Needing a Prayer

I am a mother of 3 small children and I am in a severely verbal abusive relationship. We live with their father but we are not married. We have been together going on 5yrs and everyday I do my best to make sure I donot do anything to set him off. Words of being worthless and lazy, not good enough are all among the words that are yelled to me. I donot work so being a stay at home mom, i do all i can to make sure the house is spotless. That dinner is made to his liking and he has lunches made for when he goes to work. Why have i stayed you ask? Although he isnt a good partner he is a good father and loves his kids. He suffers from PTSD from the military and he does have his good days. I havent worked in 5 yrs. I donot have any money set aside. I do have family, but they know nothing of this abuse. We have set a picture of perfection and happiness. I have stayed silent although in reality my home life is an absolute nightmare. I have to get myself and my kids out of this environment. I stayed because i thought he would get help. The person he is when his ptsd isnt taking charge is the man i fell in love with. I know this isnt him but mentally I cant take the abuse anymore. Im slowly going under myself. My question is, we live in NC. Are their resources in my state that can help mothers in my situation? What do i do? If i act like im going to leave it will set him off. I know its the weekend so most places arent open. I need a plan. I dont want my kids to hate me for leaving their father, but i also dont want my oldest son to turn into what he believes is ok behavior. And my 2 little girls to feel its ok for a man to talk to them this way. Im terrified writing this post. Normally I am a strong,ambitious,outgoing woman. Since ive met him I have given up all outside friendships and usually never go anywhere. What do I do? I have kept silent through all this and i feel so alone and out numbered. I dont know what to do. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2XBLlkj