My 5 year old just started kindergarten. We started him in their jump start program to get used to it and he did fine. First couple weeks of actual school, he also did fine. Than he had a major tantrum where he kicked the teacher.. that was my first phone call home. I was horrified. I had a long talk with my son when he got home, took away his t.v. privileges, made him write an apology letter and he showed genuine remorse. When we went to school the next day and his teacher walked by, he dropped his head and apologized and told her he felt bad for hurting her. The rest of the week was fine..Than, I started getting phone calls every other day.. the principle and vice principle were calling saying they had to use restraint and seclusion because he was kicking, throwing things and one occasion tried to BITE!we started working with the school counselor (who is a wonderful woman!). She asked me how we handle this behavior at home and I told her.. we don't.. because he doesn't tantrum like this at home. I explained he kicked a few times when he was 4ish. But that stopped fairly quickly, we use time outs as punishment and take away t.v./tablet privileges and his junk food snacks (like chips).We talked for 45mins and it felt like she didn't believe me.. my son was a violent monster at school - he had to be one at home.We worked out a plan to try.. Maybe he was hungry, so I started loading him up with protein breakfasts and stuffed his lunch box full of snacks and dense foods the school would offer him thru out the day. Maybe he was tired, so we tried to make him sleep as much as possible before school. Maybe he was using "pre-corrections" to decide how his day was, so we stopped saying "don't kick or throw things today at school" and started saying "have a fun safe day at school and be extra kind to your friends and teachers!"The next 2 weeks I got calls every day from school. Some days to pick him up early, the rest to let me know my son had thrown chairs and trashed the classroom in his violent outburst and had to be restrained and put in seclusion.Finally they called me last night, the vice principle and counselor and said we are only allowing my son to attend half days at school and needed to be picked up by 11:20, right after lunch. No recess. No math. And that they would try slowing adding on time to the day and go from there.I feel completely defeated.How can my 5 year old child.. who is so sweet, kind, and helpful at home be a totally different person at school. This is the kid that picks up his room with no fuss, does chores, listens SO WELL to me, asks so nicely and accepts no so easily (most times, sometimes he argues but than its over) even for things he really wants.. he behaves just fine on outtings, at crowded stores, parks, ect..But I don't feel like anyone who doesn't know my son believes me. His father saw his behavior on the last day before they called me.. and his father called me in tears. Saying he didn't recognize the child in the seclusion room, screaming and kicking. So angry and violent. He said he had never seen our son behave that way. Our son wouldn't even calm down for him. He just screamed to go away, called his dad stupid and kicked the door..The school wants us to find a counselor for him, and offered some resources and wants us to start correcting this behavior at home in the same manner they do at school so there is consistency.... but they don't believe that at home he is a perfectly normal little boy and we don't know How to correct this when it isn't happening at home.I have even tried making him mad at home just to duplicate it.. to no luck.He was playing with his blocks. I told him no blocks today, clean up. He asked why. I said because we are not playing with blocks today. We have to work on math (the class he gets upset in most of the time). He said "okay" and promptly cleaned up and sat at the table.. and waited.. we worked on math for about 30mins. He asked if he could play now, I said no. Clean up on your room. He said okay and did it. He came back, asked if he could play now. I said no. It's lunch. He said okay and sat at the table. I fixed a meal I knew his disliked. He whined a bit. I said no, this is what we are eating today. He looked so sad, but ate it anyway.. after that I just gave up trying to make my kid have a meltdown and let him play for the last hour of the day..Has any other parent experienced anything similar to this? Does my child just not respect anyone at school? Is something mental going on?I feel like nobody who can help me believes he is a good child at home.. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2NKK06E
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