So when I met my husband I was in college and I told him how my biggest dream was to be a stay at home mom. He told me how that's what he wanted for his wife and how his Baby mama wasn't good at it. Fast forward and we get married and pregnant. Husband wants me to quit school and my two jobs. So I did. My parents were worried and didn't want me to rely on him and then if it didn't work out I'd be screwed so they convinced me to do a trade school so I'd have something to fall back on if it didn't work out. So I did phlebotomy. This was when I was pregnant with my first son. When my son was about 4 or 5 months old his kids came to live with us unofficially. She wasn't taking care of them and I suggested that we just keep the kids and keep track and in some time file for custody. So that's what we did. We paid her CS ($1,000/month) while we had the kids full time. We dealt with her using the kids as pawns and when a year hit I was pregnant with our second kid and I couldn't deal with the stress of her threatening the kids if we didn't do as she said. So I told my husband she signs them over or you get a lawyer or I'm not taking them back. So he agreed to a lawyer but it was my job to find one we could afford --. Then it was my job to communicate with the lawyer -- and do everything. -_______- well now I've been a stay at home mom for 4 years and I have been taking care of the kids the entire time. (hubby helps me) but I'm a very goal oriented person and for the last 4 years my goals were having kids and a family and helping everyone get to where they needed to be. Husband a promotion and we relocated states, oldest no longer failing and reading up to her grade level, middle managing stress and not biting nails, and you get SS speech therapy and raising the two I made. Well I've completed my goals ... Which is great but now I'm feeling empty.... I love being a stay at home mom and I'm grateful I got to do it but I want to be more than just a mom..... Sometimes my kids make comments about money like, "well daddy makes the money" (hubby does correct the behavior and doesn't tolerate disrespect) and I'm tired of being at home. I'm tired of feeling like a maid and a babysitter.... I want to do a nursing program that's a year long and would be M-F 8-2:30 but hubby doesn't want me to until all the kids are in school. That's 2 more years !! He keeps telling me how time flies and I'm going to miss this. Which are both true statements but I don't want to do this anymore.... He gets off work at 12-1pm I just don't think having the kids babysat from 8-12 is that big of a deal... I don't know how to convince him and yes I'm a grown ass woman and can do whatever I want but if we don't agree on it and it severely affect our marriage. Every time I bring it up he has a million excuses. Things arent stable with his job and what if he looses his job and then I'm out at school. I just want you to wait so you can really focus on your school work instead of having to worry about the kids. I don't want someone else raising our kids. If something happens to the kids it's going to be your fault because you could have been at home with them. You wanted to be a stay at home mom.I did want to be a stay at home mom but things have changed. Being a SAHM is an unappreciated job and it's tiring and the main thing, isolating. With the what if something happens to the kids it's frustrating because if we didn't have money and I had to work then it would be okay but since we have the money and I can stay at home it's a choice 😒 I just need some solid things to convince him... We married when I was 20 and he was 28 and I was/still am changing and delevoping as a woman and we fight sometimes because I feel like he treats me like a child and that's frustrating. It's frustrating that I'm trying to better myself and set myself up for a good career and he's like no just stay at home with the kids. I'm all for it once the kids are in school .. but I feel like once the kids are in school he's going to have some other excuse.... Sorry this is all over the place. My brain is all over the place via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/31VdkLd
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