Tuesday 30 August 2016

[x-post from /r/relationships] My (27F) friend (27F) is angry at me for telling my son and daughter (6) the facts of life


Hi, I've posted this on /r/relationships but I thought I'd post here too, just in case. I hope I haven't broken any rules.My twins Max* and Emily* are both very much into human biology, like I was when I was their age. My ex (their dad, 28M) and I get them age appropriate books, and they had a basic knowledge of how the body works. The other week, they both simulatenously started bothering me about where babies come from after noticing my friend's pregnant belly. My ex and I spoke about it and decided we'd tell them together. When I was little and started asking, my mother sat me down in front of Look Who's Talking and then answered my questions from seeing that, and borrowed some books from the library - I never remember being sold a story about the stork. My ex had a lot of that hidden from him and told me he didn't want his children finding out in their own way. It's the summer holidays so over a week, we did activities together with the kids and basically guided the conversation so they ended up asking, which they did eventually and we told them everything, but in a very gentle way, and followed their lead with the answers we gave. They understood and I'm really proud of them and how smart they are, and also of my ex - I couldn't ask for a better father for them.Now onto my friend. The other day my twins and I were at her house. They were playing with her 5 year old son, and we were sitting in the living room chatting. I heard the conversation, where my daughter started talking about what her mummy and daddy told her about where babies really come from - I get the impression this was a continuation of an earlier conversation where she was about to brag. I shot both of them The LookTM and they knew to stop talking before they said anything more (I know I'm biased but they really are smart lol), and that was the end of that. However, apparently that night, my friend's son kept bugging her about her belly and how the baby got there. The following morning (yesterday), she messaged me saying that I shouldn't have told my kids, that they'll end up being a bad influence on other kids and that I've robbed them of their innocence and that she doesn't want her son's innocence ruined too. I responded that if she feels that way that she shouldn't let him hang out with them. I got no response.I'm feeling really shitty at the moment. Apart from that incident, my friendship with her has been strong, and she doesn't have that many people to help her while she's pregnant. My kids have started asking after her son. I've known her since we were 11. However, I also feel I did the right thing in telling my kids - it was something I'd always planned to do. I have told them not to share it with any other kids and explained that it's a special thing that mummies and daddies tell their kids and it can't be anybody else, and they seem to understand that.I think the question probably caused my friend to panic and she's taking it out on me, but I feel hurt about the robbing innocence remark. I didn't show them a porn video and leave them to figure it out on their own. I also feel like she'll eventually come round but I want to reach out and give us an opportunity to talk properly.tl;dr: I taught my 6 year olds the facts of life, and they nearly shared this with my friend's 5 year old. Now my friend is upset with me and thinks I robbed their innocence. How can we get past this? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bzBPp7

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