This is mainly a rant.I have 2 sons. They are 2 and 3.5 years old. They're pretty typical toddlers. They don't listen and have tantrums from time to time. My husband and I discipline the older one with timeouts. The younger one doesn't really understand enough of what's going on to have a timeout yet. We mostly just don't pay him much mind when he decides to have a tantrum.My 3.5 year old does well with timeouts most of the time. We just put him in the hallway and close the baby gates and he stays out there until he's ready to apologize to his brother (the most frequent victim of his bad behavior) or whatever. On the rare occasion, he will hit and kick the gates to come back into the living room. So, in those instances, we remove him further from the situation. I will make him go sit in the downstairs bathroom on the toilet. The bathroom is right next to the living room, but he can't hit the baby gates from there. I would rather send him to the dining room, but we have a glass hutch and china in there and I was always worried he'd break something.That said, I think the kids are at the age where I'm going to take the gates off the dining room and leave it open, so he'll have his timeouts in there at the table if he's misbehaving in the hall.Anyways, my mom has always been insistent that I spank both kids. She says I'm going to raise brats. My mother terrified me as a child. She was very verbally and emotionally abusive. She denies ever hitting me, but she did. She also dragged me through the house by my hair on several occasions when I was little. Another time, she smashed a picture frame in my room and dragged me through the glass. I got a terrible cut on my toe. She is a total narcissist and denies being abusive to me. She blames everything on my former stepdad.She tells me that if my son tells his teacher that he sometimes sits in the bathroom for timeouts that they'll think it's weird. I explained that the bathroom thing is a very rare occurrence and the door is open and the light is on. It's only because of our home's layout that I ever used it in the first place. All the bedrooms are upstairs and I don't want to leave him alone up there. She thinks I need to spank him and then he'll be afraid of me and never act up again. I told her that if he tells his teacher that I hit him that they'll be a lot more disturbed by that than the fact that he's had to sit in the bathroom for a few minutes.Today she told me that I should spank my 2 year old. I think that's just completely bonkers. I'm sick of her making me feel weird about timeouts. I am going to start putting my son in the dining room for the "stage 2" of timeouts as opposed to the bathroom because I think he'll be safe in there now. I don't think I was doing anything weird or wrong by putting him in a place I felt was safe for timeouts when the hallway timeouts failed.I don't want my children to feel the way about me that I feel about my mother. I think that her insistence on me spanking them and making the timeouts out to be weird/bad is because she's threatened by the fact that I parent without violence. She sees it as an indictment of her own parenting. She talks shit about me to my 22 year old, unmarried, childless sister all the time and tells her to spank her kids when she has them. My sister agrees with my mom. My mom will brag about this to me. It's really starting to piss me off. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2KEBNz2
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