Hello everyoneI’m a stay at home Mum of two children (ages of 4 and 7 months) and I honestly think I am very close to losing my mind completely.My husband works 35 hours a week 8.30am till 4 on weekdays, off on weekends and he has a hands on job as an engineer.The reason I feel like I am losing my mind is because (although I understand my husband works and supports us) I feel like a single mother. The responsibilities of looking after my kids falls to me 24 hours a day. In the 7 months that our son has been here my husband has changed 5 nappies if that. He doesn’t even pick him up or play with him at all. Because our son is breastfed my husband hasn’t had to do a single feed and has therefore opted out of helping me with the baby in the middle of the night as he said it’s pointless (even though he could change the baby, pick up the baby and settle him as he doesn’t need feeding every time)On an average day I look after the kids but I also have a list of jobs my husband expects me to do before he gets home at 4 which take up most of my day. Everyday I’m expected to clean and tidy the house top to bottom. Mopping and hoovering, all the washing up done and put away, all surfaces in the house wiped down and the bathroom cleaned. Laundry done every morning, hung out and put away before he is home. I also do the food shop with no input from him although he complains every week I’ve bought the wrong things. The housework I do every day I feel is what someone would do normally once a week. On top of all this my husband has set places where literally every item we own has a place. The kettle for example has to point towards the microwave, the blinds in the bathroom have to be open a certain amount to let in the correct amount of light he thinks looks best etc.Even my daughters bedroom is expected to be spotless when he comes home (even no toys out etc). If the house isn’t up to his standard I get told off like I’m an employee. He says I’ve not done good enough and that he expects better the next day.This over time has led me to being the most depressed I have ever felt in my life. I have had depression since being a teenager but now I struggle most days to even dress myself. I just make sure my children are dressed and when I finally manage to get myself out of my own thoughts I tackle the housework.When my husband comes home at 4 he will disappear upstairs and get a bath/lie in bed for an hour and he’ll reappear when I have made tea (something I struggle with because the baby always wants feeding when I’m half way through cooking so I’m left with the dilemma of do I feed him and the tea burns or finish tea as quick as I can and leave the baby crying). Once again my husband would never cook tea as he has “been at work all day”. After I have made tea we sit at the table and my husband will eat as quickly as he can and will leave the table within 5 minutes of us all being sat, leaving me to feed the baby his solids and making sure our daughter behaves and eats her tea.I then have to clean the kitchen and wash up all the pots and dishes and put them away, tidy up the livingroom (as the cushions have to be a specific way before my husband is happy to sit down) and then i take my oldest to bed etc and then after that I finally sit down and husband appears to watch tv with me.I’ve tried telling my husband I’m depressed and he seems to either think I’m making it up and I’m just lazy or he believes I’m depressed and tells me to just get on with it, depending on what mood he is in.The hard part is I love my husband, and I appreciate that he goes out to work but it is killing me inside because I’m treated like I’m lazy, like my life is easy, like I have nothing to complain about when my depression makes even a good day the worst day.I also feel guilt because I don’t work, and on occasion my husband will ask me when I am going to get a job but in all honesty I’m so depressed I can’t even think about it.I want to get help from the doctors because I feel like I’m letting my kids down but I’m also scared to incase they think I’m an unfit mother. I’ve tried talking to my family but they all live hundreds of miles in each direction and don’t offer any help. I don’t have any friends anymore because they all disappeared when I had kids. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2N132C1
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