future retelling. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/30UfU3I

My kid always wants to win

My son is 4 now, but ever since he could speak he's wanted to win. Usually that manifests as "first to touch the door wins!" Or "who ever squeezes tighter wins!". I'm not a big fan of this level of competitiveness, but I'm sure I've fostered it somehow. And needless to say, I let him "win" often.When he was 2, he told me he was faster than me and this was the last straw. He challenged me to a race. He lost. We raced again but he had a head start. Again, he lost. It got the point that he was 2 steps away from the finish line and I could still beat him from 20 ft away. He finally couldn't handle it and broke down. He couldn't cope. He cried for nearly half an hour.I should mention that my wife and I have been working hard to help him deal with and embrace failure, but he's been struggling to say the least. I think we've made a breakthrough by redirecting thoughts of failure to what went well and how that feels, and setting appropriate goals (like stop thinking you're faster than someone more than 2 feet taller than you!).So today he told me to run with him to the door to his daycare with no specific goal in mind. I touched the door first thinking nothing about it. He yells from a few feet away "WE BOTH WON". "Ummm no. I clearly won", I said stubbornly. "We weren't racing", he said. "I mean we both won because we love each other"Cue heart melting, and a bunch of hugs. He's completely right -- we all win. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2W0jF3V

Weekly - Things my kid said - to share all the things your kids say. - May 30, 2019

This is a weekly thread where you can share the things you're kid said to you that made you laugh/cry/go on a mad rampage.If you'd like to talk daily about things your kids say, feel free to visit /r/thingsmykidsaid via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/30TXakN

Discuss issue with daycare worker or go straight to the director?

Hello all!TLDR at the bottom.I have a 20 month old who has been in daycare since 3 months old. My child has never been overtly affectionate, is not a cuddler. I never force affection, I ask and allow her to say yes or no for hugs or kisses. I want her to have body autonomy.Every day I drop her off at daycare, I hang out for 5 or 10 minutes and give her a few hugs and a couple of kisses and she's settled for me to leave. She's never had a tantrum or been clingy when I leave. When I pick her up, she's happy to see me, I'll chat with the teacher for a few minutes, asking about their day and my child's day. Typically it's been only the director there at drop off because I had always done early drop off, but this summer I've been coming at normal time and so all the teachers are there already.Onto the issue at hand: We have a newish teacher who's been in the classroom for a few months. I notice that when we come in, the teacher immediately asks my child for a hug. My child usually turns away or backs up into me. The teacher will say things like, "Aww, you are going to make me cry makes sad face/ fake cries." Or "Fine, I won't share my snacks with you today since you don't want to hug me." She has also forced my daughter into hugs/cuddles. My daughter is clearly unhappy with this. Squirming, pushing away from the teacher. Not wanting affection. The teacher just holds her tighter so she can't get away.When I pick her up, the teacher will ask for a hug bye. My child does not want to and reaches for me. The teacher has grabbed her into a forced hug asking my daughter why she's acting that way.I notice that today when my child saw the teacher, she did not want me to leave her at daycare. Was adamant about me not leaving/taking her with me. Tried to leave with me. Kept running to me. Unusual behavior for my kiddo.Should I address this with the teacher or go straight to the director?disclaimer there are usually two teachers in the classroom, the "assistant teacher" isn't always the same person so that makes me feel like there's more accountability.TLDR; Newish teacher forcing affection onto my child. Child hates it and is now displaying "clingy" behavior towards me upon drop off and pick up when that teacher is there. Talk to teacher first or go straight to director about it? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2VWVS4N

I'm getting an abortion tomorrow

This story is like a stupid movie you start on Netflix but don't watch past minute 10 because you're smart enough to figure out what's about to happen to the dumbass protagonist.My husband and I have 8-year-old twins. For years, YEARS we tried for a third. I would have done anything to hold one baby in my arms. But I was infertile. For nearly a decade. And during the Clomid, IUIs, IVFs, I lost my hair and my sanity. I was sick and depressed and miserable. In the meantime, I started medical school and my two boys, difficult to begin with, became increasingly disruptive in school and got just ALL the diagnoses and IEPs, etc.Last year, we went for our last embryo. It was a girl, and the genetic screening said she was perfect. I probably shouldn't have tried for her, because our life was already insane, but it was my last one and I couldn't resist the idea of that perfect girl in my arms.The embryo didn't stick, and something beautiful happened. Of course I was sad, and we cried. But suddenly I was free. Free to stop continually preparing my body for some imaginary pregnancy, free to enjoy my boys as the only kids I'd ever have, free to make an aggressive plan to pay off my husband's law school and my medical loans. Free to fantasize about vacations without including the part about trying to smear sandy zinc oxide on uncooperative slugs. (Embarrassing: I got coolsculpting because my post-twins body was finally mine to fuck around with.)And then, one night, my husband and I randomly (and I am talking RANDOMLY, because we barely ever have sex due to conflicting sleep and work schedules) had sex and then watched Barry on HBO. Barry is a great show! You should watch it!And I was late for my period, and I took one of the 10,000 bulk pregnancy tests I had ordered on Amazon over the years, and it was super positive. I had been looking at bone-white pregnancy sticks for years and this one turned pink in 4 seconds. And I hyperventilated. And my husband was maybe happy? But also hyperventilating.And then I cried for a week and got on a waiting list for a local daycare and imagined my body trying to haul ass through residency and trying to work 80-hour weeks and see all three of my kids. And lose all the financial ground we'd worked so hard for. And care for two (very likely three!) special-needs children and my very sweet but also eccentric husband. And I imagined naming my baby and holding my baby and breastfeeding (I didn't get to do it the first time). And I cried and cried and talked to my family and cried.So I'm getting an abortion tomorrow. And if I had a million dollars, I wouldn't. If I had excellent schools that were more supportive of special needs, I wouldn't. If I had more time with the family I already have, I wouldn't. If residency was a normal job with humane hours, I wouldn't. If my mom lived next door, I wouldn't. But I am. There's just too much to fight through, and I'm 37, and I'm tired, and I want to be kind to myself and give everything I have to my patients and my family. So that's why I, an adult, moronic woman with a bonkers story, am getting an abortion tomorrow. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EJpk8y

7 year old constantly blames her naughty behaviour on other people. Help!

Hey parents, I'm at a real loss with how I can help/parent my daughter in regards to her acknowledging her own behaviour. She is going through a period of defiance. When asked to do something she doesn't listen, encourages her 4 yr old brother not to listen as well, she has been doing things she knows is wrong (attempting to unlock my phone when she knows it's not allowed) and a lot of 'your not the boss of me' comments along the way.When I speak with her and ask her why she is doing those things, ask if there is anything wrong etc. She always comes back with a blame on someone else.Tonight's example being she blamed her dad because 'he moves his hand away when I try and high five him and I don't like it' for the reason she didn't listen and continued to run up the hallway instead of brushing her teeth.It's extremely frustrating and I just don't know how to proceed. I want her to be more aware of her actions and understand that her behaviour is only determined by herself and not others. I've obviously said this to her multiple times but it just doesn't seem to be sinking in.Any tips or tricks? Is this a phase she will grow out of or something that really needs addressing. This parenting thing is hard sometimes and I really don't want to fuck it up.Thanks! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2JOK3fh

Loser?

My man is forty years old. We’ve been together for a year. I just found out his mom does his laundry. He says she likes to do it. I’m so turned off. Am I being harsh? Or is this serious loser behavior? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2WvbvVE

Still not happy with her name.

My husband and I went back and forth on a name for our daughter. We wound up going with how he wanted it, but I STILL think we should have used her middle name as her first name.I brought this up to my husband and he actually agreed with me. I tend to call her First-middle name frequently (most of the time) through the day, which she responds to. Would we be crazy to switch over to calling her by her middle name? She’s a year old now and it just really kills me that we named her like we did.Thoughts? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2We8tWk

A moment of quiet

We jokingly call our son a devil tornado - he's your typical toddler, all over the place. Frickin sweet and adorable and then throwing hamburger half way across the table. Man I love this kid. Sleep's been a struggle though recently and bedtime has been inclusive of book, rock, sleep, cry, rock, sleep; not ideal. Tonight though it was a straight forward rock then sleep, and he stayed asleep! Then, as he lay sleeping, I got precious quiet moments! The hubs was out of the house for an hour and I read and sipped coffee on our deck (with the monitor of course) while deer grazed in our back yard. Glorious I tell you; so much so I had to share! Happy parenting! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2EG52Nq

Up all night with baby who wont sleep well + Having to Work, wife wont help.

Hey All​First I am posting from a position of complete exhaustion....​Since my wife stopped breast feeding a few months ago, she has not once helped me put the baby to bed or gotten up once at night to deal with him if he is fussing. This would not really be a huge issue, I am not that much of a sleeper, however he wakes up almost every single hour still..... at one year old. The excuse is always "I can't get him to sleep, only you can". However she just gives up in frustration after a few min, when it took me weeks and weeks just to get him to sleep in his bed AT ALL. Right now our son will not fall asleep without constant patting on the back..... I realize that's my fault for doing it because at the time it was all I could do to get him to sleep. We used to co-sleep with the baby, but when he stopped breast feeding I made a stand that our son should be in his OWN bed, that was quite an argument. She is completely resistant to any sleep training of any kind, if I try she gets really angry.​I just want to get him to be able to fall asleep by himself, which he has never done, since the day he was born, until now at 1 years of age. Maybe I could get some rest.... but I am not allowed, because "he is different", "he is scared", "I can't listen to him cry it breaks my heart you can't understand because your not a mother". The last one hurts because it feels like she thinks his crying doesn't have any affect on me..... it rips me apart inside but what else can I do? She wont do anything. The few times she has tried to help..... I don't know what to say, our son will cry for hours after that because she just wont do anything the way I have been doing it. When he cries she will pick him up and marching him around the room, just before bed she will do loud and bouncy games with him, making him fully awake etc. When I complain she just says that I don't know what I am talking about then refuses to help.​I am now 2 months in without a single night of more than 2 hours sleep, quite a few with 0, I can feel it in my body, my head is throbbing 24/7 with a headache that just wont go away anymore and I am ALWAYS sick. I work from home, and my wife is always respectful of my time working and will for the most part leave me to it, but it has gotten to the point where I cannot continue to do my job properly, I can't even get up in the mornings anymore to talk to clients. It has gotten to the point that even if the baby does sleep for more than an hour I can not sleep because my mind is always waiting for that cry, mainly because if I don't wake up fast enough a. he wont go to sleep without a huge fight, and b. my wife becomes annoyed.​This is my day: Wife takes son about 7-8, I try to sleep, get up at 10 and walk the dog, eat, start work maybe half 10, hour and a half late, work till about 1, wife will usually have something to eat ready for me, back to work about 2 usually after playing with son for a bit, Work till 7pm with interruptions here and there, immediately start looking after son again, no break, my wife may cook, or I may cook, then getting close to 8 I shower our son, about half 8 I put him to bed, and the cycle starts again, 7 days a week.​I don't know how to talk to my wife about this. She goes to be at 10, and wakes up with our son about 7-8ish, well, in theory, on that last wake up at that time and I bring him to her she usually just says "Make him sleep again before giving him to me". When she does take him and I think I will get some sleep, nope, she will go down, feed him, then put him on the floor of the room to play while she reads a book, keeping me awake, play really loud children music down stairs keeping me awake, or just keep coming in asking me things etc etc etc.​Weekends come around, of course, each weekend I hope for a lay in, but no, just like this weekend, shes already organized us to take our son swimming with another parent..... at 10am, an hours drive away. Or she wants to go shopping.​Thing is, shes really loving, she plays with our son and loves him to bits, she jokes around and is playful with myself as well, its just like shes completely blind to the stuff I am doing, every discussion leads to disbelief in her eyes, that I am not really getting up 8-12 times a night to pat him back to sleep, she seems to think I spend the night sound asleep beside her..... I am sick of hearing "I'm tired too" when shes had a solid 8 hours sleep. If I try to take a nap she complains that I could be helping her look after our son...... while she reads a book on her phone.....​I now have to refuse to take her places because I am too tired to drive and am a risk of falling asleep behind the wheel, I can't work properly and keep costing my company significant amounts of money in sales.... and physically I am just sick, literally really sick. How can I get this across to her? If not that how can I help my son sleep better?​I love my wife to bits but I am becoming so angry all the time..... and she looks so shocked and heartbroken when I snap from time to time. Anything I do for our son is wrong, it must be her way, always, without fail.​Shes showing no signs of depression or anything like that that I can see......... shes fairly happy and upbeat throughout the day.....​​Sorry for this disjointed mess of a post..... I just don't know what to do. I don't know where else to go or who else to ask...... my parents live close by but they are really, really opinionated, like the exact time your blinds should be open in the morning opinionated, and my wife does not like them being involved because of that. Sorry if this post is in the wrong place..... via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2I802Su

Discipline for a 4 year old. What is working for you?

My heart hurts every time I have to get stern with my little guy.Usually it’s me (father) stepping in when mom has asked our son to stop doing something more than a few times. Tonight he flushed his toothbrush down the toilet for the 3rd time and thought it was hilarious. Have to admit, I can see why it is indeed comical, however he knows it’s wrong. I sent him to bed with no cartoons or stories (our nightly ritual) and it crushed his little heart. He wailed in his crib for about 20 mins before I couldn’t take it any more and pulled him out. I did let him watch a single cartoon in the living room but held firm on not letting him watch on his tablet right before bed.I grew up in a strict, spanking family and I have to say it seemed to work well looking back. Before I did something that might end up with a swat to my butt, I thought about it and 9/10 times decided against it. I hate the way he looks at me when I get in the middle of an argument between he and mom, but I know it’s needed. Mom is really soft hearted and is against spanking. I just want to be consistent with him and a small part of me wants him to give that same ‘look’ to mom when he gets in trouble. I don’t want to always be the bad guy, which these days it seems I’m the only one. The kid is amazingly smart so it seems there is a discussion in his head whether the punishment fits the act right before he does something. However I don’t know how to take advantage of it.There is no consistency between mom and I, thus it sparked a large argument between us tonight. I have been asking for consistency since day one and Mom likes to give in every time. Not sure where to go from here because I would default to a single spanking per event whereas mom would say it’s fine he’s a baby. Let’s be clear here, a spanking to me is a single solid swat right on his butt, that’s it.What is or isn’t working for you, the parent of a 3.5-4yr old? Thoughts? via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2XfaPAy

Teaching kids financial responsibility

So I’m curious how you guys go about teaching your kids how to handle money.My son is only a year old but I have had issues with this a long time, my parents did before me as well, and I really want to save him the trouble if at all possible and I’m trying to plan out with my wife how to do it.I’ve listened to a lot of different podcasts and read articles talking about it and I like this idea...Starting at 5, start giving them an allowance and match it 1;1 in a separate account he can have at 18.Kindergarten to 5th grade: $5 a week 5th grade to freshman: $10 a week Till 16: $20 a week 16-18/out of college: $50 and pays a % of his insurance.When he sees something he wants, explain how much money he has and how much he’ll have left after getting whatever and if he doesnt have enough, explain if he waits a few weeks he can save up for it.At age 12 or so, introduce investments and offer to match whatever he invests 1:1.When turn 16, if he wants a car.. offer to match whatever he puts towards one.My wife thinks this is a little harsh and because he’s our only child, she has a hard time thinking about him being an adult one of these days. It’s not like he has to pay for everything, I mean he’s still our child and I would never let him go without, I’m just trying to figure out a way to teach him to be smart with his money so he doesn’t end up like so many people do these days.Thanks! via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/30W9m4L

So happy it almost made me tear up

Monday we took my girlfriend's toddler out for ice cream and to the park to play. I've been working on trying to develop a good relationship with her because she and her mother are both so important to me. When we dropped her off she started to walk away and when I asked her if I could have a hug goodbye, she smiled and ran back to me and hugged me. It made me so happy! And I was also told she mentioned me about a dozen times yesterday. I'm just so glad that not only is she opening up to me when I'm around, but she even misses me when I'm not. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2WbU0Kt

Elephant and Piggie is the best children’s book: change my mind

I think it’s adorable; the friendship between this elephant and the pig is so cute, and I like the language they use. It makes reading to my son very fun, because I love doing voices and being dramatic, and it makes him more engaged in the story.My favorite elephant and piggie book is “ We’re in a book” ( no surprise) because THEY LITERALLY REALIZE THEY ARE IN A BOOK, and the moral of the story is great for children.What other children’s books are out there with this level of engagement from both parties? ( I say both because I actually hate reading out loud; it takes away the imagery in my head and I become more concerned at how terrible my voice is lol) via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2WeYxvG

My son keeps using my debit card like it's his...

So this is the second time my son has done this to me and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. The first time he swore up and down that it was his sister and that she probably didn't even realize what she's doing and somehow spent roughly $300 on games and whatnot. This time it's clear that what he said did not happen and he is doing this on purpose. He created a second Amazon account, used another one of my cards and spent about $115 on Xbox games and gift-cards. Amazon said that they cannot refund it because it's all digital purchases and there's nothing to physically return. Short of calling the police and having my 14 year old arrested I'm honestly at a loss. Is there some other way to show him that it's not okay to do this? I'm a single mother with three kids and we do fairly well but at the same time I can't afford to let him keep doing this. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2I3Y7ym