I hate being at home

I used to love being in my home. It was cozy, well-decorated, lots of goodies in the fridge and cupboards. Not immaculate but always neat and organized.After I married and my husband moved in keeping a beautiful and peaceful home was a bit more challenging, but manageable. We both have careers and earn equal money. He’s messy but I had the energy to deal with it. He didn’t like the more expensive city lifestyle I enjoyed so we moved to a more suburban area. The commute is much easier so it’s not the worst thing, but at times I miss my old lifestyle.We now have a one-year-old daughter. I love her and am excited for the parenting journey ahead; but now my home is total chaos. It’s never quiet because my husband insists on blasting these You Tube kid cartoons constantly. Every toy she owns gets thrown out all over the floors in all the rooms—not by her, but by my husband—so she can play. If I start picking up toys in a room two rooms away from where she is (a room that also has toys everywhere) my husband complains and tells me to leave her toys alone so she can play with them.My husband is OBSESSED with making sure she’s eating. She eats more than enough but he wants her to eat ALL THE TIME. It gets to the point where she’s screaming and he’s screaming at her and forcing a bottle in her mouth. Today after an epic struggle to get her to take a nap my husband started washing some dishes as loudly as possible because he wanted the baby to wake up so that—you guessed it—he could feed her. There is nothing wrong with her weight (not under or over the average, according to her pediatrician) but my husband is simply obsessed with her and food.At all times she must have some kind of food in her hands. Both hands. Whether it be a torn up piece of bread, crackers, a piece of tortilla, string cheese, whatever. She doesn’t really eat them so much as just tears them up and leaves crumbs and chunks of food all over the carpet. I go around picking them up constantly and when she’s thrown out all of whatever snack she had my husband will be right there to put more in her hands.My husband also thinks that the baby is always cold. He dresses her in a million layers and puts all these blankets on her. He also turns the heat up so much that it becomes uncomfortably hot in our apartment. I’ll go in and check on the baby to see her sweating like crazy. I have to walk around wearing practically nothing and at night I can’t sleep because it’s so hot in the bedroom.Additionally, I’m not allowed to keep doors closed. This has more recently become an issue because we used to have an elderly cat and needed to keep all the bedroom door open for her. The cat sadly had to be put down recently. Since then I’ve tried closing the bedroom door so I don’t have to childproof that room at all times, but my husband doesn’t like this. He tells me “it’s her [the baby’s] house and she can go wherever she wants.”Today I had to go into work for about an hour. When I was done I was actually disappointed I didn’t have more to do because it was so quiet and peaceful.This is not the life I want. I’m trying to work with my husband but he is so unreasonable and stubborn. He is manipulative and likes to distort facts. He’ll throw up a straw-man or just plain insist something isn’t true no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary. This makes working out solutions very difficult. We are in couples counseling and it’s helping, but slowly.It’s especially hard because I’m the mom and if I complain about my husband or vent about parenthood what the people I am talking to seem to hear is only how “helpful” my husband is and how “involved” he is with the baby. Most people react in ways that suggest they’re thinking: “wow she must hate being a mom—how selfish! Poor baby!”I have good days and bad but the holidays have been a struggle. I’m ready for routine to come back and to go back to work.Thanks for reading! 💗 via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/39m5X34