I just lost it on my kid. How do I deal with this behavior?

My son, age 7, has a stroke every time I ask him to do anything helpful, no matter how tiny. Example (and reason for writing) he was laying on the bed and went to get up, and one of his brothers toys started to slide to the floor. I said “(son) grab that toy, I’m afraid it will break if falls to the floor”. Son says “it’s not my toy, it’s (brothers)”. I say, raising my voice “will you just grab it?” He loses it- starts shouting, aggressively throws the toy to the center of the bed and then stomps over to his little brother and starts to “whisper shout” threats and other abuse straight into his brothers (4) ear.This is what happens every time I ask him to do anything, no matter how minor. “Son, can you hold this for a second?” “Son, can you carry this in?” “Son, can you grab the cups off the table?” You get the idea.He has “chores” that he surprisingly likes doing, like laundry, emptying the dishwasher, scraping the litter boxes. But anything extra is met with huge spoonfuls of over reacting, disrespectful, belligerent, aggressive behaviors like refusal, shouting, stomping, throwing, bad language, etc.So today I flipped out. I was in the process of folding all his clothes when he had a tantrum and I dumped everything on his bed and told him I was done doing anything for him. I said this family has no room for selfish, rude, disrespectful children. And then I slammed the door basically in his face. I regret this reaction, but I am only human.So help me help us. He is really too old for the “sticker chart” mentality. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/37h8GJc