22 year old looking for a parents perspective

I’m scared. Like really scared. I feel exposed and vulnerable. I’m a 22 year old Guy. I have a year left of college and live with my parents. I have a chronic adrenal/pituitary/hormonal disorder.My whole life change has been hard. Any kind of transition has been extremely painful. But since I graduated high school I haven’t been truly happy. I’m now extremely emotional and I cry alone a lot. I’m scared for life after college.Growing up with the condition I have my whole childhood was filled with blood tests and constant doctors appointments with specialists. I was in physical therapy until I was 10 due to low muscle tone. I did not talk until I was three and was in speech therapy for many years. I had a learning disability in school. I’ve wet the bed frequently my whole life because my body doesn’t make the hormones to tell my kidneys to stop making urine. I’ve been taking medicine for it since I was 10 but it doesn’t always work.I’m overweight due to all the corticosteroids I took for a long time. I’m 5’6 and 250. I’ve gained 60 pounds since graduating high school. I’ve never had a girlfriend or even a girl be interested in me. I didn’t really care that I didn’t have a girlfriend until I was 20 and started to feel behindI still feel really behind emotionally. I used to be that guy that felt he had everything figured out in life. I was confident, smiling, care free, and driven. The confidence is gone. The smiles are mostly gone. The cares have taken over.My mom just turned 53 and my dad is 60. My mom has been by my side throughout it all. My dad never went to any appointment. My mom asked all the hard questions and pushed for answers. My mom met with all my teachers early on in school. She handled and still handles most of my medications. Twice a week she injects me with hormones. Looking back it’s pretty clear her and my many doctors called all the shots in my life. She was in control at those doctors appointments - I was just a participant. My mom went to every doctors appointment with me until I was 20. I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life and for years she went to weight watchers meetings every weekend with me. Also, I’m embarrassed to admit this, but she still cuts my fingernails. She has my whole life. I’ve never been able to learn how (I’ve never been good with fine/gross motor things). When I was in my first year of college an hour away from my house she used to drive up every week or two and cut them.I’ve always been very independent in my daily life and with money, but I’ve realized these past few years how dependent on my mom I am for medical things but also emotionally. Her influence in my life is still tremendous. I feel like at my age most parents influence in their kids lives is decreasing. I feel more dependent on my mom than ever before. My sister will just shrug my mom off and do her own thing. I’ve never been able to do that.I own my own business that is semi successful. I invest in the stock market, yet I still feel so behind.I have a younger sister who is turning 20 in a few months. She is my complete opposite and has zero health issues. She is an athlete and a 4.0 student. She left home for college and never looked back. She has a boyfriend, is in a sorority, and loves to party.These last few years since graduating high school have been really hard. I went to a highly structured Catholic high school. I had a pretty normal and childhood with minimal to no change. We’ve lived in the same house for 20 years. I still sleep in my childhood bedroom. I had a pretty normal childhood with no stress or anxiety. I didn’t realize I was “different”. My parents, while loving and supportive, never really coddled me. My sister and I were raised the same (other than my constant doctors appointments). They never treated me differently. Besides taking a few pills, I never really felt different.I also think they never let onto how serious my condition is/was - the way my mom used to explain it to me was an extreme simplification. It turns out that my deficiencies had a name all along that I was never told - hypopituitarism. It’s only now in my life I’m starting to see and understand how these deficiencies will impact the rest of my life in every aspect from the fact that I probably will not be able to have kids to the fact that my life expectancy will most likely be shorter.I just don’t see an end to my emotional dependency on my parents, especially my mom. I never pushed away or rebelled in my teenage years like most do. My mom is not just a mom to me, she has always been my caretaker, defender, protector. My moral compass, my advocate, my everything. She would walk through hell with me and I would do the same for her. She fought for me in the classroom and in the doctors office. I can “adult” without her help but would rather have her along for the ride in the passenger seat. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2MVDYfA