Hello!A few months ago I introduced our 8 year old to the game Stardew Valley which is basically an open-ended farming sim where you can socialize with the townspeople, get married, have your own farm, etc.She instantly became obsessed with it. It was the first thing she mentioned in the morning and the last thing she talked about before going to bed. She started eating meals as quickly as she could so that she could ask to play the game afterwards. She talked about it nonstop to anyone who would listen (her aunts, grandparents, etc). She stopped wanting to go places, she just wanted to play the game. We tried to have boundaries in place, but the constant pleading and "just one more hour" made it difficult and my partner caved in a lot more easily than I did.In just a couple of months she had played nearly 80 hours of the game. I put my foot down and told my partner "I think she should stop playing this game, I think it's becoming a big problem" and he finally agreed. We told her "you have played 80 hours and we think it's becoming a problem for you. You need to take a long break from this game. In a few months from now perhaps we can try again"Since that conversation a few weeks ago, she has asked 50+ times about Stardew Valley. Every day, 5 times a day, she whispers in my ear "I was wondering if I could play some Stardew Valley" and we tell her no.Then she started trying to manipulate us. She told me that her dad said 4 weeks ago that in 4 weeks she could play it again, and so it's time to play. I asked her dad and he said he never said anything like that. Things like that.So this has been going on for about a month now. Despite her not playing the game for nearly a month, she doesn't seem any less addicted or obsessed with it. She asks about it constantly.So, today she got home after being at her grandma's all weekend and literally the first thing she says to me is that she has to tell me something really important. She seemed nervous and for about 10 minutes wouldn't tell me what it was. I started telling her "hey no problem, whatever it is I won't get mad, you can tell me anything, etc etc" she tells me she's too nervous to tell me and she wants to write it down in a notebook. At this point I'm getting really nervous like, oh hell what happened.So finally she hands me the notebook and it says "I miss Stardew Valley" and then she told me that Stardew Valley is all she thinks about, that she watches Youtube videos of Stardew Valley during library time at school, that she wants to have a farm when she grows up, etc.I patiently explain to her again that she's taking a long break, etc. She asks me to go talk to her dad about it. I say OK.I explained to my partner what happened and told him that I think she shouldn't play the game ever again, or at least for a very very long time. He sort of agreed but was also like "I mean, what's the harm if she plays it again but for short periods? We can set limits like a couple of hours a day" and I told him "no, that's what we tried to do last time and she ended up playing 80 hours in barely 2 months and it consumed her life!"So we sat her down and explained to her what it means to be addicted to something, using ice cream as a metaphor, and how Stardew Valley has taken over her thoughts and she lost interest in doing other things, etc. We told her that she's not going to play Stardew Valley ever again, and that's it, no means no. She got extremely upset and began crying with her face in a pillow. This is a kid that never cries and is never upset. I've literally never seen her have a temper tantrum of any kind, even when she was 3 or 4.She's calm now and that's where we left it.I have no idea if I/we handled that correctly.I mean, I played loads of video games as a kid in the 90s but they were all games that had a clear beginning and end. So even if I played them 10 times over, there was a point that I got bored and the game was done. But this game is just endless. It's designed to be addicting and can go on forever and ever.And it seemed like it was truly affecting her emotional wellbeing at home and at school.So... did we do the right thing? Or should we just let her play it and have very strict limits? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2N6O3Fj
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