Daughter (5) worrying about how things fit.

My daughter is suddenly worried about her pants fitting (or, rather, not fitting), as well as her sandals. She’s worried that her pants are going to fall down and people are going to see her underwear. I’m not sure why the shoes suddenly came in to play.I think the issue stems from a situation in pre-k, where her religious (secular school, but the teacher herself was religious) teacher told me, in front of my kid, that we needed to put bike shorts under her dresses because she was being immodest and showing everything her panties when she sat down.Honestly, I thought it was a little silly, because she’s four, but buying a few pairs of bike shorts from old navy wasn’t a big deal. She protested the whole thing at first, but it was okay eventually.So pre-K ends and she has to say goodbye to people she really loved. This launched her in to a series of bathroom behaviors that we had never seen—she suddenly felt like she had to pee all the time then, after the pee thing stopped, she constantly felt like she had to poop. The whole bathroom issue lasted maybe a month. Then she started the summer program at her former pre-k, and was fine for those five weeks.The summer program ends, and now the prospect of kindergarten is really real. She’s having nightmares, and telling me she doesn’t want to go. Lots of crying involved. Suddenly she starts obsessing over her pants falling odd and showing her underwear. This is about two weeks prior to school starting. Every morning is pants-themed hellscape where she puts on pants that have always fit and then sucks her stomach in and claims that they do not fit, and that they will fall off and show her undies. Keep in mind, this is MONTHS after the teacher requested we put shorts on her. It’s like it’s just been sitting in her brain, becoming a thing.My daughter is in the 45th percentile for height, 13th for weight. Any stretchy pants she wears will fit nicely on the legs, but will feel looser on the waist. That’s how they have always fit. We cannot go up a size because then they wouldn’t fit at all, we cannot go down a size because they would be too short and too tight in the legs. I have demonstrated this to her, but I know nothing. Regardless, her pants fit just fine, even if they are a little loose.We do have pants that adjust in the waist. She has now started claiming these do not fit. Because of the pants thing, she prefers to wear dresses. Of course she’s just had a growth spurt, so the majority of her dresses can not be worn without shorts.And like I said, this is now being applied to her sandals as well. Yes, they are a little loose, but they’re not falling off of her. We live on the surface of the sun, and her little feet get so hot during the day in her tennis shoes, but she is refusing to wear sandals. This started just this week.Here’s my theory: this whole summer has been an adventure in pre-k mourning/kindergarten apprehension. Her behaviors have coincided with the ends and beginnings of pre-K, the summer program, and kindergarten. Worrying about your pants is a weird way to show you’re nervous, but she’s five and that’s obviously the thing she has chosen to project on. But she has to wear shorts and skirts (this also applies to skirts) to kindergarten. They’re part of the uniform. In order to get her through this, I have started a sticker chart. If we can get through the morning without tears about her pants falling off, she gets a sticker. 25 stickers gets her a toy.She’s starting to enjoy kindergarten more, so I’m hoping this starts to diminish in the coming weeks. Here’s what I need to know:has anyone else dealt with their kids showing anxiety like this? How did you help them to show their anxiety in a way that was a little more productive? Not that it’s wrong to show her anxiety like this but I just feel like I should be teaching her to handle this in a way that addresses the thing she’s actually worried about.How to I help my kid manage her anxiety in general? My husband and I both have anxiety issues, so this isn’t a surprise.How do you keep molehills from becoming mountains? My daughter was obviously growing that worry about her underwear for months, until she was sufficiently worried about something, which gave it the opportunity to come out. But I had no idea my daughter had clung to the underwear thing for so long. Other than some minor protests, it never really seemed to bug her. Is there a way to keep this from happening? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2PbqtZz