Our son is 14. He's always been very challenging. When he was 6, it became increasingly apparent that he was not neurotypical due to his behavior at school. He was refusing to listen to teachers and was throwing things in the classroom. He was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. Due to those diagnoses, he was put on medications, we started therapy, and he was moved to a classroom for special-needs children with a smaller student : teacher ratio. However, he was also struggling in the special classroom. For the next academic year (his grade 2 year), we decided to pull him out of school and homeschool him so that we could focus more on therapy, and try to find his optimal learning environment. We also signed him up for a soccer league and violin lessons so that he could continue to have opportunities to be around other children and adults.Homeschooling was just a nightmare. He refused to cooperate with me or do the schoolwork. He would hide away in his room, screaming at me about everything. His extracurriculars were also a nightmare. I dreaded Saturdays, the day he had soccer practices and games. Asking him to put his uniform on would incur an earth-shattering tantrum. He didn't even spend any time on the field in the last season we enrolled him due to his tantrums, and when we told him that we wouldn't be enrolling him again, he threw massive tantrums about it for weeks afterward. He still brings it up today sometimes. We continued with the violin for a little longer than the soccer, but again, it was quite painful. Practicing was a daily battle, and he was always unfocused during lessons. Luckily, his teacher had the patience of a saint, but we still decided to quit eventually because we were just wasting time and money.For his grade 5 year (he was 10 at the time), we decided that we would put him back into public school. Homeschooling was getting us nowhere. His return to public school was, to say the least, bumpy. He began bullying and harassing other students, and was catching a lot of suspensions. At about age 12-13, when he hit puberty, we got a whole new set of problems. One is his personal hygiene. He does not understand the importance of daily showering. He refuses to brush his teeth and wear deodorant as well. We basically have to put deodorant on him every single day, and of course it's met with resistance. Showering is a daily battle as well. At this age, he also became interested in girls and sex. He began making uncomfortable and predatory remarks and advances towards girls, and the school termed him as a predator.Now fast forward to the present, and his issues are worse than ever. He's doing illicit drugs, sneaking out at night, cutting school, and having sex. His social, emotional, and intellectual maturity is well below what is considered appropriate for 14 year olds, although he does test in the gifted range for academics. He's also refusing his mental health medications as well as therapy of any kind. I have no idea what to do anymore. I'm afraid that he's going to somehow get in trouble with the law, and he won't understand it due to his mental health issues. I feel like I have failed as a parent. He's my only child, and we've tried everything within our scope to help him. What should I do now? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2MENzsz
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