My daughter is 11 (will be 12 in a few months) and I need help with her. I think she is becoming a not very good person. I have difficulty understanding what makes her happy and how to get her motivated to be better. I do talk to her and hear what she says but it’s like my solutions never work.The first issue is she’s not looking forward to summer holidays. (Really makes me sad that she’s not ecstatic to be off). She doesn’t like to be home alone and she gets board easily. I do work full time but I am taking about 8 days off here and there. We are going camping a few times, her grandma is taking a week off to have all grand kids over. I think throughout the whole summer she and her older brother will be home for 10 days alone. So I am trying to think of things she could do that will get her out of her room. So far I have suggested swimming lessons, do babysitting jobs as she has completed her babysitting course, go to my brothers farm for a few days, craft course, but she says she’s not interested in any of those.It’s never enough. It’s like she is always searching for what she wants next. So right now she isn’t getting anything so she’s in grumpy mood. She mopes around, she’s rude, talks back, doesn’t do her chores. For example 2 weeks ago she wanted these shoes and she was sad sad sad and when she knew she was going to get them she perked up and turned her persona completely around, she got the shoes and was good for a few days and now she’s back.We got her 2 kittens. We haven’t had a pet in awhile and my husband and I wanted them but also thought this could be something she would be responsible for and love. (It’s been a tough few years for her as her dad dragged us through a custody battle and he lost (due to his lack of involvement for the last 10 years) and he has now completely abandoned both her and her brother, it’s been about 10 months since any contact. So in saying all that, a lot of what I do is out of guilt for what their dad did.). The deal was is if we got the kittens she would be responsible to feed them and scoop out the litter once a day. Well big shocker, she’s not doing it. And when she does she leaves the wet food out, there is cat food all over the counter, she forgets to do the litter. Which leads into my next issue...She isn’t responsible, in anyway. She will wear dirty clothes if I let her, her room is disgusting, like garbage under her bed, her room is always trashed, she showers and throws her towel on the floor, leaves her lunch kit in her backpack and will sit there over the weekend, drops her jacket at the door. And I’m constantly nagging at her. We’ve tried chore lists, allowances, taking things away but all it ends up being is me nagging and following her around.She won’t help anyone unless it benefits her. For example, her little brother is 2 and we threw his soother on the ground, it landed right beside her foot, she wouldn’t grab it. He was crying and fussing and I had to ask her to pick it up and give it to him. Her older brother asked her to pass the remote, and i watched her reaction and I could see it literally pained her to pass it to him.On the other hand. She’s very smart, very witty, she’s beautiful, she’s very creative and thoughtful. She does well in school. She can be very good with her little brother. She has a great relationship with her step dad. I love her, she’s my only daughter but day to day I feel angry with her, disappointment, I worry about her as she is ruining relationships with friends. I don’t think she’s happy and I think if she was this would all turn around. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Ku95wU
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