SIL gives alcohol to her children in front of my son

So, as far as my inlaws are concerned, my SIL walks on water. She is a chiropractor and insists that she is a medical doctor. She is an antivaxxer and breast is bester. And she gives her children alcohol. Beer, vodka, wine... right from birth they have 'tasted' it all. Everyone thinks it is super cute that her 2 year old will beg people for beer.They are all into booze... hubby and I are not. Husband occasionally has a beer, I am not interested. My son is 6, their girls are now 4 and 2. I think that what they are doing is terrible, but my opinion counts for nothing.I guess my question is... how do I keep my son from feeling left out at family functions? How do I approach this conversation with him? I don't want to insult the family in front of him, but I want him to know that this is not OK. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kc78g7

First words opinion

Our son is just about 8mo and, with a little coercion, will look at my wife and I and say "mama" and "dada". Also several other goo goos. We were discussing among ourselves whether we considered these first words since they could also be coincidental noises.What did you folks do? Count specific goo goos or wait til you got like a "pickle" or "doggy" or something? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2yP2nMG

Raising the future

My husband and I spent the week in Chicago with our four year old son. Throughout the week he kept asking me questions like "why is the man sleeping on the ground?" and "what does his sign say?" Among about 100 other questions. We went to get pizza (Chicago deep dish, yumm) he insisted we save a piece, as he was going to take it to someone who "needed help". When we got home this morning he asked me "Are there people in Lacey who need help?" It warmed my heart. My only goal in raising him is that he is a good person and cares about other people and their needs. Talent and smarts are inherent, compassion and kindness is not. I don't understand how my four year old understands and feels this in his heart, yet the leader of the free world seems to have issue with such a basic concept of human compassion and dignity. Especially when it comes to anyone who thinks or looks differently than he. This mornings tweets were beyond anything acceptable and it isn't what I want my child seeing as true leadership. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ygr9Z0

Is it normal for the pediatrician to check for foreskin retraction for older boys at annual check-ups?

She was very gentle and this was the first year she checked it (my son is 12), but my sister says she shouldn't be checking at all no matter what. This super quick, gentle check, is totally fine, right? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2hDH0Km

3 year old girl curious about testicles, anatomy - how much is too much?

So, if we were to follow our daughter's curiosity and questions, it looks like we would have to sit down with an anatomy book and get into a discussion of the reproductive system and see how many questions she asks and in how much detail. Is it too early for this? How do we give a truthful and informative answer that is appropriate for her age? Oh and she really wants to see what dad has in his pants, since she knows it's different from girls' parts. Obviously that's out of the question but it shows that she wants information. (Re: testicles, one of her animal toys is very clearly a male, she was asking about what the testicles were.) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ygpa75

Help! Bread Winner vs Stay at Home Parent Issues - Splitting Responsibilities

My SO and I are on the fence about having kids, but a conversation we had last night really bugged me and I want to know how you all think, feel, and handle similar situations.He said that if and when we have children I can stay home and raise them and that will be my full time job - that's fine. But he said if he's the bread winner he won't help me if the baby is crying in the middle of the night because he needs his sleep. It'll be my job to take care of the kid by myself 5/7 days of the week."You won't help at all?" I asked "No, not if I have to work the next day." "Not one bit..?" "No, I need my sleep." "Well I do too..." "You can take lots of naps during the day if you're a stay at home mom. I can't nap at work."He also said that he doesn't want me "dumping" the kid on him as soon as he comes through the door after a long day of work. He's going to be tired and he will want to relax for awhile when he gets home.I understand where he's coming from, but he makes it seem like he's going to want nothing to do with the kid!Help! This is really bothering me. We don't have any children yet, but this is something important that we need find common ground on before we head down that road... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fyfvNG

Broken tibia and fibula!!

Help! My son fell off the playground equipment at school and broke his tibia through and through the fibula 90% through. He is in a leg cast to his thigh for six weeks.Aside from the usual movies, games, coloring , puzzles, legos, friend visits does anyone have any tips??This is going to be hard, he is a VERY active little boy. He is seven. Not sure about when he will go back to school. I am borrowing a walker and crutches. The plaster cast is very heavy but will be replaced next week. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fGBc1O

1 month old with collics

Hello,First of all, I want to apologize if this is posted in the wrong subreddit.I am a 20 year old boy and my sister recently had a baby girl. She is currently 1 month old and I decided to create this post, because I desperately want to help my sister and my niece.They are feeding her with formula and breast milk, during the day she is okay - she eats, she burps, then after a while she goes to sleep. The problem is that during the night, her tummy really hurts and you can tell, because she is sleeping all calm and all of a sudden she wakes up and starts crying very loud. Then after about 1-2 minutes she falls asleep again very quickly and this happens all night. My sister and her husband can’t get any sleep, in result my sister is depressed, sad, exhausted and does not feel very good. I know that it is normal to make sacrifices for your child, but if there is any advice I can help her with, I would be extremely happy.They are feeding the baby 2 drops of Simeticone drops before the meals in the afternoon and in the night, but it does not seel to really help.Thank you in advance! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xSqsUN

How do you teach your two-year-old how to put himself to sleep?

We coslept for a long time, and now our 23-month-old is sleeping most of the night in his room. I finally stopped nursing him to sleep, but now one of us has to lie in his bed with him until he falls asleep. It actually works better when my husband does it, because our son still begs to nurse when I am in there. And usually cries. Sometimes it takes an hour or more for him to fall asleep. I'm not even sure if it's helpful that we are there, but I do know that his screams are much more shrill if we leave him in his room by himself. we now have a routine where he made a bedtime story and we Takin his stuffed animals and tell them night night. But putting him to sleep remains a pretty painful ordeal. The other way that I get him to go to sleep, usually at night, is to take him on a long walk. I like to go on a walk because it forces me to get some exercise, and I walk briskly, he falls asleep, I transfer him, and I sleep better to having done a brisk walk for an hour and a half. But it doesn't change the fact that my son doesn't know how to put himself to sleep.Yesterday a playmate came over, and he is perhaps five months older, but I was struck by how he lay still to fall asleep. I know that his parents did cry it out when that child was about six months old, and I know that he must stay in his room for the full nap time even if he doesn't sleep. I also know that my child goes to sleep at his daycare, so I think some of it is a situation that we created ourselves. I should also mention that we have a roommate who's room is next-door, so I don't know if we could do a full cry it out, even though I'm pretty sure our roommate would support us. I'm also not sure that we can do cry it out at this point because it's pretty late. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xOlk3J

Lone dad....bra question!

A quick back story...im on my own with two daughters. My eldest 13 has aspergers. I've always shaved my head so had to learn how yo do hair. I've obviously never had a period so had to learn about sanitary towels...now the next issue is bras.My eldest who has aspergers, point blank refuses to wear proper bras, she has fine motor skill problems so it's too hard for her to fasten, and won't even entertain the idea of a female relative (my sister), helping her. So I consulted an autism expert, I work in SEN, and they suggested sports bras. So I got some, and she wears them but said she didn't like the colours, so I bought some more expensive ones that looked nicer, but they have padding? They are the correct size and to fit her bust and age. But what is with the padding? It is removable so wondered if it's best to take it out? I don't understand the purpose of it? Can someone explain, I'm confused! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xR2cT6

Our 8 year old doesn't like cuddling or backrubs.

I try to snuggle up with her on the couch while she watches her shows, or sit next to her and rub her back. She'll find a reason to get away, and then will keep her distance as she returns to watch. I don't demand for her to let me, just curious why she wouldn't want to be touched. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2yzNvkv

How should I talk to my 5 yo about how he’s doing in sports? He gets upset and discouraged.

My 5 year old has been playing soccer, and he’s pretty good at it. But at the same time he’s 5, and no 5 year old is really good at it, you know? He gets really upset if he doesn’t block a goal, or get a goal, etc. but he’s very good at ballhandling and dribbling the ball and many of the fundamentals other kids are not good at.So my question is this: what advice would you give me about talking to him and encouraging him.He knows it is important to make goals and he’s very upset when he doesn’t do it which makes him think he’s not very good. I tell him “no, buddy, you’re very good look at how well you do these other things” and of course the ol’ “it’s not winning that matters but having fun” but then he still gets upset that he thinks he’s not. He’s fairly sensitive, so that affects things to. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2wpA06b

My 7 yr old son doesn't want to see me.

My seven yr old son doesn't want to visit me on the weekends that I have him. I ended an 8 yr relationship with his father because he was physically and emotionally abusive. I was a stay at home for 8 years. When I left him, I didn't have anything When we went to court I could not afford a lawyer so everything pretty much went in his fathers favor. I was awarded every other weekend. Fast forward a year later, I have my own place, good job at the hospital..trying to do better in life. Within a year of ending the relationship, his father has since remarried and my son calls someone else mom. My sons father will email me that my son doesn't want to visit me. When my 11 yr old daughter and I pick up our son, her brother he is unhappy and moody. After a few hours after I pretty much buy his love he is happy to spend time with his sister and I and claims he is happy and wants to come back next week. I buy him games, toys, take the kids to fun places like chuck e cheese, Medieval times, and swimming. I cook all the foods that he loves on the weekends I have him. I pretty much cater to my son just to make him happy and get him to see that I love him. I feel like his father is trying to alienate my son from me and it is working. I feel like I am losing my son and my daughter feels like she is losing her brother. This is the worst kind of pain I have ever felt. I almost feel like I should have stayed in an abusive relationship with him because I would still have my son. As much asI love my son, I don't know if I should just give in and not make him come on my weekends or continue how things are going. It has gotten to the point where I am a little depressed about it and feel like some days wouldn't be worth living. Could someone please help me or give me advice I would appreciate it. Thanks.TL;dr My 7 year old son doesn't want to visit me on my weekends. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2wpE46l

Road trip success

I recently took a road trip with my 8 yo son. I'm his mother. I absolutely loved the one-on-one time in the over 1,300 mile drive. The trip did not revolve theme parks, but nature, community, and experience. I'm curious if the community has any great adventures to share.I have an affiliate blog where I published a few photos and quick thoughts if you're interested http://ift.tt/2wpE2vf via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fEuKIG

Baby wearers/attachment parents--how do you handle early risers/short nappers?

So I am open to any and all suggestions/shared experiences but just I feel like I subscribe more the the attachment parenting style, although we did do CIO for evening bed time and it worked out fine.Anyways, as far as the early rising goes--my 7 month old used to sleep in until about 0700 or sometimes 0730, having been put down to bed at 1900. For the past few weeks he's been waking up anywhere from 0500-0600, and I now consider 0630 a win. It seems like he just wakes up to cuddle--my wife or I go in and pick him up and he just lays his head on our shoulder and falls asleep. FWIW, we're able to sit in the recliner in his room and fall asleep too, but I guess my main question is am I "enabling" him? Or how would you handle this? In an ideal world we'd all be able to sleep in until 0700 or so but it's just not happening.As far as the naps go, he's always been a "bad" napper. He used to only sleep 30 minutes to the second, you could literally set your watch to it. Well then I discovered that if I wear him in the Tula he not only falls asleep in under a minute, he'll sleep for 1.5-2 hours! I don't really mind it right now and I've got a good schedule going, but am I setting myself up for failure? My wife is willing to keep up this charade since I'm home with him all day and do the majority of the napping, but she will take some shifts on the weekends but is leaning more towards letting him CIO for naps. I'm afraid he won't nap as long and I don't want to have him crying!Thanks for your shared experiences/advice. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2wpIfiC

Potty training advice

I finally created an account just for this. I'm at wits end and was hoping you fine folks might have some advice.I'm a single dad of the greatest three year old boy. For the most part I find him to be a fairly easy child in comparison to some children I have seen. He's easygoing, always happy, eats well, sleeps well. He's my first and only, so I don't exactly have a huge frame of reference, but from what many other parents have told me he's basically the dream child.Recently I've hit what I would consider to be my first major bump in the road.I've been potty training him for about the last four months, and it was going as well as could be expected for a boy who was not yet three at the time. In that time I have managed to get him to the point where he will do 95% of his pees in the potty. He will even do this independently. Many times now, I'll be making dinner or doing household chores and he'll be playing or watching cartoons on his own and he'll get up, get his potty, take off his pants and pull-up and pee all on his own. Awesome.My issue is that he just WILL NOT poop in the potty. This in itself is not a huge deal. He's still pretty young. Potty training is a marathon and not a sprint. My issue is that for the last two months not only will he not poop in the potty, but he will do what I call "stealth poops."I get wanting privacy. I wouldn't be into someone watching me poop either, but he sneaks off and poops and then just goes back to normal activity and in a minute or two there is just...poop...EVERYWHERE.My son poops like a bear. He eats healthy and poops healthy for his age, but almost every single time it's just a total disaster. Every day I'm washing bedding, mopping floors, cleaning toys, cleaning walls and obviously doing so much laundry. It's just become immensely frustrating.I know that expecting him to go on the potty might not be super reasonable. He's still pretty young, but I just can't handle it on the daily. I'm VERY clean. To an OCD extent, so I spend a pretty decent amount of time dealing with this. Cleanliness aside, nobody wants their house to smell like poop.I have tried changing his diet, changing meal times, different diapers and pull-ups, watching him like a hawk...nothing has worked. We've even spent the majority of a handful waking days parked on the potty. Early on he did go on the potty three or four times, but now nothing in weeks.At this point it seems to come down to sheer stubbornness. He waits and watches and then poops when he's alone. To test this theory I picked one of our all day potty days and later in the day when he hadn't gone I dressed him and left him in his room to play for five minutes. Poop disaster. Even leaving the potty in there with him he won't go, so privacy won't do it.I've even introduced incredibly lopsided rewards in our potty training reward system and nothing. I get that he may not poop on the potty for a bit at this age, but I've got to mediate the disasters. At this point we're at the two week mark of having to scrub it off of something every day. I'm always patient and loving, but inwardly I could just sit and cry.Any advice?PS: Praise the sun for ceramic tile flooring. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fFNDuK

Parents with nannies, how do you communicate what tasks need to be completed daily?

It's been 2 weeks since our nanny started working for us and I feel like I'm having mixed results when it comes to taking tasks off my plate and getting them done by the nanny. The childcare is getting done, but things like taking out the garbage when it's obviously getting full instead of piling onto it and letting it wait... It's not getting done. I want to make her a daily to-do check list so that she can clearly see what's expected of her. (I just want my child cared for and very basic house chores done so I can get some work done.)Is there a good app that you're found helpful? Do you go old school and use a white board?Just verbally telling her isn't working so I'm looking for easy alternatives to track what needs to be done.**If you're going to shame me or otherwise give me a hard time for having hired help, please move on. I'm not going to reply to your comments. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ka21Nn

[medication] Should I stop breastfeeding so I can safely take medicine?

I have an almost 9 month daughter. I started weaning her at 6 months on solids, but I still exclusively breastfeed.I suffer with really bad anxiety and depression so I take Zoloft which is okay while breastfeeding. However I also suffer from really bad migraines that last for weeks. But they can't give me anything other than the over counter medicines. Doctor said the only way I can have aspirin/ or other migraine medication is if I stopped breastfeeding but he doesn't want to advise that.I've been suffering all week with a migraine. I was wondering if is the best thing for me to do is stop breastfeeding? I adore breastfeeding and I don't want to stop. But is that the best thing to do for my health?I'm really guilty with all the meds I have taken while breastfeeding, for my gallstones and ear infections aswell. But it's all safe, but how safe can it really be?Thanks for the help via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2woZjFv

My wife cheated and left with one of our 2 kids, what should I do here?

I had an affair behind my wife's back, while she stayed home with the kids.At least, I thought so. She had a boyfriend whom she hung out with. She slept with him. She also had flings with her exes and even a friend of mine. I caught my wife in bed with her boyfriend, and I got angry at her. Yet, she became angry at me for sleeping with my girlfriend [19F]. She called me a cheating pig and a creepy old guy (since my girlfriend is 19F), despite having a boyfriend and messing with him.She and I seperated, and she took one of the kids with him into her boyfriend's house. I got one of the kids with me and my girlfriend in my house.What can I do to get her to leave her boyfriend and come back with me?TL;DR : Wife seperated from me for having an affair with girlfriend, yet she has a boyfriend. What do I do now? She took one of the kids. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xNcB1E

How to act when wife is shouting/bullying me in front of our 2 kids

My wife shouts a lot when she is stressed and when normal family problems (small or big) come up. She will explode and almost bully me with no hesitation in front of our 2 kids (1 and 3 year old boys).I've been trying to solve the root cause of this behavior for the last 10 years but I think it's unsolvable. She has been brought up in a family where there was a lot of shouting from everyone and one was constantly humiliating the other. Her family is very bonded and they love each other very much, but they don't seem to excel in critical thinking and problem solving via civilized discussion even for the simplest of matters. In order to be heard, they resort to raising the voice, barking, swearing and name calling to each other.So, my current problem is that she is doing it a lot in front of our 2 kids. Sometimes the older one may start crying. Other times he may come asking why is mommy shouting or what is she saying. When he was younger and couldn't understand much, he would laugh and sometimes try to copy this behavior.My main concerns are that:Kids may get used to this and think that this is a normal way of solving problems or that verbally abusing others is OK when you are stressed out or when the other one has made a mistake (small or bad).Kids may develop some sort of psychological issues because of this?Kids may think that I am weak. (Note that I don't aim to act as the boss of the family. I believe in equality.)What I've tried so far when this incident is taking place:Ask her calmly to stop shouting because this doesn't help to solve the issue.Ask her emphatically to stop shouting.Tell her to not shout in front of the children (of course mentioning the kids in this must not be good).Ignore her. (this soon escalates bad because she'll start swearing or throwing things around and I don't want that in front of the kids)Turn away with the kid(s) and try to do something else in the house.Get out of the house with the kid(s) to do something else, i.e leave for 1 hour or something.Start saying to the kids that mommy is angry because she is tired or because I did something wrong.Please provide suggestions. Again, I only care about how to respond/act in regards on how the kids will grow. Wife's issue is unsolvable (behavior is embedded in her personality).p.s "solving" this via a divorce will only make it worst for the kids. I'm not asking for relationship suggestions but only on how to act/respond in order to grow the kids really strong out of that situation. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xJoRif

Concerned about My Niece: Have to Make a Hard Decision

As a preface, my older sister is a sex worker/prostitute/escort and let's her male (platonic) friends crash on her couch.Over the last two years, my niece has been acting out inappropriately at school (lying flat on her back and putting her legs in the air, taking inappropriate pictures on a school camera, etc.). Within this past week, my niece (who is 10) let her male classmate grope her chest and let the same young man grope her female classmate's chest.The young woman who was groped told her parents, who reported it to the principal, who suspended my niece from school. My niece also spoke to a social worker. My older sister is worried that Child Protective Services is going to get involved. Although I love my older sister, I think a responsible adult needs to intervene and if I were financially stable and could be my niece and nephew's legal guardian I would (the rest of my niece and nephew's family cannot do it because they all have criminal records).The issue that I'm facing is whether or not I should report this concern to Child Protective Services. It's obvious that something is going on in my sister's home to cause my niece to act out inappropriately, but I don't want my niece and nephew to go into foster care. I was raised in the system and I know how terrible and horrifying it is. If I report this to Child Protective Services, I will be betraying my family; if I don't, my niece could possibly continue being exposed to something that is traumatic or abusive. I'm hoping that an objective point-of-view will help me make my decision. I've talked to my surrogate aunt who knows my history as well as my former guardian ad litem and they said I should report it. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2x2ZzP0

Spy Training for Kids

I'm looking to set up a multi-day, kid-friendly "spy" training. Each day would consist of several activities that teach you how to be a spy. Here's what I have thought of thus far:knot making - you learn and have to demonstrate 5 knotsminesweeper - you have to win 1 game of minesweeper on the medium (or hard) levelmemory test - walk into a new place, look around for 30 seconds, and then close your eyes and tell me everything you rememberrock climbing - have to climb a 5'8" rock wallblindfolded walk - you have to make it from here to there, and around obstacles, using only my commandsAny other ideas or sources for ideas? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2yedcLf

My 2 year old won't sleep and I think I am going to go insane.

I have a 2 year old and a 6 year old. My oldest never had issues with sleeping. About 3 weeks ago (when she started at a new school, see my side not below) my 2 year old decided that 7:30 bed time doesn't jive with her. She gets out of bed every 5 minutes and we put her back until she finally falls asleep at 11pm. Then she wakes up about 6-8 times every night and comes to wake my wife and I up. I just pick her up and put her back in her bed and tell her "It's time for bed." She stays there for about an hour until she comes into my room to wake us up again. I have no idea if she even falls asleep or if she is sitting up awake all night.What can I do about this? My wife and I are trying to keep it cool but with so little sleep we are going bananas.Also we feel it can't be healthy for her to get so little sleep.Side note: She did start a new school 3 weeks ago which the kids take naps between 12:30 and 2:30. We do know that she doesn't sleep well when she takes a nap and spoke to the school about it. They said they will cut down her nap time from 2 hours to 1 hour. It didn't make a difference. We don't give her sweets before bed, she rarely touches electronics, only mentioning this because this is the first thing my friends mention when I tell them my problem.Also, we had to take the railing of the crib down because she launches herself over it like the friggin daredevil to get out. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2x1XItB

Toddler is acting out and I need a way out. (kind of long)

So I'm a 25 year old SAHM to a little girl who is a year and a half. I'm a SAHM mainly because daycare prices are outrageous here, and we would be losing ~$300/month for me to go back to work and put her in daycare. Husband works a standard 9-5 job, I've been looking for a job for the weekends with no luck so far.I'm having major anger issues toward my daughter. I keep them bottled up and act kindly to her, but I frequently step into another room, close the door, and cool off before I do something foolish. Today, she was making a mess everywhere, including purposefully throwing up. She will frequently shove her hand down her throat, while looking at me to see what I do. I've tried ignoring it, I've tried saying "No we don't do that"....nothing seems to help. She is so freaking clingy right now. I can't set her down without her screaming (I do it when I need to make dinner, or do something else with both hands, and I swear it's loud enough for the neighbors to hear when she cries).Finally, today, as I was cleaning up her barf (on my freshly vacuumed carpet), she was standing over me and shoved her hand in her mouth. I snapped. I yanked it from her mouth, swatted it (not hard) and sternly said "No." Immediately I regretted it, she cried, and I took her in my arms and I apologized.I don't want to hit her. I want to be a good mom. But I also am drowning as a SAHM and there's no way out. We have very limited insurance, so I can't see a therapist. And again there's no way I could put her in daycare unless I could find a job that would take my little credentials (was a fast food employee for 3 years). We can't afford a nanny, even part time...nowadays, getting Taco Bell is a luxury expense. Yet we don't qualify for food stamps because husband makes too much, but we have too much mortgage (our mistake, but we also can't move because it's a very hot market right now and things are crazy expensive).Is there anyone who has been in a similar situation, and can offer advice? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2yN6mJI

Daughter Scared Over Fellow Classmate's Violent Classroom Behavior

Hello all,My daughter is ten, and is in fifth grade at a new school. There is a fellow student who seems to have some emotional problems, and sometimes lashes out because of being set off in some fashion. Turns out this kid was expelled from another school for kicking a teacher.The other day, this student started making a scene, including yelling and throwing pencils. So the teacher asked all the other students to leave the room. There was some yelling that was heard from the outside. After about five-to-ten minutes, the kids were able to go back inside.Soon enough, this classmate was placed in an island desk, in the center of the room.Anyway, my daughter was justifiably frightened by this incident, as well as another incident not so long ago. Thankfully, she's not being singled out for taunting by this same student. I also am confident that the teacher and the principal are working together to ensure safety for all the students under his care. But that said, I was wondering if there was anybody who had a similar situation, and if there was any particular advice or specific sentiments I should give her, or, if there were any general steps I need to do as a concerned parent, or, if I should leave well-enough-alone, and should trust that the school authorities are doing the best they can. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2x1xGXv

UPDATE: Baby in a stroller at daycare for 3 hours?

Previous post if you didn't see it.I called and reported the daycare, as I said in my last post. The director called me the next day to "talk" but was adamant that she didn't do anything wrong and wasn't breaking any rules. All in all, a real bitch that has no business in childcare.Anyway, it seems I was right and she was wrong. The daycare got shut down. :) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2x3yPZB

My daughter and I are at odds. Anxiety is through the roof.

Ok, so heres the breakdown, grab the popcorn, this will be longI've got a 10 year told daughter. The issue I have is that at time, I feel that my daughter plays me. Its gotten to the point now I wouldn't be surprised if I get kicked out of the house. If my daughter doesn't get her way about something, she'll run off to my wife, her mom, and tell her I'm being weird/mean/uncomfortable/etc, and try to get me in trouble. Sad thing is, it works.Last night for example, my daughter asked me if I wanted to ride bikes with her. For the record, I'll drop anything for a bike ride, I love getting a little bit of exercise on the bike. She also asked if we could do a pokemon adventure. This is her code for "lets do the pokemon go app". I was a little hesitant at that at first (more on that later), but decided it was something to do together.As we are beginning our ride, she asked if we can go to a particular park in the next sub-division. Its about 7:10, and the sky is getting darker. I say that we can't as it is getting a bit dark. She tells me it won't be an issue, its still light out. I say we can't as it will be dark soon, and we can go when it is ligther/earlier. She won't have it, says its till be fine. I then just say calmly we're not going to argue about it. She gets a little mad, but we keep riding for about a minute. She said she wants to talk to me, pulls under a tree and says that we aren't having fun. I start telling her that we just started the bike ride, and that can change (us having fun). She gets pissed, bolts off/rides home quickly, runs in the house, and blows up saying I'm being weird.My wife, who I think,not sure, but I think she realizes that our daughter may sometimes embellish a little, asks her what happened. Her answers was dad is being weird/mean. My wife asks how. My daughter replies that is hard to explain, its complicated, etc. She's dodging the question. However my wife presses her (I'm thinking that my wife still is trying to find out if she was embellishing a bit). My daughter then says that I, while holding my phone (remember pokemon go) was looking at it, almost rode my bike into a ditch, which embarrassed her. This event did not take place.I overheard this convo, but I didn't step in as I wanted to let my daughter open up to my wife. After I could tell the conversation was spoken, and onto something different, I asked if I could join. My wife agreed, and said that she was scared and embarrassed. The next few minutes were a blur.Stopping for a second hear, I want to mentione that this has happened several times. My daughter got mad a me a few weeks ago, while biking, and doing the pokemon thing, because of a minor detail (those here to know pokemon go, we were riding around, hitting up pokemon gyms. We got to one, we were taking turns battling different pokemon. I had the phone, got through one battle, my daughter asked me who I battled. I told her to, she gets pissed as she tell me she wanted to battle this particular character). She gets on a bench, lays down and flails her arms and legs for a few seconds, gets up, says shes mad, and bolts off. We're at a park 2 miles away, so I yell out just loud enough so she can hear. She does let me catch up. When she gets home, she ditches her bike on the sidewalk. I again speak a louder that she needed to move her bike into the garage.She opens the door, starts bawling. My wife asks whats wrong, "dad's being mean". My wife: How? My daughter: (sighs in frustration) he just is! After my wife presses her, she says I'm getting in her face, yelling, etc.I don't want to refer to my daughter as a liar. But things are being made up so that I'm the bad guy.My wife wants to see our daughter happy, as do I. Had I been in different places with my wife, I'd also be concerned that when she hangs out with our daughter, and my daughter acted upset and scared, embarrassed when they hung out, I'd be concerned for her too.Its gotten to the point where I feel my wife is going to kick me out of the house. In fact, I think the only reason she hasn't is because she is a SAHM, and right now is dependent on me providing a roof and food, etc. My wife is trying to get some things going to provide some more income, and she said this is distracting her from accomplishing those. I can totally understand that.My wife is beyond frustrated, and I don't blame her. If I do say something to the effect tough of our daughter embellishing or playing me, my wife will get even more upset, saying our daughter is a child, she shouldn't be blamed, that this is something that needs to have been fixed a long time ago. This also brings out old issues and turns things into longer prolonged fights ( I know, this should be for a totally different subreddit)I'm ranting at this point. I'm not sure what I'm asking for. I love my wife and daughter. I'm just very lost right now. I did email my doctor to see if I can get an appointment with a therapist. Hopefully for some guidance and to convince myself I'm not going crazy here. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2x2PvRf

I found a security vulnerability in my daycare's website potentially exposing kids' names, pictures, and approximate ages

I found it when writing a script to download my kids' daily reports. I notified them several days ago and have not heard back. None of that is super sensitive information. Is it something you think I should pursue further? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fwXqQh

Parenting Tips

Four weeks ago I asked my 20 year old son to move out. It was the hardest decision I've ever made in my life. He was rude, disrespectful and never cleaned up. He works full-time and is saving to move to another city and start his career. I asked him to contribute $75 a month and his response was. If I moved in with my father he wouldn't ask for money. If I ever try to talk to me he says he's busy. I feel like a stranger in my own home. I asked him to move out and gave him 4 weeks time to find a place. He moved out in two days. I've called and messaged him and he completely ignores me. I know that I made the right decision but it's still hard. No one ever talks about the empty nest. My mother never did... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fChJ2o

Seeking advice: daughter doesn't want dad

To start off I know it's normal for children to prefer one parent over the other, but I would like feedback on if this is something we should address or let it go.Our daughter is 2.5 yo and has always preferred me, her mom. Husband is hardly around because he works way too much. And I'm 100% sure that factors into her preferring me and what is going on. Onto the issue.When our daughter is upset she will reject dad. For example, this morning I was sitting on the couch with her telling her she needed to put her shirt on (we were getting ready for daycare). She responded with "no, I don't want to go to school" and kicked me. I told her "no, we don't kick people" and dad chimed in "listen to your mom, we don't kick people". She then said "no, dad. I don't want you" all frustrated and grumpy.To me, this sounds rude. It also hurts dad's feelings and sometimes he sulks away, but for the most part we understand she's young and part of this is normal development learning boundaries and what not. But it sounds rude because she's talking back to dad when he steps in to correct her behavior or reinforce what I'm doing.On one hand it's great she is asserting herself and I don't want to teach her not to speak up for herself. I'm just not sure if this is something we continue to allow her to do/say and it'll work itself out or if we correct her not to back talk and reject dad. And if we do correct her, how should it be worded so she knows it's okay to assert self, but sometimes it's not appropriate. Am I making sense? Or should we let it go? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fXlLQ2

Reminder: Homework has a detrimental effect on childrens' health, negatively impacts test scores, and creates negative impressions of school.

"Overtired children complain and collapse. Exasperated parents cajole and nag. These family fights often ends in tears, threats, and parents secretly finishing their kid’s homework. Parents put up with these nightly battles because they want what’s best for their kids. But, surprise, the opposite is more likely to be true." And in the end, all of this effort causes lower test scores and a hateful feeling towards educationPeer reviewed content linked from the article:http://ift.tt/1p5YNrz via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fDAaUj

4-month old keeps putting his hands to mouth. OK? Not OK?

My 4-month old is currently exploring the world of drooling and putting everything to his mouth but really loooooves to put his hands (not just thumb alone) to his mouth. He could do it for hours if I didn't stop him. He has a pacifier but has recently learned to grasp and remove the pacifier from mouth and then continue on sucking on his hands. Giving him teething toys also, keeps him occupied for a few minutes (max) and then it's hands again :)It seems to me that the saliva is irritating his hands therefore I try to remove his hands from his mouth as much as I am capable and trying to distract him with other toys or activities.If anyone's baby has done the same thing, have stopped him/her or just let him/her have at it? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2hDMdS7

The "get in the car" argument

What's your favourite solution for this argument?It's time to go home and the kids don't want to. They brace against the car to not be put in, squirm in their car seats so you can't get the buckles done up and then they learn to release the buckles themselves and open the door themselves! Argh. Especially in busy car parks....I don't know about you guys but I never feel like I have a lot of negotiation room for this - sometimes when it's time to go, it's time to go!Ideas? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2x2U2D6

In search of quick healthy meal options for our toddler

Hi /r/parenting! My wife and I have very busy schedules which doesn't leave us much time to cook. We often pick our son up from daycare and then scramble to try and put some semblance of a healthy dinner on the table. As he's usually starving by the time we get him home, we often end up failing miserably and make him chicken nuggets, fish sticks, or a quesadilla as he loves them and they're quick to make. Since we desperately want him to eat healthier I thought this might be a good place to come and get ideas for meals that are fairly quick and easy to prepare. We would really appreciate any suggestions you might have!! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xCyDoz

Wife is going away for a 9-day work training, leaving baby and me behind. Worried that being away from Mommy might negatively affect our 1 year old. Thoughts/advice?

Although my wife and I take care of our daughter equally in many ways, there is obviously a bias towards Mommy (which I’m ok with). Especially her nighttime routine of getting ready for bed and putting her down, it has to be mommy! She also gets so excited when my wife gets home from work and I’m afraid it might negatively affect her being away for 9 days. We will obviously video chat everyday but I’m not sure if that will make it better or worse! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xCCCkV

Maternity leave

Hey all so I'm well into my maternity leave and am beyond lucky. I have until mid Oct that's when i go back. Well I went to work today and it killed me. Everyone kept asking when i was coming back and so i started thinking about it. Now I'm looking at my beyond perfect baby and i don't want to leave. I can't afford to stay home, but I love him so much that the idea of leaving him hurts my soul. How does anyone do this? I still have a few weeks but god im gonna miss him so much when I can't see him all day. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2yxYKtN

How do I convince my anti-vax girlfriend to vaccinate our daughter?

So I found out around the beginning of her second trimester that my girlfriend is anti vaccine, and will not be getting our daughter vaccinated.After 3 or 4 big arguments about the topic I decided to stop fighting and let her do what she will because I work 60+ hours a week and don't have the time or energy to spend fighting. Her sister has an 8 year old who I've been told is unvaccinated and my sister has a 16 month old who is also not vaccinated. All 3 of them have all the time in the world to do their "research" and find sources telling them that vaccines are horrible and dangerous and shouild be avoided at all cost.The crazy part is that my girlfriend was bit by a dog this past January and got the Tdap for herself then without batting an eye. Monday she'll be 41 weeks so the baby is due any time now and I knew I wanted to at least get my Tdap as well so that the baby is at least protected from pertussis for the time being, so I got it done today after work.After dinner she found out I had gotten it and didn't talk to me for the rest of the night until I mentioned I was going to sleep. Apparently she is so upset that she can't even sleep in the same room as me because apparently "I can research everything except vaccines which doesn't even make sense, I don't research anything really.I'm just so lost, I have no idea what to do. I just want what's best for my child but I don't have the energy to argue. What can I do at this point to protect my baby from her mom's poor judgement? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xCCwK0

Nothing like some Ella Fitzgerald

Came home from a long day at work and turned on Spotify and started playing some Ella Fitzgerald and Nat King Cole while dancing with my one month old in my arms.Told my wife to go take care of herself as she normally does when I arrive home from work/classes.Anyways, it's been five hours, wife is fast asleep and baby is falling in an out of sleep on the couch as I study.Moral of the story, if you're feeling a bit stressed out and want to make putting the young one to sleep a bit more fun.... "Dream a little dream of me" by Ella works wonders. Now I have both my loves dreaming.;)P.s. some Louie Armstrong will do the job as well. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xFcrrp

How important is environment for quality of life as kids get older?

I'd love advice from all parents, but especially those that have made big moves and / or raised teens.My kids are in middle school and heading into their teens. I've been desiring a major move in hopes of a better lifestyle but my husband is hesitant b/c we'd be leaving his family and everyone we're close to. I know if we're going to make a change it should be as soon as possible so our kids can establish solid friendships moving into high school and then college / careers.Where we live in Florida, positive aspects are: - Our assigned middle & high schools are fantastic. - Nice neighborhood w/ amenities and great neighbors. - Low crime. - We’re happy with our jobs. - Lots to do (theme parks, beaches, concerts, etc), if you can afford it. - Most of their grandparents, aunts & uncles are close by.Reasons I'd like to move: - School district: Ours is in debt & can't keep up with growth. State lawmakers continue to under-fund public schools, so we can’t afford to build more, or maintain the ones we have, which are getting full. - Dangerous roads: Some of the worst in the nation. Deadly accidents are a daily occurrence. Pedestrian / bike fatalities are among highest in US. My kids will be driving soon and I'm TERRIFIED to think of them on these streets! - Development: Local govt favors developers over desires of residents. Natural beauty and wildlife are dwindling. Large areas of land are developed but roads aren’t improved to handle the added traffic. -Sweltering summers: It gets so hot & humid that unless you're in the water you don't want to spend a lot of time outdoors. -Mosquitos and gators! Not the worst things in the world, but they do make being outdoors / in the water much less pleasant.My kids are open to the idea of moving away. My husband thinks we should stay here until they graduate high school. I feel by that point they’ll have jobs, college credits and / or important relationships that will keep them here, so we’d just be moving away from our kids!I’d love to be somewhere that we can enjoy outdoor recreation comfortably most of the time, where our teenagers can safely walk / bike to fun activities instead of sitting around getting into trouble, and where local government places emphasis on education and the environment. Do places like this exist?What do you think has the most effect on a child’s quality of life? Is it more important that teens have access to well-funded education, safe transportation and recreation, or that they have more opportunities to spend time with family? What do you feel makes the most impact on the choices your kids make and how satisfied they are with their lives at this point? I welcome your thoughts. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2k6nyXj

Funeral and a kid with death anxiety

Hi everyone.My godmother (who was 100 years old, go her!) just passed away. The funeral is next week.My six-year-old has...I wouldn't say "severe" but maybe "persistent"...death anxiety. A month ago he would randomly ask us at least once a day if he "would have a long life." A month or so prior to that he was convinced that any sniffle or cough was his throat closing up and he was dying.He hasn't asked anything like that in a few weeks, maybe a month. He's come to terms with it, at least temporarily.He loved my godmother (and was fascinated with her longevity; her 100th birthday was a major occasion for him, in part because he is very concerned about his lifespan).I'm not going to make him go to the funeral if he doesn't want to, and I'm happy to take him out of the situation if he gets uncomfortable while he's there, but I'm debating even asking him if he wants to go. There's part of me that doesn't even want to tell him that she's gone.(She lives quite far away, so we only see her a few times a year.)So, I suppose I'm asking for advice here. Should I tell him she died? Should I ask him if he wants to go to the funeral? One concern is that he held her up as an example of "people can live a long time" and I think he used that as a comfort mechanism for his death anxiety, so I'm hesitant to burst that bubble.Thanks. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xFqFZm

I created a visual packing list that enabled my kids to successfully manage their own gear on a month-long camping trip.

I created this before we took our four boys (aged eight, five, three and three) on a cross-country trip this summer that required daily repacking and unpacking.one page per kideach kid chooses their gear based on the listparent approves gearkid colours the objects on the sheet to look like their actual gearI printed a map on the backs, laminated them, punched a hole in the corner, and tied it to the handle of their overnight bags.The big kids were given dry-erase markers so they could cross off objects as they packed.It worked well. The only confusion came from forgetting they were wearing some items at all times. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xNO9h3

My 4 year old is scared of the Black teacher

Gosh, this is so embarrassing to type out. My 4 year daughter is talking a pre-ballet class and loves it. Twice now the teacher has been a sub, and he is a young black man. When then teacher is there she is beside herself and refuses to attend class.Some back story, Lily has always been a high needs child. Even as a small child she was terrified people outside of her family, and it takes her forever to warm up to new people. We haven't stressed about it too much, because we recognize that it is just her personality, and by slowly exposing her to more environments we hope she can built the confidence to enjoy new experiences and people.As for the reason she is scared of this teacher, when she was about a year old, my husband and I volunteered as youth leaders at a church. There is a group of young African Refugees who are very much teenage boys, and would try to get Lily's attention. The attention getting would eventually turn in light teasing, (and when I say light, I mean super light, saying "Hi" to Lily, and making eye contact would have her in dive her face into our shoulder.) So, I think she is building off these experiences. The Young man who is her teacher looks a lot like the Young Men from church.Here's what we have done so far, when she has these fits we calmly talk about her feelings. I ask her questions about why she is scared and what bad things she think is going to happen. I validate the feelings she is feeling, but I ask her if the teacher was mean, or yelled at her. I remind her that skin color does not make someone scary. It's a moderately effective conversion, but she has worked herself too far into a tizzy at that point to be calm enough to go back to class. My husband that sat with her and had her watch the rest of the class, then give the teacher a high five when class ended.We went to the library and checked out books about different skin colors, and some books that portrayed different races as happy family's. We've talked on and off all week how there is no reason to be scared. But you can tell there is still some hesitation in her eyes. I think this is just straight up irrational anxiety at this point(Which would not be surprising, as I have some social anxiety myself, mostly managed through CBT.), with a hint of unmanaged expectations (She is expecting a female teacher and has very little time to process the change.)Anyway, any thoughts or suggestions? Books or television shows? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2yb6SUT

How to deal with dogs and a toddler?

Preface: When I was 6/7 I was bitten by a dog. I'm not super afraid of them, but I get noticeably nervous around them. I'm actively trying to work on this issue. While also being hyper aware of warning signs from dogs.My DD is 2 and is nice ish with animals because we have cats.When we see a dog outside I ask the owners if it's okay if she pets them before letting her get crazy. Right now she knows enough to approach dogs with an open hand and let them sniff her before petting them. However, she no longer is willing to pet dogs when she used to love petting dogs. I'm super worried that it's my fault.I don't want her to be aggressive with trying to pet unknown dogs, but I also don't want her to be scared of dogs. I'm trying to find the happiest medium that doesn't involve me having a heart attack basically.I have absolutely no idea how to go about this so, I'm open to all suggestions that don't involve getting a dog. ( not because I hate dogs I just live in an apartment and would probably get kicked out if I added more animals.) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2k65c8J

My child wants "a man" to do everything for her?

I have a few problems right now with my 12 year old, but a big one is her new attitude about responsibility.I have always been a single mother. She has never had men paraded in and out of her life because I wanted her to grow up respecting relationships. I do not want her thinking men are for one night stands or to be replaced every month/year.Her father has remarried. He has a house, spoiles her rotten and is not the best father. She never hears the word "no". There are zero chores. She doesn't even know how to use their toaster.Because of this, she thinks I can not afford 3 computers, satellite TV, and McDonald's every night. Really, I just don't want her in chat rooms, watching Cinemax, and eating crap.Since she sees her father and new wife hand her all this, she tells me she can't wait to grow old enough to "have a man" pay all the bills, do all the chores, and that she doesnt need to go to college because her "husband will do everything". She has decided she doesn't need good grades because she is never going to college. She is never getting a job because "mystery man" is going to do it all.Every time I ask her to do a chore, this is her argument. She actually told me she already knows how to do the laundry so why am I asking her. That "her man" will do it when she's older.My ex does not lift a finger. This is why I divorced him. He is lazy and I'm guessing his new wife does all the cooking and cleaning just like I did.How would you approach this attitude? She keeps asking why I don't have a boyfriend and telling me "we" (yes we) would be happier with one. I am disgusted by this mindset and my ex will never change so I will not involve him.Edit: The one time I did try to sit and explain to her we do not have people in our life just to do what we want, she scoffed and gave me a "how do you know, you don't have anyone." answer. Awful. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fBHe47

Weekly - Things my kid said - to share all the things your kids say. - September 28, 2017

This is a weekly thread where you can share the things you're kid said to you that made you laugh/cry/go on a mad rampage.If you'd like to talk daily about things your kids say, feel free to visit /r/thingsmykidsaid via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xzpsoZ

Son (15) recorded classmates assaulting him. Is now demanding their expulsion (UPDATE)

My first post is herehttps://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/72qycg/son_15_recorded_classmates_assaulting_him_is_now/Well, the school expelled the students. My son researched his laws before hand and knew exactly what the our lawyer would say. He is basically untouchable because his demands are considered "reasonable". The school was backed up against a wall and they decided that they had no choice but to expel the students, or face the states school board and news outlets (apparently he had timed emails that sent out videos to newspapers, which have since been disabled) The video was also sent to the police and my lawyer, as of three hours ago, is helping my son build his case.We are probably going to pull him out of the school and look for a different one or homeschool. He is highly intelligent (he taught himself French last year, He likes their metal music) So I am not worried about the effects of it, I'm already familiar with the system as my brother does it for his three kids (heavily religious)I'm proud of and at the same time scared of him, he thought all of this through and seems to have beaten the school at every point. I don't know how far he will take his manipulative tendencies, if he was experimenting, if it will get worse or if he will move from goading to other points. If anybody has questions I'll try my best to answer, there was a lot of posts...a ton of them, and it's exhausting for me to type this out.Thank you for your help. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2k43lBo

(Rant) I hate that I feel like the bad guy for wanting to keep unvaccinated cousins away from my newborn!

Canadian Thanksgiving is coming up, and as with all holidays we're navigating how to not have our newborn around her 4 year old and 10 year old unvaccinated cousins.It drives me nuts and frankly makes me a little sad, that I've had to deny my older son time with his grandparents and cousins because no one else seems to think it's a very big deal.Guess I'm looking for stories of how other families dealt with this? And tips? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ybUzaM

How to talk to kids about divorce?

4,7,9 year old are soon going to be getting informed that their family is splitting up and may need to sell the house..: this will be a complete shock to them because we had previously guarded them from any of our marital issues there's never any fighting or yelling or anything like that…….Any resources that can help on how best to talk to them about this how to get them through this process? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fBpHJd

2y/o chewing on electrical cords- how can I explain to her that this is a Really Dangerous Idea?

My 2y/o really loves shoving things in her mouth. Like my keys. Or her other mum's wallet. For the most part, I take them off her, and explain that whatever-it-is isn't made to go in mouths, and might be made out of chemicals that could hurt her or make her sick.Last night I caught her behind the settee gnawing on the electrical cords there. I pulled her out, sat her on my lap, and said: 'You will get very hurt if you do that. It will be the worst hurt ever. You will hurt all over your body. Your head will hurt and your tummy will hurt and your feet will hurt. It will make you very sick.' Then I wouldn't let her off my lap until she could tell me why she shouldn't eat electrical cords....Naturally, later in the evening the electrical cord was back in her mouth.How do I make the lesson stick? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fT7Nys

My 26 yo son beats me up why

So has anyone seen this before? He’s a little developmental delay or something. Definitely anxiety and depression. He’s been terribly spoiled his whole life. He has some medical problems and I got him on disability last year. I literally gave up three solid years to concentrate on helping him so of course after 26 years doing this alone I’m broke and lost all my assets including marriage or actually any type of relationship. But to make him smile I’d do whatever. So why when he has such a loving nonjudgmental mom who would and literally lay down my life for him is he capable of putting his hands on me? He doesn’t punch me but he shoves me on the floor and chokes me. I should mention he’s 6’ and I’m 4’11”. To top it off he’s been sleeping with one of my friends who’s older than me and not attractive in any way and who I YHOUGHT was a lesbian for the last decade I’ve known her. And this grimy woman is having sex with my naive son and giving him meth and some other things idk. But she’s got a son too and she is putting mine in grave danger and actually encourages his actions. She thinks it’s great he threw me around like a rag doll. I realize he’s grown but I’m scared of him again since it’s been several years since he first pushed me on my face. Obviously I’m not anything he values. Should I turn them in and get him help or tough love and pray he didn’t end up locked up or dead? Advice me? This me first post so go easy on me. Pls via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2wYMReW