Being an active dad for ex-wife's second child

Throwaway account, because obviously.Long story short - my wife and I have a six-year-old son. Two years ago, she had an affair, and got pregnant from that. This was a very difficult time for me, obviously, and we are now permanently separated. There are some difficult moments between us but we're both trying our best to be civil.The baby is now one year old, and our son is absolutely loving being a big brother (as he should). The other father is somewhat in the picture. Me - I'm a very active father and I love our son, to the point where it's incredibly important to me that I don't treat the other kid any differently than I do my own. It's not that kid's fault, honestly. I don't want to hold his mother's actions against him. Why should he grow up knowing he's a love child and "not as good" as his big brother? That would be a shitty way to live life, so I don't want him having that from anyone, myself included.But the truth is, it's really, really hard sometimes. I'm doing my best to put on a brave face, but I really struggle some days. I look at him and it's a regular reminder of the pain I've been through as a result of my wife cheating on me and the demise of my marriage.I know this is really above many people's pay scales and it's an unusual situation. But I thought I'd put this out there and see if anyone else has had this happen to them, and tried to take the high road for the kids' sake, and how they were able to do it without going crazy.I know I should see therapy and I am actively looking into it. Just came here for advice and insight. Thanks all. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2FealB4