My youngest (3) and 2nd of my 3 kids went back to school today.. Just had a big cry in the basement, now gotta refocus & have a special last day with my daughter.

I spent the last 80+ days working from home with my 3 kiddos on their summer vacation. I can't lie, it wasn't easy. There were a few times I thought I was going to cry, but I kept telling myself "you literally have this opportunity only once in their lives". I kept thinking, maaan, it's going to be great to be back at my office, super quiet & really blow out some code (I'm a Sr. Software Engineer for one firm & run my own company as well). Today, my youngest who is 3 started his 1st day of Pre-K (year 2). He was fine and big and brave and then it was time for me to go and :'( The teacher of course said "it's fine, go ahead" and my daughter and I left. She doesn't start until tomorrow. It is incredibly hard for me to hear my kids calling for me when sad and I don't do anything to help them. I feel like the worst person on earth.A lot of what fuels that is having lost my 1st born son a decade ago to a heart defect. While I was able to connect Children's Hospital of Boston's Team to Denvers to coordinate his open heart surgery by writing a very passionate letter to the best heart surgeon in the Country, I couldn't do anything to actually help him.​I have to admit though, basement cry just now helped a great bit. So, with only 1 left -- my now legally adopted daughter whom I've cared for since she was just months old -- it's time to have a special day. One day I won't be here anymore and since I have no control over when that day is, I just want my kids to know how much I love them. You might never get tomorrow. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2PPzWXI