My daughter’s mind lives on another planet.

When she was really little her nick name became cadet (space cadet). She is now 4 years old and is still on another planet. Putting her shoes on takes 10 reminders. She spills her drink because she twists her head to check out a noise, she slops her food because she “forgot” there was food on her spoon, she misplaces toys that are in her hand. She gets distracted by the flowers or the bugs or the big cloud. She’s loud and funny, and runs from dawn till after dusk. She is always covered in bumps and scratches from climbing, jumping, hopping, dashing everywhere. Sometimes she’ll ask for something and in the 10 seconds it takes for me to fulfill the request she has forgotten she asked for it. She’ll while away the afternoon in her own mind and imagination. She could play with only her toes and string for a day.Everything takes forever because she gets distracted in the middle. Eye contact, simple one step instructions and physically holding her hand to get a thing done works pretty well for most things but not for the bathroom.She will pee all over herself multiple times a day. She doesn’t notice her need to pee and she doesn’t care when she soaked in it.Even with reminders to pee she has accidents, she sits on the toilet but her body isn’t relaxed enough to pee because she tapping her toes, and twirling her hair. She can sit there for 2 minutes, sitting as still as she is capable, not pee, get up and then pee all over herself 30 minutes later.I have stopped cleaning up after her and make her change herself and clean up the mess but she cries the entire time overwhelmed by the enormity of the task. She threw up the other day from crying so hard. This is the only thing she ever cries about, big tasks. It’s too big, too much, too many etc… So instead of saying oops accidents happen here are the tools to solve this problem I have to supervise and help while she cries until she can’t breathe because her pants are “stuck”. I am losing my cool, unless I intervene she’ll never change herself voluntarily, she will put her pee soaked bottom on furniture and people and unless I manage the cleanup she’ll lose it until the point of getting physically ill and hyperventilating. Every accident results in a 40 minute clean up and I just don’t have that kind of time.Getting VERY serious about the threat of natural consequence leads to some improvement for a few days at best. “If you have accidents (during the day) at Grandma’s house she will send you home and you won’t get a sleep over. Grandma is too old and achy to change a big girl’s bum.”I know that I have made things worse by looking and getting angry but it’s been going on for months and I can’t keep up with the laundry, bedding or couch cleaner.Is there any way I can help my daughter focus on tasks at hand, and listen to her own body. The peeing thing is very frustrating and it’s symptomatic of her absent mindedness. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2w9GRAk