Validating my son's emotions leads to extreme tantrums. What am I doing wrong?

I've been trying to do better about validating my 4 year old son's emotions and helping him name what he's feeling, but it seems like almost every time I do, it blows up in my face.Like just now, I was nursing the baby and his dad was starting a shower. Our son was playing legos. A wing of his plane feel off, and he said something like "it broke" and started making some small whiney noises (What I would call fake crying). I call over the couch something like, "that's frustrating!" Almost immediately the small whiney noises turn into full blown cries and he starts running around the house. I try to modify my strategy and say, "Wow, you're mad! But how does this crying help you?" Doesn't change anything, now he's throwing himself around and hitting me. Finally his dad comes out and asks what is going on. Son calms down and tells his dad that his legos broke. Dad goes and fixes it. Son decides that the legos won't break again. I tell him that they probably will break again, and that if he has another tantrum about it I'm going to have to take it away until he can have help. He plays with them for a little while longer while I try to nurse the baby again, then decides he's bored. When I ask him what he would like to do instead, he yells, "Don't talk to me! Don't say anything!"This whole time I feel like I had a normal, nice tone of voice, and I tried too copy exactly what How to Talk so Kids Will Listen said I should say. It's also not like I wouldn't have helped him put his plane back together if he had brought it to me. I do sometimes nurse the baby on the floor near him, but with all of the new toys around I don't have the cushions set up, and he mostly doesn't need help, so I figured that being on the couch would be fine. This is not the first time that I've gotten this reaction, and other than me naming his emotions, there doesn't seem to be a common thread (it's not always while I'm dealing with the baby or when he's playing by himself). This is the exact opposite of the reaction I was told to expect, so what am I doing wrong? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2q16Lrt