My (29f) and my husbands (27m) kids , who are 3f and 5monthsM are going to start daycare and preschool next week. My daughter has been attending Prek 2.5 hours per day through school district but now she will start going to another one after that. They both will only be at their school from 8-3:45/4...but until now my parents have watched my kids. They will still be watching them on Wednesday’s.My parents (55m/53f) live with my brothers (27.28.31) and none of them get along with my husband. They also don’t like “conditions” on them when they have my kids, which was 5 days a week before this. Therefore, grandma felt it was ok to give my daughter cookies/brownies/etc every day and never concerned herself with whether a meal or snack was healthy or not — because she was with grandma so how could I expect my mom to do that?? Lol (sarcasm)- they also spoil the crap out of my daughter — she has more toys at my moms house then any kid has anywhere. I’ve mentioned many times that it’s not okay— she’s not a grandma every day if she’s a caregiver full time. My family disagreed and continued to buy her ridiculous amounts of toys. Whatever the kid wants she gets.I feel guilty because my terminally ill brother who lives there kinda fights for his life bc he wants my daughter to remember him. I feel guilty bc my mom and dad were distracted by my kids and it helped them find happiness whenever they were with them. I feel guilty bc my daughter loves going there and is very close to them.But it’s best, right? It’s not good for her to go there 5 days a week, right — or am I being horrible. I’ll admit I also feel hurt when she cries to see them every weekend or weekday night. Yeah I’m kinda jealous, I love how close she is to them and that she has close relationships but I don’t think it’s helping her in ALL respects. And that’s not why I’m doing this. I’ve felt this way for years with my daughter — I always keep myself in check and remind myself that if they spoil her and do whatever they have to to please her, of course at 3 she will prefer them over me.Also, my mom told me I’m keeping my kids away from them on the weekends (she was seeing them 5 days a week at that point) — bc we spend weekends as a family — and tbh they don’t get along with my husband and started problems whenever things got better. And like, I want time with my kids that doesn’t involve all of them bc my kids are already always there.Now they have them one day a week. Am I being too drastic? I feel guilty ALWAYS when something I think is right isn’t seen as right by my parents and brothers. They see this as me punishing them — but it’s hard not to do this when they legit feel as important as the parents, refuse to meet my expectations with what she is eating, being spoiled with toys, etc. so I feel like they get one day to spoil and be grandparents/uncles. Is that too little after it was 5 days a week?Ughh — I do give them the option of coming to swim practice and karate during the week too though so I’m not just cutting them out completely the other 6 days.Do you think my kids would benefit more from one over the other emotionally/socially, etc?Tldr: putting my kids in daycare and Prek but I feel guilty because my family feels I’m “punishing them” since they used to watch them 5 days a week. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Qfg9A6
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