TLDR; Daughter is extremely high strung and needs constant attention. Husband is similar to her and I am about to lose my cool.I am seriously at my wits end. My oldest daughters were easy to raise and would react appropriately to discipline. My youngest is the opposite. If I punish her, she immediately begins crying and does not learn the right lesson from it. She will say things like, "You're right I'm stupid. I mess everything up." Mind you, the punishment is completely appropriate and not even severe. Her reaction to everything is so severe and so dramatic. This is just one issue though.My youngest needs constant attention when she decides to seek us, more specifically from my husband. She needs to be 100% his world and anyone who begins speaking to him, is interrupted by her. I have spoken with him about this at length but he is the same as her. Needs to be the center of attention and does not see the need for curbing her inappropriate behavior. His philosophy is that any attention, good or bad, is better than none. He had some serious Daddy issues growing up and was permitted to behave like a crazy kid with nobody paying it any mind. I know the acting out of my youngest is largely influenced by him.Since I can't get through to him that our youngest is in fact not the top of the hierarchy in our family and her constant attention grabbing and over talking everyone in this family is not acceptable, I am turning to Reddit for tips on how I can handle her non-stop talking and need for attention. I know it is related to self esteem, but her behavior is out of control and I am growing very impatient with her behavior. Hardly anyone but my husband wants to hang out with her as of lately because her behavior stresses all of us out. Myself and my other daughters are very relaxed. My husband and my youngest are extremely high strung. Despite all the activities we do, she is never worn out enough. Nothing is ever enough for her and teaching her gratitude has fallen of deaf ears. We have paid plenty of attention to her ever since she was born but placing restrictions on how long someone wants to do an activity results in a melt-down or pouting. I don't want to play dolls for hours, my other kids want alone time. For her, the party can never end.The husband situation is out of the question. He might try help me resolve the issue for about a day and then it's back to the same crap. He has never wanted to go through the uncomfortable experience of regular discipline to curb behaviors and this is a large part of why my youngest is the way that she is. I am the disciplinarian and he is the play time. That is the way it has always been. This is also why my oldest are so well behaved. They are not his biological kids. It's the Dad and the youngest's show pretty much all the time. He even ignores what I say and answers her.This pedestal she is on, is not going to help her with relationships in the future. It won't teach her how to deal with failure or rejection. Always having someone to protect you against the repercussions of your actions does nothing but reinforce the bad behavior. That much I am sure of.I hope someone here has had similar experiences and can share how they dealt with it. I am more worried about my kid's future than this mildly inappropriate connection my husband and her have. I am not wanting to cut her father out of her life, but I refuse to continue allowing her to think she runs this house. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bYjKQT
No comments:
Post a Comment