Our friends need help and don't know how what to do or ask

We have some neighbor friends that have a 2 and a 3.5 year old. I am a parent of 3 kids 2,9,13. They are great friends and we really enjoy hanging out with THEM. Their kids are screaming, disobedient, hellions. I believe that it is not the kids' fault and its the parents fault as they don't know how to properly parent and discipline their kids. You can see it in their children eyes that they know exactly how to manipulate them by throwing tantrums and outbursts. Additionally, we have a mutual Nanny friend that babysits for them and has been able to "lay down the law" with the kids when babysitting and they shape up. Which further leads me to believe that the kids have figured out how to get what they want by acting up. She has told them what she does, but they don't seem to follow suit. It's seriously affecting their relationship and its obviously affecting ours with them as well. We live in a small town and as a person who has no problem seeking counseling, the best counselors are nearly all booked and not taking new clients. (I just looked for my 9 year old). What is some good reading that I can suggest to them or any other suggestions to approach this situation with them? It's obviously a touchy subject to approach with friends. Why is helping so hard to approach sometimes? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2F3npgr