My newborn son was born last week on 2/15. My wife had a perfectly normal 38 week pregnancy until that day. She was experiencing constant cramping. When we got to the hospital, the nurse knew something was wrong immediately and my wife had an emergency c-section in a couple of minutes. My wife had a placental abruption. I was told our son was gray and not breathing when he came out. The doctor tried to resuscitate him 3 times. On the 3rd time he was able to get a heart rate.The doctor immediately suggested a form of treatment called brain cooling. I agreed immediately. My son had to be transported to another hospital which supports the treatment. My son is currently still there.The past week has been a roller coaster of emotions. Each day seemed to have a glimmer of hope and a crushing detail which left us hopeless and defeated.Here is a brief timeline of our son:1) Made it to new hospital safely2) Experienced a seizure shortly after. He was given one dose phenobarbital3) Mommy is stable at other hospital. The doctor believed that if we arrived 15 minutes later, my wife may not have survived. The doctor was also shocked that my wife didn't need a blood transfusion and almost broken down telling her.4) The brain cooling treatment last for 72 hours5) After 72 hours, they warm up our baby over several hours and see how he responds6) There was no complication after he was warmed up and he had no additional seizures during the 72 hours. They monitored his brain waves during the entire cooling process.7) They were able to remove his breathing tube and he pooped! This was when we started feeling really hopeful that maybe everything would be ok.8) They tested his feeding reflexes. He had a very slow gag reflex and no rooting. The specialist informed us that he would get treatment 2 times a day to help him root. This includes feeding him with a pacifier with some of mommy's breast milk. They are also given his throat electric stimulation to help exercise the muscles. This totally crushed us and made us realize that he will be at the hospital for a significant amount of time and there will be a long road ahead of us for future developmental events.9) The doctors performed an MRI on our baby's brain when he was 1 week old. The results came back as moderate Infant Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy (HIE). My wife and I were crushed. The doctor voice cracked as he was speaking. He could see the pain in our face.10) There was an instance where our son may have experienced another seizure. I was there. They told me that they wanted to prescribe phenobarbital for a year. I really didn't feel comfortable about this because it wasn't a confirmed seizure. I let the doctor know that I wasn't comfortable with starting him until he has at least one more confirmed seizure. When I look at my son's eyes, he looks completely aware and normal. I did not want to sedate him until we really had to. The doctor was open with my suggestion and agreed.He cannot be released from the hospital until he can breathe on his own and feed on his own. He is still getting some assistance with breathing and he is far from feeding on his own.I have been trying to get as much skin to skin between my wife and I and 4 people which I can allow visitation rights. My brother, sister, and I are not 100% healthy. This only added to the frustration. It is good my wife is not sick and can visit our son.Zooming out, I am trying to figure out what we can do. My wife and I are haunted with guilt. I was very open to my wife about this. When I am alone, I have haunting thoughts of guilt. She told me that she feels the same way. We are going to try to talk to a social worker to find out how to help with this.We also have a 3 year old daughter. She is an absolute angel and I don't not know how I could handle it without her. At night, she will sometimes crawl on me and sleep on my chest or face. It makes the pain go away. I do not want her life to be negatively affected by our son's needs. But I am starting to realize that might not be possible. I am trying to figure out ways to minimize the effect.As I am reading more about HIE. It has a lot of information such as the potential burden on time and money. They even have a life plan calculator to try to estimate the financial burden. This left me overwhelmed.I am trying to deal with the day-by-day status of our son and getting him as much skin to skin as possible, making sure my daughter feels loved and still gets quality time, making sure my wife is ok emotionally, the long term effects on our family financially and time wise.If anyone can provide any advice, or positive energy, I would really appreciate it. Thank you. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2BPziF5
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