Sick of my 21 mo old

TLDR: 21 mo old daughter is extremely needy, attached, easily frustrated, impatient, cannot play by herself, and sometimes aggressive. What am I doing wrong?Our daughter is different. Not handicapped or autistic as far as we know, but different... and difficult.She can be the sweetest girl, but she’s aggressive sometimes, and sometimes inflicts harm on herself. She has always been needy and attached, especially for mom. If we’re all together, she’ll only want to be with mom and couldn’t care less if I were there. This, despite me spending more time and quality time with her in the past year than mom. Significantly more at times. Mom stayed at her me with her up until 1 year. We moved from Europe to Hawaii. We didn’t have jobs for a while. Really we spent an awful lot of time with her. Too much? She loves daycare, ever since we started when she was 16 monthsWe sleep trained her for 1 to 2 months when she was 5 months, and from then until a month ago she slept through the night like a charm, with the normal set backs (teething, moving, etc). This past month she is inconsolable. As I type she’s been crying for the past half hour. Normally she self soothes and is retrained within 2 days. Not this time.She has terrible tantrums and sometimes scratches her own face badly..and she’ll throw things out of frustration.Now lately, when she gets even the slightest sign of disapproval, she looks downward and runs or walks away in silence to be alone, and avoids us....she never did that before..We talk to her calmly and gently most of the time. We try to discipline her appropriately and compassionately... yeah sometimes we don’t get it right and lose our temper.There’s been a ton of strain in the household with moving, job searches and switches, and other personal battles: depression and other..I don’t know. I don’t know what to do anymore. Our baby’s made us really question our choices and our emotional stability. Our marriage and our personal lives have suffered, are suffering...both of us have recently contemplated suicide. I guess that comes with the depression though.We can’t talk to anybody about this. No one seems to understand how difficult she is. They just see how cute or pretty she is...We feel pretty alone and helpless, and we just really need some help, advice, therapy, whatever..A babysitter... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2lrBdXo