Thursday 27 September 2018

Overheard wife admitting she sabotaged birth control to get pregnant with our 2 week old daughter.


I'll call myself John for the purpose of this, and Jack her sister in law's husband. And before someone asks why I don't have a vasectomy, we are not in the US and you can't legally get one in my country before 30 unless you already have 3 children. I do not turn 30 until next year.Baby was down so I told my wife I was going for a shower and shave, and she said she was going to Facetime her sister. I said OK. I was in the bathroom for a couple of minutes and then realized I forgot the shaving cream I bought and it was in the bedroom. Went to get it and walked in on the conversation."Just do what I did if Jack refuses to consider a kid - stop taking the pill. John would have never agreed to change his mind so I did what I had to do".I quickly backed out of the room and neither of them realize I heard.I feel so angry, hurt, and betrayed.What I thought was an accidental was her intentional deception.I will be honest. I didn't want to be a father. Ever. And she knew that. We married with the agreement that I never ever wanted to be a father.But I thought it was an accident. And she said she just couldn't bring herself to have an abortion. So I tried to be supportive and whatever even though I knew I didn't want this. I thought it would be OK when the baby was born.I expected to feel this rush of love when she was born, but I didn't. They handed her to me and all I felt was this crushing reality this really wasn't a nightmare. One of the nurses noticed the look on my face and asked me later and I admitted to her "I know I'm supposed to feel this rush of love, but I don't. She's just this.....blob" and the nurse told me it is normal for fathers to not bond straight away.I just had to change her and I just looked at her and felt.....angry. I was indifferent before but now I am just angry at her for existing. I'd never hurt her because it is a baby but all I could think was "you shouldn't fucking be here, you're here because she fucking lied and deceived me, and now I'm stuck dealing with your literal shit".It has been 2 weeks and I have been really hating this. The lack of sleep, lack of time, my wife's moods, everything about it. I feel trapped.I look at my wife and I just want to walk out right now. I don't love her after this.I am a lawyer, so I know how it all works. Even if I could get her to admit to what she did in front of a judge, I am still on the hook for child support for 18 years, longer if she does University and it will be a lot since I outearn her. I can't believe she is allowed to get away with this deception and that the law doesn't let people decide for themselves.What is the best way to leave without completely fucking the baby up. I am hoping it is what I want to do - just sign over my rights, try not to scream while having to cut the liar her check, and just......never seeing them again.She wanted the baby so much, she can have it on her own. I never wanted this and she knew it all along. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2NKBSTU

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