Its good to have a husband who's got your back all the time..

I just kind of wanted to get this off my chest. I've been having really rough couple of weeks with my two children. The first month of school's been REALLY rough on the two of them. My 1st grader has been having a hard time adapting to the new rules, more classwork and less playtime 1st grade offers as opposed to kinder where all they do is basically play. He's a smart kid so i don't worry about him academically. But his whining on a daily basis wears me out. Hes a whiner about homework, so i have to sit with him and help him every step of the way every night. He whines about having to go to school. He whines about not wanting to wear jackets when its cold out. He whines about wanting things we just cant afford. I've spoken to his teacher about how he acts in the mornings and she says when hes in class he is a happy kid. That she doesn't notice him having problems with anyone but will keep her eyes out for anything. My son says he is not getting picked on and his teacher is sweet and nice. He just hates school...This Monday was particularly rough because he decided that morning he was going to loose his sh*t inside the school and refuse to go to his classroom, this was the third time he did that to me since school started. The first two times however i managed to get him to stay. He cried and latched onto me and no amount of coaxing and bribing, hugging, being stern, or having the staff come to talk to him could convince him to let me go or to stop crying. The staff told me they couldn't "force him to stay" by holding onto him and pulling him away from me. Its against the law apparently. So I had no choice but to defeatedly after half an hour bring his butt back home. I even made an angry frustrated post about it that day but deleted it after i got a bunch of mean comments on how i didn't deserve to be angry, how it was weird that i was angry instead of concerned (even though i was sad and concerned for him too), how its not about me etc. I had a long talk with him and showered him with love that day after initially having him go to his room until both of us cooled down and he and me came to an understanding that we couldn't keep doing this everyday. How i was trying my best and i will continue trying to help him. But that school was not an option. Its mandatory. And if that meant him kicking and screaming to school everyday then so be it but id rather have nice mornings with him. We talked about his friends, developed strategies on how to make new ones. Told him id get him enrolled in extra curriculars he wants to do. And his demeanor about it all changed to a more positive one thankfully.My younger daughter adores and looks up to her older brother. She copies his mannerisms and the way he talks and unfortunately even though she told me this summer she couldn't wait for pre k has picked up his ugly attitude towards school and is letting me know about it as well..Because Monday was her brothers day to act out...and Tuesday (yesterday) she decided it was going to be her turn! It was pouring yesterday morning. I'm walking with them with umbrellas, book bags and my purse in tow all while holding two little hands and making it through the heavy rain. I drop off my son and then go to hand my daughter over to her teacher and my daughter looses it. And just like her older brother latches onto me like a flea and starts crying hysterically that she doesn't want to go (her second time doing this). Again, the teachers inform me they can't physically grab her to pull her from me. So i have to convince her to calmly go to her teachers. But shes having none of it. No amount of hugging, talking to her or even bribing can convince her to calm down and its just crying and crying while i'm standing there defeated while parents and staff giving me side glances as they pass by. I had no choice but to take her home. So basically monday, my son didn't stay and now tuesday my daughter didn't stay.That evening when my husband gets home. Dinner is cooking and kids are playing so i go into the bathroom with my husband and i tell him in private that i feel like i'm failing them because they're both not happy in school and both "hate it". I feel like i am failing on making sure they're happy well adjusted kids and i admit i got emotional and began crying from frustration and feeling overwhelmed while talking to him. I tell him i just want a day where they both walk happily to school and not cry and act so fucking miserable about it. How i'm afraid of how tomorrow (today) will go. And i imagine one of them will act out, or maybe it'll be BOTH doing it and ill be outnumbered. How i can't keep bringing these kids home with me but short of tying them to a class chair, can't get them to stay put and not follow me.Today my husband surprised me by staying home and said he scheduled a physical today with his doctor but luckily the appointment is at midday so he can walk with me to drop the kids off and see first hand how they behave. He walks calmly with me and the kids. My son's cool as a cucumber (he usually doesn't act out in front of my husband as much as when hes alone with me..). But my daughter begins tearing up and whining from the get go. So i start playing I spy with her to get her mind off her morning anxiety. Once we are at the entrance my husband preemptively puts her book bag on her to have her ready and carries her up the stairs to her teacher. And in one swift movement kisses her head, puts her down and holds out her hand to hold the teachers hand and walks out the door He didn't linger, or talk to her, just speed walks back out of there. It was so fast i literally didn't see him walk back out until he was right behind me going "ok done". I looked at him in amazement at how fast he did it. In my head i go "why didn't i think of that?" I peeked to see how she was and she was crying next to her teacher but my husband goes "do NOT go in there, she will be ok. DONT let her see you, come on lets go" while grabbing my hand. My husband even begins friendly chatting it up with the staff while i'm amazed at how calm and level headed he can be during times like that... And sure enough her teacher later in the morning sends us updates that shes doing great. We got home and my husband makes me coffee and i tell him i'm going to use his method from now on and not linger one second more than i have to, just quickly hand her off until she gets used to the routine. He says he believes i can do it and i got this. I'm feeling calmer now than i've been for the past couple of days. I'm just having one of those days where im sitting back thinking and realized that my husband never judges me or makes me feel bad over stuff...just always helping me when he can. It feels good to know someones got my back all the time. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2ORufYl