Wednesday 27 June 2018

15 year old daughter is pregnant.


Hi all. My daughter, Victoria, was feeling unwell recently. Her mum and me were concerned but didn't think it went beyond a stomach bug and nausea. She told us that she missed her period. We were obviously very worried at that point. We know that she has a boyfriend, Scott, and we stay out of what happens between them. When she told us this I rushed to get her a pregnancy test, which she took.The result was positive and she burst into tears when she saw it. We took more tests to be certain and all came back positive. She's absolutely terrified at the moment and isn't sure whether she wants to keep the child, and we've said we'll support her whatever she does.The one issue we have is how this will affect her schooling. She's a smart kid, as in really smart. She's top of her year in five subjects, three of which her exam marks were 100% (not a single question wrong). and hasn't got a single grade in any subject lower than a B. Her mum and me aren't pushy parents at all. Obviously we never wanted her to do badly in school, but we have never been the type to pressure her to get straight As or whatever. Everything she's done has been done of her own ability and to be honest a lot of it is natural talent. She doesn't study or revise often and has been pulled up for not doing homework and coursework, and spends more time out with her friends than at home. If she was failing at school than all of this would be concerning, but we always said that as long as her grades were at least average, we wouldn't stick our noses in, and clearly she's way above average. However, she has one year of school left, and clearly being pregnant and then caring for a baby will take up a lot of her time, and will definitely affect her post-school life. She doesn't have a solid idea of what she wants to do when she leaves school, but has said she would like to study A Levels or maybe do an apprenticeship.We do have a reason for our parenting decisions. Her mum (who she got her brains from) was identified as a ''gifted'' child early on and was given work that was meant for much older children. She could handle it, but the attention and the pressure from her parents messed with her head, and it's something she hasn't forgiven them for (although she does love them). When we had a child of our own she was determined to let her have a ''normal'' childhood, something I agree with.Victoria has never been a ''bad'' kid. She goes to house parties on the weekends, but everyone at her school does, and neither her or her friends are involved with anyone dangerous. There was an issue last year when we found cannabis in her bedroom, but she promised is it wasn't a problem and it was just something she'd tried a few times before, and said she wouldn't do it again if we didn't want her to, and so far she hasn't as far as we're aware. As I said we would never get involved in what happens between her and her boyfriend, but we have made sure she's aware of what is appropriate and what precautions should be taken, so we're astounded she could be so careless.As for Scott, he was obviously the first person he told, but his response was to shout at her and end the call. He then proceeded to block her number. I tried phoning him but as soon as he heard my voice he hung up. I've never particularly liked the guy but I've always been civil with him, but I'm very annoyed with his behaviour at the moment.Victoria didn't go to school the past two days and all she's done is cry. She's panicking about what she's going to tell her friends and the school, and she thinks that her life is ruined.Need some advice about how to go about this, especially if Scott does not want to be involved, as to whether to abort or keep the child. Should we allow her to consider all options or should we try to sway her in a particular direction? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2tyYTwW

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