For the parents out there suffering with PPD, please please talk to someone!

When I had my son 3 years ago I suffered with postpartum depression. At first, I thought it must be baby blues, because it got a bit better after a couple weeks.I was still EXTREMELY anxious over everything. I couldn't sleep when baby slept at all, I was constantly crying, mood swings, no sex drive. I thought maybe because I was a FTM, all parents must go through this.He grew to be about 4 months old, i had no desire to play or hold him. I only did it because I had to- fuck sometimes I wouldn't even do it.When he was 1 and 1/2 was my lowest point, and he was a late talker. The combo of my lack of patience and understanding coupled with his inability to tell me what was wrong made me full blown despressed.Until he was a little over 2, I couldn't even fathom the thought of having another baby. It was so so so hard to decide.In the mix of all of this, my depression almost faded away. It was still there most days, but they were getting better.I got pregnant.I stayed up all night the first night I found out. I was fucking terrified.When I had her, those familiar feelings started coming back. The anxiety, sadness, anger. I couldn't go through it again, I went to my doctor and just broke down. He said my best course of action would be therapy and some support groups. (Antidepressants can transfer through breast milk)Taking care of a baby when you're not depressed is a whole new ball game. I can't believe motherhood can be like this. Of course it's still hard but every day I don't go to bed feeling guilty or sad. I never wish PPD on anybody, it makes you feel completely helpless and am so thankful that I got help.You are not alone, please please talk to somebody (dads too!!!) If anybody wants to send me a pm, I'm all ears. I wish I had somebody to just talk to at my lowest points. Happy New Years and I wish all you moms and dads the best! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2QCfudL