Child is friends with someone who is part of a family vlog channel on YouTube and was included in videos without my knowledge. Am I overreacting?

Throwaway for privacy reasons.My child is 13 years old and is friends with a kid who is part of a family vlog YouTube channel. The channel does well enough to where it is the family's main source of income.My child was included in two recent vlogs. Once during a sleepover and the other time at a dinner party. I was never notified that my child was going to be in these vlogs and I don't want my child in anymore of them. I think it's a tough age to be putting kids on screen and don't want to deal with any cyber bullying or anything that may come from it. My child's name was also mentioned in the vlog and was wearing a sports team shirt that had the schools name on it. I'm worried about privacy.First, am I overreacting? Is this not a big deal this day and age? I don't like the idea of millions of people knowing my child's name and where we live. How do I bring this up with the family without coming across as that kind of mom? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2kFKfiG

5 year old going through a phase where he's lying, stole from a gas station and now peeing on his bedroom floor.

My five year old son has been going through a phase (hopefully) where he's lying regularly. About even inconsequential things. The other day he walked to a gas station with me and was looking at some stone carved animals. I came home the next day, found it and confronted him about it. After he admitted it, we walked back to the gas station and I had him hand back to the cashier, tell her what he did and apologize. When we got home I grounded him. Took all of his toys out of his room, left him with one pillow and one blanket and some books. He's been doing an excess of chores while grounded.Yesterday, I come home and the wife tells me he peed on the floor in his bedroom. So we made him clean it up. This morning my wife found another wet spot in his room. He lied repeatedly about it being pee before fessing up to what he did.I don't understand, this isn't like him at all. He never has accidents, save maybe a dribble or something when he waits too long. I guess I'm not sure on how to discipline this and address.Any advice would be much appreciated. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2IZ8GpD

Couple's Counselor Told Me I am "Lacking as a Mother." Would Appreciate Some Feedback.

My husband and I have been fighting a lot lately. It's pretty standard stuff, so we went to couple's counseling for the first time today, and while it was helpful for our relationship the counselor also lowkey berated me for being a bad mother.We live in a small city in South Korea, so the only counselor available nearby was someone who specializes in children's language development and not couple counseling.Her main issue was that my son is 22 months old and cannot yet speak in full sentences. He can understand pretty much everything we say in daily conversation, and can say about 40 English words such as mama, papa, car, bulldozer, cloud, sun, moon, yellow, red, blue etc. and also 10 Korean words.When my husband mentioned this in passing, the counselor was visibly shocked and told me I really need to re-evaluate my role as a mother because I am "extremely lacking in effort." (She said this to me in Korean.) She told me that my Korean was really bad for someone who has been living in Korea for the last 8 years, and as a mother of a Korean child raised in Korea, I need to be doing everything in my power to make sure I am fluent in Korean...otherwise my child will not be able to communicate with his friends. (I don't think there were any racist or xenophobic intentions here.)I am Korean American, and I already worked really hard to improve my Korean. My Korean level is good enough that I can pass as a native Korean in terms of my accent, speaking, and writing ability...We had a 1.5 hour conversation with the counselor and there was literally only one word that I did not understand. I had never heard of the phrase 풋대접, and when I asked what this word meant is when the counselor went on her tangent about how I am a bad mother.Also, I am currently still breastfeeding, which the counselor found appalling.So I have three questions...Is it really that bad that a 22 month old boy can't talk in sentences yet?Am I a terrible mother for not being perfectly fluent in Korean? I am already "fluent" enough that whenever I mention I am not native Korean...people are shocked and say they couldn't tell.Is it okay for me to keep breastfeeding until 24 months?tldr: Am I a bad mother for not being fluent in the local language? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2slelvN

My 4 year old broke his arm yesterday...

He fell from monkey bars trying to swing like Spider-Man. He really tried to tough it out and act like he was going to be okay until that evening when he went to bed. He woke up a few times crying and his forearm was starting to swell. Went to the ER against his request (not a fan of doctors because of shots) and were there until 4ish in the a.m. He cried whenever it had to be moved prior to getting there and when we arrived he didn’t seem to complain much other then wincing in pain at times. The Dr. came in and began inspecting his arm after X-Rays asking him if where she touched hurt. I looked at her straight-faced the entire time she poked around and said it doesn’t hurt. Every spot she touched he said,”nope, not there either.” I began to think he was just over-reacting at home and he might not be hurt that bad. The Dr. left to get the X-ray results and I asked him if he was faking it at home. He said it hurt pretty bad, but he didn’t want the Dr. to see him hurt because he was tough and a superhero.The Dr. came back and dropped the bomb. She said he had a fracture in his forearm. Once he understood fracture to mean broken he looked up at me with tears in his eyes and asked, “Does this mean I’m not a superhero because my bone broke?” Oh man the feels... luckily Dad reads comics and was able to tell him about assorted heroes getting hurt in their stories and still being superheroes. I love that little boy more than words can describe. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2J7DAII

To my 1yr old son:

I love you so much. You brighten my days even when I'm most depressed. Even when you pull my hair and have a little tantrum in my face. You're so cute, and chunky. You're truly a blessing and I thank God every day you came home to me from the NICU. I'm crying right now writing this even though your next to me throwing all your toys off the bed. I love your chunky, soft cheeks. I love you so much and I want everyone to know that. Your mama. <3 via /r/Parenting https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/8nikuc/to_my_1yr_old_son/?utm_source=ifttt

Our life right now is insanely stressful. Bills, Bills, Bills, worry about the future, and our amazing son who is as good as we can hope.

To keep it short I'm not going to wallow on the stress of bills, but needless to say they are mostly medical right now. My wife had the health insurance and she switched jobs. Between the switch I had to get health insurance (which was horrible) through my work, costing me most of my paycheck for a month. There was a medical ER visit which cost almost 3k (and since it was on diff providors doesn't stay within our deductible for the new insurance, obviously, but still), then another required colonoscopy for my wife's crohn's, then her medication for Crohn's (3k and 1k, luckily those are going towards the deductible now).And to top that off we have CC debt that is partly our fault.I have a second job, though, and that is helping to pay that down, the goal is to get rid of the debt hopefully in the next 2-3 years so that we can start breathing again. But needless to say our life is very, very stressful. If anything happens between me and my wife where we couldn't work we would be royally fucked.And while all of this is happening our 2.5 YO son is so perfect and so wonderful, it breaks my heart that we have this looming cloud over us all the time while he (hopefully) is oblivious and happy. We should be really, really enjoying the time with him rather than worrying, but that's life I guess sometimes.I am trying not to let it show when around him, and really enjoy the moment.Not really looking for advice, just wanted to rant at how shitty life can be (even though we still have each other, and a place to stay, and decent jobs where we can at least enjoy our time with our son, it could be worse), and blow off some steam. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2J3WHDh

Weekly - Things my kid said - to share all the things your kids say. - May 31, 2018

This is a weekly thread where you can share the things you're kid said to you that made you laugh/cry/go on a mad rampage.If you'd like to talk daily about things your kids say, feel free to visit /r/thingsmykidsaid via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2J23a1C

My 9 year old wants to shave her arms and legs, I’m seriously considering letting her

My 9 year old daughter came home yesterday and told me all the girls in the class opposite hers (2 classes in the same grade, not the girls in her own class) make fun of her hairy arms and call her a werwolf.She’s pretty strong and confident but she asked if she could shave her arms and legs. I said no, but I’d think about it. I’m starting to think i should let her, but just her arms.I also had hairy arms when I was a kid and stole my sisters razor when I was 10 and shaved mine. I now have very fine and almost non existent hair on my arms. My memory might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure I only shaved my hair on my arms once.I’m concerned that allowing her to do it will encourage the idea that we can and should change our bodies when people say negative things. I’ve tried to encourage her to deal with the mean words in a way that won’t require she change herself, but she’s very resistant to standing up for herself.I’m considering it for a variety of reasons. I want her to feel happy and confident in her own skin.I want her to feel like she can ask me for things and I’m open minded to them. We’ve been having some trust and lying issues lately with her and I wonder if this will help.I’d like opinions on this to get myself an idea of if it’s a good idea or not. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2kBp7tL

Split with husband, moved cities and not letting MIL have son overnights due to mental instability. Am I wrong?

Long story short, left my husband due to mental/physical abuse. Anyway, his mother is a piece of work, she’s been diagnosed with Bipolar and doesn’t take her meds anymore because she’s “better now” (she’s really not). To the point where I’ve heard her fly off the handle at her boyfriend because he dares to disagree with her, or even react differently to a situation. And I mean, full-on rage, kick him out of the house. She even had his dog put down while he was out of province without his consent (I don’t know how she got the vet to agree to that, but there you go.)Because of things like this, I’ve refused to let her have my one year old son overnight because I feel it’s not a safe environment, especially when I’d be an hour away and she’s no longer speaking to my ex for a number of reasons, some not even remotely related to what happened between he and I. Im worried that she may freak out on my son because one year olds are taxing, and he’s currently in the midst of separation anxiety. Am I completely wrong and being ridiculous, or is this something that makes total sense? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2JioXFD

At what age do kids start skipping school ?

I was dropping off my kids at kindergarten just now and currently my kids are going to school willingly and with excitement but as I remember my days lol I don’t think it will always be like that. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2J46KfS

Does anyone feel like their child would be happier as an only child?

We are thinking about baby number 2. My oldest just turned 1 and we would love to have them pretty close in age. We know that doesn't guarantee closeness. I have the best relationship with my brother who is 6.5 years older than me. We want them close in age just out of preference.My husband and I are both close to our siblings. He's one of 3 and I am one of 4. We all argued a lot as kids but I know I was always glad to have my brothers and sister in my life.I was talking to a friend recently who said she is happy with having two but also mentioned that she thinks her oldest was happier as an only child and probably still would be happier as an only child. Her kids are farther apart in age.Is this common? I could never imagine wishing to be an only child. Is there anything parents can do to prevent their child from feeling this way? My siblings and I all have a great bond but I don't think my parents did anything to encourage that. It just happened. Is it just up to chance? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2ssa4WM

Lost my 3month old son to sids, ‘God’ finally told me in a dream why

sorry if posting in wrong forum, babyloss forum seems to be gone Also possibly triggeringSo It’s been a horribly hard six months for me since losing my baby. I’ve gone through every possible scenario why, in the grand scheme of things, would something so horrible happen to my family?Well the other night I had a dream that this man was speaking to me, kind of Robert Downey Jr. looking guy, in a white t-shirt, but I knew it was God coming to me in form of a human... He said “Do you have any questions for me?” I thought “finally you ask” and I said “Why did you take him? Why did you take my baby? And he replied “Because of the path he was going to go in the future. I took him from this life, so you can have eternity together..instead of having this whole life together, and being separate for eternity. I wanted to save him while I had the chance.”Needless to say I feel extremely depressed, resentful, but at the same time a sense of relief..I believe a lot of times dreams mean a lot and this meant a lot to me. But I’m still sad. But I feel like I kind of have an answer now.... via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2L9DXmx

Not prepared for savage mothers

So, I came into motherhood late - one and only child at 40 (she is 14 now). Something that caught me completely off guard: how vicious other moms can be. Over the years, we have had so many experiences that left me wanting to keep my distance from my daughter's friend's mothers. What is worse, is that they are friendly to my face. Later, I learn of some malicious words or actions on their part. I just don't get it. I really like kids, and I try to be warm, compassionate, and understanding with my daughter's friends. If one of them does something not-so-cool, I chalk it up to kids-will-be-kids, and they are still learning. Very seldom have I seen the same offered to my daughter. Further, I like to have a friendly relationship with the girl's mom. I extend invitations for get togethers, I try to develop a supportive friendship. I am careful not to monopolize conversation or over share (introvert, who is a listener over a talker). So many times, I think we have made a connection at some level, only to find out the other person had some kind of petty complaint against me - voiced to a third party - and I always seem to be told about it, despite not seeking it. Where are all the hippie moms willing to give another person a reasonable amount of slack? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Jki32B

5 yo cleaning/learning responsibility

Hate to be the strict disciplinary parent, but I have expectations for my kid to pick up their mess and do what they are told. My daughter is 5 and is a happy, sweet and mostly well behaved child. She likes to push her boundaries though,negotiate and question everything. She is the only child and she wants to get her way. I don’t blame her for this behavior, I think it’s intelligent. I just don’t know how to let her know that in my house she has to follow the rules. Today I yelled at her, put her on timeout and possibly tried explaining to her what was happening too aggressivly, because I noticed she covered her ears. It really petrified me. I really would hate to be the nagging mom 😞. Do you think she is too young to be expected to have to clean up, go practice writing and reading or do some other productive stuff I want her to do? I feel like I am harsh on her, but when I see other kids in 5 or 6 yo age range who are totally unsocialized Wild Wild West it scares me even more. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2IY8c3b

Older child throwing sand at my 8mo daughter.

I was at the park with my daughter and husband today, she was sat in the sandbox with my husband playing with the sand. A little girl who looked 4 maybe 5, came over to the sandbox and started throwing sand on my little girls head. She was wearing a sun hat which at least stopped it falling into her eyes. We told the girl nicely to stop doing it because it could end up in her eyes and hurt her multiple times, but she kept throwing the sand. Her mum was stood with her back to the sandbox talking on the phone. I had to approach the mum and tell her that her little girl was throwing sand at my 8 month old, the mum yelled at me for interrupting her on the phone, screaming "can't you see I'm busy?" I walked away without replying and took my little girl to play elsewhere on the park. How would you handle this situation? I feel really upset by it. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2skVVLL

My two year old is jealous of the new dog

She’s jealous of the new dog and not in a “I want the attention” way.No, she’s jealous that I pick up the dog’s poop with a pretty blue bag but I put her poop in a lame grocery bag.How dare I. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2xpZpll

When is a good age to get rid of a child’s dummies?

My little boy will be 1 in about 2 weeks time and I’m wondering if or when I should start to ‘wean’ him off his dummies/soothers/pacifiers. He doesn’t really use it unless he’s going to sleep or if his teeth are causing him more jipp than usual but I have no idea when’s a good time to start... via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2kCAKRk

I feel like my daycare is taking advantage of my coparenting situation and I can’t move my son out

I’m coparenting my 3yo boy with my ex husband and I’m stuck with this daycare that just sucks. They have had him in the 18month-2year classroom since he started even though he’ll be 4 in July. They charge me more because he’s in this baby classroom and now I feel like it’s affecting his behavior. At first, they said that they couldn’t move him up because he wasn’t potty trained when he turned 3. We worked on it and he’s been potty trained for almost 6 months. I took him on vacation for a week and he had no accidents the entire trip. They have him “visit” the older classroom during the day and they’ve continued to take new students into that classroom over my son. My ex refuses to agree to a different daycare even though I’ve offered to pay the difference myself and I feel legally stuck in this daycare without my ex agreeing to it. Developmentally my son is potty trained, can identify shapes and colors, counting, talking, etc right on track for a 3yo. But he does throw tantrums and he tells me he doesn’t like “school”.Is there anyone else that I can discuss this with over the daycare director? How do I report a daycare for overcharging me? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2JiJeuL

Weekly- Wallet Wednesday- May 30, 2018

This is a weekly thread where you can share pictures of your children and cute, crazy or awful things they have done. Please upload your pictures through Imgur and post the link as a comment. Feel free to share the context of the picture! If you are not a parent yourself, this is the place to ask us anything. Also, if you ever wonder who we are, click here to meet the mod team! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2suh7OW

Rant - sons father now pays less support for him as he’s moved in with his girlfriend who has 2 children of her own

Apologies for the complete rant but how can this be right? My sons father has has his maintenance payments reduced by 23% due to him moving in with his girlfriend who already had 2 children of her own! She receives maintenance from their father, which has not and will not be adjusted due to the change of circumstances, however uk law sees my sons father as now being financially responsible for these 2 children (not biologically his, and who have been 100% financially maintained by their mother and biological father for the last 10 years of their lives!) and therefore deems it appropriate that my son has less to live on! Am furious. Sons fathers reaction was I’ll spend the money on him on toys when he’s with me. Fantastic, but maintenance is about a contribution to the essentials such as a roof over their head, bills, food and clothing. 😡 via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2IWbPGH

My (35f) husband (45m) treats our biracial children differently. He favors the one that looks more white like him. What do I do?

Created a throwaway for this as it's pretty embarrassing for me to admit.I'm black and my husband is white. We have two children. Our daughter is my husbands twin. She is very pale, has straight hair and his nordic facial features. My son is a little darker, his hair is wavier and his features are more "ethnic."My husband is in love with our daughter. She is the older one and from the moment she was born, he catered to her. Our son is a totally different story. As my son got older and developed more color, he seemed shocked at how much browner our son was than our daughter. I remember him bringing up how different they looked several times with a twinge of disappointment in his voice. It rubbed me the wrong way but I just chalked it up to him wanting his son to look like him.Anything my daughter asks for, he gets her. He goes out of his way for our daughter, while our son is left in her shadow. He will bring our daughter to various outings and then claim he didn't bring our son because he's fussy. He's 3. Of course he's a little fussy at this age but seriously?? He's cold to our son, while being incredibly affectionate and sweet with our daughter. If there is ever an instance where we have to split up and each take one kid, even something as simple as holding their hand, he always, without fail, grabs our daughter. People in my family have noticed this too. I've tried to rationalize this to myself that maybe it's because she's his little girl, maybe because she's his first born, etc.I took the kids swimming this past weekend. My daughter, as pale as she is, is still half black and therefore tans very easily. By the end of the day she had a nice tan and when we got home, my husband was upset! He was like, "why didn't you put sunscreen on her??" In this annoyed voice. And I was like, I did, you can still tan with sunscreen. And he was like take her to an indoor pool next time and then used some BS excuse about the dangers of sun exposure. The thing is, he didn't say anything about my sons tan. He only showed concern for my daughters tan.I confronted him about it later that night and he acted as if I was crazy and totally brushed me off. At this point I feel uncomfortable around my own husband and I am starting to think I married a prejudiced man. I don't know what to do. My son is still young now but he will be able to pick up on this eventually. What do I do? I don't want this to ruin our marriage.tl;dr : My white husband favors the child that looks more white like him. How do I deal with this and make sure it doesn't ruin our marriage? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2soBjBy

Advice needed: toddler bed dilemma. Is 4 too young for a top bunk?

Hello!I have 2 boys, one is 2 yrs 4 months and one is 4 years 9 months. They currently share a room with the younger one in a crib and the older one in a twin bed.I noticed yesterday that the younger one sleeps stretched fully out.... and it means putting his feet through the slats at the ankles because he's too tall for the crib. Surely this can't be safe, comfortable, or good for his circulation. Aside from his dangling feet though he sleeps GREAT in his crib.. it keeps him contained and safe in the night and he doesn't complain about going in it, nor has he ever tried to get out of it.Eventually I had planned to get them in bunk beds but I am hesitant to put my almost-5 year old being on a top bunk. He often gets up in the night to pee and I'm afraid of his ability to use a ladder while half asleep.So I guess my options are....1) Leave it. Is the kid fine with dangling feet?2) Get a bunk bed. Will the 4 year old be fine?3) Get a low bunk bed or daybed with a trundle. This might be out of our budget.4) Get a second twin bed. This will require finagling the room around quite a bit.5) Separate them. We have a guest room with a full bed that my 5 year old loves sleeping on. It's painted a neutral color, and fully furnished. With a new comforter this would be easy to transition to a little boys room.Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2kC0NrK

Holy crow being a parent is hard

We've got a 5 year old that won't poop, he just holds it in. We've tried everything (doctors , rx, rewards programs) and a 1 year old.Man, it's a real grind- something's it's hard to be grateful for it all, though I am through and through. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2ky3OJo

Don't forget to teach your kids how to cook and have them practice.

I know it takes longer and they are messier, but once they get good you can not-cook and have them do it instead! Plus you won't be humiliated when they leave home and can't cook. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2H3mTfq

Night childcare worker demanding sleep changes?

I just moved for a new job. I get the dubious honour of shift work with 12 hour shifts. Day shifts are fine if hard on my 18 month old being away from me nearly all of the awake hours. I come home to a child glued to me, no breaks, no breathing room, nothing. We do what we can to make it through. It works okay for us.I will start working nights in a few weeks and my night/live in nanny refuses to get up with my kid at all, won’t follow my night routine, and demands my little person sleep through the night. My toddler wakes 1-3 times a night (for 5-10 minutes max) and usually falls asleep in my arms.The night nanny demands I sleep train my child to suit nanny’s needs for 3-6 night shifts a month. Everyone but the nanny loves current arrangement. Cannot change night nanny. Cannot get sleep training to work due to incredibly clever/stubborn toddler.Any successful sleep training recommendations? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2kyld4N

7wk old not eating? Constantly sleeping

My son stopped eating around 8pm last night (its currently 9am now) and he still hasn't eaten. I tried a dropper but he just spits everything out. Nothing is wrong with his bottle but he just wants it in his mouth to fall asleep, which he slept all night and all morning. That's unusual for him. Called the doc this morning (who also works at the ER) and he said he could be going through a hungry strike. Has this happened to anyone else? What should I do? He usually eats 3-4 oz every 2-3 hours during the day. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2sh9tIa

How can I talk to my kids about their dad’s mental illness and darker side?

I have two kids who are 11 and 12 years old. Their father and I split up when they were very young (less than 2 years old) so they never knew a life with all of us living together. Our relationship was chaotic, he was abusive ... sometimes. And an alcoholic. His presence in my kids life is sporadic, which because of his nature - I’m ok with. He has always done a good job of putting up a front when he does see the kids. And I’ve always painted him in a positive light because the kids aren’t around him enough to really see how horrible he can be.He is mostly an absent father except when hes in a relationship. He tends to come around a bit more, and take the kids for a few hours here and there with his girlfriend (which is all fine by me.) and he’s been in a relationship for about a year now so that means he’s been around the kids more. Anyway, he is suicidal. He has been for as long as I’ve known him. And the other day he sent my 12 year old daughter a long text message along the lines of “I’m sorry I wasn’t a better father. Just know that i loved you so much.” And she called him and he was crying and talking the same way then his phone died and she couldn’t reach him back. I was at work during this and my daughter at my mom’s. So I didn’t find out right away. Once I did I reached out to his girlfriend who told me he was passed out and it was “one of his drunken days.” I told my daughter her dad is ok and she breathed a huge sigh of relief. She was so worried and upset.I talked to his girlfriend for a while who told me she’s trying to help him but the abuse is too much, and it was like a flashback like I was talking to myself over 10 years ago. Since the time me and him were together he’s been diagnosed as bipolar, is still an alcoholic, and now also has an opioid addiction. (I just learned about the opioids and the diagnosis- although neither was a surprise.)I’ve been looking at him through rose colored glasses because I haven’t seen him much. Only the good side, this whole time. But he’s still abusive and controlling, and his girlfriend is scared. He involved my daughter by sending her that crazy text message. I don’t know what to do. She says He won’t get help, he just self medicates. I don’t know how to talk to my kids about his mental illness. I don’t know how to help his girlfriend.This all happened a few days ago and now everything is “fine” again. She loves him and doesn’t want to leave. He’s “ok just had a bad day” ... I mostly needed to tell this story but also if anyone has some suggestions on how I can talk to my kids about his mental illness. They adore him, of course... and I don’t necessarily want them to think negatively of him- but I do think it’s coming to a point where they need to know who he really is.My kids have never been with him when he’s had an episode like this. Like I said, his involvement is minimal... and that’s the real reason I’ve never brought it up to them prior to now. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GY1GUg

advice on how to sleep train?

My son is 8 months here is his schedule•6-7am wake up•8am baby food and bottle•9ish nap(maybe an hour and a half)•12ish baby food•3pm nap(maybe an hour)•6pm dinnerThen by around 7-8 he's tired and he'll go down until about 11. He wakes up anywhere from 11pm-2am then takes a 4oz bottle and sleeps until 6am.Sometimes he'll wake up at 4am but i'm thinking that's because he woke up at 11pm instead of 2amEdit: formatting via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2IWYzxv

Did becoming a parent make you a better person?

Being a parent has forced me to dig deep within myself and really discover what I truly value. It has forced my SO and I to start living a better life so we are good examples. Also, I actually love people harder and better after becoming a parent? I do more for the world because of the love my kids have shown me. I used to see stories of the neglected or abused and think, “Wow, that’s so sad!” Now, I am compelled to do something. Stories about abused or neglected animals, disabled, elderly, and most of all children tear me up. I donate more time and money to other people since having children. Anyone else feel like they are better people now that they’re a parent? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2sh1ivC

Weekly - Ask parents everything - May 29, 2018

This bi-weekly thread is meant as a place for non-parents and parents to ask questions to the community.Note - Remember that all questions and responses must adhere to our community rules.For daily questions see /r/Askparents via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2L4dGWx

How to make new friends? In Germany

So... I have generally been able to make new friends pretty well and I have also kept a number of pretty close ones. Good ones. Kind of the ones you want to see again and again. There are those who have kids and those who don't but whom we would still look forward to visit and spend time together.But we have moved to another country, Germany, for a year now, and we have a 4 year old and also a 4 month old... I am in my maternity leave at the moment and I am feeling a bit lonely. Missing some adult talk. Miss having a bit of a community. Also, I don't know the language that well, so it's even harder to connect. How do I find someone new to meet and talk about whatever? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2IXQMj8

Parents who did not sleep train, at what age and how did your children learn to go to sleep by themselves?

Also, when did they start sleeping through the night? Did you ever regret not doing it?By sleep training I mean any method, either gentle or crying it out. I'm curios about how it happens. I saw a similar discussion, but I would like to have some more details about the process. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2IV7gIQ

18 month old not talking or gesturing. Has ear infections but I'm unable to handle the stress.

Hi everyone. I think I'm being very over the top here but my stress and anxiety over this is affecting my relationship with others and my work at this point. I'm so tired I can't think straight.I have my first child, an 18 month old boy. He's an incredibly happy and energetic little guy which is great. For a few months now I've noticed the 'Dada' and 'Mama' babble has stopped. He's constantly blathering away with lots of sounds and tones all the time too which is good, I hope. He loves meeting people and I have literally never seen someone flirt with women as much as this guy. He's all clappy hands and smiles.However, I took him to our GP as he wasn't really responding to anything I said except when I'd sing certain songs he'd perk up. The GP noted both his ears have a middle ear infection and that there's a lot of fluid in is middle ear pushing his ear drum out.I made a STUPID mistake of looking up '18 month old not talking' and the Internet just returns about 100000 hits of AUTISM, ASPERGER and so on. Not much fun to see, but I know what the Internet is like. The GP has advised we wait about 4 weeks for the ears to clear. On one had I know the ears are a huge issue for his language, but he doesn't point or wave at all. He seems like he might be trying a bit more lately since we're just waving and pointing all day like complete lunatics. He does clap his hands and will do it as soon as someone does, or if he likes something. He doesn't really engage in play with toys, he loves running away and hiding and playing peekaboo on the move! He could run and laugh for hours like this. That's what I've been doing, but I think I should be playing more productive games with him. He's just so energetic and strong it's hard to get him to pay attention to anything really.I haven't slept a full night in about two months now worrying something might be very wrong with him. Everyone keeps telling me I'm being stupid and getting very angry at me which has lead me to lash out a them. This is not the way to go. I'm contacting the doctor / therapist for myself as this goes on as I definitely need help staying calm. I don't really know what I'm looking for here posting this I just need to get it off my chest, I guess. I'm totally frayed and no matter how much I tell myself I'm being paranoid I just can't rest or relax at all.Does anyone have any experience that was similar? Are there any tips or tricks I could use to help him out? Nothing is too simplistic or patronising. It's clear to me I don't know what the hell I'm doing and just waiting around does not help. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2LHaJfJ

20 month old screams for us to play lego

My 20 month old son is obsessed with lego. Which would be fine if he didn't insist that either Mom or Dad be on the ground with him 100% of the time when he's playing. It doesn't matter if we play or not (he "let's us", but as long as we're on the ground with him watching him play, that's sufficient). But when my wife is trying to eat breakfast, or when I just get home from work and need a minute to relax, it's really frustrating to deal with a screaming toddler knowing the only thing I can do is sit on the ground with him to stop him from screaming.We've tried setting boundaries (for example, neither one of us will ever get up from eating to play lego, and we explain that to him, saying something like "no, we don't bother people while they're eating") and we have tried time-outs a few times in extreme cases (he's so young so we just do a few seconds, just enough to get him upset) but I'm not sure he can even make the connection quite yet.One thing we haven't tried yet is taking the lego away, but I have the feeling he would still be screaming for it, he just wouldn't have a piece of lego in his hand while screaming.How do you guys deal with obsessive toddlers? I know this is fairly normal, but do parents just ignore the screaming? Give in? Time-outs? What else have you tried? My wife deserves a quiet breakfast more than anyone. I would love to find a way to get her back that one simple thing. It doesn't even have to be completely quiet, just not frantic screaming would be great. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2L6uD2J

Art wall success stories for the bedroom?

Anyone have successes to share with mounting low-VOC plywood on the bedroom wall for a child to throw paint, scrap chalk, glue a legos baseplate to or in other words wreck for the sake of art?Was thinking about researching mounting brackets and giving this a go, but wanted to hear your stories before moving forward with anything. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Ja60Fb

Are we being unreasonable towards neighbours? (Rant)

So we (wife, 14mo girl and myself) live in a block of flats and have some neighbours downstairs. Since we moved in they've been a bit picky with noises. Yesterday and today we had some arguments and I think they've been overreacting but maybe we are instead.Now, my girl is an extremely active baby. Never stops moving. She started walking over 3 months ago. She has a wood walker she loves to push around. Loved moving boxes and toys around and she does make noise. But she is a toddler, it's her thing.She's in nursery from 9 until 14. Eats with us, has a nap, plays a bit, maybe go to the park and she's having dinner / bedtime routine at 19:30. So in reality she doesn't have that much time at home. Not like she's 24/7 playing around.They were saying that we should restrict what she plays with because she's too noisy to which my wife told them to fuck off. Also, in Spain the hours where you can't make noise is between 8 and 22. I understand it's not super pleasant but what do they expect us to do? Tie her up? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2L3xc5v

10 yr old still wants to hold my hand

My son still likes to hold my hand when we are walking around out and about. Is he too old for that? Part of me likes it because you know he’s still my baby but on the other hand maybe it’s strange and I should try to put an end to it? I though a few years ago he would outgrow it but he still hasn’t. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2kwx6rT

Tip for argumentative preteens/teens:

Rule: “You’re allowed to argue as much as you want, but you have to type it out and print it for us.” When your t(w)een starts arguing tell them to write it out. Consider their opinions honestly. Having them write it out will improve their critical thinking and gives them the freedom to express themselves without talking your ear off. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2sepI94

How do you deal with kids who "cry wolf"?

My 11 year old son has been reacting to consequences for poor choices or misbehaving actions by saying things like "I guess I'm a bad person", which his Mother and I have both said is not true. He is very intelligent, and logical, and we have both noticed that rather than accepting the consequences of his actions, this is how he reacts and it seems to be trying to manipulate us into feeling sorry for him so that we won't stick with the consequences.Lately, he's used stronger language, such as "I am so depressed, sometimes I just want to kill myself". I am someone who has struggled and been treated for depression for years, so I'm particularly sensitive to watching for signs of actual depression, and I don't see those in him.He is a very happy, healthy kid with a great life, admittedly a bit spoiled as an only child, despite his Mother and I not being together since he was a toddler, and living alternating weeks at both homes.In the past we did bring him to a child psychologist just to make sure there was not something more to it. We went to two different ones on two different occasions. Nothing wrong was found.We are both trying to tell him not to use such strong words or try to react in this way, because it is somewhat like crying "wolf", and as per the saying "never cry wolf", if at some point he really is struggling with emotional issues or mental health issues, he will have created a situation where we may not be sure if the statements are genuine, or an attempt to get out of consequences for actions.If any of you parents have had similar "never cry wolf" situations with kids, I'm interested to hear how you've dealt with those situations. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GWvwsk

Someone threatening to call CPS on us.

We have a person living upstairs who just came in one month back. He has been threatening us that he will call CPS on us as our kids are making noise.To give background my elder son has autism and sometimes he does get excited and start running in home. The gentleman may be hearing this noise during the day time.kids are asleep by 9:30 pm.My son has been very quiet and that to level that he is even scared to open a packet before asking if it will make noise.This gentleman keep on repeating taht I should give my son some medicine to make him quiet or sleep.i told him I cannot as it is not prescribed by doctor. His reply is that you are not doing enough and find abetter doctor who gives him.medicine.which is not really the case.Today this guy who was drunk came and started complaining to my wife while I was in bath and then he saw my younger son . He saw him and shouted at him SHUTUP. The kids are scared like anything.Then he asked me if I am.citizen and then he told me if I know what is CPS and what he can do to us.He says that he knows a lot of people and has a cousin in some government post and he will show us what he can do.We are confused and truly speaking a bit scared as we have always been good and kept our kids very well. We have been giving and dedicating our life to make sure kids live in good way and now this gentleman is scaring them.like anything. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2sdkH0o

Starting Potty Training

Any tips and advice are welcome! I have a boy and we're not using a baby toilet, we're using one of those detachable seats that go on the regular toilet. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2LEwXzc

LPT: "I'm tagging out"

Me and my husband have a system where if one of us is getting stressed or overwhelmed. Or simply want to enjoy something distraction free we say "I'm tagging out" and the other will take over for a bit no questions asked. It also works in the context of "you need to tag out right now" if you can see your partner is getting overworked. And "I tagging in" if there is a specific fun thing you want to do with your child. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2seOs0X

Stop making noises. Just stop.

My ex and I split custody. We live down the street from one another so it’s an easy transition between the two apartments. Formally, the kids are with me Sunday and Monday night, with him Tuesday and Wednesday and then we alternate the weekend (Thurs, Fri & Sat). In reality, they go to whichever house they want to be at for the night.My oldest (10yo ds) is plucking my last nerve HARD. First it was nonstop arguing. Then it was loud, over the top laughing when playing with his 3yo sister, thumping around (we live in an apartment above people and he has been told about this countless times this weekend alone) and now he’s just making noises. This gets his sister going and obviously she’s 3 so she doesn’t just tone it down the minute she’s asked.He has ADHD but he took his meds this morning. He’s literally just being obnoxious. Idk what crawled up his butt today but it needs to dislodge itself promptly./rant via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2L2ilsc

My 6 year old too old for Laurie Berkner songs.

His grandma got him an mp3 player out of the blue. My son was so excited and hopping up and down told me "momma put some songs in this for me!" So i did and added kids bop songs and laurie berkner because...well...he's 6 lol. I hand it back to him later in the day and he happily starts listening to the kids bob ones but when he gets to laurie berkner he stops playing, pauses the song and comes up to me angrily. He then goes "mom...there's baby songs in here" And i go "you mean laurie berkner? you love her songs...you used to ask for them all the time" "yeah when i was a baby...those are baby songs mom..please take them out and put some country or rock or i don't know Bruno Mars instead..sheesh. Ok love you bye."I don't have a baby anymore... via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2J8bP61

Weekly - Stories from the week/end - May 28, 2018

This weekly thread is meant as a place to share stories that happened to us as parents over the weekend. Share good, bad, fun, not fun, etc. Also, if you ever wonder who we are, click here to meet the mod team! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2L1bgbf

Cutting Sugar Out of Breakfast. Wish Me Luck.

Somewhere along the way breakfast became an opportunity for the kids (6,3) to fill up on sugary cereal and maple syrup. Time to put a stop to that. Instituting a no sugar at breakfast rule. Wish me luck! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GYqonr

What should I do about my 6yr old kid playing GTAV while he's at his 5yr old cousin's house?

My 6 year old confessed to me this morning that while he was over his cousin's house yesterday (who is also 5 years old), they played Grand Theft Auto. I was not aware of what they were doing at his cousin's house but this is the second time I told my wife and my 6 year old kid that I do NOT want him playing that game. Look, I'm not that kind of parent. I get it. Video games are cool. I still play video games. I grew up on video games. I have a PS3 and I own GTAV but I don't let my kid play it or even see me playing it.....because it's NOT FOR HIS AGE.I was kind of annoyed that I had to have this conversation twice because this is the second time that he came home and told me that he played GTAV. My kid doesn't know how to lie and he always tells me the truth, so I know that he definitely did play that game. He told me that they were stealing cars and running over people and shooting police. This is not what I want my kid playing when he goes over his cousin's house. I told my wife this but the cousin's father is her brother (my brother-in-law) and she doesn't see what the big deal is, although she recognizes that this particular game is pretty violent and not for a kid as young as 6. Her reply was, "OK, he played it. So what?"If he wants to give his kid a PS3 at 5 years old and let him play GTAV, that's up to him but I don't want my kid playing that game when he comes over. When I went to pick up my kid, it took 20 minutes for my brother-in-law to answer the door because he was sleeping. So the only adult in the house at the time was fast asleep in the bedroom while my kid and his cousin were playing GTAV in the play room. I didn't send him over there to play video games for a couple of hours while his uncle took a nap.Am I out of line if I ask my wife to talk to her brother about this? Am I out of line if I talk to him myself? Should I talk to him about this or am I making a big deal out of nothing? The way I feel now is that I can't trust my brother-in-law to act responsibly when he's supposed to be watching the kids, and so I feel like I don't want to send my kid over there anymore. At the same time, I don't want to punish my kid and prevent him from hanging out with his cousin/best friend. Your advice is greatly appreciated. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GXlrv8

Husband just left 2.5-year-old son out in a neighbor’s yard to come home to get his water

My husband just left our 2.5-year-old son outside on top of a hill that is our neighbor’s yard for a few minutes by himself to get his water and his phone. He came inside and casually informed me that our son was by a neighbor’s house (maybe 1 or 2 minute walk but out of eyesight) away. I thought he was joking (because my husband thinks I am paranoid and thinks it’s funny to try to scare me), and I figured a neighbor was with him, since we live in a neighborhood where there are a lot of young families and they often play outside together with the parents watching, of course. I decided to get my hat and come back out with my husband anyway, and some other neighbors who were out walking with their kids asked us if our son was the toddler who was sitting by himself on the top of the hill. My husband said yes and that he had just gone to get his water, and as I passed them, I muttered that men are completely different creatures, and they smiled like, “Yeah, that’s pretty crazy.”To me, this is the kind of risk you just don’t take. Maybe the risk of something happening is potentially low in our neighborhood since there isn’t much traffic (it’s not a cul-de-sac, but the street is essentially a small loop), but I don’t know why you would take that kind of risk. I also don’t think our son 100% understands cars. And beyond the obvious risks of injury, kidnapping, or accident, it seems leaving a toddler out of your eyesight in public is something you could have CPS called on you for.Am I overreacting? I am kind of stunned. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2xozudQ

Verbal abuse or normal reactions

So, I’m not sure if this is the correct place, but whatever. To preface: we have 3 year old twins and 1 1/2 year old. She is a stay at home mom and I work full time.The issue: whenever I’m home, it appears that my wife has anger problems towards the kids and I don’t know what level of that is frustration from the end of the day or it’s not healthy verbal abuse/aggression. For instance, today after church everyone was crying and throwing fits, knocking stuff off the table, etc. and she started getting frustrated. I told her to go downstairs because I knew what was going to happen but as always she refused. The crying and such continues and, my son, who needs a bit of extra attention, is being the worst. She leans down and, while in his face, tells him that she’s so close to choking him and if he doesn’t stop crying, and just laughed. I got onto her because, in my opinion, you don’t tell a child you want to choke them.Believe me, this is not the first instance. A couple of months ago, my daughter threw and hit my wife in the face with a hairbrush and busted her lip. My wife got so angry that she was shaking, yelling and calling our then two year old daughter a little bitch and telling me that I need to get her out of her sight before she did something. I had to go lock the kids in the room with me because I was scared for them.Overall, she’s a good mom I think but she is so negative and gets frustrated super easy. She says things that aren’t appropriate to the kids, to me at least, and I just need outside opinions. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2sdaIIi

Which vaccine boosters should I get before visiting my brothers 1 month old?

Hi all you wonderful parents,My brother told me to make sure I had all my boosters 2 weeks before I travel to meet my new 1 month old nephew for the 1st time. I want to make sure he is completely ok with me being around his new baby.I have no records of my own immunizations but I know my mom took me to get everything I needed to go to school and I remember making a huge fuss about all of them. I also recieved a TB booster 10 yrs ago when I worked in an elementary school. Nothing since then though.Research seems to say get Tdap for sure. I might only need a td booster but just to be safe should I just get tdap since I don't have records? Is this enough generally? Its not flu season. I was vaccinated for measles but its making a comeback in California sadly so should I get a booster for that too?Thanks all!! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Ly5SO4