Hello folks,My wife died back in June leaving me as a single father of 3. I've been scrambling to get everyone everything they need and settle us all into some sort of new routine, and things are starting to be stable. My boys are 4 and 8, and my daughter is 11. The older two have been seeing a therapist and there's a grief camp coming up next month that I think they'll find helpful. I started this thread to ask about the 4 year old's bed wetting, but every time I draft it more and more stuff keeps getting mentioned so I figured I'd turn it into a general request for advice and chance to ramble about a few things that I don't really have anyone to discuss with IRL. I'm having a hard time organizing it, so I'll just throw out a bunch of chunks and hopefully people can chime in if they have something relevant to say about a particular point.My wife had some chronic medical issues and had been in poor health for a while, but her death took everyone by surprise. She hadn't made any preparations or recorded any messages... I was floundering for the first few days. My wife's cousin came up to stay with us for the rest of the summer and helped with chores and babysitting and getting things back on track. She has a bit of an abrasive personality and I disagree with some of the ways she disciplines children... but she was really close to my wife and really cares about the kids and went out of her way to help us so I made excuses for her. Then she spent $1000 from the GoFundMe she'd set up for me on the memorial website and didn't tell me about it until I confronted her about what was going on with the money. Now I keep her at arm's length (she lives several hours away) and let the kids talk to her occasionally when they ask, but I'm not sure how I want to handle that relationship long-term.My finances are fairly stable; I'm in my 30s and I have a decent IT job along with VA disibility and I'll be making a separate post to r/PersonalFinance to make plans for the life insurance. Writing a will and drawing up a care plan for the kids is high on my to-do list but I haven't gotten to it yet.I can't support the same sports/extracurricular schedule that the kids did last year, but I have them enrolled in the local YMCA gymnastics program for twice-a-week classes that I might move up to three times if the budget and schedule allow. It's hard to strike a balance between my job, housework, and getting the kids as much exercise/social time as I can. We also go jogging together around the neighborhood.The 8 year old is on the autism spectrum (high functioning) with sensory processing issues. He has an IEP and gets speech therapy and other services through the school district. We've been trying to keep him in a normal classroom but he had to be moved to special ed classes for a few months last year due to behavioral issues. He's doing a lot better overall, but he has had some problems with aggression and not listening to teachers and we have an IEP meeting later this week to talk about it. He's very sensitive to things he perceives as "not fair" and often tries to correct other children's behavior himself instead of getting an adult. When he gets upset things are VERY black and white for him and anyone who tries to stop him hates him and is being mean.The 4 year old had been doing fairly well with using the toilet, but in the past few months has been wetting the bed a lot and having occasional accidents at his pre-K. I'm not sure what I can do for him and beyond limiting water intake at bed time and reminding him to use the toilet before I tuck him in. Buying pullups seems like a big step backwards but I'm not sure what else I can do aside from cleaning up the mess and hoping he will stop on his own. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2ztF9yc
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