(Cross posted from r/askparents) My grandson is in middle school and has a friend who started coming over for dinner a few months ago.At first it was just one every couple weeks (it’s not at all uncommon for the kids to bring friends home) and since the grandkids eat dinner at my house two or three times a week, I’d met him.Then he started coming over a few times a week.Then he started sleeping over.Then he started sleeping over a few times a week.Now he’s practically moved into my daughter’s house, who’s already feeding several kids of her own.The kid expects homework help, he tags along on grocery store trips, and is even content to be dropped off with my grandson when he’s at band practice (his friend doesn’t play an instrument) or when they’re watching his sister’s volleyball tournaments.Another thing that’s got me concerned is, the first time the kid stayed consecutive nights, the third night was at my house. I remarked to my granddaughter “It’s great ‘grandson’ and ‘Warren’ have become such good friends.” And she said “They’re best friends. He’s slept over three nights already.”I asked where his parents were and she said he hadn’t spoken to his parents since he got to the house.I was worried the parents thought he was somewhere else or with someone else because it’s unusual for a kid that age to go so many days without checking in with their family.I gave them a call and they essentially said “Who’s calling?” And I said “It’s ‘grandson’s’ grandmother. Just wanted to phone and give you an update that ‘Warren’ is doing fine.” And there was a long pause, and they said “You’re whose grandmother?” I repeated my grandson’s name and they said “Oh. Do they go to school together or something?”I was stunned. They didn’t sound relieved to have found their son, so they didn’t think he was missing. They weren’t irate thinking he was with a relative or at an after school program. And they didn’t know the name of the kid their son had been spending half his time with.We’re all growing seriously concerned. My daughter and son and law have been to their address a couple of times but nobody ever answers the door. They’ve stopped taking our calls. And their kid is now in his 12th night with our family.Not only is my daughter tearing her hair out, but even my grandson, who’s such good friends with him, has told his father in confidence that he’s sick of ‘Warren’ and desperately wants some alone time.We’ve considered just telling him we’re taking some family time and not bringing him home, but my daughter worries they’ll just call child services if nobody comes to pick him up, and feels responsible because last we spoke to the parents they thought he was spending the night with us (they did not let on it would continue into so many nights.) I’ve told my daughter that’s not her problem, it’s theirs, and she should just leave them a phone message that she can’t take him tomorrow.I don’t feel responsible to host him indefinitely in our home, but I do feel we’re responsible to be sure this situation is brought to the attention of the proper authorities. We explained it to his teacher, but he was pretty unsympathetic and unresponsive to the whole thing. I’m thinking of notifying the principal.My daughter keeps worrying because she has more kids who’ll go through this school, and a few of her son’s cousins are also attending. So she doesn’t want a reputation as abandoning a child in need.If you were in this mess, what would you do? Thanks!tl;dr: A friend of my grandson’s came for a sleepover and never left. It’s been twelve days. His parents won’t answer their phone, messages, or come to the door when we knock (even when they’re clearly home), and we need to do something.We went to the boy’s teacher but he was completely unhelpful. My daughter is hesitant to just leave him at the school in case he’s put back in a bad situation, but is reluctant to contact CPS without talking to the parents. (They won’t talk to us.) any advice appreciated. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2sUkuSp
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