We have a newborn, I'm the father and I am finding it very difficult to adjust to, and I'm really struggling. I'd love to hear some advice or suggestions from people who have been through the same. This is a long post.

To preface this, I'd like to say that I love my child and would be devestated if anything should happen to her. I also know I need to 'man up' or 'get a grip' - I'm asking for advice on how to do so.So to begin with, I'm a very clean and hygenic person. I cannot stand the sensation of being dirty or unclean. I also find loud, jarring noises extremely aggravating - more so than most, I feel. I'm just not able to tune them out. I guess you could say I cherish calmness, serenity and cleanliness.I knew I wanted kids at some point. My partner was desperate for them and we had been together for 10 years, we were getting a bit older and so I thought we should just go for it. I hoped that this 'instant connection' and 'immense love' everyone says you feel when your child is born would override any other feelings I had.Well, I was wrong.My partner is absolutely incredible with our baby whilst I struggle with pretty much everything other than just holding her when she's quiet. I am so thankful that she is here to help me, and she's being very supportive and understanding. But she also makes me feel ashamed of myself for being so pathetic and useless.Last night, she was very tired and wanted to go to bed early (about 7pm) to catch up on sleep. She asked if I could watch over our baby. "Of course" I said. I was determined to prove to her and myself that I could do this.So my wife goes up to bed and hands baby over to me. Immediate tears. It was 7pm and I was in the middle of an episode of TV - there was 20 minutes left. My plan for the evening was to look after baby, finish the episode, get a drink of water and go to bed at around midnight.So I burp the baby and sing to her for about half an hour. She's sick down herself so I wipe it off her. She seems pretty calm and sleepy, so I put her down in her moses basket. Suddenly, wide awake and in tears. I didn't want her to wake my partner, so I pick her up and start rocking her again. She gradually calms down after about 15 minutes, and then she fills her nappy. Ok, no problem. I take her upstairs to change her.Hysterical, purple in the face crying. Screeching and screeching at me, I take her clothes and her vest off and leave her in the cool air for a minute or so to prompt any further bowel movements. Nothing. So I pull out a new nappy and begin to put it on her and she does a bright orange shit all over my hands and wees all up my arm. I can't do anything covered in shit, so I go to the bathroom to clean myself up. Constant wailing and screeching in the background. I clean up and go back into the room to finish dressing her. She is kicking her legs and arms and screeching - making this whole process as difficult as she can for me.I take her back down stairs and spend another 20 minutes rocking her and calming her. She begins to look sleepy, eyes are closed and yawning etc. So I put her down again and think about getting a drink because I'm thirsty. As soon as I put her down, she is wide awake and begins to cry. I pick her back up and continue to rock her for another 15 minutes, before trying to put her down again. She looks sleepy for about 10 seconds before waking up again, so I kneel down beside her and sing to her, gently rocking her basket. She won't sleep, but she is staying quiet. I do this for another 20 minutes until she closes her eyes. I stand up to get this drink and she is immediately awake again and starts crying.I pick her up and continue to rock her for about 15 minutes but she's mouthing me and clearly wants feeding. She is absolutely screeching in my face, as I take her up to my wife (she is breastfeeding). My wife hasn't had any sleep because baby is crying all the time because I can't seem to calm her. Wife takes baby off me like a champ. She is totally soothing and understanding.I go back down the stairs and notice I have bits of shit on my t-shirt. All in all I have had baby for about 3 hours and in all that time, I didn't even have a chance to get a drink. I feel totally fucking useless and exhausted, and I bury my head in the family dog and cry for about 10 minutes. I go up to bed where my wife has the baby totally calm. I get into bed utterly exhausted and sleep right through the night. I learn my wife gets up for the baby numerous times in the night and I slept right through it all.Today, I feel like utter shit but my wife is still bright eyed and smiles as if none of it phases her. Can anyone please advise how I get better at this and stop feeling so pathetic?Thanks. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2C0ZWMJ