This post may be long, so I appreciate anyone who sticks around to reply. For context I just turned 29, I have 2 children who will be 8 and 10 this summer. I have been with my husband for 11 years, and have not lived with my parents since I turned 18. I'm a stay at home mom, and full time college student majoring in accounting, I am also a licensed cosmetologist. I have a really hard time sticking up for myself, and have pretty low self esteem and always have.First let me say, that my parents are decent parents. We never had much in life but I never hurt for anything either. My parents put their kids first for the most part. There was no abuse in life, but I have always had a rough relationship with my dad as he is kind of an asshole who is impossible to please and makes me feel like shit about myself a lot. Other then that I can't complain much. However, I feel lately that my mom is kind of controlling of me, and also not very supportive.First let me say, she spoils the shit out of my kids. She also babysits for me 2 days a week for about 2 hours until I can get home from college. I appreciate that she is close with my kids, and helps me with them when I need it. But I think she uses this to control me to an extent. I'm very close with my kids, and they are used to me being home 24/7 so they do not ever want me to go anywhere or do anything, and for the most part I don't. However, I do go out with my friends about once every 2-3 months, so about 4-6 times a year. Usually when I go out with friends my kids are are calling and texting me begging me to come home every 15 minutes (when I do go out my husband keeps them, not my mom). The last time I went out was in January to celebrate my best friends birthday. We went out to dinner and then back to her house to play card games. My kids called my mom and "told" on me that I wasn't home, my mom then proceeded to call me in front of my all of my friends and scold me and be little me for not being home when my kids wanted me there. It was really embarrassing, and rude. The last time I hung out with my friends prior to this, was Halloween.So last night, she gets a wild hair up her ass and decides my kids need to go skating for some reason. We just took our kids to sky zone last weekend and it was really expensive so skating wasn't on the list this weekend. When I told her no maybe I'll take them next weekend, she huffed and puffed and decided that she would take them if I wouldn't. Okay, be my guest. My best friend (the one who's birthday was in January) also text me and asked if I wanted to go to dinner and out for drinks afterwards. She just had a baby in March and hasn't done anything since her baby was born, so I was excited to have drinks with her as it's been about a year since she could drink. Since my kids were with my mom I went.This morning my mom called me a berated me for going out last night instead of taking my kids skating (again all her idea), and last night was supposed to be her night since Friday was her birthday (um okay I had no idea that you wanted to do anything last night, I also didn't suggest skating or tell you to take my kids that was all you). She told me I go out all the time and it's ridiculous and blah blah blah. I had to remind her the last time I went out was in January for only a few hours and had to leave because she called me to scold me. So now I am supposed to feel bad because she didn't get her night?She has also been making comments lately that make me feel bad about myself, for instance I have been in college for about 6 years. I realize this is a long time, but I've been raising 2 kids and working a lot of the time I have been going to school too. Graduation is on the horizon and every time I mention how excited I am to finally be done, she just makes comments like "yeah it's about time", "it's taken you long enough", "school is all you know how to do", "we are all good at something you just haven't found what you're good at yet". She dropped out of high school when she was a sophomore, and I don't think she understands how hard college actually is. Accounting is a tough subject, even though I know she wouldn't be able to begin to comprehend it, she doesn't act proud of me at all and downplays my college success thus far.I realize all of this sounds petty but she is really making me feel like shit about myself. As I mentioned I already have low self esteem, so it doesn't help when I feel a little proud of myself and she brings me right back down. I also feel like there are some serious boundary issues. When she tells me what to do, I just do it, but the reality is I'm almost 30 and she is not my boss. She doesn't pay my bills, and she doesn't raise my kids. She relies on me for help with finances a lot because they suck with money (always pay me back but I am bailing them out a lot). She helps me too (not with money) but it's not a take take take situation and I don't understand why she thinks she is my boss?How can I address this and make her realize that I am an adult and she can't tell me what to do. I also don't know how to explain to her that her comments about my achievements are really hurtful, and if she isn't proud of me or doesn't have anything good to say she should really keep it to herself. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2HAQORl
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