This will likely be all over the place, so thank you if you through this. I haven't truly gotten this off my chest and it's been quite a weight on me, this seems like a good place to vent. My daughter is 6 years old in kindergarten, and she is beautiful, extremely creative, smart and funny. She also has exhibited ADHD symptoms since she was a toddler (delayed talking, rocking, etc). Her original pediatrician was also a behavioral specialist, and he evaluated her prior to his retirement last year, and said she was "borderline" and advised that we see how she does adjusting to kindergarten (I should mention she's an only child who never attended daycare, and the preschool she went to was only 3 days a week, a couple hours a day). Kindergarten was to be the first time she was really in an all day, everyday classroom environment, so we were absolutely fine with giving her the space and time to adjust on her own.The beginning of the year was rough, my daughter is a hugger and was not only hugging kids too often but also squeezing them too hard. She also gets fixated on things staying the same each time she experiences them and gets really upset when that's disturbed (for example, if she walks into the room in the middle of a commercial she knows, she'd rewind the tv back to the beginning of the commercial because she has to see the whole thing, and gets really upset if she can't) She's had mini meltdowns in class if their routine gets switched one day, or if she's used to using a specific computer in computer lab and they assign her a different one. These behaviors are obviously off-putting to other children, and my husband and I try our best to correct, discipline, and redirect her innappropriate behaviors often and with consistancy. We did have the school fill out the ADHD checklists in the fall, and at our first PT conference "we" decided with her teacher that there had been enough small improvements to hold off on diagnosis and see how she continues. I wanted the diagnosis then, my husband was adamently against medicating her (I wasn't necessarily for it, I just want what's absolutely best for her and thought we should get the ball rolling on therapy) and wanted her to learn to overcome and compensate for her attention issues. I should have put my foot down, but it seemed to make sense at the time that if she was starting to improve without any sort of medical intervention, lets let her keep going at this pace.It seemed like she was doing better the beginning of the year, she was getting good behavior marks more days than not, I even got a call from her teacher right before Easter to tell me how advanced she was in her reading and how she's improved in her behavior. I was elated and proud, and then suddenly, less than a week later, it's like she started back over from the beginning of the year. A week ago I got the call from the school nurse, who had my daughter in her office after a meltdown that led to her picking furniture up and slamming and possibly throwing it. I'd never known my daughter to act violently up until this point. The nurse asked if we'd had her evaluated yet, I told her why we'd held off but that I would like to seek that diagnosis now. I have the updated checklists from 3 of her teachers and am waiting for her appt with the doctor.I came to the realization this morning that she has not been invited to a single birthday party this entire school year. In a class of 23, it seems unlikely to me that not a single child has had party where they invited fellow classmates. It seems more likely they told their parents they didn't want my child there. My daughter wants friends, but I get why other kids might not want to play with her. I'm so worried that there may already be a stigma surrounding her that will cause kids to avoid her even if her social skills improve. My heart feels absolutely broken for her, I don't know if she can tell yet that's she's different or rejected, but if she doesn't she will soon. We take her to the playground and other places where she can interact with other kids, sometimes she does just fine, other times I have to step in and remind her of what positive interactions are. Sometimes she just ignores kids that are trying to play with her altogether. She has trouble paying attention to and following rules. I've tried to teach her so many fun games, and it's like she just can't do it. I can't get her to play sports for more than a minute before she loses interest, I try to teach her card games and can spend hours just trying to get her to want to learn the basic rules. I've tried rewards/incentives, I've tried making a deal with her, I've even tried forcing her to sit and learn one damn card game and punishing her for not sitting when and where I told her to, just out of desperation. Nothing. What she does do is make up her own rules and can be a bit uncompromising with anyone else's input. She's definitely creative, but if I can't get her to play a simple game aside from memory or candyland, I can imagine how frustrated her peers get with her if they've tried to include her in something like that.I know I have to wait for the doctor to give an official diagnosis, but looking at the checklists the teachers sent home, it looks like her symptoms at school are even more severe than I thought, and I'm worried that even with treatment, whether simply therapy or having to put her on medication, she will always have trouble making and keeping friends, and even though I try to let the harsh judgment of other parents not get to me, I'm in for extra doses of critism for the coming years. And I'm just so worried about her lack of bonding with other kids. I'm trying to be hopeful that this will get better, that she can come back next year in first grade and be given a fresh start and that kids will forget they disliked her, but I feel like kids get less tolerant of the weird kid as they get older. I think my little girl is absolutely incredible, and I'm so scared that she won't see that herself because of how she will be treated via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2HucxX4
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