How to create a happy, healthy environment for our children?

A few months back my husband (J) and I (A) (with input from our children) decided to move from the state we were in to the state we were from, 9 hours away. We had lived in the current area for 7 years. Our second child was born there and both of our children were close to my parents, who also lived in the area. While my parents aren't perfect, they did a lot for us and spent regular time with our children.We were a bit stupid with the move. We didn't have any savings. My husband had a job lined up, though, and we were going to stay with his mom (Je), step-dad (R) and step-dad's brother (F). We left most of our things behind, apart from sentimental items. This had a lot to do with our apartment at the time having a bedbug problem.At first it seemed great. But eventually, things declined. Je complains about money and family members frequently. She still finds it necessary to buy useless shit and give in to every person who whines.R has major health problems, including cancer issues. He says he has a job and will bring in money, but that rarely happens. He drinks the day away and smokes at least two packs of cigarettes a day.F is on disability. He does not help with food or other household items. The only money he supplies is for his phone and the cable, which he requested. He also drinks most days.Je never seems to have money. She makes a decent wage but after a mortgage, all insurance, two vehicles, phones, beer, cigarettes, etc., she rarely seems to have money for necessities.We provide a lot for food and pay a rent amount, which, when piled onto other bills, creates a situation where we cannot afford to save for our own place.I made a bit of a fuss which has alleviated most of the smoking in the house. Our children are still hearing language that we do not deem appropriate. They see their "grandpa" stumble in so drunk that he can't eat properly (literally had pie all over himself one night). Also, R is on oxygen at night and has been known to light a cigarette in the same room. My mother in law will swear he is harmless.I don't know what to do anymore. We wanted the best for our family, we thought my husband's family would be supportive of our independence and grateful to have grandchildren around that they hadn't seen in forever. Instead, they tell us it's "their house" and that they don't know how to survive the winter without us.I am tempted to take the kids back to the old state. Or to another family members. My husband is considered to have too much income for us to get assistance. We can't get a loan. I'm terrified for my babies... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2lyX6Ty