3 yo nephew always doing something to my 1 yo daughter and his mom (my sister) never says anything to him! Sorry for long post but feel so frustrated!!!

My nephew is 3 yo and loves with my sister (his mother) and my parents. He is being raised by the 3 of them and they all parent my nephew different ways. Since my daughter was born, I would take her to visit my parents and my nephew would always be extra loud when he would see her sleeping and she would wake up crying. My dad told me one time that it was my nephew’s home and if he didn’t like the baby sleeping, he had every right to make noise to wake her up. He even suggested I got earplugs for my newborn baby.On one occasion I asked my sister to take care of my daughter while I grabbed something from my car. When I came back my daughter was crying and my nephew told me he had hit her. I asked why and he shrugged. I told my sister and she didn’t say anything. I told my nephew it was not right what he did. Same incident later and i took my nephew to my dad and he only said, don’t do that again.Fast forward to this past weekend. We went to my parents’ to a pre-Xmas celebration. While there, my nephew grabbed my daughter and pulled her so she fell while she was walking. She started crying and my mom went to pick up my daughter and didn’t say anything to my nephew. So my husband goes and sits with my nephew and my daughter to see them play. As my daughter is walking, my nephew saw her and while looking at her, puts his leg out to trip her. She falls again. This time my husband tells him hey why did you do that? You can’t do that. Then he raised his voice and he was firm and told him it was not right what he did and that as the older cousin, he would have to protect the younger cousins in the future. Everything he said was actually constructive. By this time my mom and sister are watching everything. My nephew stats answering back and my husband said, just go Hug your cousin but he didn’t. He goes to the couch and starts crying. My dad goes and picks him up and hugs him and then my sister takes him upstairs and they refuse to join the rest of the celebration. My dad was so mad, even smoke was coming out of his ears and nose. The other family members didn’t think that what my husband said was bad at all.When we are leaving my dad comes out all mad and I see him arguing with my mom because he wanted to yell at my husband but then went back inside the house. My sister texted me and said that what my husband did was unforgivable because now her son is traumatized. She said that if I want to go to my parents’ house to let her know in advance so she takes her son somewhere else. I told her that there have been so many incidents where my nephew does something physical where my daughter could have gotten hurt and she never disciplined him. She said we were treating her son as a criminal. I told her no, kids at that age are just kids and have no malice but we have to teach them right from wrong. She said he will never be around my daughter. I just feel so frustrated because now I can’t visit my parents since they feel the same way. I even told my mom they don’t see my nephew as their grandson but as their child so obviously they feel attacked when it should t be that way. If they don’t say anything to him to teach him he can’t do that to younger kids, then we have to say it if he’s doing it to our daughter. So sad his happened during Christmas and now we are banned from their house! :( any thoughts? I just feel so frustrated and even mad! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2CjlaBZ