My husbands best friend chose to have elective surgery and his wife wanted to be with him, so she asked us if we could take their two children (boy 7 and girl 10) for two or three days and I said of course. She insisted to leave the car with us and I wasn’t sure why since everything is within walking distance from my house and I had everything I needed so I told her that we didn’t need the car. It would just stand out in the cold. But she dropped it off behind my back and her husband picked her up with their other car. My husband had no clue since I only told her this, and she gave him the key and told him that it was for emergencies in case something happened to the kids.Once we had the kids it all started. My husband works from 4 am to 8 pm so he wasn’t home to help out with it. The favors started. They asked me to bring his parents to the hospital (whom the husband wanted to be there for him during the elective surgery) in the morning, and then pick them up again at night. Each way is 30 minutes totaling two hours a day for the last six days. Then they would ask me to bring them fast food that they always seemed to forget giving me money for. (The parents, not in-laws. The in-laws were really nice to me, always).Their kids are on OTC medicine and when they ran out I had to buy more because the mom didn’t give me enough. I had to take his parents shopping, because they won’t allow them to have their second car and the wife refused to leave the hospital even though places where within minutes of driving. The kids are on their 6th day with us and I’m going insane. His parents are leaving tomorrow and they asked me to take them to the airport even though the mom and dad have been back home but the mom doesn’t like her in-laws so she doesn’t want to drive them. And the husband can’t because he just had surgery.And the kids: the broke my husbands Christmas present and then asked me if I could order them a toy while I reorder his present, they leave urine all over the toilet seat, keep throwing the toilet paper that they wipe with in the trash and I only ever notice it when the smell of poop is so overpowering that I check where it comes from and notice it in the bathroom trash can. I have to dig it out myself and keep throwing it away because I don’t know which kid did it and I don’t want to force someone to clean up poop if it’s not theirs. They ignore me when they feel like I’ve hurt their feelings (such as not allowing them tv in the morning, or buying them fast food). Their mother doesn’t allow them to wear the same clothes twice, including pj’s, and she didn’t pack enough so I have to wash their clothes daily so they have something to wear the next day.They smear toothpaste on my towels, throw their clothes into our living room, hallway, bathroom floors and where ever they decide to throw them after they change. The boy yells a lot. ALOT. He yells every time his sister says something he doesn’t like or when he feels like his feelings got hurt. I hate yelling in general so I always tried to get them to communicate rather than yell. They jump on the couch no matter how often I tell them not to jump or stand on the couch or throw things but they keep doing it anyways, they keep throwing my exercise ball, throwing things at my dog repeatedly until he goes into hiding, they even throw his bone at him. Not give, throw.They keep creating their own accounts on the tv when I’m not looking and refuse to give me the remote. I had to ask the boy over and over and over to give me the remote because I was too afraid to just grab it from him, after the 5th or 6th time of asking he finally handed it over. The mom also requires the kids to shower daily. Once I forgot and got talked to and she had me make her kids shower twice that day; meaning four showers between the kids. plus the one my husband and I take in the mornings.The boy throws food and the sister told me how nasty my homemade food was and how she couldn’t eat it. Their mom buys a lot of fast food and freezer foods. She dropped a bunch of that off for the kids before the husband had surgery but it soon ran out. My husband and I don’t eat these types of foods, so once we ran out of that food we gave the kids our homemade meals. I found the girls hairbrush in our bedroom, caught their son brushing his teeth in our bedroom and jumping on our bed. He took a 5 pound weight I use to hold open a heavier door and started rolling/throwing it down the stairs. I thought it was a child that fell and ran to the stairs just to see him with the weight he took. I keep trying to be patient. I tell myself it’s ok. This is normal. This is what it’s like to have more than one child.The mom refused to leave the hospital and stayed with her husband day and night because he was uncomfortable being alone. He wanted his parents there also and made them stay with him from early morning until late at night sitting in chairs. (They flew in from another state because he asked them to be present during his surgery and hospital stay)They weren’t allowed to use our “friends” car (or any of them, they have 2) so I drove them everywhere. The mom just kept asking for more and more and more and I couldn’t get myself to say no to any of it because her husband was in the hospital. I figure once I drive her in-laws to the airport and bring her kids back home it will all be over. The mom and dad are already home but they wanted to get some rest without the kids so the kids stayed another night.The boy keeps farting and burping and does it proudly. The girl said “screw you” to me while I was playing a game with them as well as my child. She was losing and I was winning and I think that made her upset. When I told her that it was a terrible thing to say, she said that she didn’t know what it meant. I told my husband that I felt overwhelmed and incredibly stressed out, and when I told him of their behavior he says “they’re just kids”.I feel used. I don’t feel like a friend to them. I feel like an unpaid babysitter, cab driver, delivery person, and maid. The mom wanted coffee from her house while she was with her husband in the hospital. She also wanted hot water. Her in-laws made her coffee and she dumped it out at the hospital because it was too strong. Then I made her coffee from my house and she told me that it was way too strong and she couldn’t drink that so it was thrown out too. Then I had to grab more things daily, a pillow, then some shoes, her underwear, his underwear, etc.I admit I’m the kind of person who hates confrontation and hates fighting so I choose not to. My husband is her husbands best friend and I don’t want to do anything that could hurt their relationship. I haven’t told their mom anything that’s been going on or how I feel because her mother in law made the mistake of snapping at her two children when they wouldn’t get dressed so we could go drop the in-laws off at the hospital. The mother in-law told them repeatedly to get dressed and they did it as slowly as possible and just ignored her until she snapped at them. The kids told their mom and she got really upset saying how dare her MIL snap at her kids. No one talks to her kids like that.I’ve been doing everything in my power to be nice to the children and dealing with everything so that they won’t tell their mom that I’ve done something that she wouldn’t like. As stupid as it sounds, in a way, I’m afraid of her. I just want peace between everyone.But I feel overwhelmed and angry at myself for not standing up for myself. I feel like a total loser whose incapable to saying no because I don’t want to hurt anyone.I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I don’t want the children to sleep at my house anymore. I don’t want to do any more favors. After this, I would just like to be left alone for a while. I’ve babysat before but never this long and never with the additional type of responsibilities. I don’t feel like a friend to them, I feel used.I’m sorry. I needed to vent. Thank you for listening. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2srwdZw
No comments:
Post a Comment