This is mostly just a rant. I really love my mom, she's been my best friend for a long time, but recently things feel like they are changing. She visits me once in a while, and I have noticed her last two trips here have set me really on edge (hasn't helped I've been in the throes of PMS for her two most recent trips). I have become very defensive when she is around.She's very critical of my parenting, so I'm an impatient and snappy mother when she is here. I yell at my 4-year-old son way more when she is around, most likely from the stress of being observed and silently judged. I'm also just generally in a bad mood and I've even spanked my son a few times. She believes that my son's behavior would be better if I was spanking him. I don't WANT to spank him and I feel like she's judging me and thinks I'm a weak mother because I'm not beating his ass when he steps out of line. My sister spanks her kids, but that's her parenting choice. My mom is always talking about what my sister is doing with her kids and thinks I should model my parenting after her. Her older child is 6 and younger is 3. The younger is a sweet boy and the older one was a major problem and still is sometimes but he's chilled out a lot since he turned 6. He was a terror at 4, so I am feeling like my mom is just forgetting what a shit my nephew was at 4. She believes the spanking is what mellowed my nephew out and I think that it's his age. My nephews are good kids, but so are mine. My mom raised 4 girls, and spanked all of us, but I really got the worst of it all because I was the eldest and really horrible and out of control.I love my mom, but I've noticed that since she went home a few days ago I am still feeling angry. In the past, I always missed her when she left, and this time I was glad she left early.Here is an example of my ridiculous defensiveness: I sent a text to our group (my 3 sisters and mom) iMessage with a photo of the shower remodel we are doing in our master bathroom. I had laid 7 rows of tile today and mentioned that I laid the tile on the right of the shower, and she made no other comment than "why?" I told her "because it seemed fun and I wanted to?" and her response was "Isn't that [contractors name]'s job?" And while it may seem harmless, I was really angry and offended that she couldn't just say "Cool!" or "that looks nice!" I'm really REALLY defensive around her and I want it to stop, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be angry, or snap at her in texts over totally stupid stuff like the above mentioned conversation, but I'm still feeling resentful that I was feeling so on edge that I got angry enough to spank my kid while she was here. This is unhealthy and I don't like it. I don't really know how to communicate this either without her feeling attacked. I know she's not trying to be an asshole, she's just recommending I do things the way her generation did them, but I don't want to do it that way and she's super stubborn.Sorry this got long... I'm just... figured other Gen X parents would be on this sub and might have experienced similar. I do not want to go NC with my mom. That is not an option because we are a very close knit family. I'd rather figure out a way to work this out somehow. She does not take criticism well though so I am not sure how to approach this subject. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2CFXdn1
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