Bullying issue.

My son (11, 6th grade) has been experiencing being bullied by 2 girls and another boy. One girl is mainly the one who acts while the other two just kind of instigate. This past week, they have been waiting by his locker and try to either shove him in it or every time he tried to open it to get his things to come home they slam it shut on him. She tries and has succeeded once in taking his backpack which contains his school issued laptop and cell phone and jumping on it. Luckily the one time she did it nothing was damaged. I emailed the principal and school board the situation and he responded with a short 2 sentence response of, "they have been dealt with." But today being the next day they were there waiting at his locker AGAIN! My son is a great kid. He treats everyone the same, he doesn't make fun of anyone, he likes school, gets good grades, in advanced classes. He is also terrified to get in trouble so he is timid about sticking up for himself, even though we've told him if they beat up on you and you've told them to stop than fight back. It looks like I will have to go talk to the principal or whoever myself since at this point I'm just livid! How do I tell my son to fight back against a girl? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GGmOR1

Just me out here

I'm just a 21 year old kid taking care of my baby by myself. Basically no support system whatsoever. No government help. Nothing. Shit sucks. She's 2 going to be three this year. I feel like giving up some days. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Oxwh1J

My daughter wants a boy to come to her sleepover

She's 14F and we have these sleepovers often, always been girl only. This time she wants to invite a boy (14M) from school, she has talked about this boys since she was like 7 years old, my husband suggested that maybe no boys she has a crush on but it's like she has a crush on Evey teenage male in our city and of course Shawn Mendes. She really wants him to stay over and I don't know, when I called the boys dad he said he wasn't a fan of the idea but he trusts his son and it's my call. I still want to makeup some sort of excuse. She's put of bunch of snacks on a list for the sleepover and I noticed she dislikes pretty much everything on the list so I asked why she wanted the stuff and her response was “Aaron's coming over”.Okay this next part was snooping. I never like to invade her privacy like that and I felt bad doing it but I did look at her phone only for a second and the first text I read was that she planned to “finally kiss him”Should I let him come over? And if not what excuse should I use? My husband is zero help, too busy planning his super bowl trip via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RMqebq

When and how do I tell my kid the truth about his dad

My eldest son’s has never asked why I’m not with his dad. But I over heard his friend ask “why” he’s got two dads, he responded the he doesn’t know. I know one day I’ll have to tell the truth but how? I don’t want to hurt or confuse him, I don’t want to break his trust and regardless of all his father has done to me - facts are facts but I don’t want to come across like I’m throwing his father under the busI left his dad when my son was roughly 7months old. The relationship started when I was 17 ended when I was 21. He was highly abusive and I didn’t know how to get out (he controlled me, isolated me, had guns pointed at me, destroyed my belongings, attacked my workmates, verbal, emotional, physical abuse - I was hospitalised multiple times, fractures, breaks, concussions,stitches and more) he went to jail for one of the attacks, he got wind I was trying to leave and got me while I was walking home from work. I kind member of the public called the cops. Between that event and before he had court I fell pregnant.He made a big act to tick all the boxes to get help, he was released less than a month before the birth. At the birth he let it show he hadn’t changed, just spun out at the doctors and midwifes. There were a number of complications which meant I had to go into theatre, he didn’t come. My son was not well so We stayed in hospital for over 3 weeks after. He came and went. And once we were able to come home I found out the job he had been going to didn’t exist and was just an excuse to not be around. The abuse started again.Son still unwell and had two surgeries before 3months old.Flash forward roughly 7months, I’m doing all the parenting while he’s just bumming around. One night I get my son to bed, make myself something to eat and the father starts yelling at me to come to him. I came but not as promptly as he wished. He attempted to stab me with a pair of scissors, I avoided it. He went to the kitchen to get a knife, I board myself in the room with my son and call the cops. Cops arrive and he takes off.This was the end. I was done. Police helped me organise full custody of my son and a protection order the next day. They found the father arrested him, pressed charges. I finally admit to my parents the truth and they take us in open arms. I said the father could have the house, the police organised for him to not be there while I pick up my stuff (I let him have everything, a houseful which was all brought by money I earned, all I took was my clothes, my sons crib, toys and clothes)He turned up while I was collecting and started smashing everything before attacking me. Tackling me pinning me down and strangling me. My mum has to try remove him off me while getting hurt during all this. He takes off. Cops come again. Sent me to hospital. Another charge added for his court date.today My son is 9, healthy and wonderful. He knows his father and that side of his family. I am married to a wonderful man who my son calls dad and we have another son too. The two boys are best mates. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/36QjPjz

My son and his wife had their twins when they were 16 - his wife was disowned

My son is now 24. His boys are 9. My daughter in law got pregnant when she was 16. I still remember the day they told me like yesterday. I fainted at the news. And when I came around again and processed it, it was just pure anger and I let my son know for sure!My daughter in law received a lot more than anger from her family. They kicked her out and disowned her. It was horrible and heartbreaking. She cried a lot. She was so young and she was so scared. We took her in and she lived with us during the pregnancy and the first fee years of the boys' lives. Her family is very conservative and religious and they said she brought great shame on them. They also didn't like the fact my son is black and she is white. They will never admit that but it was evident.The first few years of the lives of my grandsons was difficult. The house was at full capacity and it wasn't easy. But both my son and his wife worked so hard and eventually managed to get their own place 6 years ago. They got married last year. They are still madly in love. I am so proud of everything both of them have achieved. They are amazing parents. Their kids adore them.My DIL's mother contacted me the other day through Facebook, saying how apologetic she was for everything that happened. She broke up with her husband and she claimed it was him who wanted to disown their daughter. She just went with it because he had the ascendency in her marriage. She asked my forgiveness and told me to speak to my DIL about it, as she won't return her calls. She claims that she wants to be in the lives of her grandchildren.I don't really know what to make of it to be honest. When they disowned her I was shocked. I mean I was mad at my son and it took a while for that anger to abate, but I could never abandon him in his greatest time of need.How do you think I should respond to her? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3b1B0lK

My Favorite Part of the Day, According to My 4 y/o

After my second was born and I insisted on taking my FMLA leave at my school (I was a music teacher), my boss (who everyone hated) refused to renew my teaching contract for the following year. I wasn’t entirely surprised; he had refused to talk with me for months about taking the leave. So I became a de-facto stay at home dad of two (a now almost 2 y/o and just turned 4 y/o) and have been ever since. The days are long. The messes that need cleaning up are near constant. I also run the household, do all errands, shopping, cleaning, etc. I try my best to come up with fun/educational activities for my kids, especially my 4 y/o who requires more, so today we worked on handwriting letters and went to the park and blew bubbles and played soccer and then we baked snickerdoodle brownies. I am always pretty much exhausted. I always hope I am doing a good enough job. My wife has a very stressful job with a ton of responsibilities and is always exhausted too.Each night before my 4 y/o goes to sleep, I ask her about her day, we recap the day, and I ask what her favorite part of the day was. Today she said; “My favorite part of the day was spending time with you.” I pretty much cried, it was so beautiful. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2UeEj31

Daughter doesn’t think she’s going to make it in life

HS senior doesn’t think she’ll make it in life, it breaks my heart to see her this sad. She has a hard time learning concepts and comprehending, instead she will just remember certain words or phrases to a question. She’s a straight A student, but by only remembering answers or objective test/quizzes. If you handed her a piece paper with instructions about a topic she wouldn’t be able to know how to do it without somebody actually going over it step by step. She didn’t make it very far on her SAT and ACT and scored lower than a 50%. She came to terms about her future, and was really upset and told me she was never going to be successful and would probably just be working a crappy retail job. Of course I don’t want that for her, she used to have very big dreams of going to a university and a have degree in the medical field, but she does not see that anymore. I don’t know if it just her being dramatic, I don’t want to sugar coat thing, but I also don’t want her dreams to be crushed. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Sb3cd4

My 4 year old is calling himself stupid and hitting himself when he's upset

Im not sure this is where to post this, if not just let me know. I have a four year old who keeps hitting himself and saying things like "I'm stupid" "im the stupidest person in the world" and hitting himself. He goes to daycare, and I'm thinking that he saw someone else do that and get attention for it. I don't know how to curb the behavior. I tried ignoring it but it's gone on for a few weeks. Any advice? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/36LGA8v

Help with a super picky 6yo in a new environment!

My partner and I have custody of his 6 year old son every other week. We have been together over a year now, and are planning on moving in together next month. His son and I get along really well, he’s quite attached to me.Anyways, SS is an insanely picky eater. He will eat peanut butter sandwiches (white bread only), noodles with butter (just butter, and only certain kinds of noodles), apples (only if they’re crisp), cucumbers, waffles (plain), Cheerios, and milk. That’s pretty much it. He used to eat a few other things, but without rhyme or reason has completely refused previously preferred foods over the last couple months. It’s getting worse and worse - last week there was ONE SPEC of black pepper in his noodles, and so he cried and completely refused to eat them. We’ve taken him to restaurants, let him choose what he wants - but when it comes, he refuses it and pouts the whole time.We’ve tried letting him just refuse meals and go hungry - but he’s gone two days without a single bite, and would have kept going, too. We’ve tried letting him grocery shop with us, but he just wants the usual foods. Suggesting other foods makes him whine and cry.The biggest problems are that we can’t get him to eat out anywhere (restaurants, friends/families houses, etc) without a fight, but also that he’s actually getting MORE picky as he gets older, and I’m worried he’s going to run out of options for food.Since we will be moving next month, we’ve agreed that it’s time to try to address this. We want to give him some time to adjust to a new house first, but we are hoping to give him a heads up about what sort of rules are going to change.So my question is: HOW DO WE GO ABOUT THIS?! What’s worked for those of you with picky children?? I’ve done so much reading lately, and there’s so many different ideas from people. I need some suggestions! Starting right from how firm to be (do you let your kid refuse their meals? Give options? Make them wait before giving them preferred foods?) and how to slowly start introducing food (dinners are going to be served as a family at the table with no TV/music, no exceptions). Any suggestions for food to try?? Send help!! TIA via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GUks1n

I thought motherhood is suppose to be enjoyable

But instead, i just want to dissapear most of the time. Its like im living the groundhog day. At the end of the day i feel like someone has been beating me all day long. Always doing the same shit over and over, vigorously tracking his eat, sleep, shit... I know that everyone will say i should have time for myself but one day is just not enough. Im so sleep deprived, im on the verge of becoming depressed. And he is only 7 months. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/37M4SjP

Phases to Crying Sounds in Public

Hear crying and freak out that your kid is making the noise/annoying others.Immediate sense of relief when you realize it is someone else’s kidYour heart drops as your kid also begins to cry...Anyone else out there experience this too? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/37MK1gu

Just found out our kid is kind of awful

I'm going to admit I'm a total snoop. Whenever our middle schooler is acting up or in a funk I check her messages to see if I can figure out why. This is a double edged sword, though, because while I do often spot the problem, I can't address it directly because I don't want to reveal I was snooping. This mostly comes in the form of seeing problems where I'd like to support the kid, but this time is different. I always knew she spoke differently with her friends, more cursing, more boisterousness, more bravado. But this is the first time I've seen her mean side.She recently had a falling out with her best friend of 9 years. The reason she gave is that this other girl in school lied to the friend that our kid was spreading rumors about her. This is gossip that was actually stated as fact to us by our kid in the past. The best friend is "stuck up". The best friend is "too rich", etc. So we sort of though, maybe she *is* actually spreading these things. Because the breakup has been crashing our kid's mood I decided some text snooping was in order. What I found was another girl asking ours to stop telling people her questions are dumb in class. Our kid confirmed she was telling people this and told the girl she was seeking attention and wasting people's time. This all confirmed to us that our kid is, in fact, a mean gossip and, let's face it, a bully.Let me clarify some things. In front of us our kid is the kindest, most ethical person around. She has real empathy. When hearing moral problems she's usually spot on in what's right and what's wrong. The media she consumes shows girls and women as friends, not petty enemies. And, most important, when the kid tells us this gossip about other kids at school we defend the other kids. We never agree that this person is awful, or that person is dumb. In fact, a few weeks ago she told us about this very kid in class who was asking "dumb questions" and we told her everyone learns differently and at a different rate so you can't judge. We're doing everything we can to build a kind person, but it seems to have failed.So the question is, how do we fix this without revealing we know who she's fighting with and why? She's about to enter high school and with this attitude she will have a dead social life on arrival. If her friends of 9 years have had enough, why would new people want to deal with it? She's lost this friend and she won't admit it's her fault. We want her to be a kind person. And, please, no answers regarding gender reductiveness. Girls aren't "just this way". I know I wasn't, nor were any of the girls I grew up with. This has to stop. Thanks! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OhU05M

Every time I use my gym childcare my toddler gets sick

One of the reasons why I work from home is to keep my babies (1 and 2) well. My husband has a weakened immune system so we are both extremely cautious about illness.Literally every time I attempt to use the child care at my gym, one or both babies get sick (colds, stomach bugs). The facility is clean, I’ve spent a fair amount of time in there observing and nothing gross is happening- except that there’s always at least one kid with a cough or runny nose. The rules state you can’t bring kids who “show visible signs of illness” which is clearly pretty vague and doesn’t seem to be enforced at all.I casually brought the issue up (with the front desk attendant when she said she hadn’t seen me in awhile) and she just reiterated that they clean the nursery multiple times throughout the day.Complicating matters further, my 2 year old LOVES going to the child watch and asks about it daily. I hate telling her no and I would love to workout during the day but I’m so tired of the illness and then having to limit her interactions with dad.Does anyone have any advice? I’m really at a loss trying to navigate this and would appreciate suggestions! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RJ37yy

Re-defining a Grandmother's role from "Mother", back to Grandma, after my son's real Mother's successful road to sobriety

Quick tl;dr on my situation. Looking for articles and/or personal experience.My 3 year old son has been with me almost exclusively since he was 18 months because his Mother has struggled with sobriety and been away at treatment centers. Mother has been doing great the last 6 months and currently lives with her parents.My son has a great relationship with his Mother and Grandma, but the Grandma has had to assume the "mother" role for the last 18 months which was a big help. It's a known issue that the Grandma has been a helicopter parent while raising my son's Mother, and now, that parenting style is happening with my son. Loose boundaries, inconsistent rules/discipline, unacceptable public behavior, indirect (and sometimes direct) reward for bad behavior, rescuing, etc. That said, Grandma is a wonderful person with the best intentions, but the rescuing, enablement, "running the show", and unknowingly undermining the Mother needs to change. Luckily, the Mother also finally see's what I'm talking about and agrees.The problem that is obvious to me and my son's Mother is; now that she has a decent handle of her sobriety, the "mother" role needs to transition away from Grandma. Generally speaking, the Grandma needs to get on board with what we, the parents, allow.Even though the Mother and I are divorced, we get along very well and there's possibility of pulling the family back together. I also have a great relationship with the Grandparents and I've always been able to speak freely in the past with them.Ultimately, this is the Mother's responsibility to fix and communicate with the Grandma. I'm happy to be as involved as they will allow, but I mostly plan on being in the corner, encouraging the Mother and being prepared if she needs me.Do any of you brilliant minds have any articles or experience here? I've already read all the boring and generic "Grandparents who have problems with boundaries" and "How to deal with an interfering grandparent" articles.I'm just looking for articles or experience that is more specific. Thank you! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/38Qn0cy

Chapter books for 5 yr old boy?

Hey everyone,I have an almost 5 year old boy and I’m needing some help with finding books for him. He’s too old for a lot of the kids books we, but he’s still not fully ready for the magic tree house type books.We’ve read the mercy Watson series, but I’m just not sure what other series there are. My son’s interests are all over the place, so I’m open to everything! If anyone could offer up some suggestions, that would be great!Thank you via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/37O0tgC

Why do I sometimes not 'feel' love for my son?

Hey everyone, I am a dad to a beautiful boy (aged one). I have a history of anxiety and being way too over-analytical but I can usually keep things under reasonable control. But I always question myself.Lately, and even before this, I find myself asking "do I love my child enough?" The reason I think this is because sometimes if I look at him and don't feel that sense of 'warm fuzzy love' then it gets me really down. Then questioning my feelings for him makes me really guilty, because I should not ever think this about my son.I have done this same thing in other aspects of my life, like relationships, and it is very frustrating. Most of the time I feel so good about him and be the best dad I can be. But every now and then it's like this thing that grips me and I struggle to shake off the guilt of 'why don't I FEEL love?'I would do anything and everything for him and I have since the day he was born. Like all parents, there are times when I wish he'd maybe not wake up so much in the middle of the night or stay still when getting his nappy changed, but that's just parenting. Am I idealising what 'love' is? Am I a bad daddy? When I get down over this, I struggle to 'feel'. But when I am fine, then it's all good.Maybe I am placing too much pressure on myself, and just continue looking after him as I always do. That's the advice of my partner (his mum), who says she sees every day how great I am with him.But I can't help but beat myself up and it affects my sleep because I can't relax. Please does anyone have advice? It'd be greatly appreciated during this tough time. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/390oEZ5

Do you let your kids eat in the car?

I can't stand it. They create way too much mess and never bring in their rubbish or left over foods. I have put a stop to it if I am driving but my partner still lets them. And she is never on their case about bringing their rubbish in.What can I do? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GJbOCt

Is relaxed day, they said.

So, today my kid wakes up and remembers is relaxed day at school. He is in 5th grade and just getting used to the changes of elementary to middle school.Well, he changed into a pajama and I stared getting nervous, since less kids do that in school now so I suggest shorts or sweatpants but he is set in pjs for the day. I managed to convince him to use tennis shoes intead of sandals since it will be safe.Well we get to the school line to drop him off and he just said, "I screwed up" and I started to silently panic. We didn't see anyone in pj, I ask him if he wanted to change and he said "Nah, may be is just for 5th graders" -I'm crying inside- So I just send my Kid and cheered for him to be relaxed and feel like at home.I just wanted to take him back home for a change but he just bites the bullet and went inside. Poor kid, I hope he doesn't let the pj day get to him and enjoy his day. So now until 4 I'll be worried about him. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2tlKxmM

MIL ruined my engagement, pregnancy, labor, and first weeks of having a baby.

Hi y’all, posting on here to vent and hopefully get some advice. I met my husband in our sophomore year of college, I was an international student and he was from the South attending college out of state. He’s black (African-American) and I’m biracial (raised by Caribbean mother in Europe, never been in touch with father). Prior to starting college, I was not planning on staying in the U.S. after graduating, because I wanted to return home with my family. I fell in love and ended up having to make the difficult decision of giving everything up back home to be with the love of my life or go home to be with and support my family but miss out on truly the best man I’ve ever met.We got married in 2018 after I got my Master’s and we bought a house in the South, where he is originally from. However, prior to moving to the South, I had only been with his family on isolated occasions (i.e, every time I would fly from out-of-state to visit them, which was twice for Christmas and twice for 4th of July) because we had a LDR. They were always fond of me during these visits but since becoming his wife, things have been different.Family is extremely important to me, especially considering that I left all my family and friends behind to be with my husband. He comes from quite a traditional household, his parents have also been together since college, have five children together (he’s the eldest), and I wasn’t allowed to sleep in his guest suite at their house before we were married. From the beginning, I’ve tried to be the “perfect” wife in terms of his family’s expectations (I’ve been trying to learn to make certain Southern soul food dishes so I can make a contribution to cookouts, we jumped the family heirloom broom at our wedding, going to church every Sunday, etc.). These are all things that I wanted to do because I want to be respectful of their culture. However, especially since moving close to his family, spending more time with them, being his wife, and having our first child, it seems that I always fall short of their expectations.We started trying for a baby after getting settled into our new house and I think this is when the real problems started to surface. I’ll list them briefly below to keep this story somewhat short:We kept the pregnancy to ourselves until I was sixteen weeks pregnant. My husband describes his mom as “nosey” and when we got engaged during a vacation, we FaceTimed her after and she ended up telling the entire family + putting it on FaceBook before we had a chance to. My grandmother found out I was engaged through FaceBook. We wanted to wait with announcing the pregnancy until 4th of July because my closest family would be there and we wanted them to join in this special moment because they will be missing out on all the others. We took his parents and my mom separately right (minutes) before telling the rest in a toast. MIL was very upset with this, asking us “how we could keep this a secret” for so long and that “this is not normal around here.” My husband told her it was a mutual decision but still it felt like I got the full blame. I understood why she would be hurt and apologized for that.We decided that we wanted to try a home birth with a doula and otherwise go to a birthing center in a hospital. MIL did not understand why we would do this and told my husband “I bet this was her idea”. He explained why we decided on this option, research, that he also read books on it, but she did not agree. Then she asked if she could be there for the birth (I felt at this point she was seeking out a point for further confrontation).She’s criticized basically every plan we have of raising our child, between us wanting to raise our child bilingual, looking into Montessori education, trying to avoid physical punishment, etc.Come the day of birth, MIL is making statements such as “shoulda gone to the hospital” while I was in tears of the pain. Proceeded to spend the night with us that night after the baby was born and was extremely belligerent. I felt robbed from what should have been the most beautiful moment of my life.My MIL came to our house every day for the first fourteen days, arriving most days when she dropped her kids of at school and leaving when she had to pick them up again. I was tired, peeing hurt, and now also had to spend my first days post-labor worrying about acting in a way that was deemed good enough for my MIL. Day 15, my own mother had to fly back home. This was the only time she would have with her grandchild before she wouldn’t see her again for at least another seven months. We requested MIL not to come this day for aforementioned reason. I come downstairs from a shower and see my MIL sitting on my couch because (to baby) “X was missing nana, right?” These were the last four hours I and my child had with my mother and my husband himself had left to have us enjoy that last time together. I called him upset and he came back and send his mother home. She then proceeded to call various family members (his grandparents, his aunt, his little sister) that I am selfish, want to keep my child and husband to myself, criticizing my parenting, etc.His family organized a New Year’s gathering/family reunion last week to get the entire family together (about 70 people attended). Baby had not had her injections yet and it’s flu season, so the doctor adviced me to preferably not bring her to an event like that OR make sure I was not allowing her to be passed around. I was carrying her close to me the entire party, much to the disdain of MIL (and other family members who thanks to her, think I am selfish). I go upstairs to breastfeed the baby and my MIL gathers three other female family members to get “their chance to hold the baby.” I was already nervous about breastfeeding because it took a while for the baby to latch sometimes. Having four women look at my exposed and hurting breast only made this worse and my MIL said “poor doll can’t even feed her child”. This hurt me and I replied: “Unless you have breastmilk to feed my daughter or actual constructive advice to give, please leave the room.” She left and called me a “conceited light-skin” in front of the entire fam, then basically asked my husband if I could go home and leave the baby there since the baby had just been fed. Husband and I left with baby. His parents visited for the first time yesterday after knocking on the door for 20 minutes while I was trying to take a nap after being up all night with a baby with reflux. I stayed upstairs and send my husband downstairs with the baby. Apparently, his mom was talking to the baby saying things like “mommy doesn’t want you to see me” and “has mommy been taking good care of you?” She then asked my husband if the baby could stay with them today (he said he’d have to discuss it with me first) and she barged into my bedroom while I was taking a nap to ask me directly. I told her that I think the baby wasn’t feeling well and too young to spend the night elsewhere (I wouldn’t let her stay with my own mother, either. Hell, I wouldn’t let her stay with Mother Theresa) and that we could try it in a couple of months. She was pissed, saying she already has done this five times, I don’t come from a good family, and said “X is probably better off spending the night with us anyways, you seem a little out of it.” I then asked her “could you pass me X, please” and she turned around and walked downstairs with X. This was the final straw. I took the baby out of her arms and said “when you come in MY house to see MY child you respect MY rules, just as I did when I came to YOUR house to see YOUR child. If you can’t live with that, there’s the door.” She looked at my husband, he said nothing, and she walked out. Husband is now upset with me for being impolite after I waited an entire pregnancy and the first four weeks of having this child (while navigating hormones, pain, and isolation of being without family and friends) for him to stand up against his family blatantly direspecting his wife.Quite frankly, I’m done. I feel like I’ve spend the past year jumping through hoops to be good enough for his family and still fell short. I’ve crossed my own boundaries time after time (out of love and willingly) to get along with them but I feel like everything I do is wrong. All the boundaries I have set pertaining to my household, marriage, and child have not been respected, yet I am now the disrespectful, conceited person. I feel like I’m a bad wife, a bad mother, and a bad daughter for leaving my family back home.Anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? TIA for anybody who actually read all this, I really appreciate it! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/37Mxgmb

To share or not to share bedrooms

Hi, my son will be 2y3months when our daughter is born. I plan to have the daughter in our room for the first few months and in another room until she sleeps through the night. My question is if we should just take the current guest room and make it her room and put all that furniture in storage or plan to move the kids together once baby consistently sleeps through the night. We do have a comfortable futon Setup in our office space but that would mean the office does double duty. Not the end of the world but I'm really going back and forth here on what to do.Parents who have had kids room together as a toddler and baby, please share your experiences and if you would do it again?What were the befits, and drawbacks? What do I need to consider and prepare for? Thank you in advance! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RIkqQ8

How to not hamper a bright kid

Hi all. I’m after advice from anyone, but early educators’ input particularly welcome.I have a nearly 3 yr old daughter who is quite bright. Not, like calculus/translating Rosetta Stone level or anything, but she counts to 100, backward from 20, and can read simple words like dog, cat, bus etc.Anyhow, her latest thing is those wipe-clean ‘learn to write’ books. But of course, she doesn’t want to do the boring ones where you learn to write letters properly. She just wants to write words. And, of course, the way she makes the letters is not right. She might start at the bottom, or on the right.Now, I’m not one for hothousing, I think kids should be kids. But equally I don’t want her to learn habits that might be hard to get rid of at school. Should I be correcting her? Or can I just let her get on with it? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OgxMkJ

Birthday Party Burn-out!

My 8yr old has been invited to 6 birthday parties in the last 2 months! I’m happy that he has a lot of friends but it’s getting expensive to buy so many gifts. Do you have any limits as to how many you let your kids go to? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OhOjEK

I need help with a newborn and being a new single Dad under high stress

I'm going to rant a bit because I don't have anyone to really talk to at this point.I recently flew out to Hawaii to be with my partner I love for the birth of our son. She's in the military and it's both our first child. I live in Colorado and our plans were for her and our son to move to Colorado once she gets out of the military later this year.My son is 11 days old now. Three days ago my partner was hospitalized for postpartum psychosis. I visited her tonight and she is worse. All of this was a complete shock as she used to be just as calm and collected as I am. The reality of her condition hit me tonight after I visited her and it's probably 1 of 6 times I've cried as an adult. She is no longer 'behind the wheel'. I have a lot to figure out legally in order to get him back home to Colorado with me but the doctors and hospital staff are helping me out with it. I am on the birth certificate.Back in Colorado I typically work away from home but my mother will be moving in to assist. My request from this group is that I need quick pointers to get through these four weeks until I'm able to fly back with him. He was born premature but he is a good (too good) eater and feisty. Born 6.5 lbs.I need to canvass the collective intelligence of this group to solicit advice that I may not know I need. I'm good with feeding him, changing diapers, and the basics. I know I'll have to give him a bath soon and I've not done that before. We have a baby bath thing in the closet, I just have to get it out and set it up. Also I'm staying in her house with her roommate she rents from. Thankfully her roommate is cool and is rather sympathetic to my suddenly awful situation. Thanks for reading. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/37KWy44

How do you feel about your children’s photos being taken and being posted online publicly by your schools and daycare?

I’m a new father and I work in AI. I have a bad feeling that the mass public is not aware that this is even happening, and not sure if I’m being paranoid. I actually found a boat load of pictures on Facebook today of my kid. But I realized that a lot of daycares and schools out there take photos of your child (with or without) your consent and post them publicly on Facebook (permissions set to public). I would imagine that they should at least have it so that you would have to go to the school to see those images but it looks like this is not the case. What do people do with potential kidnapping or restraining orders, etc? I imagine this puts kids at risk? The other aspect is that your child never consented to this and doesn’t even have the option to privacy... facial recognition is already here.. imagine your child going to a job interview and employers able to match their pictures of them from birth... let alone very disturbed or creepy people out there.. or your child getting bombarded with ads because of a picture from their teens that may influence them a certain way... it’s really creepy via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Ogf9ND

Round two, here we go!!!

Wife has me in charge of the contraction timer, and it’s getting real! Bassinet is set up, pumping equipment is back from storage, grandparents are one the way to care for our toddler. We are expecting our second son to make his arrival within the next 12-24 hours! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Of2Dhs

Laying with kids until they are asleep

My wife and I have gotten into a routine where when we put the kids to bed we actually lay down with them until they are asleep.We find this very relaxing both for us and for them. Our kids do sleep through the night mostly. We just find it nice after reading books to do this. One parent with each kid in their own rooms.My question is, what kind of positive/ negative things have you seen come from this as a parent that did this with their kids? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/36AMn0A

My 8 YO daughter is being referred to Special Education and I find it very distressing

My daughter was born two months premature and has started to have some struggles the past couple of school years. She seems happy but I feel like she is becoming more isolated. She has issues with her fine motor skills for which has been going to OT and PT both in and out of school. She has withdrawn interest in sports because she struggles more than the other kids to perform. She is now starting to have academic and social issues and is being referred for more evaluation. She has become very aware that things don’t come as easily to her as the other kids. I was socially awkward growing up and I remember how depressing it was. My wife had academic issues of her own in school and is very worried that her difficult experiences growing up are going to be revisited on our daughter. What’s people’s experience with this? What can I expect? What should I be doing? I just feel really lost right now because I just don’t want my kid to be unhappy. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3aYUNSI

ADVICE OF THE DAY : BE A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR YOUR KIDS TO FOLLOW

Be careful when your children are around, and think of them as a small version of you, be the person you want your kids to become.we know kids can develop an ability of self-learning but in the majority of time they learn by imitating your behaviors and characteristic, literally your kids are copying your own actions, so you need to be aware of what you're doing in front of your kids. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GENphq

My 6 year old tried to give us money.

I had a bit of a breakdown talking with my partner about our finances and how stressed we are with the lack of work my field has after the holidays, completely unaware that our son was sitting at the dining table doing school work. He asked if I was okay, then about 10 minutes later came with two handfuls of change from his piggy bank. It was so sweet how he wanted to help.He always offers his money, offers to buy things when we need it, and we keep telling him to keep it and save it for himself. He can spend it on his own things like toys, books, field trips if he chooses, but no way is he responsible for the household. Sometimes I fear that we may fail him as parents from time to time, but these little things is what reminds me that we are doing okay, and that he's such a good, kind-hearted little boy. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/36HGbEb

How to motivate myself to play with my kids more

Love my kids and love being a father. I only work two days a week (from home) and am with my kids ( 3 1/2 and 2) the other 5 days a week. We don't send them to day care so we are together legit everyday. It's a blessing and I know how lucky I am. But, I am having trouble motivating myself to play with them. I can only play with the paw patrol tower so many times! Etc. Any idea on how I can motivate myself to play with them more? Looking for tips and tricks via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GzFkL7

I get panicky when I think of having kid #2. Can you relate?

Hi all. Hope this is an OK parenting topic, I don't know where else this can be appreciated.We have a 20 month old daughter and she is so much fun. I "think"? I just want one child but I am open to two. The thought is appealing to me as they get older. And my husband wants two but is OK with one.So this morning she started crying from her crib pretty early and I brought her to my bed before my alarm went off, lights were off, I was cuddling her and I decided to get out my phone and show her pics of animals and see if she could name them. She was giggling and smiling and pointing and having a BLAST and so was I. It was such a fun moment and then panic and dread hit me out of nowhere and I thought "If I have two kids this won't be as fun, because then they're both going to be in bed with me and loud and annoying and I really just enjoy this right now and I really just want THIS special time with just her one on one, forever, I don't want to share her or these moments".I had such a big physiological reaction to that thought and I had to almost back myself down like "no we haven't decided anything yet, chill".Every time I think of a cool zoo day or trip to the park with her it's so relaxing and fun but then when I think of bringing two kids it just turns it into immediate dread and panic and I'm like noooope noooope can't do it.I don't know if I am seeing the reality of two kids through a poor lens though or if this my gut telling me no, actually, you do not want another child and staying happy where you are now is what you are meant to do.Can anyone relate to these feelings that went on to have a second child? What was the experience like for you? II somehow feel like having a second one would be a "threat" to my relationship with the first. But then again when I think of having two kids when they're teens or young adults, it's something that would be really nice.Many thanks for reading. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RFaeaZ

Maybe the government should hire my kids

My kids are so f****** good at psychological warfare they could all have secure jobs in the government.I just cant take anymore. They fight every waking moment and they refuse to do anything to help upkeep the house. But we are expected to provide them with all the comforts of life.If I say no, they begin with rapid fire "please" over and over until we have no choice but to scream or give in. Sometimes both. Or they just keep asking, wearing us down.Its torture. I'd rather be waterboarded at Guantanamo Bay.We are supposed to travel in March to see our family in another state and I just cant do it. I cant sit in a full car and deal with it anymore.I never though I'd hate being a parent. I wish we had just stopped after the first one.I've never wanted to kill myself more than now. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/36CpCsX

My husband insults our baby

I'm a mom of a lovely 6 month old baby boy and am currently on maternity leave. So, I'm the primary carer for him. I also still breastfeed.That being said, I'm a human also and sometimes need to go out without the LO. My outings never last more than 3 hours and are never in the evening. Yes. I'm an adult and I haven't been out and about past 6pm by myself in more than 6 months. But it's fine, I don't mind. My only request was for my husband to look after the baby twice a week so I could work out.Before baby I used to work out 4 times a week, it's a part of me, it's important to me, so I would keep my sanity. So, point is, I need this 2 workouts a week now. The gym is within walking distance, so I'm gone for a total of an hour and a half.My baby is very sweet. He didn't have colic, he likes company and is a jolly fella. He is, however, attached to me and needs my boobs a lot. So, sometimes, when I'm gone, he would miss me and he would cry. My husband tries to calm him down but isn't always successful. Or it takes more time for him to calm baby down .What worries me is that, after such an episode, when I come home he says (in front of the baby) : "He was very stupid while you were gone" // "He's ruining my life" // "You're very annoying when you cry like that" // "He's an idiot" etc.The way he speaks to the baby worries me very much. I don't think it's normal, although I get how hard a crying baby can be. Anyone in a similar boat?Thanks. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2tUjUpk

Weekly - Things my kid said - to share all the things your kids say. - January 30, 2020

This is a weekly thread where you can share the things you're kid said to you that made you laugh/cry/go on a mad rampage.If you'd like to talk daily about things your kids say, feel free to visit /r/thingsmykidsaid via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GDJGRn

Into the Unknown!

Yep, my not yet two year old loves the song! She doesn't know enough words so, instead, she just sings "nooooooooo" with her hands out emotionally to her invisible audience."Into the un noooooo, into the un nooooooooo, into the un noooo noooo no noooooooo" via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RGQd41

Kindergartener being told princesses are for girls

My six year old son just told me he didn’t want to bring a snack in a ziplock bag that has Elsa on it (he excitedly picked the bags out the other day) because people at school said that Frozen is a girl’s movie. My son apparently stood his ground and told the other kid that there are no boys or girls movies and everyone can watch any movie they want to. I’m proud of him for standing up for himself but frustrated that in this day and age someone is still telling children that there are “girl” and “boy” movies. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2O66RYH

My daughter is afraid of monsters

My daughter has recently come up with the idea that she is afraid of monsters in her bedroom. She is 3 years old and last night come bed time. We did our nightly routine. Get her teeth brushed , daddy read her a book and then it was time to be tucked in. But last night when it came to being tucked in , out of no where she was hysterical. She is afraid there is a werewolf under her bed. She was screaming and crying like no tomorrow. I am a first time mom, and I already find it hard to understand and help her with her emotions. My husband said to just close the door and leave her bee. But this isn’t something she does on a regular basis. She mentioned monsters on the weekend. But nothing like this. Long story short. I am worried I am being horrible by getting frustrated with it , because she may genuinely be afraid and be feeling very real emotions that myself and my husband don’t understand. And I don’t want to neglect her emotions. I don’t know how to handle it. Please help 🥰 via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2u2l1mO

Pancake hack!

My husband is a genius. Today my 2 year old threw a tantrum because she wanted pancakes. Only we didn’t have any pancakes or pancake mix and we were in a hurry to get ready. So what did my husband do? He flattened a slice of bread and handed it to her. She accepted the “pancake”. CRISIS AVERTED via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2uM7UWI

My kids were unknowingly exposed to TB at their pediatric office.

Hi friends,So I’m writing this as a nervous wreck. If you live in SE Michigan, you’ve most likely seen on the locals news stations about the pediatric medicine group that had an employee working for them with TB.All patients that were exposed, either directly or indirectly are going to be given a free screening. Today we received a call that both my daughters needed extra testing because they were both directly exposed.I am freaking out at the thought of them having TB. I understand the chances are low but the thought that we unknowingly exposed them, at the place where they’re supposed to be safe, makes me sick.My youngest daughter is under 2 months old. She was exposed at 4 days old. She has to have an X-ray and skin test, my older daughter is a few months over 2 and has to have a blood test. She is going to be traumatized by this blood test. They’re going to have to hold her down and make her hurt and I can’t do anything to help her. I feel so helpless about this.What if they test positive? Having a newborn during cold and flu season has meant that we pass on doing things we would normally do, or at least pass as a family. We will want to give our toddler experiences she will remember, yet our both kids were exposed to an infectious disease.I feel like I have to be the tough one with my wife. She notices I’m acting off and asks me why. She knows it’s the TB but she doesn’t know the extent to which I’m bothered.I’m so angry and nervous.Thank you for reading. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OaXJSr

Kid (s)

I love my kiddo, soooo much. But seriously WhY Do ThEy WhInE soooo god damned much... like what is the reasonm Yes, baby girl i get you dropped your toy on the floor, but jesus christ i am driving and not killing is top priorty. And tellling me over and over you cant reach it doesnt make it so i can grab it any faster.... via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/38NO4t0

Don't Stop Believing

My 16 year old and her friends are in the kitchen singing along to Journey at the top of their lungs. I'm in bed laughing into my pillow and had to share. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3aSOMaj

My 7 year old has looping tantrums every day and I can't take it anymore

I need help,My daughter is 7 years old and extremely defiant. She yells at everyone and if one of her siblings even plays with her toy (She doesn't mind taking other people's toys without asking what-so-ever) without asking she screams at them at the top of her lungs.If we tell her to stop, she wont. If we then warn she will go to a time out, she won't stop. Then, if we tell her to go to a time out, a switch goes off in her head and she completely flips out. She screams, begging us to not put her in a time out and scream repeats, "I will stop" upwards of 200+ times or 2-3 hours if we let it. There is no talking her out of it, diverting her attention nor ignoring it because she will follow us while screaming at deafening tones far beyond what our nose canceling bose headphones can protect us against. Not to mention it riles up the other kids who can't stand to hear that for hours. She gets so intense and worked up that she sometimes even wets herself.The things that set them off can be just us asking her to keep her voice down or be quiet. I cannot tell you how stressful it is to hear a kid scream at the top of her lungs that she, "will be quiet" for hours on end.She has done what we've dubbed "loops" for years now and lately it's morning and night, sometimes even 3 times a day. What makes it worse and a bit more dramatic, is that I grew up with a mother who ONLY yelled at the top of her lung over ANYTHING. It was so bad, that I actually have PTSD and get extremely stressed out when I hear that kind of yelling. My daughter does that kind of yelling and when I try to distance myself she follows me.I don't think I can take this anymore and I am pleading for any advice.​Edit#1: I should also note that after she calms down she seems to not even remember what has just transpired. She is also a complete sweetheart afterwards which makes me hesitant to punish her because it feels like two completely different people. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/36CgkNP

My kids give me purpose

I’ve had many successes in life, a degree (working on a second) & licenses for my career. I’m proud of the things I’ve learned and done. Life has knocked me on my ass, yet I got up swinging. Still at the end of the day nothing gives me purpose like my kids do. Things like, how they tell me “I love you” out of the blue or amaze me with how smart they are. That’s my reason for being here, to hope they have a better life than I did. When they look back on their childhood my hope is they never question my love for them and know I will always be on their side. Thanks for whoever read this. I’m just in a hard spot in life and really reminding myself there are two little ones who need a strong, loving mama. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2O4W94H

Sounds cliche... but New parent feeling like a failure

We just had our first child and it’s been a rollercoaster. He has had some kind of health issues every month (NICU, rash/allergy, torticollis and flat head).On the work front, I just got back to my old job and while everyone has been very welcoming and supportive, I feel like I’m just grinding time away that I can be spending with my baby. I grieve that I only get to see him for like 1.5 hours everyday, only to put him to bed and missing out on so many milestones. I also feel not that productive at work.We have an amazing nanny, but still not everything is done to our liking. And I can’t but find myself getting anxious that I’m not there.But I don’t have the confidence to just quit my job and be a SAHM. I think I will go insane by myself, I’m also not confident I’d take care of the baby any better than the nanny... I think in my head I have this feeling a lot of the medical issues were due to our inexperience (what if we moved his head earlier? What if we fed him differently? What if what if...) I don’t want to mess him up again. But I feel guilty too to pay for extra hand to help if I already quit my job and our income is down.Then we had to let go of our dog because the baby has allergy. I feel like I betrayed our dog.I don’t know how other parents do it. Salute to you all. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RCKXyb

Pop-Tart is not tart

My son, 6, has the opportunity to try cranberry juice for the first time. My sister warns him he might not like it because it's pretty tart.He says, "Well, I like pop-tarts so I think I'll like it."He did not enjoy the juice. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/36AiZHB

Work Travel + 2 Kids

So we have a 2 week old and an almost 3 year old. My job requires that I travel some. Not every week, but sometimes when we're busy it can be every other week. Generally it shakes down to about 1-2 trips per month and those can be anywhere from 2 days to 5 days long.What i'm trying to figure out is how this is possible now that i'm back from parental leave (yea, we don't get any leave just PTO) and my wife would be flying solo with the kids. Our oldest is in daycare so that's nice. But the youngest won't be in daycare until probably April or so. Before she goes to daycare, is it actually realistic to expect my wife to have to do EVERYTHING for both kids all day and night on basically zero sleep or do people generally hire a nanny to be here with the wife and kids at night to help with cleaning, cooking, getting the older kid to bed etc? I just keep looking at my upcoming schedule and feeling honestly horrible knowing what my wife is going to have to endure. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3aVHh28

How do you make large decisions on behalf of your kid?

I admit I'm not the most decisive person in the world, but really stress about the "big" decisions for my kid.For example: we have to pick a new school for him to start in September (Grade 1).Our options:Super expensive private school - GREAT school, lots of support structures in place for enrichment or support as necessary, 800 pupils, tons of extracurricular activities, 25 minute commute each way by car, would need after school care. We do a 30 minute commute each way to daycare and it is super draining (2 hours in the car for the adults). Pushes our monthly budget to the limit, and the price goes UP when the kid hits 7th gradeCheaper private school - TINY, only 120 kids in the whole school, so all split grade classes. Support structures for in-class enrichment or support, very few extracurriculars, would not need after school care (so shorter day), 30 minute bus ride each way. Concerns about social issues of such small classes - he's going to be with the same kids for every day until high school, and we've already hit bullying issues in daycare.Local public school - rated "OK", no support for enrichment or support, massive class sizes (35-38 pupils), frequent PD days (one per month minimum) and current strike action closing the schools frequently (seems to happen annually); short drive away, aftercare not needed but would need to find alternate care every time the school is closed, limited extracurriculars.Our kid is extremely bright, needs a firm hand to keep him on task or he gets disruptive, struggles a bit socially (youngest kid in the grade), and really needs to connect with his teachers/coaches in order to work with them. We can afford to supplement extracurriculars if not offered by a school.He has been tested and accepted by both private schools.Obviously he is 5, this is not necessarily going to define his whole life, but this feels like a huge choice to make, and the wrong choice could potentially impact his thoughts about school going forward. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2S3zffd

Nerves are shot. Toddler naps for everyone but me. How you g is too young to just sedate her? Asking for myself.

My kid will nap for my mom and my SO. 100% of the time will nap for them. SO gets two-2.5 hour naps out of her AND is able to transfer her to the crib successfully.I’m a SAHM due to lay-off while pregnant, and a long list of other life events that have just made this where we are for the foreseeable future. Why won’t she nap for me? We use the same routine as bedtime, white noise, sleep sack, milk (yeah, I already know about that, but one shitshow at a time, please).I commit to an hour in her room no matter what. Sometimes it’s been hit or miss. Sometimes she sleeps and I can’t transfer her to the crib. There’s a 100% chance if I can get her to sleep that I’m then nap trapped. Transfer to crib has a 0% success rate for me and only me. I’m drowning in other household responsibilities and I think it’s shit that she later gets stuck in her PNP (she’s 14 mo and into everything) while I catch up on chores, or I’m stuck making phone calls etc while she’s in her high chair.At best, I could work PT from home if I had a kid that napped for me. At mediocre, u could get chores etc done and not cry literally every day from sheer fucking overwhelm.**no I’m not depressed/PPD/PPA. Literally just feeling feelings about why tf my kid naps for other people and not me.TL;DR my kid refuses naps for me and only me. I hat gives? Pls halp.Ideas I have so far: MDO and pray they get her to sleep. Or part time nanny/sitter. Pls, someone give some things I can try that are free.On mobile, quick post. My mom came for reinforcements. Cause my nerves are shot. Again. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RG0ZaV

"I just kiss him nighty night and tuck him in and done!". REALLY??

I am so so sorry for this rant, I am exhausted, devastated and clueless of what to do with my infants (3mo) sleep.I have been struggling with my little one to sleep. First of - he sleeps with me and his daddy - my husband. In our bed - like that was fine at first, but he is getting bigger and the bed is limited in size. Therefore I have been twisting my body in impossible positions, just for all of us to have room and that has caused me to have massive back aches. Ok, next - we are looking for a going-to-sleep routine and NOTHING is working. Every single "routine" I have seen is like "Oh, ours is not that bad - we just change him in his PJs and then sing him a song, kiss him nighty night and done!". Really? REALLY??????? And then what? :D I dont know about you guys, but my LO is NOT falling asleep like that. Oh no. He screams his bloody head off until I pick him up. Then he calms down, I put him down and it all starts over again! And that goes around and around and around for hours until I give up and just take him in my bed and nurse him and he finally falls asleep. Or the other will be that he is just not into sleeping at all - no matter how "sleepy" I try to make the environment. I am exhausted beyond mesure.​Ideally - I want him to sleep in his own bed and actually sleep and be asleep by 9pm. And I think that will never happen! I am actually in tears. HALP!!! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3aVlCqQ

When my kid can tell me what’s wrong...

When my baby is frustrated and crying, I often think how much easier life will be once she is able to tell me what’s wrong. Then I read posts in this sub about how toddlers simply fall apart for reasons like: they can’t actually have a bowl of ketchup, or their shoe has come untied, or they can’t spell hippopotamus...When my kid can tell me what’s wrong, it won’t be any easier, will it? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/37EJ2yH